posted October 06, 2014 11:40 PM            

Excuse me while I riff on Pluto for a bit. I've been thinking about it a lot lately and and I'd like to hear other people's experiences, particularly those with a lot of it in their charts.

All of my planets are related via house or aspect to Pluto:

Sun - 8th house
Moon - quincunx Pluto (orb 2 degrees)
Mercury- 8th house
Venus - conj Pluto (orb <1 degree) in Scorpio, no less
Mars - trine Pluto (orb 1 degree)
Jupiter - trine Pluto (orb 6 degrees)
Saturn - 8th house
Uranus - 8th house
Neptune - sextile Pluto (orb 4 degrees)
Pluto - is Pluto

Here's my chart:
http://www.astro.com/tmpd/c2wcfilejC0B4W-u1296440171/astro_w2at_01_jeremy_h.11091.55822.gif?55970

In my life this has manifested primarily in an deep and intense emotional and philosophical style. I feel compelled to uncover every hidden facet of my inner self and attempt to pull back the veil of the universe to find out what's really going on underneath. I do however have an abundance of Sag planets and an Aries moon and Asc, allowing me to generally hide this intensity from people and affect an easygoing nature.

By far the strongest aspect that I feel is my near exact Scorpio Venus/Pluto conj in the 7th house (trine Mars in Pisces). This aspect causes me no end of trouble, being too emotionally invested and possessive to pursue casual flings (much the chagrin of all that Sag) yet having a constant burning desire for love and sex and relationship. I've been in horrendous love triangles before which ended terribly, been the betrayer and betrayed, been frustrated more times than I can count, fallen completely and utterly in love and been broken over it, and felt the bottomless depths of a seemingly endless loneliness.

Pluto pain is like an ultimate despair. It feels like you're dying via your emotions. The world out there becomes meaningless, it gets all the color sucked out of it, it becomes like a lifeless cold machine churning out grey chunks of dead matter for all time. But YOU still feel, you feel too much, you feel everything that you've lost and everything the world can't provide you with. You ask 'why me' and receive silence as answer. You eventually may reach the other side of the despair, but part of Pluto's deal is that you're not allowed to know that. You are forced to suffer; no inner rebirth can come without an inner death first.

Generally I think people feel this during Pluto transits (he just squared my moon for the last two years, and It was definitely the most gruelling time of my life...)

Personally, the outlet I have for all this craziness is my music, being a frontman and songwriter for my own band. My musical style is intense, cathartic and generally dramatic rock music (Sag/Scorpio there again).

There is definitely a feeling of fatedness in life that comes with Pluto, like being given the keys to an invisible kingdom of intense emotion that others don't seem to want to, or be able to, tap into. Being not only able to feel what others are feeling, but being able to feel the things they don't let themselves feel. Feeling yourself transcend old forms of yourself, donning new and better habits and lifestyles. Being strapped to the wheel of the cosmos and understanding that you are just one part and you have to accept what comes to you.

I've only just started to accept those Plutonic parts of me (due, I think, to the pluto/moon square transit I mentioned before). Some things you can never change, and I think that is one of the biggest lessons of Pluto.

He says: Life is bigger than your ego, and your ego will eventually have to give way to life. The world is meaningful and rich but also blind and hideous, and both of those halves are also inside you. You can only control so much of Life; if you try to control more than that, you will certainly fail and Life may get its revenge on you.

posted October 07, 2014 12:42 AM            

I've got a similar issue: Sag Sun in the 8th. Scorpio Pluto in the 7th exactly conjunct Mercury and Jupiter, widely conjunct the Sun (8 deg.) Scorpio Venus on the DSC.

But my Pluto is square Mars (2 deg.) and Saturn (7 deg. Pretty wide, honestly.)

So Pluto's sort of the centerpiece of my chart. Everything always comes back to Pluto.

However, I can't quite say I experience any tumultuous romantic relationships like you've had. Partly because I've never had any. Whoops?

But as far as the whole "transformation" and "burning bridges" themes tend to go, when people start stirring up too much drama in my life, I find it very easy to cut them loose. And it happens fast. Most of the time they don't even realize what hit them.

And I can see where the whole "death" themes play out pretty prominently in my life, since my mom died while I was young and as much as I tried to make sure it wouldn't shape me (I didn't want to just be "That Girl with the Dead Mom, isn't that just SO SAD???") it has sort of slowly ****** up my life.

posted October 07, 2014 12:53 AM            

Yep, i can have some explosive tantrums and very deep dark emotions.

From my own investigations, some of the most influential people have been or are very plutonic.

posted October 07, 2014 01:25 AM            

I, too, have had an intense probing of the mind, philosophy, and the like. I think I'm more analytical but I do have plenty of emotions. Some mistakenly think I don't feel that strongly just because I don't act out like a 2-year-old. Still, those feelings can be intense to some people when in my presence, whether it's someone wondering if I'm high on drugs as I'm so giddy or like when a Cancer nearly panicked at the look in my eyes when I saw 2 guys trying to lead my boy away with her saying she hoped I never looked at her that way, even directed at someone else the intense glare scared her (the 2 men also took one look at me as I approached them and literally fled).

But I don't claim omniscience to accurately compare and contrast my feelings and priorities to others, and I don't think anyone else should either, at least not as glibly as so many do.

Despite the 5H Sag placements (which also includes Eros as well), I'm not obsessed with sex (though I can be casual--but not reckless--about it). Sometimes I think because I'm not is why I don't feel so bothered by the sex lives of others and what it says about them, and assuming they play by certain ethics and seem to be acting/thinking lucidly then I'm generally supportive of them be they asexual, celibate, or having frequent random sex rather than upset by it. Despite my 3H Libra Venus I don't require romance either. I DO require relationships, but they don't have to involve romance. Luckily, the majority of my sexual and/or romantic (not always one and the same) relationships ended well, but I did learn some harsh lessons along the way that left their scars on me. But loneliness was not a problem for me, or even despair (not to be confused with regret and anger at myself and others), though I've known despair before from trauma and from death of others.

I don't ask "why me" either. That would assume I'd have to do something to deserve it and that the world is a fair place. I lost that illusion when I was 4 and I was even younger when I realized a lot of the world just was and I had to be smart enough to adapt (my grandmother can tell me of something I don't recall in that regards). I can question the motivations of others and/or my own behavior but I don't get shocked that it happened to me. I actually feel lucky that a lot more bad hasn't happened. Instead, I learn and adapt rather than accept it or rail against the world not being perfect. I think my Scorpio Jupiter has helped me a lot in that regard and also making me lucky in some of the reckless actions I've taken in desperation. I have known despair but it was for very good reasons. Once those reasons pass then it comes and goes over the years (I did suffer terrible nightmares for years, in fact most of them were in October every year so I'm glad I'm over them!)

I did nearly commit suicide once when I was 15, but that's complicated to explain, especially in why I ultimately didn't (a fascinating story in of itself, IMO). I have made suicide plans "just in case it's necessary" as I've learned there are things worse than death but I'm not depressed.

As for my outlet, that's from mental/creative and physical exercise, too many to list offhand. That, and the ability to center myself.

But there was a time I expected better of people in general (as I made the common mistake that I was the default model for humanity, or close enough, and that therefore I could know many others by knowing myself and thus put unreasonable and/or foolish expectations onto others) and to an extent I pushed myself too hard at times. A terrifying nightmare snapped me out of it, at the end I gave up and accepted death and such peace came over me as I let go of all the "shoulds" ("people should" and "I should" etc). As an exercise (and after some meditation on why that peace came over me) I let go of all expectations that day and just had fun, and it was one of the best days in my life. Ever since then I take time to just let everything go (but balance in all things) and that's another way to keep life from overwhelming me, and I've also lowered my expectations by a lot which has had the positive effect that I'm much more likely to be pleasantly surprised today rather than bitterly disappointed as used to be the case. Or as you had Pluto say:

"Life is bigger than your ego, and your ego will eventually have to give way to life. The world is meaningful and rich but also blind and hideous, and both of those halves are also inside you. You can only control so much of Life; if you try to control more than that, you will certainly fail and Life may get its revenge on you."

posted October 07, 2014 02:06 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by inaworldofsong:
Your chart actually sounds not dissimilar to mine. Admittedly you seem to have easier aspects for the most part (trines and sextiles, barring the quincux and the conjunction).

I've got a similar issue: Sag Sun in the 8th. Scorpio Pluto in the 7th exactly conjunct Mercury and Jupiter, widely conjunct the Sun (8 deg.) Scorpio Venus on the DSC.

But my Pluto is square Mars (2 deg.) and Saturn (7 deg. Pretty wide, honestly.)

So Pluto's sort of the centerpiece of my chart. Everything always comes back to Pluto.

However, I can't quite say I experience any tumultuous romantic relationships like you've had. Partly because I've never had any. Whoops?

But as far as the whole "transformation" and "burning bridges" themes tend to go, when people start stirring up too much drama in my life, I find it very easy to cut them loose. And it happens fast. Most of the time they don't even realize what hit them.

And I can see where the whole "death" themes play out pretty prominently in my life, since my mom died while I was young and as much as I tried to make sure it wouldn't shape me (I didn't want to just be "That Girl with the Dead Mom, isn't that just SO SAD???") it has sort of slowly ****** up my life.

I'm curious - you must have/have had Saturn transiting your natal Pluto/Venus in the 7th right? What is/was that like for you? Mine is looming in the near future. It's going to hit that Pluto/Jupiter/Mercury/Sun cluster and square my Mars and natal Saturn (and probably sextile my Moon, Neptune, and Uranus) all at once. I'm not looking forward to that, honestly...

---

Wow, I'd love to hear your take on how that Jupiter/Pluto/Mercury conjunction goes. In the 7th too! It's hard to find stuff online about other people's experiences of Pluto in the 7th. I'd like to hear about how that plays out for you.

Also the square to mars. I've heard that can be pretty intense. My trine I think helps me deal with the trouble from my Pluto/Venus and helps me ground myself and focus on my art. How does the square play out?

Judging by your jupiter/pluto placement, I take it you're about 19/20 years old? I think perhaps Pluto yields late bloomers, I didn't get in my first real relationship til i was 21-22, before that i was just too sensitive and afraid to let anyone in.

I burn bridges like crazy, especially when it comes to love. It's kind of the secret backup weapon for me if things get too intense. People really only get one chance with me, once they show their cards and I find out that I can't trust them, then it's see you later. I don't have time for people like that.

To answer your question, Saturn started hitting my Venus/Pluto about 2 years ago, and ended 1 year ago. The whole time was also coloured my Pluto squaring my Moon while Uranus conjucted my Moon, so it's difficult to pull apart the specific Saturnian aspects. But I'll try.

These transits enacted themselves in the emotional consequences of leaving my girlfriend for someone else the previous year (just before Saturn hit my DC). It turned ugly quickly and I got very very hurt. I went through a long period of recurrent depressions in which I had to confront a lot of holes in myself which I was trying to fill with relationships.

To tell you the truth, now I look back at myself at the beginning of the transit and see a child, immature and thrown about by internal forces. Perhaps that is the legacy of Saturn - it forced me to mature my outlook on relationships and be more emotionally realistic about who I ACTUALLY am (not who I wish I was) and to approach these things responsibly. I am someone who NEEDS real trust, who NEEDS real commitment, who NEEDS real love and affection in ANY sort of intimate relationship. To pretend I can be casual in relationships is simply a lie and perhaps Saturn taught me that.

posted October 07, 2014 02:08 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gemini30:
Yep, i can have some explosive tantrums and very deep dark emotions.

From my own investigations, some of the most influential people have been or are very plutonic.

Being Plutonic is a gift and a curse.

---

posted October 07, 2014 06:03 AM            

There are those who will brush their fingertips against it before flinching back, but continue to brush again, never daring for more. Those who will inquire when you say, "not great". Or delve a little deeper into your feelings but have that air of timidity or awkwardness, not sure if they really want to know.

There are those that will show some level of fascination or interest, yet will never muster the courage to dive into the deep end. They can't help their curiosity and nature, yet nor do they listen to it. They will get involved with you emotionally on some level, yet treat you like a drug, or an addiction which must be broken. They will not let themselves go, so they shun you for being open and honest with yourself, yet it is the same quality that they are drawn to.

Then there are those who will say yes please, and never look back. I have yet to meet someone like this. I'm sure if I did I would be very surprised, and probably a little apprehensive at first. People say they will. Then they don't.

I agree with a lot of what Pixie Jane said.

The world is not fair.
People will not do what you expect.
People will mostly do what is best for themselves.
People will be dissapointing and let others down.
People don't like things that can't be categorised or shoved into a neatly labelled box.

On the flip side you will find people who are the complete opposite.

People who are fair and fight for others.
People who do, do what you expect.
People who help others, think and care about them.
People who will come through when you least expect it or most need it.
People who enjoy the "chaos" of human nature.

posted October 07, 2014 06:45 AM            

But, conjunct asc 1st and jupiter in 8th the two more influential.

I like to dig and uncover things. I go through life thinking like a homicide detective. lol I'm EXTREMELY observant.

Then... The MOST prominent thing is that I like to be hidden. I sit in the dark a lot. Barbie laughs at me when she wakes up and I'm chilling in the dark. Haha
She's amazed at how I lived before she came. No TV... Just places to sit and I never went many places. She says, "you literally JUST lived here".
I sit in corners of restaurants, or at least along a wall. I don't like small talk, etc.
Awkward when I get my hair cut.
I like having my few friends and visiting my family. I'm not a TOTAL shut-in.

But then, there's other stuff. I'm heavy 12th, heavy Virgo. Despite my having social/outgoing "big three". It's almost like those are reserved for people that I'm close to. Barbie may in fact be the only one who sees ALL, Leo, Gemini and libra.
I have my moments though.

posted October 07, 2014 07:04 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by wilderplain:
Please, elaborate. What gifts and curses do you feel you receive?

---

I apologize for the late response.

Well for one, it's a gift cause it makes us see the depths of...everything, thus giving us a very nurturing feel to everything and everyone. At least for me it works that way. I sometimes can feel so powerful and i feel like i can take on the world.

Then the curse. There are times i can't handle the bat chit of emotions that run through my mind and i can lash out on the wrong people. For instance, i can lash out at my family or friends which can alienate me for a while from them. Thus, i tend to act very cold and show a lack of empathy.

posted October 07, 2014 11:46 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by wilderplain:
Wow, I'd love to hear your take on how that Jupiter/Pluto/Mercury conjunction goes. In the 7th too! It's hard to find stuff online about other people's experiences of Pluto in the 7th. I'd like to hear about how that plays out for you.

Also the square to mars. I've heard that can be pretty intense. My trine I think helps me deal with the trouble from my Pluto/Venus and helps me ground myself and focus on my art. How does the square play out?

Judging by your jupiter/pluto placement, I take it you're about 19/20 years old? I think perhaps Pluto yields late bloomers, I didn't get in my first real relationship til i was 21-22, before that i was just too sensitive and afraid to let anyone in.

I burn bridges like crazy, especially when it comes to love. It's kind of the secret backup weapon for me if things get too intense. People really only get one chance with me, once they show their cards and I find out that I can't trust them, then it's see you later. I don't have time for people like that.

To answer your question, Saturn started hitting my Venus/Pluto about 2 years ago, and ended 1 year ago. The whole time was also coloured my Pluto squaring my Moon while Uranus conjucted my Moon, so it's difficult to pull apart the specific Saturnian aspects. But I'll try.

These transits enacted themselves in the emotional consequences of leaving my girlfriend for someone else the previous year (just before Saturn hit my DC). It turned ugly quickly and I got very very hurt. I went through a long period of recurrent depressions in which I had to confront a lot of holes in myself which I was trying to fill with relationships.

To tell you the truth, now I look back at myself at the beginning of the transit and see a child, immature and thrown about by internal forces. Perhaps that is the legacy of Saturn - it forced me to mature my outlook on relationships and be more emotionally realistic about who I ACTUALLY am (not who I wish I was) and to approach these things responsibly. I am someone who NEEDS real trust, who NEEDS real commitment, who NEEDS real love and affection in ANY sort of intimate relationship. To pretend I can be casual in relationships is simply a lie and perhaps Saturn taught me that.

Nowadays I'm really just waiting for Saturn to exit my seventh house. Literally every attempt at relationships for the past three years (and there have been quite a few) has failed or been thwarted, mostly through just bad timing, bad luck, or bad circumstances. Things that should have just gone smoothly simply didn't. It's as if Saturn is just out of view, pulling strings until I get the message, forcing me to be alone until I'm mature enough to be with someone else. It's been pretty lonely, but I hope there is someone good for me waiting in the future.

---

Yeah, I get the feeling that I haven't quite seen the full extent of the Pluto/Jupiter/Mercury collision yet. Mostly because it's really yet to be triggered in any sort of romantic way yet. (I also just remembered that Juno is right on top of that conjunction too. Whoops?)

I guess the way that manifests itself currently is mostly in the way I communicate with others? I'll jokingly go on rants about small things and end up bringing it full circle in a way that makes the whole thing insightful and points out larger social forces at work all while still making it funny and entertaining. For example, I tend to complain about the customers I have to deal with at work. When talking to my coworkers, I'll talk about how impatient and grumpy all the old people are, and how the most common phrase I hear from them is that our prices are "highway robbery!" Which leads to me joking about "Highway robbery? Really? Sorry, I didn't realize we were taking your money at gunpoint! How old are they that they can remember highway robbery happening? Do they get all nostalgic about the Pony Express too?" And then comes back around to "We get it, prices are expensive. But everyone complaining about a $6 popcorn seems to forget that we live in one of the richest counties in America. That generation has amassed some of the most wealth in recorded history of the world. So I don't need your entitled butt telling me that we're committing highway robbery before you pay for your $6 popcorn with a $100 bill. Don't yell at me for doing my job." It's mostly a weird combination of black humor and biting satire. It's never presented particularly mean-spiritedly, though.

The square... Well, let's just say I had some aggression issues as a child. It nearly ruined a really important friendship for me, but I managed to save that, since the problem was with a third party. I still sort of have anger issues, but I've got a lot of control over it now. But I'm apparently REALLY scary when I'm angry. Once while I was in high school, I was having a crummy day and a couple of my friends were giving me a hard time about it and for whatever reason, I couldn't let it go that day. I wasn't even THAT angry, just kind of ****** at a bunch of my friends and giving them the cold shoulder.

But I found out at the end of the day that apparently TEACHERS were getting freaked out because "[I] looked like [I] was going to kill someone."

Keep in mind, I'm a little ginger girl just under 5 feet tall weighing in around 95 lbs. I was scaring people easily twice my size. And that wasn't even CLOSE to me being truly angry.

But for the most part, I'm really easy to get along with, and although I'm not too hard to annoy, I very, very rarely actually get ANGRY. It's only happened two, maybe three times that I can remember, but it was really scary. It's like you know you're right on the brink of totally losing control, blackout-style, and it's really scary to realize you've gotten to that point and you suddenly realize what you're capable of destroying (i.e. Everything) When it happens, I only have a small window of opportunity and I have to immediately remove myself from the situation because I'm worried that one day it will actually escalate to physical violence. And when I get to that point, I'm not sure I could stop if I started.

Beware the Nice Ones, indeed.

This is also something I'm worried about re: romantic and sexual relationships since Pluto is in the 7th and Mars is in my 5th.

I guess only time will tell on that.

posted October 08, 2014 03:31 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by inaworldofsong:
But for the most part, I'm really easy to get along with, and although I'm not too hard to annoy, I very, very rarely actually get ANGRY. It's only happened two, maybe three times that I can remember, but it was really scary. It's like you know you're right on the brink of totally losing control, blackout-style, and it's really scary to realize you've gotten to that point and you suddenly realize what you're capable of destroying (i.e. Everything) When it happens, I only have a small window of opportunity and I have to immediately remove myself from the situation because I'm worried that one day it will actually escalate to physical violence. And when I get to that point, I'm not sure I could stop if I started.

---

I can relate to that. And I was was much more impulsive in childhood. It's been extremely rare where I thought I might lost control and in that case I removed myself.

Nevertheless...once the cheerleaders who bullied the school singled me out. By then I was in ABC (Adaptive Behavior Class and separated from the rest of the school, it was a type of In School Suspension) after having returned from spending 6 months on the streets as a runaway and at the moment I'd gone off by myself to work on a poem while waiting for the buses to pick us up. I'd already despised the cruelty of the cheerleaders (and other jocks) and what they got away with but still, that was just part of the world. So when they came up to me to mock me (and also my friend, they didn't know she was dead and I took no offense because of that, just noting the irony that my friend, while still alive, had been terrified of the cheerleaders coming after her and now her fears were coming true but after she was dead), I did sort of a "Terminator analysis" and knew their pattern was go after a single person until she self-destructed (though my being in ABC would limit that, that is they couldn't turn the school against me or harass me at any other time save arriving or leaving school) so I figured I should nip it in the bud...and if it made them think twice before singling someone else out for abuse then so much the better.

I also recalled my time as a runaway where I singlehandedly fought off 3 skinheads, each one bigger than me (though I got horribly beat up in the process, plus the skins beat me to a bloody pulp in retaliation some time later) plus fought off a man who tried to kidnap me (granted, it was my krew racing to help me that really made him run), so no way was I going to put up with this from sheltered suburban princesses. I did take their physical fitness into account and figured I was about to get beat, but the point was to make sure I hurt them so bad first that they realized it just wasn't worth it, and that the beating I took in return WAS worth it.

I stood up casually, didn't look angry (I wasn't) and they were utterly shocked as I head butted the lead cheerleader. To my own shock the other cheerleaders only screamed at me but didn't attack. My first blows were as in a street fight rather than schoolyard fight but as I quickly reassessed my level of danger as I beat the holy hell out of her I downgraded to schoolyard fighting and making sure she got the message that I was not her prey.

Suddenly, a hand lifted me up and a football player's fist hit me so hard near my ear that when I first tried to roll back up I fell back down as the world was jumping. He, meanwhile, got tackled by the boys in my ABC class (many of whom had also been on the streets and locked up in brutal places so knew how to fight vicious as well as take a punch) who literally beat him into a hospital while some dared the other jocks to join in. As that went down the other girl (only 3 of us in ABC and one was absent that day) helped me to my feet and got me on the just arrived bus and I saw coaches and faculty breaking it up as it threatened to turn into a brawl (the jocks were working themselves up but were too used to ruling that school through the blessing of the faculty and this sudden revolt shocked them).

Next morning as I got into ABC the teacher sent me directly to the office where I was the one in trouble. My face was swollen so bad that I couldn't even talk right and he had the gall to try to make me feel sorry both the cheerleader and the jock who'd miss the next game at least, saying how important school spirit was. I brought up the boy who stabbed one of the jocks who horribly bullied him and how he lied to the news cameras and how those cheerleaders tormented girls into suicide as well as the one who about broke her back and that did not matter to him. Baffled I asked, "Why do you let them get away with whatever they want? They almost never win anyway."

That statement had him flip out (which also baffled me since at that point I wasn't even yelling at him, I was just curious) and it wasn't long after I was in In School Suspension (like many others in ABC, basically everyone present the day of the fight was in ISS, which was about the same but we got left alone by the teachers more which was an improvement, and like ABC we had our school lunch in between the 2 lunch periods though we weren't allowed to talk and got in trouble even for waving at each other).

For years I mulled over that, especially as I learned it wasn't unusual (and ties in to the violence around sporting events). I pondered if there wasn't some gambling scheme going on centered around high school football (as absurd as that sounded). I finally thought it was a religion thing...the team showed God's favor and deep down they knew God had nothing to do with it, it was the training and everything else, but still there was the social power of winning...and now I realize it was TRIBAL, and their victories and losses was felt keenly by faculty and community that the team represented. When I beat the crap out of that cheerleader, I beat the crap out of the community, when my classmates beat the crap out of that jock who punched me, they beat the crap out of everyone who identified with the team. And therefore the school and community excused anything their representatives did as they would themselves while taking what we did to their representatives with extreme hostility as if we'd done it to them.

posted October 08, 2014 04:05 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by inaworldofsong:
But I found out at the end of the day that apparently TEACHERS were getting freaked out because "[I] looked like [I] was going to kill someone."

Keep in mind, I'm a little ginger girl just under 5 feet tall weighing in around 95 lbs. I was scaring people easily twice my size. And that wasn't even CLOSE to me being truly angry.

---

I was 5'2" and weighed about a hundred lbs (and a lot of that was muscle which weighs more from my athletic hobbies as well as some hard farm labor, I was having a very hard time getting through puberty because I didn't have enough body fat and under doctor's orders to gain weight) but that happened to me.

So in that ABC class (I think maybe a month or so after getting out of ISS) we were all told to do a story about what the founding fathers would think of America today (and it was made clear they were to love America, ABC was a bit on the Orwellian side trying to teach us to love big brother).

I checked out some books (and got inspired to check out a couple of others unrelated to the topic and work them in) and, inspired by having just seen The Matrix I instead did a creative fic which described my class working on the assignment together and used a Ouija board to ask the founding fathers directly in the home of a boy in our class who had a crazy Pentecostal mother who inflicted exorcisms on her kids (with the aid of her church), and in the story I had that church walk in on us and go berserk. In the brawl that followed the Ouija board got busted over the head of one of the Pentecostals and the spirits we'd called into the board then possessed the Pentecostals, and the founding fathers (plus Abigail Adams) were able to access their memories.

I worked in a lot of facts (heavily footnoted from the books) on what they'd think and long story short, they were ticked and decided to hold another revolution "as the first one didn't take." And so we went with them for the Second American Revolution "for extra credit."

Meanwhile, we'd discover that the founding fathers weren't the only historical spirits possessing bodies. Then Gov. Bush of Texas was King George the III who thought the founding fathers had come back for him and thus was determined to crush them first. He called in allies including then President Clinton (who was the Roman Suetonius) and...our high school principal who was Hitler who had become a principal to find a new body. (I had myself in the story saying that explained why he promoted school uniforms with a footnote to a school library book called Hitler Youth...that book would disappear after.)

It then became more like the Matrix and at the end (with Celtics spirits of the Iceni clan possessing a biker gang strung out on PCP and then coming after Suetonius in President Clinton who was trying to destroy the founding fathers along with Bush and our principal at the time they showed up) "Principal Hitler" escaped in a helicopter yelling, "And you're all expelled!" So having nothing better to do we continued onto DC because hey, this was more fun than a video game.

Perhaps I should be grateful that I was allowed to read it to the end. My class sure was, I got an ovation. And then sent to the office where Principal Hitler got to read my story who had a total fit (he actually sputtered and ranted!) and put me back into ISS. He also destroyed my story (and I was given a F for it).

One of the boys was so angry at such an awesome story being destroyed that he had me help him rewrite it on his computer where he made it MUCH more violent, threw in the two ABC teachers, and had himself shoot down the principal and the teachers as they tried to get away in the helicopter. He printed it up in his zine (homemade magazine made by amateurs that used to be popular in the late 90s) with both our names on it and passed it around (it also had the poem I'd been working on when those cheerleaders tried bullying me). It was really popular.

But then Columbine happened, Principal Hitler (even today I just love calling him that ) gave an auditorium speech about if any student knew anyone mad enough to shoot up the school to let him know. (One of the boys in my class told us, "Dude, that's everyone I know!") I got called into the office later with my mom and the counselor present, and a copy of the zine on his desk.

But what I wanted to point out was how I got sent to the office. One of the ABC teachers grabbed me as I was coming into the class as we returned from our lunch period and dug her nails into my arm really hard while glaring such hatred at me. This wasn't asserting authority, this was plain out abuse and something snapped in me. For the first time I wasn't annoyed, I was angry as I broke her grip and shoved her full force into the wall. My voice was low as I pointed out her saying in a threatening tone (one of cold rage rather than hot passion), "Don't touch."

She was a head taller than me and had more body mass but she shrank before me and she looked terrified (in retrospect I think she thought of Columbine). I think it snapped me out of it because I knew she wasn't a threat anymore. She said I was to go to the office so I did. I handled myself well as I went to analysis mode (for example, the principal and counselor tried to have my mom returned to an abusive teen gulag masquerading as a psychiatric hospital but I knew how to get my mom to my side by threatening her child support so she refused, but I was still sent home for the rest of the day while they considered my case).

Next morning I had another office session, this time with the teacher I shoved into the wall present who was playing the victim. Naturally, the principal seemed unimpressed when I showed him the bruises on my arms that were the result of her digging her nails into me. The teacher got mad but said nothing when I pointedly said to her firmly, "If you want respect then show respect, and if you don't want to get beat then don't attack."

In retrospect I know the only reason the school didn't call the police was because I had bruises while my teacher did not, plus she had done that to me in front of the class (and another ABC teacher) so I had witnesses. Instead, I was to spend the rest of the school year (about 2 weeks) in ISS and the teacher did get brave enough to tell me the school could have me sent to that psyche ward even against my mom's wishes and it would happen before school let out. Rather than freaking out over that I researched it hoping she was bluffing...she wasn't, Gov. Bush had signed a law that allowed them to do that.

posted October 08, 2014 10:28 AM            

Pluto is the ruler of my 7th house.

I have a Taurus Ascendant, Descendant in Scorpio of course.

Mars is on the cusp of my 7th house and although it's in Sagittarius, it's in the very 1st degree. Sagittarius is also the ruler of my 8th house.*

I also have:
Sun conjunct descendant.*
Sun conjunct Pluto.*

Mercury conjunct Venus.
Mercury conjunct Jupiter.

Venus conjunct Jupiter.

Mars conjunct Pluto.*
Mars conjunct descendant.*

Pluto conjunct descendant.*

I am very plutonian and I think I carry too much Pluto in my personality.

I am very impulsive, intense, direct, etc.

Not only do my emotions run extremely deep, but the energy my mars holds, runs just as deep.

I have powerful emotions and react in a powerful way. It's almost always impossible for me control my mars when my emotions are involved.

It has been very challenging for me to find someone who either accepts and can deal with all of this intense energy or at least match my plutonian energy with theirs.

All of the guys that i have ever dated has either called me crazy or just stopped dealing with me randomly and unexpectedly by simply removinbg all contact without warning.

Did I mention I have Neptune and Uranus in my 8th house?

Anyway, my emotions, actions are not only deep, they're electric and unpredictable.

My future husband must be one hell of a guy

I also find the need to discover, research, observe, and analyze every hand gesture, manirism, walk, etc because in my mind (mercury retrograde), this gives me a better understanding of who that person is. I never really trust a person's words unless their actions line up with what they're saying and sometimes I don't trust that either if I pick up on a bad vibe from them.

I live a very complex life, but on the surface, you wouldn't suspect a thing. (okay, Im lying. I have Sun and Ascendant square Saturn).

Anyway, my Pluto energy comes out in my intimate relationships and work habits more than anything.

I'm not at all possessive when it comes to friends unless there's a deeply satisfying bond involved.

I'm very hard to get close to in a intimate sense, but my views are a lot more liberal than a lot of young women my age.

I have so much energy (sexual as well as regular energy) built up on a daily basis.

Having Pluto very prominent in my chart is a blessing and a curse. The equally intense individuals that I think could match my Pluto energy is either not attracted to me for some reason or I'm not attracted to them for some reason. Maybe it's entirely too much pluto energy at that point? Who knows..

I have a Libra moon in aspect with both Uranus and Saturn as well as conjunction to my Jupiter in Scorpio so for the most part, I am able to move amongst many different people when absolutely necessary, but I am pretty much well reserved and very cautious and calculating.

posted October 08, 2014 12:08 PM            

squaring ascendant, sun, mercury, venus cap 1st house

trine moon gem 5th/6th

sextile mars 11th/12th

and transiting Pluto conjuncted ascendant, sun, mercury.. mercury is still on, venus is on the way... identity crisis did not kill me, me against the world did not kill me, mental break down did not kill me.. and the last dance is with Venus... now that might kill me...

* endless search for the truth.. keep diggin even after I find it

* going to deep with everything so deep that it gets too dark sometimes

* people always intimidated by me. 44 kilos It's not easy to get close to me.

* love is obsession. Sex matters very much.

posted October 08, 2014 12:22 PM            

squaring ascendant, sun, mercury, venus cap 1st house

trine moon gem 5th/6th

sextile mars 11th/12th

and transiting Pluto conjuncted ascendant, sun, mercury.. mercury is still on, venus is on the way... identity crisis did not kill me, me against the world did not kill me, mental break down did not kill me.. and the last dance is with Venus... now that might kill me...

* endless search for the truth.. keep diggin even after I find it

* going to deep with everything so deep that it gets too dark sometimes

* people always intimidated by me. 44 kilos It's not easy to get close to me.

* love is obsession. Sex matters very much.

posted October 10, 2014 01:50 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by wilderplain:
Yeah I think I read somewhere that the outer planets tend to not manifest completely until later in life. Perhaps you won't feel their extent until a transit 'opens them up' to you. Rest assured I'm sure that Pluto/Mars combo will come out in some way, i've read it can be very powerful for better or worse.

That Pluto/Merc/Jupiter combo seems to suggest a deep thinker and a humanitarian worldliness. Do you have any plans for a vocation or higher education?

---

Ugh, I've been trying to get into higher education for like 3 years now, but finances aren't working out and I have the suspicion that my father is sabotaging my attempts to get financial aid/student loans because of his own codependency issues (my mother died when I was in middle school, so it's just been me and him since then. But I've had at least 6 separate people make casual mentions about him being "afraid to let me leave the nest".)

The school I've been trying to go to is a communications school, where I'm looking into some sort of film-related field.

As far as transits triggering our outer planets... Well, I'm definitely not looking forward to that Saturn transit I'm coming up to now. Doesn't help that I just realized the other day that when it passes over my Pluto/Jup/Merc/Sun and squares my Mars and n.Saturn, just as it looks like I'm in the homestretch, IT'S GOING TO TURN RETROGRADE AND PASS RIGHT BACK OVER THAT CLUSTER AGAIN. *facepalm*

It's supposed to start around my birthday this year (Nov. 28, so just over a month away) and it doesn't look like it's ending until almost the end of 2015.

At least this next year promises to be... Interesting.

posted October 10, 2014 03:25 AM            

But IMO the conjunctions will probably just end up fortifying the parts of yourself represented by the aspected planets. You might start to get serious about your goals/communication/self-expression (Jup/Merc/Sun) and realise the power of those things in your life (Pluto). Perhaps you'll get some opposition to your will from your father or other authority (there's the mars/saturn square).

posted October 10, 2014 03:30 AM            

Saturn wants to work with what you have, strengthen your foundations, slow things down to do them right, go over things with a fine-tooth comb, trim the hedges back to encourage growth.

posted October 10, 2014 08:38 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by wilderplain:
In fact I think there's a good distinction there between Saturn and Pluto's transit/teaching styles:

Saturn wants to work with what you have, strengthen your foundations, slow things down to do them right, go over things with a fine-tooth comb, trim the hedges back to encourage growth.

Pluto on the other hand just wants to wipe the old you off the face of the earth so that things can begin again. Burn away the old forest completely, til one day the new green buds poke their heads through the ash.

---

Yeah, I guess I wouldn't be as concerned about it if I didn't already feel like I was already being forced to take things PAINFULLY slowly. It just sort of feels like at this point if I have to move any slower, I'll just be at a total standstill.

Which is why I've been dying to burn it all down for the past few years.