posted September 06, 2014 08:17 PM            

Case in point: my mom is a Cancer Sun+ASC, Leo Moon+Mercury, Venus in Gemini, Mars in Taurus. She is obsessed with getting the approval of other people [and me] particularly through doing things for people or buying them gifts. Is Cancer similar to Libra where a Cancer emphasis leads to a desire for excessive validation or approval?

posted September 06, 2014 10:07 PM            

I don't find it easy to compromise. I certainly do compromise, but that's not the preferred option. When I do I may feel like I'm doing it to *please* the other person.

These little issues mostly rear their heads in my interaction with authority figures (teachers, bosses, parents) and with people who are close to me. I do ok in normal/casual social interactions.

posted September 06, 2014 11:34 PM            

While Libras exist who need constant validation 24/7, I've also known a Libra who visibly sneered at almost everybody, including me (though this was a Canadian from an upper middle class background who was trapped at a flop house in a bad part of Oakland so it's quite possible that the environment was more than his scales could handle and thus was at his worst rather than being how he normally was). I've also known a Libra who cut everyone off who warned her against a super controlling guy (though she went to extreme lengths for his approval, even getting rid of her beloved dog), though I figure that had more to do with all the Scorpio in her chart (and her Scorpio energy was somewhat destructive to everyone, including herself, so mix in with Scorpio loyalty to a loved one I can see why she got that way).

I certainly don't need constant approval. I do maintain a wide network of friends OL and IRL, and I don't see a point in alienating the neighbors who can make extra stress for me...though when a neighbor or such was determined to make my life difficult I found it liberating and sometimes even fun to return the favor (maybe it's the splash of Scorpio in my chart, though my Libra sees it as restoring harmony by discouraging their attempts to torment me, as soon as they leave me alone I return the favor, and being friendly isn't required to being peaceful & harmonious, at least not for me).

But attempting to be fair means compromises, and that includes for me as much as for others. And for those who just can't deal with that (either my standing up for myself while giving them a fair shake or feel uncomfortable with my so-called "divided loyalties" or other reasons) then I cut them out and generally don't even spare that much thought for them, they're just in the background and I don't worry about it. As strange as this idea is to some people I sometimes don't dislike or disrespect them, I just see us as incompatible and that's okay (at least as long as I have enough around that I am compatible with). Lots of people don't like me and I don't care (possibly it's my Sag stellium), at least as long as my scales remain relatively balanced for the most part and that there are plenty of people who do enjoy my presence for various reasons.

The point of this is that if you feel desperate for approval then there's more going on than your sun (I've got a Libra sun in a stellium, though on the Scorpio cusp). And you're quite right, desperation for approval is epidemic in our society so you'll see it almost everywhere. I have various theories on why this is (most of them sociological, though astrology is also a factor) but one thing I've noticed about myself is that I'm not tribal. That is to say I don't wrap my ego up around church, state, sports team, and the like so the tribal circuits are weak when compared to most other people and tribal circuits in the brain on the instinctual/subconscious level equate being shunned as well as those of "other tribes" as being dangerous, even deadly, and thus need constant validation and surrounding themselves by those they consider of their tribe (who thus like them rather than an enemy)...and I'm guessing that such instincts being weak in me is why I don't need constant validation. (I can throw in the sociological considerations and why I think I turned out different, if you like.)

posted September 07, 2014 12:58 AM            

I think that to me, being a part of family is important. Gives me the feeling that I "belong". It's somewhat a cultural thing. Family is considered the "root", the base of one's identity and the source of "life force".

For me, they're my strength and my sufferings. As I grew up I realized that sometimes it's not possible to be myself and earning my parents' acceptance. I don't go out of my way to please them (I do tolerate them a great deal however) but that doesn't stop me from feeling that little "pang" in my chest as I realize that my choices in life take me further and further from them.

There was a period of time when I detached from them and drifted around. During that time I learnt to build myself (1st house NN). It helped (I think) to not feel guilty of my choices, but yeah I still feel bad that I caused them disappointments. Filial piety.

posted September 07, 2014 02:35 AM              

The 7th house people need approval. The 10th house people are very goal oriented, and care about their social reputation a lot.

The 9th house people want to learn and know everything, and excel in everything they can including going different places where no one has been.

11th house people care a lot about their friend circles, and feel the need to be part of a group.

The 8th house person wants power and wants to know all the weak sides of people so he can have the power. It is a secretive house.

So the houses count a lot too.

So if someone is a people pleaser without Libra placements it's probably because they have 7th house planets and mostly the southern part of the chart populated (7th to 12th houses).

Also, look if they have dominant pisces or neptune since this makes people too self-sacrificing and lying to others in order to make them happy. They confuse others but not purposefully.

They are just very scared of people thinking they are rude or mean. But they don't necessarily ask for approval.

posted September 07, 2014 09:42 AM            

She has an Aquarius Sun conjunct Moon (funny, isn't it?). Her TOB is uncertain but I can tell you they might be conjunct MC. She might have Gemini rising conjunct Chiron and Ceres on the DSC plus Saturn conjunct DSC and Venus widely conjunct DSC from the 7th. Plus a Libra SN.

I'm quite the opposite and I even have a Libra Moon.