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Author
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Topic: i don't like the "rules" but should i call this aqua man?
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confused_libra
Knowflake Posts: 111
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 09, 2014 04:09 PM
  
.IP: Logged |
Barbiegirl19
Knowflake Posts: 4553
From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 09, 2014 04:10 PM
No don't do it!
Trust him and let him do it. You don't want to come across as desperate or anxious. IP: Logged |
BellaFenice
Knowflake Posts: 997
From: Pseudo-Leo with a 1st House Stellium
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted August 09, 2014 04:14 PM
NOPE.I'm with you: the rules are lame and I always break them, but he was the one who apparently had to take you on a date. If he really wants to see you, he'll make the effort. IP: Logged |
confused_libra
Knowflake Posts: 111
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 09, 2014 04:14 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
No don't do it!
Trust him and let him do it. You don't want to come across as desperate or anxious.
Thank you  But.. I'm just worried because he is always the one who contacts me and to him I probably don't seem interested so I really shouldn't contact him? Won't he think I'm not into it? I feel like maybe I should just to let him know I do want to see him? IP: Logged |
Barbiegirl19
Knowflake Posts: 4553
From: Pluto with DeepFreeze
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 09, 2014 04:19 PM
I understand and get you. But haven't you made threads about this guy already? Let him contact you. People in general are not interested in people who come across as desperate or anxious. He'll call you, and if he doesn't I still wouldn't call. Guys always come around when they're really interested  I hope you know I wasn't trying to be a jerk, just being honest. IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 2903
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted August 09, 2014 04:21 PM
I've always played by one rule - be myself (yourself).
If you want to call, call.
If he runs for the hills, well.. Oh well then. If you don't want to, don't. Idk... I guess I personally just get annoyed with these "dating strategies".
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DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 2903
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted August 09, 2014 04:22 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Barbiegirl19:
Guys always come around when they're really interested
The only other thing, based on the other threads.
Make some time for just him. That seems to be what he wants.
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confused_libra
Knowflake Posts: 111
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 09, 2014 04:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
The only other thing, based on the other threads.
Make some time for just him. That seems to be what he wants.
So you're saying I shouldn't sit around and wait for him and instead just contact him myself? lol thank you IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 2903
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted August 09, 2014 04:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
So you're saying I shouldn't sit around and wait for him and instead just contact him myself? lol thank you
Well not specifically.
But it seems like it's driving you nuts not to. IP: Logged |
confused_libra
Knowflake Posts: 111
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 09, 2014 04:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
Well not specifically.
But it seems like it's driving you nuts not to.
haha maybe it is a little bit.. Just my pride is in the way, which is stupid, and shouldn't have any place in my life if I want real relationships... IP: Logged |
bansheequeen
Knowflake Posts: 463
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 09, 2014 04:47 PM
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
I've always played by one rule - be myself (yourself).
If you want to call, call.
If he runs for the hills, well.. Oh well then. If you don't want to, don't. Idk... I guess I personally just get annoyed with these "dating strategies".
This is how I look at it, no matter what the astrology says. I'm always gonna be real and gonna be me, if someone doesn't like it, then good for them and good for me. I can find someone that likes the way I am. That being said, I like people that are real with me and won't play games. Life's too short to play silly dating games! If you want to talk to him that bad, talk to him. If that scares him away... Do you really want to be with a guy that gets scared away by how much you like him? I think it's cause you're a libra and you want to work around other people instead of paying attention to your own wants and needs. But think about it this way, you can't be happy if you ignore yourself. It's not about who has the power it's really just figuring out if he's worth your energy or not... IP: Logged |
confused_libra
Knowflake Posts: 111
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 09, 2014 04:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by bansheequeen:
This is how I look at it, no matter what the astrology says. I'm always gonna be real and gonna be me, if someone doesn't like it, then good for them and good for me. I can find someone that likes the way I am. That being said, I like people that are real with me and won't play games. Life's too short to play silly dating games!If you want to talk to him that bad, talk to him. If that scares him away... Do you really want to be with a guy that gets scared away by how much you like him? I think it's cause you're a libra and you want to work around other people instead of paying attention to your own wants and needs. But think about it this way, you can't be happy if you ignore yourself. It's not about who has the power it's really just figuring out if he's worth your energy or not...
Thank you! I totally agree. I guess I needed someone to validate this for me? I just don't want to get hurt by him again but I need to just buck up and take control of this situation. And you're right if he's turned off by it then that's his problem and I'll get over it.
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starmoon
Knowflake Posts: 1309
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 09, 2014 04:58 PM
as long as you said yes to his initial invitation you've done enough. calling/texting would be too eager. IP: Logged |
confused_libra
Knowflake Posts: 111
From:
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted August 09, 2014 05:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by starmoon:
as long as you said yes to his initial invitation you've done enough. calling/texting would be too eager.
would it though? I mean why are guys expected to do all the work?
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bansheequeen
Knowflake Posts: 463
From: Beachville, USA
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 09, 2014 05:24 PM
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
Thank you! I totally agree. I guess I needed someone to validate this for me? I just don't want to get hurt by him again but I need to just buck up and take control of this situation. And you're right if he's turned off by it then that's his problem and I'll get over it.
Yeah. You'll get hurt. But you'll also feel much better when you're free of him. And who knows, he just might come to his senses. IP: Logged |
sunflower-moon
Knowflake Posts: 207
From:
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted August 09, 2014 06:25 PM
You could always call or text him and just ask if he was still wanting to go out because a friend (I'd probably say a girl friend just so he wouldn't think it was another romantic interest) wanted to do something but you wanted to check with him first lol.IP: Logged |
babybull82
Knowflake Posts: 317
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 09, 2014 06:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
would it though? I mean why are guys expected to do all the work?
Some men like to earn the things they want ..not just have it handed to them.. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9792
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 10, 2014 04:53 AM
Text/call him. As an Aqua myself I appreciate women who will meet me halfway. I hate doing all of the heavy lifting. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9792
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 10, 2014 04:58 AM
quote:
Originally posted by babybull82:
Some men like to earn the things they want ..not just have it handed to them..
Shouldn't that also apply to women too? IP: Logged |
starmoon
Knowflake Posts: 1309
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 10, 2014 12:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by confused_libra:
would it though? I mean why are guys expected to do all the work?
well, she said yes, so her job is done. men don't need a woman to ask them out and call them and remind them to set up dates, they are completely capable of doing that. and especially when they like a woman. the way you start off something is the way it will continue. if she does the work in the beginning she'll be doing it all the time, and we'll get another post when she comes back saying he doesn't like her. exercise a bit of patience and you'll know he likes you. super simple.
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starmoon
Knowflake Posts: 1309
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 10, 2014 12:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by aquaguy91:
Text/call him. As an Aqua myself I appreciate women who will meet me halfway. I hate doing all of the heavy lifting.
aka i will not be a real man and treat you like a lady. you're not getting romanced. sounds ideal. IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 2903
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted August 10, 2014 01:29 PM
Idk.... Things like this rub me wrong. Meaning these games/rules. Maybe you're a "go-getter", more assertive/aggressive. But play the passive part early on. Then you're not REALLY the kind person that they think you are. When things get more comfortable then you start speaking your mind and disagreeing more strongly and stubbornly. As an example. Idk... Maybe I'm crazy.
I think all of those little things add up and matter. I like to know exactly what I'm getting and I like to let them know exactly what they are getting from day one all the way up to living together, etc. Meaning, stop overthinking it. Take it from the master of living in your head, don't live so much in your head, act.
If you want to call, call. What you're doing now (not calling/texting) is CLEARLY weighing heavily on you and I think you really want to. Before barbie moved here we told each other about any and every dirty little habit. We didn't try to "sell" ourselves at all
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aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9792
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 10, 2014 10:22 PM
quote:
Originally posted by starmoon:
aka i will not be a real man and treat you like a lady. you're not getting romanced. sounds ideal.
Whaaaaa? Ok..... I'm just saying it would be nice if more women started pulling their own weight in the dating/courtship phase. And I don't see why a girl calling a guy or reaching out to him in some other way is seen as such an issue for most people. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Moderator Posts: 8974
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted August 10, 2014 10:29 PM
Waiting for someone to call is never a good thing, ime.lack of communication
lack of clarity
lack of serious interest (?) It's such a pain in the butt. Having to wonder what the other wants, expects, thinks, feels, etc. And yet it's such a common thing. Quite sad. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91
Moderator Posts: 9792
From: tennessee
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted August 10, 2014 10:39 PM
As DF said the rules annoy the crap out of me. A guy is expected to call "if he is interested" and if he doesn't he is obviously not worth a girls time. Do people ever stop to think that maybe a guy might want a girl to call him sometimes? I know I do... If i'm putting in all the effort to contact a girl I get irritated really quick and I drop her. It makes me feel like she doesn't care if she talks to me/sees me or not and I'm not going to invest time and money into someone who acts like that.IP: Logged |
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