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Author
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Topic: Venus square Pluto - help
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margym0o
Knowflake Posts: 314
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 02:36 PM
  
This...aspect...sucks...  How do those of you with this aspect deal with it? I am SO unbelievably jealous and suspicious of my SO often for really petty or silly reasons. I thought perhaps it was just him but then upon reflection I have been this way with all of my partners in varying degrees. I think I fear the rug will be pulled from underneath me and DEEPLY fear being betrayed so I often project scenarios that aren't reality. It becomes an obsessive thought sometimes to be honest. How can I help this? IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 2548
From: los angeles, ca, USA
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted November 12, 2014 02:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by margym0o:
This...aspect...sucks... How do those of you with this aspect deal with it? I am SO unbelievably jealous and suspicious of my SO often for really petty or silly reasons. I thought perhaps it was just him but then upon reflection I have been this way with all of my partners in varying degrees. I think I fear the rug will be pulled from underneath me and DEEPLY fear being betrayed so I often project scenarios that aren't reality. It becomes an obsessive thought sometimes to be honest. How can I help this?
If you knew the sh1t my bf has done and projected on me and made me actually doubt my sanity because of this little aspect you'd, hopefully, start laughing. I am STRONG but there have been times his neurosis and plutonic games have nearly made me explode. Sorry I can't give you any advice but just know you are not alone with this. Try hard to use energy into something productive and stay close to people that are sincere and open at all times. Latter will make you trust.
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wheresthemoon
Knowflake Posts: 241
From: Texas
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 03:04 PM
I have the opposition, and I feel your pain! It is very difficult. I am (more like have been...I'm getting better) an extremely jealous person. In the past I have literally BURNED with jealousy over stupid things. If anyone came near my significant other or if my significant other was even nice to someone else I would just seethe. I honestly felt like a crazy person at times. It caused problems in my early relationships, so in later ones I tried my very best to hide it. That is, I wouldn't tell my partner I was jealous, but behind closed doors I was still the green eyed monster. I was a pro at Facebook stalking. One boyfriend told me it would make him feel more cared about if I expressed jealousy sometimes, and I told him he was opening Pandora's box. He told me he really didn't mind, and wanted to know if I was jealous. Long story short, I was right. He opened Pandora's box, and he regretted it. I would get crazy and stupid jealous over the smallest things. I would go insane over people I should have known he would never even be attracted to, and old girlfriends he hadn't talked to in forever and never even thought about. It was nuts. The only advice I can give you is to give it time, and try to talk yourself out of a tree when you start feeling that way. Rationalize. Ask yourself, "Is this worth getting upset over?" and "does this have any bearing on our current relationship?" It's one thing if someone is after your man...it's another thing if you're obsessing for no reason. Eventually, when you've been together for a few years you'll start to feel secure in the relationship, and those jealous feelings will fade away if not go away completely. You just have to give it time and patience, and try to remember what's really important. Some ex-girlfriend is definitely not important if he's not talking to or thinking about her. IP: Logged |
neptunetrident
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 03:08 PM
Hi there. My advice is find another obsession.Seriously. Venus-Pluto are known to obsess over petty things like an ex or the ex of an ex of a friend lol with them everything seems possible. But I love the aspect,my ex had the opposition which i find harder than any square.what sign is your venus in?IP: Logged |
athenegoddess
Knowflake Posts: 3101
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 12, 2014 03:12 PM
I would like to know how men are with this aspect. obsessive too?I've always wondered what drives someone to be so jealous? like crazy jealous. IP: Logged |
wheresthemoon
Knowflake Posts: 241
From: Texas
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 03:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by athenegoddess:
I would like to know how men are with this aspect. obsessive too?I've always wondered what drives someone to be so jealous? like crazy jealous.
I had an ex with this aspect...the conjunction. And he was a scorpio too. After we broke up, I told him I had feelings for someone else. He acted totally cool about it until he saw the guy next. He acted like he was messing around, but he was clearly pushing the guy around aggressively...angrily. Later on he admitted to me that he had wanted to "hurt him." I think guys have those feelings too. I think lots of people with this aspect can hide their jealousy well, but its definitely still there. IP: Logged |
margym0o
Knowflake Posts: 314
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 03:34 PM
Thank you everyone. When I think about it all I can really say is it's the fear of loss and/or betrayal driving the jealousy - him deciding a stranger or an ex is "better than me." A simple answer would be "you're obviously insecure" and this might be part of it, but a small part. I know my worth. This is outside of that. It's almost like a form of self-sabotage because you create problems where there are none. I also have my moon in Scorpio which definitely doesn't help matters!My Venus is in Leo. IP: Logged |
Dreaminess
Knowflake Posts: 219
From: norway
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 03:36 PM
Uff uff uff.. us venus square plutonians are too aware of the painful side of love that we don`t let ourselves enjoy it.We learned early on to not be too naive when it comes to love.I think the jealousy and suspicion comes from this, we tend to accociate love with pain and not love with happiness. We see the ugly "possibilities" accociated with love rather than the beautiful ones.My advice to you would be don`t let the jealousy and suspicion take over you, esp if nothing have really happened. IP: Logged |
ikja
Knowflake Posts: 138
From: London, UK
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 03:37 PM
I have this aspect nataliy.
I've got pluto (scorpio) opposite venus (taurus). The thing is, I know who I am. I know I can be jealous and obsessive and I'll tell whoever I am with, straight up, 'don't lie to me.' The truth may not be very nice, but we can work through the truth, when there are lies or false truths...that's when it gets ugly.The things that really drive me crazy are lies, because then I start thinking about possiblilties. Tbh, as long as you're an honest person and you're dealing with me, this aspect is not that difficult to manage. However, these days I steer clear of becoming attached to people because I find that people don't do honest very well. ------------------
When in doubt, ask questions. ❤ Sun: ♊, Asc: ♏,
Moon: ♈, Venus: ♉, Mercury: ♊, Jupiter: ♋ IP: Logged |
wheresthemoon
Knowflake Posts: 241
From: Texas
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 03:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ikja:
The things that really drive me crazy are lies, because then I start thinking about possiblilties. Tbh, as long as you're an honest person, this aspect is not that difficult to manage.
YES. That's so me. If you lie to me, you may as well have already cheated on me. Because now you are a liar, and I don't trust you. If you can lie about one thing, you can lie about other things too. IP: Logged |
athenegoddess
Knowflake Posts: 3101
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 12, 2014 03:46 PM
do venus square pluto people lie?
what would you make of a man with venus square pluto, mars, and saturn all together? that has got to be tough.
IP: Logged |
ikja
Knowflake Posts: 138
From: London, UK
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 03:47 PM
quote:
Originally posted by wheresthemoon:
YES. That's so me. If you lie to me, you may as well have already cheated on me. Because now you are a liar, and I don't trust you. If you can lie about one thing, you can lie about other things too.
x1000 At the same time, I think this can be a positive aspect too. I think the the care/dedication that comes with this aspect is often something that people don't want to lose. However, some partners either rub the aspect up the wrong way or fail to understand that the aspect/character trait just needs reassurance and stability. This aspect can be very beneficial and loving (in my opinion). But, it's often when it's mishandled or abused or misunderstood, that's when the negative sides of it start to show. Or, when the person who has the aspect hasn't accepted who they are and what they need from others. ------------------
When in doubt, ask questions. ❤ Sun: ♊, Asc: ♏,
Moon: ♈, Venus: ♉, Mercury: ♊, Jupiter: ♋ IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Knowflake Posts: 6057
From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street..
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 12, 2014 03:55 PM
I can totally relate. I have this natally and so does the person I'm involved with. He also has pluto sq. Mars, and I have pluto sq. Sun, so I'm used to plutonian relationships bc those are the only people that I last with.
But the gamed though...
You do learn to embrace this a bit more as you age. I know I love DEEP, so I don't bother with people who cant. And the people who can tend to understand these obsessions.
But as said above, it's the lying that I hate and fear.IP: Logged |
Dreaminess
Knowflake Posts: 219
From: norway
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 04:01 PM
quote:
Originally posted by athenegoddess:
do venus square pluto people lie?
what would you make of a man with venus square pluto, mars, and saturn all together? that has got to be tough.
I would have assumed he would be a guy that isn`t easy to get "close" to, tends to be suspicious and probably tends to have a pessimistic view of love. He himself might want a serious and committed relationship but probably don`t trust people to bring him that so he might tend to sabotage his affair/relationship bc of that fear or "view". IP: Logged |
ScandinavianCrab
Knowflake Posts: 42
From: Scandinavia
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted November 12, 2014 04:01 PM
quote:
Originally posted by wheresthemoon:
YES. That's so me. If you lie to me, you may as well have already cheated on me. Because now you are a liar, and I don't trust you. If you can lie about one thing, you can lie about other things too.
You speak the truth. Thank you for that  Seriously. I have the trine to Venus and moon, square's to sun and Mercury - and im not really sure what's what when it comes to relationships, because the trine to venus is supposed to be supportive right?? I have been thinking if it would be better and smoother for a plutonian to be together with a fellow plutonian?
I guess i could end with a total war, but if theyre both evolved it might just be pure magic..
IP: Logged |
athenegoddess
Knowflake Posts: 3101
From:
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted November 12, 2014 04:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Dreaminess:
I would have assumed he would be a guy that isn`t easy to get "close" to, tends to be suspicious and probably tends to have a pessimistic view of love. He himself might want a serious and committed relationship but probably don`t trust people to bring him that so he might tend to sabotage his affair/relationship bc of that fear or "view".
that sounds right. he is very fearful.
he had a pregnant girlfriend who died in a car crash.
IP: Logged |
neptunetrident
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 04:09 PM
OP Margymo well i think everyone goes through major insecurities at some point or another i'm no pro astrologer but i have the trine, venus in capricorn sign trine virgo pluto.  my daughter has aqua venus squaring the pluto in scorpio and she is not usually jealous nor does she put any boundaries as long as there is trust.Otherwise she won't fully commit no matter how deep her feelings may be. Your fiery leo venus must be different than aquarian ways. IP: Logged |
margym0o
Knowflake Posts: 314
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 07:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Dreaminess:
Uff uff uff.. us venus square plutonians are too aware of the painful side of love that we don`t let ourselves enjoy it.We learned early on to not be too naive when it comes to love.I think the jealousy and suspicion comes from this, we tend to accociate love with pain and not love with happiness. We see the ugly "possibilities" accociated with love rather than the beautiful ones.My advice to you would be don`t let the jealousy and suspicion take over you, esp if nothing have really happened.
Yes, especially about being naive in love. It's almost like a built-in defense mechanism that prevents you from really "falling" into anything too deep for risk of getting your heart broken. And yes to associating love with pain! You desire that deep love and yet you know it comes at a price. IP: Logged |
margym0o
Knowflake Posts: 314
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 07:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ikja:
I have this aspect nataliy.
I've got pluto (scorpio) opposite venus (taurus). The thing is, I know who I am. I know I can be jealous and obsessive and I'll tell whoever I am with, straight up, 'don't lie to me.' The truth may not be very nice, but we can work through the truth, when there are lies or false truths...that's when it gets ugly.The things that really drive me crazy are lies, because then I start thinking about possiblilties. Tbh, as long as you're an honest person and you're dealing with me, this aspect is not that difficult to manage. However, these days I steer clear of becoming attached to people because I find that people don't do honest very well.
100%. I have also been straight up and admitted to my ways after I couldn't contain it anymore and probably used that exact quote. Lies about petty things drive me up the wall because you're right - if they can lie about silly things, what else are they lying about? My mind just goes after that. IP: Logged |
margym0o
Knowflake Posts: 314
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 07:51 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ikja:
x1000At the same time, I think this can be a positive aspect too. I think the the care/dedication that comes with this aspect is often something that people don't want to lose. However, some partners either rub the aspect up the wrong way or fail to understand that the aspect/character trait just needs reassurance and stability. This aspect can be very beneficial and loving (in my opinion). But, it's often when it's mishandled or abused or misunderstood, that's when the negative sides of it start to show. Or, when the person who has the aspect hasn't accepted who they are and what they need from others.
Absolutely. I really believe this aspect has the capability to be the most loving there is because I can love so intensely, but it can really rub someone the wrong way if they don't understand where I'm coming from. Reassurance and stability is really all it would take. It's when I feel misunderstood or ignored that it starts to build up. IP: Logged |
margym0o
Knowflake Posts: 314
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted November 12, 2014 07:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by neptunetrident:
OP Margymo well i think everyone goes through major insecurities at some point or another i'm no pro astrologer but i have the trine, venus in capricorn sign trine virgo pluto. my daughter has aqua venus squaring the pluto in scorpio and she is not usually jealous nor does she put any boundaries as long as there is trust.Otherwise she won't fully commit no matter how deep her feelings may be. Your fiery leo venus must be different than aquarian ways.
Maybe. Leo Venus in general expects attention from their partner in exchange for their love and loyalty so this probably doesn't help. This along with my Scorpio Moon is a lot of "fixed" energy so it likely only provokes it. I've read Aquarians can be very detached at times when it comes to matters of the heart so all that Plutonian intensity must manifest some other way. How do you feel about the Venus trine Pluto aspect? My SO actually has this (quite a contrast) but I can't really pick his brain about it :P
IP: Logged |
Gemini30
Knowflake Posts: 88
From: Los Angeles
Registered: Sep 2014
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posted November 13, 2014 12:16 AM
I have the opposition. Yeah, i get jealous very easily and i tend to make stuff up in my head to make it seem like "something" really bad is happening. That is why i just stay away from relationships. I can't take it. IP: Logged |
neptunetrident
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted November 13, 2014 08:32 AM
quote:
Originally posted by margym0o:
Maybe. Leo Venus in general expects attention from their partner in exchange for their love and loyalty so this probably doesn't help. This along with my Scorpio Moon is a lot of "fixed" energy so it likely only provokes it. I've read Aquarians can be very detached at times when it comes to matters of the heart so all that Plutonian intensity must manifest some other way.How do you feel about the Venus trine Pluto aspect? My SO actually has this (quite a contrast) but I can't really pick his brain about it :P
Idk right now, never gave it too much deep tought about it tbh. IP: Logged |
SoStellarOne
Knowflake Posts: 50
From: Charleston,SC, US
Registered: Feb 2012
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posted November 13, 2014 08:48 AM
I don't know about this aspect. . . . the only time that I've ever experienced anything close to what you all have experienced is within a family relationship. My father's Pluto is oppose my Venus and this guy is crazy jealous and suspicious over dumb stuff. You see, my mother divorced him when I was a kid so he missed out on the majority of my life and not only that, but he was never even there to cut the umbilical cord, so he basically missed that moment to create that initial bond. Anyway, he's a 3rd Decan Capricorn and this man clashes with me on all levels. His Saturn is Square all my personal planets. . . basically there's a crap loads of squares and oppositions between us. He's super envious of anyone else who ever has a positive interaction with me. I keep a healthy distance from him because he's controlling, manipulative, underhanded, sly, jealous, hypocritical, judgmental and just plain ole dirty. I'm glad that I've inherited my mother's compassionate spirit because he is just awful. But I have this aspect along with other known negative aspects with him. Its one relationship that cannot be fixed, especially after he recently wished death upon my mother to my face just because I did not want to live with him anymore. He was trying to use the fact that he helped me get a car thru co-signing as entrapment. Its crazy!!!IP: Logged |
neptunetrident
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted November 13, 2014 08:59 AM
btw i never liked to pick brains though,everything comes naturally to me. My daughter on the other hand is typical hard venus pluto aspect, she hates to lose control lol. IP: Logged |
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