posted October 01, 2014 09:40 PM            

I'll start by asking my question and then go on to explain my story/predicament as fully as I can.

QUESTION: Is this Scorpio potentially interested in me, as more than a friend?
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I'm an Aqua. My intuition has always been right. With this it's less clear as Scorpio can give off confusing signals, what with their testing etc. I am a guy who likes other guys.

I first met him in High School. We had went to the same middle school but never seemed to cross eachother's paths. We ended up speaking a few times at the gates before school started. We were both quiet in a way but for years after this I would recall, every now and then, that look in his eyes. At school and post school, I never thought of him romantically. I would wonder why I remembered his eyes looking at me in that intense way. Truth is I sometimes have a similar look. Maybe I did back then too. We were roughly in the same circle.

About three years ago he randomly (really cant remember if the friend request or message came first) got in contact over Facebook. Quite a bit of texting followed soon after. A real "getting to know you" back and forth rather than an old school mates type of banter. I mean we were only ever casual acquaintances at school, but this seemed to make sense.

At one point or another he stopped replying. At another after obviously he had began responding again, he invited me to a small get-together. He lived close to the afore-mentioned school in a slightly different neighbourhood. It was getting kind of late. He was meant to walk down a certain road to meet me and didn't. He in fact said he couldn't see me. Well instead of wasting time and then having to walk home, I got the next bus back home. Naturally, there was no explanation/response as to why he failed to meet. I know Scorpios can focus very intensely on a specific thing and he may have just gotten distracted and then lied, maybe even whilst rushing to leave the house, but I didn't know any star sign/trait info back then, though I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The next thing that happened... He invited me to his birthday night out, failed to meet and conveniently text to say there'd been a problem. If these were tests they seem a bit extreme, no? After that, naturally it didn't progress.

After a couple of years, I recently messaged him asking if he was good. He knew I was into him before and I didn't really try to hide it. He probably realised, and realised I needed to mature a bit too. I don't know if he is interested, but I feel there is a very real chance that he is, and naturally I dont want it to remain unfinished business, whatever the outcome.

This time when he has asked what I've been upto I feel he appreciate the detail and openness of my answers. I've changed and learned a lot about myself in the past couple of years and I can tell he has too.

At the beginning of the recent message exchange, he was reluctant to tell me how he has injured himself, and I haven't asked since.
However he has since asked me for advice on dealing with depression. Maybe in a way this is also a test. But now that I'm not desperately seeking attention from him, I will be coming across as objective. Though I do in fact want his attention, I'm now at a place where I know relationships can be more trouble than they're worth, and I could have a somewhat worry-free life all by myself haha.

But I believe he has examined my responses and knows I'm being genuine, not that that will combat that suspicious nature.

He now knows I wont chase him (I didn't speak to him for a couple of years after all), that I can converse on his level, that I wont just tell him what I think he wants to hear and that if he's going to be vague, I can be just as much so.

I told him about a week ago that it's difficult to tell if he is naturally inclined to not be present, or if he just doesn't want me attempting conversation. (I changed the wording there because I feel shady discussing this private exchange). He seemed to think this was nonsense to an extent and seems to have gotten to a point where he is genuinely developing a real trust in me.

In what I can only translate into a test, he has now told me that he's going to need my help eventually, and then I will have what it is I need, whether I will know it or not. He has also said he'll trust me, because he's not putting up a front with me as he does with others.Though I cant decipher whether he means he already trusts me or will when I help him.

posted October 01, 2014 10:48 PM            

As a general rule, Scorpios (however evolved or immature) do like you to be interested enough to ask about their fears, injuries, etc...just don't violate their privacy to find out. Even if they don't tell you they still tend to appreciate that you cared enough to ask.

posted October 02, 2014 02:23 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ChuckO:
maybe I'm just an idiot.

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First off, you're not an idiot. Don't let any situation or person make you believe otherwise.

Pluto (scorpio) can have that effect. It's hard to know without any chart or synastry, but having been on both ends of the scorpionic relationship (I have a scorp moon conj. pluto and pluto square venus, among other things) I -think- I can remember feeling that way.

He might be interested in you. But the question should be, are you really willing to put up with this? Can you imagine yourself in a relationship with somebody who constantly tests you, flakes out whenever they figure they'll let you linger for the hell of it? What about the way you're feeling right now? Do you want to keep feeling that way?
I remember feeling really confused over someone, for YEARS before we got in a relationship (it's over now).. Unless you want and are ready for a very intense, transforming (for better maybe, but most likely, for worse) relationship, it's not worth it...
Don't forget your own needs in all the intensity you get from his gaze or his messages.
I believe that your feeling like an idiot is caused by this too. He doesn't even have to talk to you and it's still controlling how you feel...

That being said, if you're strong, mature and have your own baggage that you've dealt with and learned from enough to help him through depression, without him even telling you what's going on, then mayyybego for it... Well, wait for him... and then go for it when he decides it's time for you to go for it?
Idunno, seems like you'd lose a lot of power and control in all this. And that's not really a healthy dynamic :/

posted October 02, 2014 06:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ifaf:
First off, you're not an idiot. Don't let any situation or person make you believe otherwise.

Pluto (scorpio) can have that effect. It's hard to know without any chart or synastry, but having been on both ends of the scorpionic relationship (I have a scorp moon conj. pluto and pluto square venus, among other things) I -think- I can remember feeling that way.

He might be interested in you. But the question should be, are you really willing to put up with this? Can you imagine yourself in a relationship with somebody who constantly tests you, flakes out whenever they figure they'll let you linger for the hell of it? What about the way you're feeling right now? Do you want to keep feeling that way?
I remember feeling really confused over someone, for YEARS before we got in a relationship (it's over now).. Unless you want and are ready for a very intense, transforming (for better maybe, but most likely, for worse) relationship, it's not worth it...
Don't forget your own needs in all the intensity you get from his gaze or his messages.
I believe that your feeling like an idiot is caused by this too. He doesn't even have to talk to you and it's still controlling how you feel...

That being said, if you're strong, mature and have your own baggage that you've dealt with and learned from enough to help him through depression, without him even telling you what's going on, then [b]mayyybego for it... Well, wait for him... and then go for it when he decides it's time for you to go for it?
Idunno, seems like you'd lose a lot of power and control in all this. And that's not really a healthy dynamic :/

I know you're not going to care if you decide to go for it anyway, and I don't know sh** anyway, so, just remember to take care of yourself, too.[/B]

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Thank you. I know deep down I'm not an idiot. It is the vagueness in conversation style and past failings to show up that are testing me, but I have a knack for being the dark horse in that if he has been playing with me mentally, I will come out of it stronger. Tbh tests wouldnt bother me as I'm genuine and I do appreciate my alone time so them suddenly withdrawing wouldn't be an issue. It's the not knowing that has been stressful/emotionally unpredictable for me.

posted October 02, 2014 12:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Vajra:
Haha, I absolutely second this! In fact I always used to joke that Scorp men should come with a Tarot deck attached, complete with how-to-use instructions, because their S.O. will need it so very dearly…

Obviously this is not necessarily true of all Scorps, but the ones I have met have been less than open, and my personal guess is they are often just as much at a loss as everyone else to explain what exactly they are feeling.

After many puzzling interactions on the topic of his emotions, my Scorpio man has at one point been able to give me one clear and helpful instruction: "I need YOU to be the emotionally stable one." That at last I understood. Since then, I've decided to stop indulging in this guessing game, do not react too strongly to his dark moods, leave him alone until he is ready to communicate again, and generally assume all is well between us unless he tells me otherwise. Has worked fine so far!

I think if a Scorp is truly interested in someone, they will be unequivocal about their interest. That at least has been my experience with them. If they seem lukewarm, it's likely they only see the other person as a back-up option, unfortunately. In that case I would pass.

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posted October 02, 2014 12:07 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Vajra:

After many puzzling interactions on the topic of his emotions, my Scorpio man has at one point been able to give me one clear and helpful instruction: "I need YOU to be the emotionally stable one." That at last I understood. Since then, I've decided to stop indulging in this guessing game, do not react too strongly to his dark moods, leave him alone until he is ready to communicate again, and generally assume all is well between us unless he tells me otherwise. Has worked fine so far!

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Is that why Taurus placements are so appealing to these folks?

I know that Taurus-despite everyone thinking that they are these meek,mild people- can entertain DRAMA.

This is actually quite a profound statement for Scorpio to admit.Because they,like Aries,can definitely throw their toys out of the cot.

I know that I like calmness and an even temperament in others. But it also frustrates me if I feel that they seem "indifferent" to my emotions. There is a fine line.

posted October 02, 2014 12:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Is that why Taurus placements are so appealing to these folks?

I know that Taurus-despite everyone thinking that they are these meek,mild people- can entertain DRAMA.

This is actually quite a profound statement for Scorpio to admit.Because they,like Aries,can definitely throw their toys out of the cot.

I know that I like calmness and an even temperament in others. But it also frustrates me if I feel that they seem "indifferent" to my emotions. There is a fine line.

I am not a Scorpio Sun, but Scorpio Venus. Libra/Taurus Sun people are so appealing to me it's ridiculous.

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posted October 02, 2014 12:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:

I know that I like calmness and an even temperament in others. But it also frustrates me if I feel that they seem "indifferent" to my emotions. There is a fine line.

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My thoughts exactly with my SO having a Taurus Moon. I, like Vajra's SO, appreciate that he can remain calm and not delve into the emotional depths my Scorpio Moon can go, but there is a fine line between him being calm and being indifferent to where I sense he just doesn't care about what I'm feeling. Him having a Cancer Sun though I doubt that is the case :P

I agree having some Scorpionic influence that feelings for someone are either black or white and there is no in between. I've never been one to "date" - if I like you, you'll definitely know. If I don't, you're off my list and into the friend zone (if you even make it there).

It's too hard to spread my attention around. Intense focus is the name of the game.

posted October 02, 2014 12:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ChuckO:
I think I will have my answer soon, whether it's by ignorance of my message or not. The thing is I'm just fine being the stable one, when I know there's actually something to be stable about haha. Doesn't look like there is, and if indeed nothing happens here, maybe I'll avoid the Scorpio man in future haha.

I still have no clue how it will pan out, but I'm prepared after everyones kind truths to walk away. Today has been very important for calming my mind. I know this Scorpio was meant to come into my life for whatever reason, and maybe it's just to teach me not to invest in someone so readily.

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That's a wonderful way to think about it, whatever the outcome People do come into our lives for a reason, to teach us lessons or to draw out our worst fears and insecurities so we can try to heal them. You seem like a very nice person. I'm sure things will turn out well for you

On a side note, don't paint all Scorpios with the same brush. Every sign has their negative traits and with Scorpios it is almost refreshing in some backwards way to know where you stand with them. You know if they care about you, they will be fiercely loyal to you and care about you deeply. The depth of their feeling is unbelievable, even if they keep it hidden.

posted October 02, 2014 01:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by margym0o:
That's a wonderful way to think about it, whatever the outcome :) People do come into our lives for a reason, to teach us lessons or to draw out our worst fears and insecurities so we can try to heal them. You seem like a very nice person. I'm sure things will turn out well for you :)

On a side note, don't paint all Scorpios with the same brush. Every sign has their negative traits and with Scorpios it is almost refreshing in some backwards way to know where you stand with them. You know if they care about you, they will be fiercely loyal to you and care about you deeply. The depth of their feeling is unbelievable, even if they keep it hidden.

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I've certainly had the fact set in stone that I need to know where I stand haha. This is the main thing with me. I also dont like to feel vulnerable and having contact in a grey area rather than it being told how it is just rubs me up the wrong way and makes me anxious. (I do try) so thank you for saying I seem nice. You do also :P I shall have to make things turn out well haha.

posted October 02, 2014 01:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by NeptunianSag:
Trying to understand a Scorpio mans feelings/intentions is like trying to find the lost city of atlantis.

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posted October 02, 2014 03:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by NeptunianSag:
Trying to understand a Scorpio mans feelings/intentions is like trying to find the lost city of atlantis.

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I think I understand his actions. I feel them, too.
...Just can't explain them to others.
We're awful

I think Vajra is spot-on about everything.

Aries23 too, "I know that I like calmness and an even temperament in others. But it also frustrates me if I feel that they seem "indifferent" to my emotions. There is a fine line."

And I don't "date" either.. I'm either with you or without you.