posted August 11, 2014 03:45 PM            

I'm not good looking enough to invite much attention, but still have had teachers stare me down...had a priest seem "interested" when I was young...some more weird stuff like that.

All I can say is, for the most part it never went beyond creepy staring, because I've always gone to great lengths to avoid people if I don't like how they look at me. I'm really sensitive to vibes. Especially since I've become an adult and have more freedom to leave a place at will, this doesn't happen anymore.

posted August 11, 2014 05:14 PM            

This is why it is very important to discriminate who you share your psychic energy with, and when to 'close off' mentally. So-called 'friends' can do this, old, gross men can do this to you, players and sociopaths can do this to you because they want to latch on like leeches and abuse the kindness in your heart by either treating you like a shrink, being co-dependent on you, abusing you [rare but it can happen with this, the abuse is emotional], or making strange sexual/romantic advances that they no YOU won't freak out about, when anyone else typically would. Because you have an open mind and open heart, bad people will, unfortunately, try to abuse your non-discriminatory way of seeing the world and others and cross some serious lines in the process...all while you, gentle inside, will not be able to immediately shut them down.

But if you can sense, since Mars-Neptune is typically psychic, that they are overstepping series boundaries, what would the harm be in shutting them down and asserting yourself? I feel that innately, the resistance to being assertive, aggressive even, comes from the deep desire to be loved and to also love everyone because of some deficiency due to early relationships, a bad home life, a traumatic first romantic experience, etc. You KNOW how badly it feels to be hurt - so God forbid you make anyone, even a disgusting or immoral person, feel the same. This is just one theory...do you feel that this is your problem? It's certainly been mine.

It is CRUCIAL to learn how to discriminate about who you are dealing with from the get-go, and to realize that not everyone deserves your empathy! You have to think: 'Wow, this person is not good inside and deserves to feel guilty about the BAD thing he/she is trying to do to me. Standing up for myself is not being 'cruel' and giving him/her a psychic wound. I'm taking justice for myself before I let him/her take my power away.' Because, more often than not, Mars-Neptune surrenders its power to someone else. By not asserting yourself, you are giving creepy people like this man more power over you.

This reasoning has helped me over time. I don't let people I date or friends I make overstep boundaries anymore. [More often than the issue with men and women trying to sexually or romantically take advantage of me, I've had friends try to use me and make me their shrink, and get me involved with all kinds of bad things]. At the end of the day, I'm Plutonian. I want to survive. I want to be the best person I can be. And if someone is trying to weigh me down or hurt me, I HAVE to stand up for myself first, even if it will hurt him/her. Because if this person is trying to use or hurt someone else, then maybe he/she will benefit from someone being assertive and taking a stand against his/her twisted actions. He/she will be able to, perhaps, evaluate him/herself or at the least, feel an appropriate sense of guilt.

posted August 11, 2014 09:09 PM            

quote:

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What is it about us that makes men think its "okey" to show that side of them to us?

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The fact that you put up with it!

But it's not just the Mars/Neptune to blame.
It's conditioning. So many young women make this mistake.
There was a thread a while ago.. where someone was being hassled by different men at work - and she didn't know how to get rid of them. It's a similar sort of thing. She didn't have Mars/Neptune aspects.
And there was another thread in Sweet Peas about a girl who got into a guy's car and came very close to being abused. I don't think she had Mars/Neptune either. I'm not sure.

I agree with sweet-scorpion. You have to set healthy boundaries and be a lot more assertive. The minute a person who seems shady hits on you - it is OK to be extremely cold.. to *not* engage in any conversation or even be polite towards them and basically walk away/ignore them.

If they persist (as your teacher did).. It is perfectly OK for you to say:

I AM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU. THIS IS HARASSMENT. PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

And say it loud and clear ^ Embarrass them in a public area.
Don't feel bad about it at all.. because it's their fault that they put themselves in that position - and you are simply defending yourself.

Some men *push*. They don't understand they are not wanted.. so they keep pushing, specially if they think you are weak/submissive and will give in. So you have to be MUCH harsher with someone like that.

posted August 11, 2014 10:17 PM            

I understand the attracting someone who basically pretends to be something in public but with me a totally different person.

Prime example is my ex who I had two kids with. We were together for 6 almost 7 yrs and those yrs were hell. Fighting, cursing, destroying each other. I'd always wondered why he treated me like crap but would treat a stranger who he barely knows like gold.

posted August 11, 2014 11:35 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dreaminess:
Oh my gosh sweet-scorpion you are so insightful and helpful its almost like you know me without knowing me. I saw myself in alot of what you wrote, the part about "so called friends" is very very true.They come running to me when they have problems and i get this feeling their too lazy to fix it themselves so they expect me to give/think out all the answers to all their problems even people i know but are not so close with do this to me.I have heard i care too much about people, even strangers i i dont know and dosen`t even know i exist i care for.If i hear about a strangers tragic story like death on the news,facebook or wherever i hear it from i will start googling that person up,searching for that person on facebook searching up their family members(i know it sounds stalkerish and it probably is) but i do this bc i want to see how they are doing i dont write any msg or anything to them i just want to see how they are doing in silent and i never understood why i do this but i think you just explained that to me.A friend of mine told another ex friend of mine behind my back about how much she loves talking to me bc i am so engaged in a conversation, like she really feels that i hear her out.A few times i have even gotten thrown at me if i am considering becoming a psychologist bc of something i say to them.I also have sun square neptune and moon opposite neptune.

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I'm glad I could reach out to you and perhaps make you feel a bit less frustrated in your confusion about how this aspect functions. I've had plenty of issues with being too empathetic with strangers. I have taken a homeless person into my own house once and although nothing happened adversely to me, it was not a very smart thing to do. Being too giving, too trusting, not assertive of your own needs, is NOT going to make a positive difference in the world at the end of the day, and this is a lesson that someone with this aspect must learn, and usually the hard way. [After all, they're called 'hard' aspects for a reason, right?]

It's excellent that you are so kind and caring by nature. But it's better to be constructive about how you harness and utilize your empathy vs. spending your energies on people who may not need your help or who may abuse it. Avoid taking on the 'rescuer' role also as a means to seek validation or make your own issues seem less terrible. It's another dark side to this aspect. You have to search deep within yourself and examine your true intentions when you help someone else. If your intentions aren't really pure, you should avoid extending a hand since it can incur bad karma. I think helping at animal and homeless shelters, for example, is an excellent expression of this aspect. And do so when you feel you are at ease with yourself and have your life together. Don't take on the 'rescuer/empath' role in order to avoid dealing with feelings of inner unhappiness or external circumstances you feel powerless to. I've also encountered this issue. Not sure if you have, but it's good to examine your inner and outer environment to determine if this is true or not. I feel best when I volunteer and it's purely out of love for the universe and to better the world.

posted August 12, 2014 01:31 AM            

I have never had such issues that you described with guys. I have noticed that guys who I turned down tend to become slightly obsessed with me though. Nothing deceptive or trying to lure me into doing shady things. I am too cautious to let than happen, that's for sure. I basically have an inbuilt antenna for BS.

posted August 12, 2014 03:41 AM            

I get guys with issues too; lately guys who are emotional wrecks. I can't help it. They're engaging mentally (it's in Gemini, no less.) and I get sucked in. But thankfully I'm an Aries through and through and I've learned not to get my hopes up too soon and to just back out. Do they ever come back or shape up? No. They're weak.