posted January 22, 2015 08:13 PM            

I've been making excuses for my behavior for years until recently. I know everyone loves differently, but I honestly feel like Scorpios and other Pluto-influenced peope can result to unhealthy ways of loving and/or relating to others.

Jealousy. Revenge. Possessiveness. Passion. Depth.

All of these attributes can be used describe Scorpios and/or Pluto-influenced individuals, right? I feel like us Scorpios are greatly misunderstood, but that doesn't mean I don't see an issue with our behavior. From my own personal experiences, i scare a lot of guys away. I have the reputation of being overly-aggressive, possessive, controlling, etc.

I'm dying to hear other stories, experiences as well as success stories where you guys kept all that 'crazy' under wraps. Sometimes I honestly feel like no one will ever stick around because of how I love.

I tend to explode over minor issues. I always think my partner is lying or hiding something which causes me to act out of insecurity. Me being also uranus-influenced, I feel I'm my own worst enemy. I crave freedom and space so I naturally attract uranus influenced people (I'm involved with an Aquarius/Pluto-influenced guy at this very moment) i get extremely restless and insecure if i don't hear from my partner in 2 days or more. My mind starts imagining all the reasons why and i eventually convince myself that they'll never text/call again. How do i deal with my partner needing space? & this dynamic is unavoidable because i am also very uranian by nature (tons of placements)

Here are MY placements in which I think is the cause:

Scorpio descendant.
Sun in Scorpio (6th)
Mercury(r) in Scorpio conjunct Nessus (6th)
Venus in Scorpio (6th)
Jupiter in Scorpio (6th house cusp)
Pluto in Scorpio (6th)

Mars in Sagittarius (1st degree) on 7th house cusp.
Mars opposite Ascendant (conjunct descendant)
Mars conjunct Pluto

Pluto opposite ascendant.
Jupiter conjunct stellium in 6th house.
Pluto is the ruler of 7th house.
Libra is the ruler of 6th house.

Uranus in 8th house * (this one is a biggie for my explosive anger)
Moon square uranus (moon 5th house; ruled by Virgo)
Sagittarius is the ruler of my 7th house.

posted January 22, 2015 11:35 PM            

I wouldn't say I've mastered it but I know I have come a loooong way, and on a short note I can say, that time, experience, intense soul searching, patience, an intense desire to truly let go of and be free from the feelings (jealousy, possessiveness etc), having to go through intense and painful lessons in relationships, as well as working on forgiveness exercises (H'oponopono is one that was recommended to me and I do think it truly helps over time and with sincerity) and a sincere effort and desire to feel unconditional love for all things/people are things that have helped me... As cheesy as it may sound it really is all part of the Scorpio transformation process and the cliches wouldn't be there if they didn't hold some truth- from the Scorpion (who would rather sting itself to death than forgo the pleasure of stinging) to the Eagle (who soars higher than any other bird) to the Phoenix, who transforms through the purification of flames and rebirths anew through the ashes of it's former self. It's a long, arduous, painful, cyclical journey.

The razor edged path.

Also my progressed Sun is going to be moving into Sagittarius next year (thankfully!! oh how I admire those Sag's... they are everything I aspire to be but my Scorpio/Cappy ways prevent me from being)and I think this helps A LOT.

"Their regeneration lies in learning to be cooperative and outgoing towards others."

posted January 23, 2015 02:19 AM            

I completely understand what you are saying in terms of the lessons, but also... What I've realised about me, is that I can't be with anyone who doesn't understand that I am a passionate person who feels things deeply. I always tried to deny the fact that I had jealous tendencies and the ability to overreact sometimes, but at the same time... Now that I'm ready to ensure that such negative traits do not get the best off me, I am also ready to avoid things that I know are going to trigger me. That's not to say that I do not have a part to play in my own circumstances, I've lost so many potential relstionships because I have a inability to take things slowly and I can come on strongly; but at the same time... These traits aren't going anywhere. So... Part of dealing with them (in my experience) is realising the types of characters/personalities that have the ability to rub these traits up the wrong way and then avoiding them - or creating some distance between us.

posted January 23, 2015 04:29 AM            

Years later, I came across East Indian teachings about the importance of detachment on the spiritual path. Up until I met a certain spiritual teacher who created ingenious methods for developing impartiality and detachment, I thought that was impossible for me.

posted January 23, 2015 06:23 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by lilting:
^ I really like that answer it's helpful and insightful. I think I'll only be able to answer with more understanding--

I'm not a scorpio but I'm an aquarius with pluto influences and I can feel very clingy and possessive toward people I consider important to me. I can get very wrapped up in other people (pisces moon) and it's embarrassing how much of my ego flies out the window when it involves someone I love. I freak when I feel it's not being reciprocated. Although I'm not much for acting on my insecurities; I keep my feelings more private because I fear the worse if people knew. I find it helps to take a good look at yourself and figure out why you behave this way in the first place. I also try and distract myself by focusing on myself instead and because I enjoy self improvement I'll start a project or maybe get a pedicure or do some retail therapy lol Cleaning also helps me work through the crazy (6th house sun ). I also think you should talk to your boyfriend if you haven't already. I've learned the hard way that a lack of communication can murder something that'd probably be a good thing otherwise.

---

I'm seeing someone with these placements. He also has a Pisces moon. We have a DW Moon-venus trine along with mercury-mercury trine (almost exact). Saturn-mercury DW helps with our communication as well.

posted January 23, 2015 06:33 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by deepseablues:
I want to reply to this but have too much to say and not enough time tonight. That question is opening a can of baby scorpions for sure.

I wouldn't say I've mastered it but I know I have come a loooong way, and on a short note I can say, that time, experience, intense soul searching, patience, an intense desire to truly let go of and be free from the feelings (jealousy, possessiveness etc), having to go through intense and painful lessons in relationships, as well as working on forgiveness exercises (H'oponopono is one that was recommended to me and I do think it truly helps over time and with sincerity) and a sincere effort and desire to feel unconditional love for all things/people are things that have helped me... As cheesy as it may sound it really is all part of the Scorpio transformation process and the cliches wouldn't be there if they didn't hold some truth- from the Scorpion (who would rather sting itself to death than forgo the pleasure of stinging) to the Eagle (who soars higher than any other bird) to the Phoenix, who transforms through the purification of flames and rebirths anew through the ashes of it's former self. It's a long, arduous, painful, cyclical journey.

The razor edged path.

Also my progressed Sun is going to be moving into Sagittarius next year (thankfully!! oh how I admire those Sag's... they are everything I aspire to be but my Scorpio/Cappy ways prevent me from being)and I think this helps A LOT.

"Their regeneration lies in learning to be cooperative and outgoing towards others."

This quote helps a lot too, Scorpio is represented by "the hidden, stagnant marsh waters that must be cleansed by the free-flowing waters of life."
Scorpios have to dive deep into the stagnant marsh waters of our emotions, the dark, dirty, slimy emotions that repulse many and bring these emotions to the light to be understood, cleansed and purified so they may trickle freely like a stream instead of being bottled up inside where they stagnate and become our own poison.

---

It's funny you say that because My progressed Sun has been in Sagittarius for about 3 years now. My NN is also in Sagittarius in my 7th house and Pluto is my 7th house ruler. Maybe everything you describe is significant in relating it to my NN 7th house and relating to others in a Sagittarius way.

What exactly is H'ponopono?

I love " (who would rather sting itself to death than forgo the pleasure of stinging)" because in a way, this is exactly my behavior. I sabotage relationships consciously knowing that something is wrong within myself (insecure, mistrusting, attachment issues, etc). I only attempt to sting others when I feel I've been deceived or wronged in some way.

posted January 23, 2015 06:38 AM            

Possessiveness. Jealousy. Co-dependency.

posted January 23, 2015 06:48 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ikja:
So, I am 24 and definitely still trying to get my Scorpian traits under control.

I completely understand what you are saying in terms of the lessons, but also... What I've realised about me, is that I can't be with anyone who doesn't understand that I am a passionate person who feels things deeply. I always tried to deny the fact that I had jealous tendencies and the ability to overreact sometimes, but at the same time... Now that I'm ready to ensure that such negative traits do not get the best off me, I am also ready to avoid things that I know are going to trigger me. That's not to say that I do not have a part to play in my own circumstances, I've lost so many potential relstionships because I have a inability to take things slowly and I can come on strongly; but at the same time... These traits aren't going anywhere. So... Part of dealing with them (in my experience) is realising the types of characters/personalities that have the ability to rub these traits up the wrong way and then avoiding them - or creating some distance between us.

I have Scorpio ascendant.
Many Aries placements.
Pluto in 12th house.
Pluto opposite Venus.

---

I had this same exact mindset until I noticed all of my relationships triggered this side of me so that's when I turned to myself and started asking some very uncomfortable questions.

posted January 23, 2015 06:55 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by peony:
I have Sun-Pluto conjunct the ASC and Mars in Scorpio square Venus. When I was rather young, a violent confrontation with a boyfriend occurred which could have ended tragically had it not been for an intervention at the soul level.

Years later, I came across East Indian teachings about the importance of detachment on the spiritual path. Up until I met a certain spiritual teacher who created ingenious methods for developing impartiality and detachment, I thought that was impossible for me.

Being around a person who is awake in consciousness, being a long time meditator, cultivating and working on cleaving in spiritual relationships, receiving what I am certain is help from spiritual beings/forces, and being in relationship with a partner who is predominantly airy and with Uranus on my Sun brought a needed perspective time and time again. All of these have been immeasurably helpful in overcoming intense negative emotions and patterns.

---

Haha, that's funny. This new Aquarius guy I'm seeing is my first airy guy (even though he's half water, half saturn too) & even within the short amount of time we've known each other, he has helped me see a bigger picture with all of this. I didn't see a strong need to change my ways until I met him. When you realize all of your relationships have the same pattern that you're not happy with, then maybe it's you not the other person who you feel can't or won't satisfy you. Which is why I started consciously observing my feelings and patterns of behavior. Not saying my Aquarius couldn't do better with reassurance (although his pisces moon picks up a lot of the slack), I know it's me taking it personal when in actuality I should be off on my own adventures. I spend so much time thinking and worrying about my partner and it feels so unhealthy and sickening. I understand passion, love, desire, etc. but no one should have you sick about them unless it's the good kind of sick.

posted January 23, 2015 08:08 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yanmorg:

I had this same exact mindset until I noticed all of my relationships triggered this side of me so that's when I turned to myself and started asking some very uncomfortable questions.

If the same types of people (in my case, Uranian influenced people) keep appearing in your life, it's obvious the Universe wants you to learn something so I retraced my 'relationship steps' and realized that 100% of the guys I've dated has at least one uranus aspect to either Moon or Venus or just Uranian in nature like my Aquarius. I am also very Uranian despite my Scorpio placements so once I realized that this need for detachment and freedom that I was trying to run from because of how insecure it made me feel, may be traits I need in a relationship but I am just not aware of it. Maybe I do need detachment and freedom, but as a strong Scorpio, all I want is to control my partner out of fear of abandonment and deceit. I try to catch my boyfriends in an act before I find out surprisingly. That's my biggest fear. I always try to stay ahead in terms of tricks and lies because I never want to finally let my guard down only to find our the guy is a liar and/or a cheater.

---

Honestly, I am just coming to terms with the fact that I am a passionate person who feels things deeply. The difference is, having a Gemini Mercury and Sun, I am more inclined to talk things through and work things through verbally, but when I seemingly come up against people who are unwilling... this makes me take a step back.
The way I am is not compitable with everyone, and I am just learning to accept that. Not all people are passionate, and not all people will take time to see beneath the surface. I can locate the root cause of my issues, but if I cannot share these things with another when the time is right, I can't be with that person.

My passion and feelings are large part of who I am and I cannot be where I am not tolerated. My emphasis is therefore not on changing who I am, but accepting that I am who I am and finding ways to better communicate where I am coming from - directly.
There are plus and negatives to all characteristics and I guess, I'm just moving past beating myself up for not being like every non-Plutonian person. There's a place for me, I just need to find it through understanding myself and others.
That's not to say that I don't have work to do in becoming more secure, I definitely do; but for me... It's more, I need to become more secure to ensure that I don't entertain/waste time entertaining men who are not good for me. I need to be secure enough in myself to walk away and say no to halfheartedness. Most of the issues that I have had, have occurred as a result of me trying own/possess a person who was unavilable for whatever reason; and that's how the power plays manifested themselves.

I don't need to "win" anyone.
If they aren't available, I am learning to take my WHOLE self away from that person. I deserve peace and they do not deserve the drama.

posted January 23, 2015 08:12 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by ikja:
Honestly, I am just coming to terms with the fact that I am a passionate person who feels things deeply. The difference is, having a Gemini Mercury and Sun, I am more inclined to talk things through and work things through verbally, but when I seemingly come up against people who are unwilling... this makes me take a step back.
The way I am is not compitable with everyone, and I am just learning to accept that. Not all people are passionate, and not all people will take time to see beneath the surface. I can locate the root cause of my issues, but if I cannot share these things with another when the time is right, I can't be with that person. My passion and feelings have are who I am and I cannot be where I am not tolerated. My emphasis is therefore not on changing who I am, but accepting that I am who I am and finding ways to better communicate where I am coming from - directly.
There are plus and negatives to all characteristics and I guess, I'm just moving past beating myself up for not being like every non-Plutonian person. There's a place for me, I just need to find it through understanding myself and others.
That's not to say that I don't have work to do in becoming more secure, I definitely do; but for me... It's more, I need to become more secure to ensure that I don't entertain/waste time entertaining men who are not good for me. I need to be secure enough in myself to walk away and say no to halfheartedness. Most of the issues that I have had, have occurred as a result of me trying own/possess a person who was unavilable for whatever reason; and that's how the power plays manifested themselves.

I don't need to "win" anyone.
If they aren't available, I am learning to take my WHOLE self away from that person. I deserve peace and they do not deserve the drama.

---

posted January 23, 2015 08:50 AM            

I don't get attach at all just that my relationships are all the negative side of Pluto.

I guess my feelings are super shallow but I like someone for 20 min and then I need somebody else.

It may be my Sag Moon conjunct Uranus.

All the Scorpio "I feel deeply, jealousy, possessiveness, control" do not apply to me.

posted January 23, 2015 08:40 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yanmorg:

I'm seeing someone with these placements. He also has a Pisces moon. We have a DW Moon-venus trine along with mercury-mercury trine (almost exact). Saturn-mercury DW helps with our communication as well.

Don't you get restless sometimes without hearing from your significant other even if you have tasks and hobbies to keep you busy? I guess this is my own insecurities talking.

---

I think the tasks and things allow me to stop and get my thoughts together not necessarily to distract myself from the situation at hand altogether. At times I do feel restless. I'd go from 0 to 100 worrying about if I'd done anything to annoy them or if their silence meant something more. Most of the time it was me being insecure so I had to learn some way to cope with what I was feeling. Have you come to some sort of compromise? Does your aquarius know how your feeling at all?

posted January 23, 2015 08:51 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by lilting:
I think the tasks and things allow me to stop and get my thoughts together not necessarily to distract myself from the situation at hand altogether. At times I do feel restless. I'd go from 0 to 100 worrying about if I'd done anything to annoy them or if their silence meant something more. Most of the time it was me being insecure so I had to learn some way to cope with what I was feeling. Have you come to some sort of compromise? Does your aquarius know how your feeling at all?

---

posted January 24, 2015 01:50 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Virgo28:
I've Pluto aspecting Soft Sun/Mars/Neptune, and Hard Venus/Jupiter

All the Scorpio "I feel dly, jealousy, possessiveness, control" do not apply to me.

---

Thats because you're not Plutonic enough lol

posted January 24, 2015 01:53 AM            

This is me just having an 8th house Mars/Venus Conjunction in Leo.

posted January 26, 2015 02:03 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yanmorg:
It's funny you say that because My progressed Sun has been in Sagittarius for about 3 years now. My NN is also in Sagittarius in my 7th house and Pluto is my 7th house ruler. Maybe everything you describe is significant in relating it to my NN 7th house and relating to others in a Sagittarius way.

What exactly is H'ponopono?

I love " (who would rather sting itself to death than forgo the pleasure of stinging)" because in a way, this is exactly my behavior. I sabotage relationships consciously knowing that something is wrong within myself (insecure, mistrusting, attachment issues, etc). I only attempt to sting others when I feel I've been deceived or wronged in some way.

---

I love that saying too, it really touched me when I first read it.

I don't know if you've looked it up yet but H'ponopono is a Hawaiian healing technique where you look inside yourself in any negative situation you are in or even see happening between others and look to see what could be in you to be causing this to manifest (as it is based on the belief that the entire world is a reflection and outer manifestation of our internal being) and repeat the mantra "I love you, I'm sorry, Please forgive me, and thank you," with sincerity. A guy healed a whole mental ward without ever directly seeing a patient by looking at their charts and then looking within to see what was in him to cause this and repeating this mantra while looking at their charts. I can link you to a free e-book if you are interested.

Also more I wanted to say in regards to other stuff but once again its late and not enough time, plus sharing in-depth personal experiences can be very draining on this site...
But I can tell you I have experienced exactly what you are feeling, I was in a very intense co-dependent relationship for almost 6 years with someone where we never spent a night apart and communicated multiple times throughout the day, every day. We were equally possessive of each other. I gave so much of myself to him/the relationship that when it all came crashing down I didn't have ANY support group left to help me through, all my strong friendships had faded and I'd spent too much time building on our relationship to make new ones and no family to turn to either, dumb move there, thinking he was all I would ever need, the worst part is feeling so abandoned, but then realizing the only reason why you feel so abandoned and lost isn't because someone else abandoned you, it's because you abandoned YOURSELF. He had a drug relapse and my whole world collapsed and I felt like I had lost myself because I didn't know who he was or how everything I thought we were could be a total illusion, that is why co-dependancy is so dangerous, I also don't have family so it exacerbated the situation. He went missing one night (for 36 hours and when I had a very scary hospital appointment that he promised to accompany me on) and I felt like I died that night, I honestly did not think I could go on without him for so many years and when this happened I was left standing alone, like a 2 or 3 legged table, I spent the whole time crying my soul out and experiencing extreme anxiety. I spent a whole summer crying after his relapse with a lot of hyperventilating. I'm talking many hours and even whole days lost to just crying and being terrified and not understanding what was going on or how to let go. If you've ever watched Breaking Bad at times it was like that scene after Jane dies and Jesse is in the empty house listening to her voicemail message on repeat and they show the sun coming up and going down and all he's done is sit in an empty house in a corner crying and listening to her voicemail and remembering beautiful times that will never be had again. I've been through exactly that and it's awful. It was the some of the hardest and most terrifying stuff I have ever been through and I have been through a lot/had a rough childhood. I don't ever want to lose myself in someone else like that again, because it is very unhealthy and destabilizing.

posted January 26, 2015 03:42 AM            

I must admit that I also struggle with these feelings of jealousy, possessiveness and revenge fairly often. More so than I wan't. At the same time, I am no stable commitment either. I don't stay with people, I am very hard to get close with.
On the other hand I really want to get close with someone, so close that I feel I am the one and only for them!

The only way I see myself getting out of this, is to embrace who I really am, live my life to the fullest, never trying to control my partner (or myself) and actually have a life that I want to have and love.
I have a theory that if I love myself and my life, I wouldn't have time for those crazy scorpio feelings, and if I love myself I wouldn't get threatened by other people.

But besides from that, having a 5th house venus I feel the need to get a lot of affection from people, and attention wherever I go. I need compliments and being wanted utterly much by someone. This makes me feel alive, and makes me feel that I am good enough.

posted January 26, 2015 06:56 AM            

Self control can be mastered but it's bittersweet. You either wear yourself down (at 46 I do not have the energy to play the crazy ***** card anymore, lol) or you learn to shut yourself off which makes you indifferent... Which means you don't act out but you don't feel the butterflies anymore, either.

I think we all have trust issues and that makes relationships difficult.

As time goes on it gets easier.

posted January 26, 2015 07:56 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by next to neptune:
I have scorpio venus and pluto in 5th house
But moon and mars square uranus, venus sextile uranus and aqua north node

I must admit that I also struggle with these feelings of jealousy, possessiveness and revenge fairly often. More so than I wan't. At the same time, I am no stable commitment either. I don't stay with people, I am very hard to get close with.
On the other hand I really want to get close with someone, so close that I feel I am the one and only for them!

The only way I see myself getting out of this, is to embrace who I really am, live my life to the fullest, never trying to control my partner (or myself) and actually have a life that I want to have and love.
I have a theory that if I love myself and my life, I wouldn't have time for those crazy scorpio feelings, and if I love myself I wouldn't get threatened by other people.

But besides from that, having a 5th house venus I feel the need to get a lot of affection from people, and attention wherever I go. I need compliments and being wanted utterly much by someone. This makes me feel alive, and makes me feel that I am good enough.

So it is a very hard balance, and I am still very far away from getting closer to that balance.

---

I can definitely relate with all my uranian energy. Scorpio's intensity and need for depth of feelings conflicts strongly with uranian energy. They're like opposites, ying and yang so trying to integrate both traits hasn't been a successful task thus far. Uranus is in my 8th house to make matters worse so it's like contradiction on top of contradiction.

posted January 26, 2015 07:58 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by next to neptune:
I have scorpio venus and pluto in 5th house
But moon and mars square uranus, venus sextile uranus and aqua north node

I must admit that I also struggle with these feelings of jealousy, possessiveness and revenge fairly often. More so than I wan't. At the same time, I am no stable commitment either. I don't stay with people, I am very hard to get close with.
On the other hand I really want to get close with someone, so close that I feel I am the one and only for them!

The only way I see myself getting out of this, is to embrace who I really am, live my life to the fullest, never trying to control my partner (or myself) and actually have a life that I want to have and love.
I have a theory that if I love myself and my life, I wouldn't have time for those crazy scorpio feelings, and if I love myself I wouldn't get threatened by other people.

But besides from that, having a 5th house venus I feel the need to get a lot of affection from people, and attention wherever I go. I need compliments and being wanted utterly much by someone. This makes me feel alive, and makes me feel that I am good enough.

So it is a very hard balance, and I am still very far away from getting closer to that balance.

---

I can definitely relate with all my uranian energy. Scorpio's intensity and need for depth of feelings conflicts strongly with uranian energy. They're like opposites, ying and yang so trying to integrate both traits hasn't been a successful task thus far. Uranus is in my 8th house to make matters worse so it's like contradiction on top of contradiction.