posted January 01, 2015 08:15 PM            

I am angry.
I am very angry.

The fact that I have not received feedback or response to two very personal emails and this ANGERS me, because I am pretty straight talking. Although I can also be impatient. However, it has been nearly 4 days and no response; and now I'm starting to get angry.

You know the angry that causes a tightening in your chest? The type of anger that would give you the energy to push/someone with great force, perhaps causing them a neck injury.

Let me be clear, I can get angry (rageful) quite quickly, but when I think things are being done to me intentionally, out of spite or disrespect... I get VERY angry. There's a feeling of wanting to release this energy because it's ALOT for my body to contain. If it's not released, it usually culminates in crying.

Now, the issue I have is, the person in question would either love watching me get angry or shut down to it completely... So, how do I deal with rage?

How do you deal with rage?

posted January 01, 2015 08:23 PM            

In my disappearance I may give subtle clues that I'm angry. But, if they approach me I'll make it clear that I'm angry and want them to leave me alone.

If they push again for contact, then the rage comes out.
Sometimes I'll give a couple warnings first.
Typically though when I disappear it's enough. They pick up the hint and don't bother me.

My Mars is in the 12th which probably plays a big role in that.

posted January 01, 2015 09:34 PM            

Virgo Sun (makes me super critical, demanding perfection)
Leo Asc & Mercury conjunct(fixed, fire, passion, arrogance, pride, stubborn, have to be right)
Leo Mercury conjunct Saturn (in Virgo), making it even more serious to me. (hate wasting time, hate small talk or superficial relations)
Moon squaring Mercury (emotional during arguments, make emotionally charged & hasty decisions, which I call following my gut)
Moon in Sag (arrogance at times, a bit self-indulgent, adventurous, pushy, fire)
Sun sextile Uranus (take pride in being an individual if even rebellious, low tolerance for BS, outspoken, restless mind)
Mars in H3 (energy in communication, aggressive intellect, like debates so I can win)
Mars conjunct Pluto (super strong will power, emotional displays also known as tantrums, ambition, drive, need to get things done MY way)
Uranus squaring my Asc (independent person, demands freedom, hates being supervised or micromanaged)

There are great qualities associated with these aspects as well, but since you asked about rage, I went on a trip about aggression and astrology.

In any case, the older I get, the easier it is to control. For me, maturity came with age but I know that's not the case with everyone. And, I don't mean maturity like I couldn't hold a job... I was working at age 15 and have been since. I've always been responsible, but I was not emotionally mature until I was about 29-30.

So how do I deal with it?

This is going to sound really manipulative, but I handle it by skillfully pointing out how stupid they are, without name calling or "stooping to their level." Other people may call it being smug and maybe I am, because I get a smile on my face after I hand out the smackdown.

Example - In a recent internet debate on FB, someone called me a "libtard hipster," which is stupid and the farthest thing from the truth.

I replied - "I see you've resorted to using devaluation as an attempt to discredit your opponent (me) so that you can somehow bring me down to your level. You're doing this because you feel as though you cannot win this debate and thus, you've got nothing left but name calling. I've got news for you -- trying to **** me off isn't going to work. What's going to happen now is that I'm going to leave the conversation because the intelligence level has dropped swiftly and I don't have time for this utter balderdash."

I then pretend to go away while secretly reading & laughing at the fallout that happens next.

In other words, when people try to push my buttons, I turn that nonsense right back on them.

This works in person too and luckily, no one has ever punched me in the face for having that smug grin on my face. I just smile, insult them back & walk away.

In the case of someone ignoring me, now I just ignore them. Forget them. When I was less mature, I used to create drama to get their attention (make up illnesses, make up some drama in my life...whatever to get them to pay attention). Now, I seriously just don't give a crap. If someone doesn't pay me attention, I can more than easily get it elsewhere (and I then I go & do). Not worth my time/effort. Life is too short.

posted January 01, 2015 09:37 PM            

Loud music & dancing work for me. Second choice is a long walk. Third choice is going to the gym.

Getting a physical outlet always helps me with that 'pain in the chest' anger.

posted January 01, 2015 09:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Geeky:
About the physical sensations of rage...

Loud music & dancing work for me. Second choice is a long walk. Third choice is going to the gym.

Getting a physical outlet always helps me with that 'pain in the chest' anger.

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posted January 01, 2015 10:12 PM            

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posted January 01, 2015 11:23 PM            

So a lot of overlap with yours.

posted January 01, 2015 11:38 PM            

I just choose to ignore whatever angers me. Just let it pass, because... Will it be any better if I express my anger and hurt them ? No, I don't think so. Can I live without this ? Of course I can.

posted January 02, 2015 12:02 AM            

I'll try to talk about why I'm angry

At worst I'll have a bit of a tantrum. Throwing things, punching and breaking things. ugh....(Mars in the 1st house, mars square saturn)

posted January 02, 2015 07:14 PM            

I disappear regardless but if I'm really angry before I disappear I tend to show how angry I am. Throwing and breaking things, screaming, saying the worst stuff possible. I don't get this way until I've been pushed completely over the edge. It takes a lot for me but once I'm there I black out in rage.

posted January 02, 2015 08:46 PM            

I often channel my rage through fast paced walking or going to sleep (lol), the difficulty is when I am annoyed late at night! That's when things become difficult. Alternatively, the physical build up is often quelled by literally screaming outloud in the most unlady like way (ashamed to admit).

I definitely envy all of the people who have posted saying that they give people silent treatment. I wish I could turn off my rage, and compulsion to really give people a telling off.

I have learned as I have grown older to avoid people who like to wind me up for fun. It took a couple of near miss situations, but I did finally learn how to avoid such people - especially men. Women aren't so bad when it comes to antagonising behaviour.

My rage has now subsided (hoorah), but I think that the advice that I would give to anyone who struggles like me is... try and take a step back when you feel you're rage building. Write it down and confront the person (if this is what you need to settle your mind) when you are more calm and less volatile!

posted January 03, 2015 04:45 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
I disappear.

In my disappearance I may give subtle clues that I'm angry. But, if they approach me I'll make it clear that I'm angry and want them to leave me alone.

If they push again for contact, then the rage comes out.
Sometimes I'll give a couple warnings first.
Typically though when I disappear it's enough. They pick up the hint and don't bother me.

My Mars is in the 12th which probably plays a big role in that.

Conjunct asc
Conjunct Mercury
Trine Jupiter
Square Moon

---

Same (I also have Mars in the twelfth). I just try to get away from whoever is causing the rage, but if they won't leave me alone or they won't stop moping I get REALLY mad and I will let them have it. I try to hide my anger, so if they won't hide theirs for the sake of peace I get really mad.

posted January 03, 2015 11:35 PM            

Something to consider is you may be wrong about the other person's motivations for their behavior. This is something I've had to learn and it took a long time. I used to mistake other people's intentions and then get angry with them. Most of the time, I was wrong. I've finally learned to stop doing that. There's a lot of reasons why a person doesn't respond. They could not know how to handle the situation and are struggling to find a way to deal with it. They may be afraid. But, even if they are trying to hurt you, it's very likely it's because they're hurt and don't know how better to handle the situation.

Does this person have significant placements in water signs? I know water signs or people with a preponderance of water in their chart tend to withdraw and shut down to protect themselves and their vulnerable feelings. They become quiet and unresponsive. Air signs need to communicate! So it's a conflict of personal styles.

Recently, someone I care about behaved in a hurtful and inconsiderate way towards me. I thought about why he would do this and then I realized it's because he was hurt a long time ago and the behavior was his way of coping with this deep hurt and he was just trying to feel okay - not wise, but the need to feel okay I could understand. I generally try to understand why someone is doing what they're doing and once I know, I'm not angry or upset with them anymore.

Maybe none of this is useful to you, in which case, I'd go with strenuous physical exercise. Or beating a pillow, that way nobody gets hurt.

posted January 05, 2015 02:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Chris21:
I like to go on long hard runs, i transform the negative energy/feelings into fuel and try to sweat it out, usually feeling purged/cleansed after (usually hour - hour&half 10km+ runs), or use it as fuel in the gym. As a DJ too listening and mixing music that has sounds or lyrics related to my feelings helps me own them and move past them with inspiration. It's all very Cathartic for me. My Uranus/Mars/Ascendant/Saturn are all conjunct and opposite to Jupiter/Chiron.

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Chris, what kinds of music do you listen to/use that you find cathartic? Is it other than music designed for relaxation or to diffuse anger, i.e., ambient or New Age music?

posted January 05, 2015 04:04 PM            

I get irritated quite easily with some people and can lash out if I'm having a bad day. It sounds bad!

posted January 05, 2015 04:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by peony:
Chris, what kinds of music do you listen to/use that you find cathartic? Is it other than music designed for relaxation or to diffuse anger, i.e., ambient or New Age music?

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posted January 05, 2015 07:30 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Geeky:
About the physical sensations of rage...

Loud music & dancing work for me. Second choice is a long walk. Third choice is going to the gym.

Getting a physical outlet always helps me with that 'pain in the chest' anger.

---

But unfortunately, I MUST TALK TO SOMEONE at some point. I despise being ignored - the anger gets white hot for me most times. Like another member said you have to grab onto someone whose energy quells out your rage. I don't even need feedback, but just to release and KNOW that that person genuinely hears me and let's me yap away.

posted January 05, 2015 09:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Chris21:
usually Deep House or any feel good, uplifting house music for me, connecting to the sounds and lyrics, using the positivity from it as a weapon to overcome and destroy any negative feelings or thoughts I have at the time, my eyes sometimes tear up as I think of and face the problems during it (not crying) which I think is part of the mental cleansing.

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