Lindaland
  Astrology 2.0
  Should I put in more effort into relationship w/ aqua man? (Page 1)

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 
next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Should I put in more effort into relationship w/ aqua man?
confused_libra
Knowflake

Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 02, 2014 01:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

IP: Logged

next to neptune
Knowflake

Posts: 1890
From: The Moon
Registered: Aug 2013

posted August 02, 2014 02:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hmm I remember reading something like this before, maybe another of your subjects? Well, nothing new seems to have happened… no progress in your behavior towards each other. I don't know, some people get tired of this "back and forth" and "ping pong" where no one wants to make the first move, but no one really wants to cut contact either… you are both air signs, so you probably enjoy texting without that much commitment… it seems actually that both of you fear some serious commitment, and though you get annoyed with each other, it is not enough to really make you quit.

I have never experienced something like this myself, only that I have a libra ex-fling who still contacts me once in a while, and he always asks me out, I always tell him "yeah lets meet" but nothing ever happen… sometimes it's just out of timing lol! Its impossible to meet up, it just doesn't fit in your life at that moment, and no one really want to make an effort.

Don't know what you should do about it, it is unlikely that you two will ever get into something serious, unless one of you decides that this is NOW or never, and thats not the nature of air signs

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Knowflake

Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 02, 2014 02:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

IP: Logged

Aries23Degrees
Knowflake

Posts: 865
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012

posted August 02, 2014 03:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Although I am not an air sign,I have Mars in Libra and can relate to what you are saying so much.

When i make a mental connection with someone,the sexual attraction I feel for them is just...out of this world.

I wonder if you have a Venus-Mars connection in air? I had this with someone whom had their Venus in Aquarius trine my Mars in Libra.I had to just break free from expecting that he would ever reciprocate the feelings I made very clear to him.

Sometimes you just have you cut your losses. If you enjoy him too much to do that- try and "friendzone" him. Don't expect there to be romance between you two and make it clear that you just want to be friends.

But be warned,this method is for the brave. It will require you not to look back and refrain from jealousy when he does flirt with others-in your presence.

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Knowflake

Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 02, 2014 03:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

IP: Logged

Aries23Degrees
Knowflake

Posts: 865
From: South Africa
Registered: Dec 2012

posted August 02, 2014 03:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Let us put our reasoning caps on my Libra mate, and see if we can reach common ground heh?

This is a catch 22.

On the one hand, if you play it cool, things will progress pretty much the same way that they always have.

On the other hand,if you tell him of your feelings,you may risk losing him because then it'll be too "serious" and too much to deal with.

I,as a Mars in Libra, have been scared off by people who sat me down to tell me that they like me.I would rather things progress steadily towards that end.

Maybe you should bite the bullet and come clean? You really want to know where you are headed with him as all these silly mind games are irritating.

Maybe it is time to muster up some courage and just put yourself out there and say what is on your mind?

If he does walk away, then at least you know that you did your part.

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Knowflake

Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 02, 2014 04:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

IP: Logged

next to neptune
Knowflake

Posts: 1890
From: The Moon
Registered: Aug 2013

posted August 02, 2014 04:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:

I kind of just want to keep things the way they are with us kind of acting like we are dating when we see each other but not actually fully commit.


Haha sorry for quoting, but this is soooo libra. Indecisive much? Does he has any libra placement? Maybe you are simply too indecisive to initiate something more with this guy… your relationship sounds unique though, but Aqua people can stay in this kind of "Not really a relationship, but not really a friendship either" forever, seriously.
He probably likes the idea of this, and he is going nowhere, that is for sure

So as long as you don't want anything serious just keep things how they are, the moment it turns serious this guy either get bored or you will have a nice relationship

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Knowflake

Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 02, 2014 04:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

IP: Logged

charlie
Knowflake

Posts: 2234
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012

posted August 02, 2014 05:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for charlie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He is looking for unconditional love from you but don't go treating him the same... He needs to know that you will be there for him. It's a test. Many Aquas do it.

IP: Logged

next to neptune
Knowflake

Posts: 1890
From: The Moon
Registered: Aug 2013

posted August 02, 2014 05:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
Haha! I am extremely indecisive to the point where I don't even want to decide so I just leave it as is. Usually when I go grocery shopping, I walk into the store, feel overwhelmed by all the choices, and leave within 10 minutes. I also hate shopping at stores that have SO MANY CLOTHES. I'd rather have like 2 options, lol.

Well, that all sounds good to me. I just get worried that he will think I really don't care about him since I don't seem like I do and I never ask him out or call/text him. About a month ago he did tell me to call him sometime since he's always the first... So I asked him out once a few weeks ago but he was going out of town for the weekend, so now I'm just like nevermind.


It almost seems like you are afraid of showing anything to this guy that is just close to showing you even care for him… I don't know why, but it also sounds like you have your reasons. But I think this guy might have figured out already that you actually kind of like it each time he calls you… remember Aqua is a fixed sign, and if he has any other fixed placement that just makes him want to stay as things are even more… Aqua people actually don't like changes that much

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Knowflake

Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 02, 2014 10:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Knowflake

Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 02, 2014 10:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Knowflake

Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 03, 2014 12:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

IP: Logged

bansheequeen
Knowflake

Posts: 441
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012

posted August 03, 2014 05:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bansheequeen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by charlie:
He is looking for unconditional love from you but don't go treating him the same... He needs to know that you will be there for him. It's a test. Many Aquas do it.

So true. I'm an aqua and I do this hardcore. I pretty much won't budge until I see you jump through 1000 hoops on fire but once I've seen enough you'll have my undying devotion. still I know this is pretty screwed up. Aqua dating an aqua is the worst. Imagine two people with this mindset, both fixed and unwilling to budge until they see unconditional love from the other...

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Knowflake

Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 03, 2014 07:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Moderator

Posts: 1968
From: CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted August 03, 2014 08:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
Crap! Cuz I'm kinda like this too.. Lol. I've jumped through hoops for him in the past but that all came to an end around 2 years ago and now he has to jump through hoops for me in order to gain my trust fully back. But, I don't know if that will happen. It's rude of me to expect him to do that if I won't reciprocate and we've been rebuilding our relationship for over a year already now.. Maybe I should show an interest but I just don't want to give up the power... as bad as that sounds..

I am a Libra and can relate to how you're feeling. Your reply here struck me as very Libran. You aren't being a bad person - you're being fair. He took too much of your power away when you jumped through hoops to get him to like you, and you don't want to tip the scales in his favor again. However, you probably are feeling a bit guilty about it since you don't want to take all the power, either, deep down inside. A Libra's highest ideal, by default, is equality, 50/50, balance. You probably feel good having more power, but eventually it won't feel good to you because power plays aren't Libran. Unless you have a Scorpio signature or Scorpio planets. LOL. And even then it's sketchy.

The best advice I can give is follow what your intuition tells you. Try to pull cards for yourself if you're versed in the art of tarot/oracle card reading. It's good to trust your heart. It seems like he is a bit unpredictable, which is true to Aquarius' nature. I feel like the hearts he is sending you are too much, honestly. They don't seem very genuine. Actions speak louder than words. Even if you have good sexual chemistry, he seems like he has a shaky emotional foundation and a lack of clear direction in terms of what he wants from other people in the end when it comes to romantic relationships.

But again, trust your instincts. I read some of your other posts too, and the fact that you seem to feel like there is this 'block' in your psyche from contacting him more and initiating something speaks volumes to me. It's probably your intuition trying to speak up and let you know something is 'off' even if it's not totally apparent at the moment. Another piece of advice is, as best you can, not to even worry about it. He certainly doesn't seem as worried. I know as a Libra, it is hard not to worry about romance but don't. It's not worth it in the end. You aren't being prideful by withholding contact, you just aren't sure how you feel. Maybe a clear-cut conversation about boundaries and where both of you stand is in order.

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Knowflake

Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 03, 2014 08:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

IP: Logged

Geeky
Knowflake

Posts: 773
From: the Sun, vacation house on Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted August 03, 2014 09:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geeky     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:

he never showed up and never said he wasn't coming.

again, he doesn't show up and never told me. so i stopped.

it's like he wanted me to know he won't go out of his way for me.

he suddenly stopped asking about it and at this point I know it's not happening

I just don't know should I start contacting him or just leave it?


Leave it. You stated four different examples of how you aren't a priority in his life. You're worth more than that!

------------------
“Most people would rather be sheep than stand on their own with antlers on.”

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Knowflake

Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 03, 2014 09:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Geeky:
Leave it. You stated four different examples of how you aren't a priority in his life. You're worth more than that!


Thank you It's not so black and white though.. My head agrees but getting the message through to my heart is going to take some time...

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Moderator

Posts: 1968
From: CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted August 03, 2014 09:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
Wow, thank you for the reply! It was very insightful . I don't know when I last posted on here.. probably a year ago so things have changed. But thanks for doing your research lol.

It's hard to listen to intuition. My intuition says to go for it but my brain tells me not to. My intuition says "okay, he's contacted me more in the past 3 months than he ever has without me prompting anything..." but then my head says that he is still so immature and so obsessed with partying and escaping from reality. My head also says don't give in, because that might be what he wants. If I start initiating, I am scared he will pull away.

I guess, what it comes down to is, me thinking if he stops contacting me I'd rather it be because he thinks I'm not interested than because he thinks he "has" me and doesn't have to put in any more effort.

And you're right, I'm not sure how I feel. I often wonder if I want him because he seems just out of reach or because I actually want him? If he actually gave in and became a guy who shows me all the time that he wants me... I feel I'd grow bored? I'm not sure though. It's a tough thing deciding between your heart and your head.

But I really appreciate your well thought out response


You're welcome. I'm glad you liked my response. I wasn't aware that the initial thread was posted a while ago! Haha, no biggie though. I think that a conflict between heart and head can be very confusing, especially with romantic matters, so I sympathize. It may be a cliche Libran technique, but literally writing out the pros and cons of either stopping contact or going forward and initiating a romance may help you. Sometimes, this is a good method for Air signs when making decisions. Be honest when weighing the pros and cons. Try to imagine how you would feel/react in either situation.

It sounds like you're still really worried about letting go of your self-control. It's also very important to distinguish your feelings before acting. Sometimes, we go for unavailable or the 'wrong' people because it's more of a challenge, and it's also what we think we deserve vs. people who can be truly loving and available for us. I'm not sure how you feel about yourself, but the kind of people you go after romantically can speak volumes about your self-worth. I'm not trying to sound presumptuous, you simply remind me of myself and what I've done with many people and I don't want you to go down the same path. I've had many indecisive relationships and I've been attracted to a person who has bad habits (like this man you're describing, especially with partying) and seems more 'thrilling' due to the mystery/unavailability factor.

For now, there's no rush. Just take your time to weigh the pros and cons, and also try to determine what you actually want out of a relationship with this person. Do you want fun, or commitment? How would he feel about either kind of relationship? Try to envision all of these things. If you have the sense you'd be at odds with each other in too many practical areas, I would move on to someone else. Personally, I feel he doesn't sound 'right' for you, though you can whole heartedly disagree with me. I just get a bad vibe from someone who seems flaky and self-centered.

In any case, I feel you'll make the right choice in the end.

IP: Logged

confused_libra
Knowflake

Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Jul 2013

posted August 03, 2014 10:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confused_libra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

IP: Logged

sweet-scorpion
Moderator

Posts: 1968
From: CO, USA
Registered: Apr 2012

posted August 03, 2014 11:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweet-scorpion     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
OMG, you are amazing! It's rare that I come across someone who actually gives such great advice and takes the time to help me with a problem. So I thank you sincerely

I think I romanticize the relationship for a few reasons:

1) He really liked me in 9th grade, which was 9 years ago. So, for him to still want to be involved with me feels like he still has feelings after all this time and I feel like that means something. Maybe it doesn't, but that's just how I have thought about it.

2) I let him go about 2 years ago and I thought this would be it. In my mind, this was it and we were done with any sort of relationship. I cut off all contact. And yet, he came back to me after 6 months saying he missed me and wanted to be friends again. That was over a year ago and he is still making an effort. Maybe it's the saying "if you let them go and they come back, they're yours" that makes me romanticize it, but I romanticize this fact nonetheless.

3) The fact that without him keeping up our relationship, there would be no relationship. We share no mutual friends, we do not reside in the same area, we don't ever run into each other outside of work/school, he goes to school 5 hours from me..etc. He keeps up contact despite not having any obligation to do so.

With all that being said, I don't know if I'm romanticizing this all over the top or what. But, I know I really desire him 100% of the time. I think about him A LOT. I wish I could stop and it feels strange for me. I just need my heart and head to align with each other. I don't know how he'd feel about a relationship, he's very closed off. I know he is very deep/sensitive emotionally, but he does not show it.

For right now, I'm leaning more towards "fun" just because I know he has another year left of school and I'm starting law school. I don't know how a long-distance relationship would work especially with law school. He will probably move back to my area when he graduates, though. We have kept this going almost all through college, so I don't know. It's just hard to give up on something you've felt so strongly about for the past 3 years! Haha but thank you again from the bottom of my heart


Ahh, thank you. And you're more than welcome. Happy to be of help! I see things very objectively now when it comes to love because of the Venus conjunct Saturn transit I had/am still having a bit. It's good that you rationalized this and broke it down. It will definitely help illuminate how you feel.

On your first point, I see where you're coming from. Perhaps you two have Saturn contacts in synastry, as this seems like a 'karmic' relationship where neither of you can fully let go. Saturn in synastry can bind two individuals together, either positively or negatively.

On your second point, it doesn't seem uncommon for Aquarius people to desire friendship with love, and after a relationship has ended. I've noticed a common theme that Aquarian people tend to enjoy being friends with ex-lovers. So do 5H Uranus people.

I feel like, perhaps, your longstanding history is making you see the relationship with a more romantic view. This isn't inherently negative, but it can hinder your decision making. I just have the sense that there are many limitations and 'clashes' between you two that will not help a potential relationship. A Libran individual is often willing to go the extra mile for his/her loved one, but sometimes this is to the Libra's detriment. Thinking hard about the efforts of your hard work, if this person is really worth your time and commitment, is essential. It's good to be romantic, but being romantic about a person/relationship to the point where you lose clarity is not a good thing, of course.

To me, it seems like you've already answered your own question here: yes, you do see this connection in a romantic light with nostalgic feelings, but the relationship is too impractical for it to ever truly work. You're both too far away, there's a disconnect with communication, potential power plays, and one partner is less serious than the other. I know how difficult it is to balance the heart and the head, but it's OK if you still feel a sense of longing after you choose to cease contact or set boundaries that no romantic union can ever take place between you two. The longing will go away. If you feel like it's hindering you and won't go away, you don't have to be friends. Sometimes even if a connection seems fated and necessary to maintain...it really isn't. I know from experience.

These are just some straightforward thoughts about the situation that came to mind. I hope they don't sound too blunt! :')) I wish you all the best with this situation and finding out what you really want to do. At the end of the day, you must trust yourself.

IP: Logged

Geeky
Knowflake

Posts: 773
From: the Sun, vacation house on Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted August 04, 2014 12:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geeky     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
Thank you It's not so black and white though.. My head agrees but getting the message through to my heart is going to take some time...

Oh trust me... I know how hard that is! I've been the one that follows my heart and mutes what the head is trying to tell it! *lol*

I was only trying to point out the things you might not be seeing in that haze of feelings.

And now I wish I could hug you.

------------------
“Most people would rather be sheep than stand on their own with antlers on.”

IP: Logged

Geeky
Knowflake

Posts: 773
From: the Sun, vacation house on Mercury
Registered: Dec 2012

posted August 04, 2014 12:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geeky     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sweet-scorpion:
Ahh, thank you. And you're more than welcome. Happy to be of help! I see things very objectively now when it comes to love because of the Venus conjunct Saturn transit I had/am still having a bit. It's good that you rationalized this and broke it down. It will definitely help illuminate how you feel.

On your first point, I see where you're coming from. Perhaps you two have Saturn contacts in synastry, as this seems like a 'karmic' relationship where neither of you can fully let go. Saturn in synastry can bind two individuals together, either positively or negatively.

On your second point, it doesn't seem uncommon for Aquarius people to desire friendship with love, and after a relationship has ended. I've noticed a common theme that Aquarian people tend to enjoy being friends with ex-lovers. So do 5H Uranus people.

I feel like, perhaps, your longstanding history is making you see the relationship with a more romantic view. This isn't inherently negative, but it can hinder your decision making. I just have the sense that there are many limitations and 'clashes' between you two that will not help a potential relationship. A Libran individual is often willing to go the extra mile for his/her loved one, but sometimes this is to the Libra's detriment. Thinking hard about the efforts of your hard work, if this person is really worth your time and commitment, is essential. It's good to be romantic, but being romantic about a person/relationship to the point where you lose clarity is not a good thing, of course.

To me, it seems like you've already answered your own question here: yes, you do see this connection in a romantic light with nostalgic feelings, but the relationship is too impractical for it to ever truly work. You're both too far away, there's a disconnect with communication, potential power plays, and one partner is less serious than the other. I know how difficult it is to balance the heart and the head, but it's OK if you still feel a sense of longing after you choose to cease contact or set boundaries that no romantic union can ever take place between you two. The longing will go away. If you feel like it's hindering you and won't go away, you don't have to be friends. Sometimes even if a connection seems fated and necessary to maintain...it really isn't. I know from experience.

These are just some straightforward thoughts about the situation that came to mind. I hope they don't sound too blunt! :')) I wish you all the best with this situation and finding out what you really want to do. At the end of the day, you must trust yourself.


Amazing feedback.

------------------
“Most people would rather be sheep than stand on their own with antlers on.”

IP: Logged


This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2014

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a