Author
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Topic: "One night Stand or More?"
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SoStellarOne Knowflake Posts: 42 From: Charleston,SC, US Registered: Feb 2012
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posted September 04, 2014 04:32 PM
Hello Everyone, I haven't been on here too often, but I think some of you remember me from my post about my Saturn Return in Libra and I came out during that time. Anyway, I need perspective on something. Do you think it's crazy for someone who've confessed being attracted to you 7 years ago and wanted a "one night stand" with you, but after you've rejected them 4 times the attraction still persists and they still want to have sex with you "one-time"? I ask because there's a Virgo male that I've met 9 years ago and we were friends eversince, but 2 years into knowing each other, he confessed that he was attracted to me the first day we met and that he wants to have sex with me. I got freaked out and cut him off temporarily. Mind you, I've cut him off then went back 4 times because I felt awful for turning him down, but everytime he begins to get turned on he starts by saying, "I hate to do this to you. . . but the fire is beginning to burn. . ." After the first time I turned him down and went back, he told me that he was crushed that I turned him down, but I'm thinking that if it was only a "one night stand" that you wanted, why are you hurt? Usually people go into these things with no emotional connection to the person they're having sex with, but he was acting like there was more than what he was admitting. Anyway, fast forward to the present day: He is still burning with this attraction and still wants to hook up. I think its crazy for someone to hold onto the notion of a one night stand! However, I cannot shake the feeling that there may be more to it than he's admitting. What do you think? IP: Logged |
PixieJane Moderator Posts: 5111 From: CA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted September 04, 2014 07:36 PM
I think he's being a guy who has compartmentalized emotions from lust and is trying to negotiate for what he can get. Sure, you give in, he'll try for more, but not because he loves you, but because you're available. He's not being honest, he's just trying to get laid and will take whatever he can get, however little or much that is. One thing you have to understand about many men is that just because they want to use you as a toy doesn't mean he dreams of carrying you away on his white horse (sure, some men are romantic that way, but he's obviously not one of them). So don't make the mistake he's making with you and assume his mind is working about the same way as yours does.Furthermore, he doesn't "hate" doing it to you, he hates that he hasn't made progress. If he had any respect for you he'd have stopped by now. There is no doubt in my mind he's saying this to many other women as well figuring sooner or later it will work (and I'm sure it does), and just because you don't know about it doesn't mean it's not happening. But in any case he obviously sees you as a nut to crack rather than a person and/or is immature with his feelings (at "best" he feels entitled to sex just because he wants it and thinks he needs to convince you that you pretty much owe it to him and that he'll leave you alone once he gets it--and he won't, btw, not because he's secretly in love with you but because you've just became one of the women he can manipulate and thus his respect for you will drop even lower). The guy has no respect for you and/or little self-control. If that appeals to you then by all means give in. Just don't fool yourself that you're going to be his wife someday, no matter how many extra helpings he comes back for. IP: Logged |
LucieLemonade Knowflake Posts: 966 From: Registered: Sep 2013
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posted September 05, 2014 06:36 AM
I agree with Pixie. He's being a "guy". Without knowing the whole story, it seems to me he is looking at you like a notch on his belt and the more you say no the more he wants that notch. In my opinion, you should tell him to get lost and it's never going to happen, even if you want to. I think it's bad for you emotionally and what he is doing is manipulative. Remember the song "You can't always get what you want". Well, clearly that's a lesson he needs to learn. Take care of YOU and never mind what someone else wants. I read this article yesterday that really made a point (to me, for sure). (I can't post the link as the F word is in the title. You can google the article it's called (the F word, literally) Yes or No on markmanson.net) If it's not a "Yes!" I want to be with this person and that person wants to be with me, then it's a "No".
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