posted August 28, 2014 07:15 AM            

I lost my grandfather. Quite a shock.

Sudden tearing down of 'structures' that I have known throughout my life. So it necessitated a re-structuring, the beginning of something new, right from scratch.

I was made an offer that I never thought I would get.

All the above were sudden, out of the blue kinda of scenario.

There has been re-assessment of my beliefs, facing down my own shortcomings and my obsessive tendencies...well a fun ride..

In a nutshell and without having to go into too much detail, Pluto in capricorn has been one heck of a blast till now.

It is going direct in a few weeks after it squares my natal pluto at its tighest orb of 1 degree. I'm all geared up because I know there IS more to come.

SO, what about you? I was wondering how are YOU living the experiences of this generous planet so far? Or may be it doesn't affect you at all?

posted August 28, 2014 07:35 AM            

Natally I have scorp pluto sextiles asc/venus/saturn/neptune. Squares jupiter. Opposes mars. Semi-square sun.

So far it has certainly brought some changes. I got into a relationship, moved aboard (tr pluto conjunct sun exact, conjunct sag merc). Had a few miscarriages. The whole thing made me think a lot and kinda changed my outlook on life.

Then around the time when tr pluto conjunct natal uranus exact, we made the decision to move back to our home country (I have been away for nearly 10 years).

Two people who were quite closed to be passed away in freaky accidents.

Etc....

posted August 29, 2014 01:22 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by 12muddy:
I have a 12th house cap bunch (sun/venus/uranus/neptune/saturn) and cap asc. Tr cap pluto has been travelling through my 12th house and aspecting my 12th house planets.

Natally I have scorp pluto sextiles asc/venus/saturn/neptune. Squares jupiter. Opposes mars. Semi-square sun.

So far it has certainly brought some changes. I got into a relationship, moved aboard (tr pluto conjunct sun exact, conjunct sag merc). Had a few miscarriages. The whole thing made me think a lot and kinda changed my outlook on life.

Then around the time when tr pluto conjunct natal uranus exact, we made the decision to move back to our home country (I have been away for nearly 10 years).

Two people who were quite closed to be passed away in freaky accidents.

Etc....

Hmm I expect some major changes when tr pluto moves into my 1st house n conjuncts my natal saturn.

---

posted August 29, 2014 01:24 AM              

I don't know what to say honestly. I'm not sure.

Someone said it causes sleeping problems.

If so, that's true.

I would like to know what others think.

posted August 30, 2014 03:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MiaPluto:
It trines my natal sun which is in virgo.

I don't know what to say honestly. I'm not sure.

Someone said it causes sleeping problems.

If so, that's true.

I would like to know what others think.

---

I am having a heck of a time sleeping even though I am exhausted (getting up at 6am and not getting bed until 1am for the last 3 weeks due to work schedules).

It must have taken me two hours to fall asleep last night which is insane because I am so tired that I am dizzy and falling over myself starting around 8pm.

I'm tired now! Too bad I can't go to bed.

posted August 30, 2014 04:32 PM            

T-Pluto is in my 12th and it's been swell for therapy. It's been 3 years of that and I think I am finally "graduating" from it, sometime around New Year's. But during this bumpy ride I've made some pretty lousy decisions. Attempted suicide for one. A long line of failed relationships I never should have started. Alienation from family and friends. Remembering/reliving childhood abuses.. that was so hard on me.
I've cut ties with religion and also spirituality for the most part and publicly admitted I am an agnostic (combined with Saturn return in the 9th). I've overcome most of my fears, phobias and psychological restrictions about pretty much everything. I think I am a more authentic, self-reliant person now but it hasn't been a smooth ride. I've been very lonely during this time, it doesn't bother me most of the time but it gets to me on occasion.
Pluto has applied to, but hasn't yet squared my Aries Sun at 13*41. I wonder what that will bring because Sun doesn't rule any houses (Leo intercepts in my 7th). I anticipate it won't all be good but at last I believe I can handle whatever life throws at me.

posted August 31, 2014 12:32 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dancing Maenad:
Hi, Jessica! I am sorry to hear about your grandfather.

T-Pluto is in my 12th and it's been swell for therapy. It's been 3 years of that and I think I am finally "graduating" from it, sometime around New Year's. But during this bumpy ride I've made some pretty lousy decisions. Attempted suicide for one. A long line of failed relationships I never should have started. Alienation from family and friends. Remembering/reliving childhood abuses.. that was so hard on me.
I've cut ties with religion and also spirituality for the most part and publicly admitted I am an agnostic (combined with Saturn return in the 9th). I've overcome most of my fears, phobias and psychological restrictions about pretty much everything. I think I am a more authentic, self-reliant person now but it hasn't been a smooth ride. I've been very lonely during this time, it doesn't bother me most of the time but it gets to me on occasion.
Pluto has applied to, but hasn't yet squared my Aries Sun at 13*41. I wonder what that will bring because Sun doesn't rule any houses (Leo intercepts in my 7th). I anticipate it won't all be good but at last I believe I can handle whatever life throws at me.

---

Thank you for sharing. I appreciate it a lot.

I know it must be emotionally very trying to talk about it. I am sorry to hear that you attempted suicide.

posted August 31, 2014 12:54 PM            

I dunno, it feels like I am dying sometimes, feels like life is on the brink of crumbling down all around me, yet here I am standing and surviving another day.

posted August 31, 2014 06:13 PM            

I have Pluto square Ascendant, Sun, Mercury, Venus nataly...

I had trs Pluto conjunct Asc, sun and Mercury is about to be over.

I wrote my experiences with trs Pluto in several other treads...

Shortly, life forces you to go deep and it's so deep that it gets really dark...

Especialy with Pluto conjucnt Mercury, trying to keep sane requires a lot of strength..

posted September 01, 2014 01:07 AM            

Hang in there people. You do not have to talk about it in detail. Pluto-ish experiences can be too personal,and still raw to talk about.
You could just arrrrrrrrrrgggggghh about it like Plutosurvivor in this thread, no issues

@Faith,

posted October 16, 2014 10:17 PM            

quote:

---

I lost my grandfather. Quite a shock.

Sudden tearing down of 'structures' that I have known throughout my life. So it necessitated a re-structuring, the beginning of something new, right from scratch.

I was made an offer that I never thought I would get.

All the above were sudden, out of the blue kinda of scenario.

There has been re-assessment of my beliefs, facing down my own shortcomings and my obsessive tendencies...well a fun ride..

---

Jessica, change the first to grandmother and that has been exactly my experience! On one hand many exciting things have happened for me, but there has always been a cost. I have never felt so powerful and helpless at the same time.

Pluto trine Mars-> excellent for making life changes and getting things done

Pluto conj Saturn-> yuck, yuck, yuck! What is great is that it broke down the things (Saturn) that were longer working for me. Bad- having to deal with many setbacks.

posted October 18, 2014 01:17 PM            

12th house stellium at 10-13 Cap: Sun, Mercury, Venus & Mars
8th house Moon at 2 Libra

Pluto has been in my 12th house for so long now that I can't imagine how it felt before this anymore.

So, first my Moon was squared off by Pluto. I don't know how that should've made me feel because I wasn't too aware of how things in my life went, I was just 15 at the time. My grandmother passed away that year.

Then it moved to my stellium. By this time, I broke up with a guy I really loved due to a lot of pressure I felt externally and internally as well and soon after started dating someone else. I eventually had to break it off with the second guy as well, even though we had something really great.

My parents also split in this period, and my dad's siblings continue to bother my mom and I.

Apart from that, I've been very lonely, unable to make new friends, and unable to hold onto old ones. I don't feel like socializing, and when I'm forced to, I get even more upset. Even alone time has stopped helping me out as much as it used to before.

It's very difficult to go day after day. Sleep hardly comes by, and when it does, you have to be up and face the world. If it's possible, I've become even more quiet than I used to be earlier.

It's difficult to remember that life is a gift. It's very bleak at the moment. Maybe the only saving grace is like I like learning a lot of new things, so I keep myself busy learning something when I get lonely. But it's not always enough.

Also, I understand people better, I feel able to see where a person is really coming from, instead of blindly passing judgments. And I'm able to feel no pain in being a social oddity at times.

</rant>

Sorry if this went on for too long like a big rant! I initially intended to keep it very short but I guess it turned out to be a self-evaluation.

posted October 18, 2014 08:16 PM            

Shortly after that, just after Saturn entered Scorpio, my birth family started distancing themselves. My birth parents are extremely dysfunctional.

In Jane 2013, they completely stormed out of my life and I started to feel better about myself. That the very toxic people left my life.

I started finding pieces of my buried inner self come unearthed, after years of trauma. Recognizing my own sexual identity, reinventing myself by informally changing my birth name in August 2013.

Rediscovering the happy parts in my childhood and having so many loving memories of my 'adoptive' mom and dad come back to me. Remembering all the fun things I loved to do and the fun things I had as a kid. Listening to my parents' music helped me feel closer to them in heaven.

I have started collecting the things that I had at home when I was young. Something that my cruel birth mother tossed into the garbage, that had value to me.

Remembering the lessons of being a family and all the other traditional beliefs on what family is supposed to be. Counting my blessing and just seeing who has remained steadfast in my life. Those who value who I am.

Recently, I realized that I am much like my 'adoptive' mom. She was a stay at home mom that spent a lot of time at home or visiting friends. It seems like how my life is, is very much similar to how things were in their life.

They did not have a lot of money. They never went on fancy international trips. If they did go an visit, they would drive to visit out of town relatives for a few days.

There was alot of pain and rejection attached to the birth parents I had and their 'families'. After so many years, I was able to come to terms about the birth mother. I was a part of an experience, which was a person's worst decision in keeping a baby, when she was not ready to even be a parent (she was a young teen), and was not capable of being a parent. For some reason she kept me and the hellish life began.

After 40, years of having a hellish battle of being a parent to a child she deeply hated, she decided to walk away and move on with her life.

I don't think I was ever meant to be in her life or her family's lives. It just wasn't there. The deep consolation over the severe abuse and neglect is that they are no longer in my life to hurt me any more. I am free. I'm thinking, maybe she can finally be extremely happy with her life and the life she desperately wanted without me.

I find now, even being middle aged, that most of my family has died and I have no family left. (My adopted parents and their brothers/sisters etc). I miss having a family so much and to be able to visit. Yet the only 'family' I have is my boyfriend's family who lives 5000 kms away.

On another front, I can feel my self worth and self confidence grow, along with my intuition. I am beginning to trust myself more and more these days. But still need therapy to help overcome the impact of PTSD.

I am also discovering the things that I am good at and where my skill set is. My friends all say that I am an awesome photographer.

Sage