posted September 08, 2014 02:29 AM            

Scrolling through the report, I manage to locate the paragraph about my North Node and this is what it said:

"North Node in Aquarius"
You are extremely self-confident and optimistic about life. During many lifetimes, you have occupied a position of success in society, perhaps even a member of royalty. During this lifetime, you will learn to put aside your substantial ego and to consider the needs of the larger society of which you are a member. In order to achieve your greatest happiness, your actions must be motivated by a desire to bring about a humanitarian change rather than a desire to receive personal praise for your efforts."

...I mean...I want to an author. Someone's who recognized, in effect, by society as someone who's greatest skill is with the pen. Someone who brings joy to thousands of fans (no matter their age) with the world I create and the complex characters within them. Do I want my books to have subliminal messages that may or may not help change the world for a better place? Damn straight. But from a creative, imaginative standpoint...not some self-help or socio-global book. I can't stand what's going on the world - politically, environmentally, and economically; but I'm not the kind of person to sit behind a desk, taking calls, filing paperwork, and listening to people scream at me through phone while I jump through fifty-hoops created by red-tape. I'm an artist...and really, is it so wrong to be proud of what I accomplish? To have a career that can be successful enough that I can have the house of my dreams by the sea; to give my children the things and opportunities I never got to have (while whooping their ***** so they know to be grateful), to visit countries around the world and learn more about cultures (to educate myself)? And yeah, if I made millions off of writing books, your damn right I would build that large house...but that doesn't mean I would turn my back on humanity. If anything, I would try to do something like Angelina Jolie. No, not adopting fifty-plus kids, but I would love to go to different countries and help out refugees. Start charity organizations that people volunteer for, not pay for; unless they want to donate. Perhaps start an education reformation or sit on global peace meetings to throw in my two cents (because our so-called leaders don't seem to be doing a whole lot of...leading).

Does this in any way sound like I'm slipping into my South Node? Like I'm regressing back into my "Leo phase?"

It also briefly touched on how my North Node is in my 10th House - aka, my Midheaven. Though both my North Node and Midheaven do not in any way have any sort of connection to one another.

"North Node in Tenth House"
At times you feel like retreating from society to your safe and secure home. But you are destined to share your talents and inspiration with others through your career. This will be your greatest source of recognition. A tendency to be overly attached to your childhood and past, to be dependent on others and avoid accepting responsibility for your life, to fear rejection to an extreme thereby missing opportunities, and to be overly focused on emotional problems are some of the issues this position suggests. With this position, you need to take charge of your life and accept responsibility for your actions. You may too easily blame your past or focus on your insecurities and emotional difficulties instead of moving forward and learning to depend on yourself. You want to feel secure more than anything, but security can only come once you let go of your dependencies and carve out a life that reflects a true feeling of responsibility to yourself as well as to others. You are more aware of your emotions than most people, but in order to grow, you must learn to strike a balance between sensitivity and responsibility. You cannot use your sensitivity as a crutch, although you may spend the first half of your life doing so!

...

......

You know, I hate it that the crappy-astrology website with the insightful report nails you on the head. 'Cause that 10th house bit is me to a T. My only problem is I don't know how to start doing any of that - take charge, not be dependent on my mother (she's my best friend and the one who is keeping a roof over my head presently because I can't afford a car, much less an apartment, presently (damn student loans)), and how to stop the fear of being rejected or feeling like a failure make me give up on things that I know I would jump at in a heartbeat if I wasn't my own worst enemy. I know I can be too sensitive and that I do need to be tougher, braver, less hard on myself, and more self-confident...and more responsible...but I don't know how. I have dreams that feel like they're just so impossible or unreal and I "spoil it" for myself...I tear it to shreds before I even start taking the first step towards something that can get me out of this ****** -period of my life.

Of course it doesn't help my transiting North Node trines my Natal Moon and Natal Jupiter while Squaring my Natal Mars. *sigh*

posted September 09, 2014 10:38 AM            

I think the focus is more outside from home and family.....where the people out there in the world becomes our 'family'. Maybe the focus is through leadership and helping others in various ways. An artist uses a medium to express themselves or to send a message that would inspire and help others.

I had a nightmarish upbringing and until middle age. I was stuck until, I chose to let go of those who hurt me and decided to live my own path. Personal responsibility can come from setting healthy boundaries and watching or caring for yourself more. It comes through your choices and being true to oneself.

Aquarius is a sign of independence and being an authentic individual. Where one can be truly who they are and not conform to the constraints of societal expectation of who one 'should' be.

Set goals with your artistic medium. What do how want to say to the world? What message do you have to inspire and lead others?

I'm not sure if this makes sense to you.