|
Author
|
Topic: I'm starting to believe that I'm not 'right' for this world.
|
selenafae96
Knowflake Posts: 91
From: Cranbrook, BC, Canada
Registered: Feb 2014
|
posted February 02, 2015 07:25 PM
  
Well, actually, I've been feeling like this for a while. I constantly feel like I'm being judged by everyone around me. I can't find anyone that I relate to and no one can relate to me. My beliefs and thoughts.. I can't say anything to do with those without people discriminating. In school, I'm just terrible. I failed math this year and I feel like I'm far behind everyone else. I feel like the odd one out. Everyone has a talent, but I don't. I don't even have 'people skills'. I'm extremely shy. At home, I feel like my parents are disappointed in me. The rest of my family is smart and outgoing. I feel misplaced. I feel lost. I don't have any friends and my family has higher expectations of me. I feel like a waste of space. I've been having suicidal thoughts for more than a month now. I've had them before, but right now, they're really strong. I keep nagging at myself about everything I do wrong. Every time I make a mistake, there's a voice in the back of my head... "Maybe everything would be better if you weren't here." Anyway, that isn't half of it, but you get what I mean, right? Is there any specific transits/placements to make a person feel this way? Here's my chart:
 IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 60001
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted February 02, 2015 07:30 PM
Mars conj Chiron in the 12th. Any action you take, any thrust, goal drive, even passion(s) may bring pain as if it is like breathing, it is so much a part of you. This is not your fault------------------
Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
venus2tinkerbell
Knowflake Posts: 401
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2014
|
posted February 02, 2015 07:39 PM
To build on what Ami has said Selena, experiencing pain is an opportunity. If you can liberate yourself from the expectations of others, and start to examine closely what you've learned about your pain, you can become someone who has great empathy for others. You can become someone who can understand and save another person, suffering from great pain, when no one else can. If you remove yourself, then you might be removing a great blessing and hope to many others who are suffering.IP: Logged |
DeepFreeze
Knowflake Posts: 4202
From: Pluto with Barbiegirl19
Registered: Nov 2013
|
posted February 02, 2015 07:56 PM
12th house. That'll do it. It's also the house of hidden talents. Mars opposite Saturn
Mars conjunct chiron
Mars square Venus
Mars square mercury
Mars square sun Saturn square mercury and Venus.
Your mars is very... ouch.
My mars is in the 12th also with hard aspects.
Don't compare yourself to others because even at your highest you may not exactly fit in with most. But you may have some unique gifts to offer.
Be yourself. Express yourself no matter how bizarre it may seem. Follow your heart. If you need help in math hold no shame in asking for help, whatever kind of help you need.
I'm very different than many. Even being a Leo. I like to stay home. I dint like socializing a lot or if I do then just for a bit because it wears me out. I love to get lost in my imagination and oddly I like sitting in darkness. LOL
I don't watch a lot of movies or tv.
I just like being alone with music a lot. My point is. Don't worry if you're different. Being different is what makes you special.
I've fought depression and feeling out of place for years and years. I know how you feel but I'm not great at communication.  IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 60001
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted February 02, 2015 07:57 PM
This is my opinion of EXACT conjunctions. It is very, very hard to extricate yourself from them. I did not look at the rest of your chart. Check your Kaali asteroid, too.------------------
Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
venus2tinkerbell
Knowflake Posts: 401
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2014
|
posted February 02, 2015 08:02 PM
Sorry to burst your bubble DeepFreeze, but you're a great communicator.IP: Logged |
venus2tinkerbell
Knowflake Posts: 401
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2014
|
posted February 02, 2015 08:06 PM
And that's how it goes Selena. You are probably your own worst judge so don't worry about being good (easier said than done, I know). Just try to let yourself feel what you want, and then experiment with doing what you want. Take baby steps, like very very small things; part your hair different, drink a different juice or tea. It's scary, but really exciting too.IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 10556
From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011
|
posted February 02, 2015 08:08 PM
Please don't think like this. You are perfect for this world. You belong here exactly as much as anyone else. You are entitled to be yourself.You are still very young and have so much to look forward to in your adult years. I've been reading this book~  Even though I'm old enough to be your mom and have read a lot of spiritual books, this one is helping me more than the others, to figure out how to approach life. (No, I don't work for the publisher  ) But I am a Pisces moon like you and know what it feels like, being at the mercy of everyone else's feelings. Though it's not about the chart...it's about seeing yourself in a whole different light...outside the chart, outside your identity as you know it, even. Just know there is a way to rise above this sadness, and it's easy to find the way, if you seek out the information...and that's not a difficult first step. All mindfulness books will help, but it depends of what makes sense to you and feels right to you. YouTube videos on mindfulness are very common...it's a healing approach that you can take, and it honestly will work, it just takes an adjustment.
IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 60001
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted February 02, 2015 08:46 PM
Pisces Moon at the 29th degree. SUPER sensitive and your emotions feel stuck and frozenSaturn in the 5th--very hard to get go and have fun and feel free. ------------------
Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
ueharaa
Knowflake Posts: 753
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
|
posted February 02, 2015 08:56 PM
Please be kind and patient with yourself. IP: Logged |
SDragon
Moderator Posts: 369
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Sep 2012
|
posted February 02, 2015 09:48 PM
Guess what selenafae96? You're here doing exactly what you need to do! To find yourself.Along with all the other aspects and suggestions from others, your North Node in Leo came here for a specific purpose. Tendencies to Leave Behind
- Yielding to peer pressure in order to "belong"
- Detaching from emotional situations
- Aloofness
- Waiting for others to prompt one's own action
- "Overlooking" what's really going on
- Waiting for "more" knowledge before taking action
- Excessive Daydreaming
- Running away from confrontations Attributes to Develop
- Individuality
- Willingness to take "center stage"
- Following one's heart's desires
- Strengthening one's willpower
- Enthusiasm
- Self-confidence
- Taking risks
- Relating to the childlike quality in others
- Enjoying life - having fun
- Looking at life as a game
- Developing an "It's up to me" attitude
You're still young and developing your soul is always hard - don't give up on it too early for you'll be depriving the world of the best that you could be.
IP: Logged |
Kannon McAfee
Knowflake Posts: 385
From: Portland, OR - USA
Registered: Oct 2011
|
posted February 03, 2015 04:57 PM
selena,Put aside the chart and astrology. If you are having consistent suicidal thoughts you need to go get help. These patterns reveal things rooted at a deeper level that you cannot address with astrology at least until you are more stable. Seek professional help. Get some counseling if nothing else and let someone help you expose the lies in these thoughts of self harm and expose the hurts that lie beneath them. ------------------
Professional astrology - Expert rectification http://kannonmcafee.wordpress.com/
Rising Sign descriptions: https://kannonmcafee.wordpress.com/rising-signs-2/ IP: Logged |
lilting
Knowflake Posts: 84
From: California
Registered: Jan 2014
|
posted February 03, 2015 07:50 PM
I can't see your chart anymore, but from what I've read we share a pisces moon and a 12th house mars. I'm glad you're reaching out, I can relate to what you're feeling. Something happened to me a few years ago that put me over the edge and just yesterday I admitted to my mother I tried to take my life a few days ago; so it's fresh for me too. That's why I wanted to post and tell you I can empathize with what you're going through. I stopped relying on my parents because I felt like a burden and it made things really hard on me. I'm not and I wasn't equipped to cope with what happened to me especially alone.Gosh I'm crying lol I know it's not enough, but I just want you to know if you ever want to talk you can email me or whatever your comfortable with. I hope you begin to feel better soon and I'm not very religious, but I'll pray for you if you want. From what I've seen the people here can be really supportive I'm sure you could probably talk to almost anyone if you ever felt like opening up.  IP: Logged |
selenafae96
Knowflake Posts: 91
From: Cranbrook, BC, Canada
Registered: Feb 2014
|
posted February 03, 2015 07:56 PM
Thank you so much. I hope you're doing alright too.. It really helps to open up on here though. If I talk to people IRL, they won't take me seriously. Are we allowed to share emails on here? IP: Logged |
lilting
Knowflake Posts: 84
From: California
Registered: Jan 2014
|
posted February 03, 2015 08:00 PM
Your welcome it's no problem at all. I'm pretty sure that's allowed? I could ask a Mod if you want.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 49808
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 05, 2015 11:40 AM
Posting of e-mails is not allowed. If you want to do an exchange, ask a Mod.IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 60001
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
|
posted February 05, 2015 01:26 PM
We have an LL FB group, too, in which you could hook up with other LL people.------------------
Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE.
http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
IP: Logged |
lilting
Knowflake Posts: 84
From: California
Registered: Jan 2014
|
posted February 05, 2015 06:48 PM
Ohh okay good to know thanks.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 49808
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 06, 2015 10:59 PM
Yep, search for Lindaland. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 49808
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted February 08, 2015 03:54 PM
Was that you I added?IP: Logged |
selenafae96
Knowflake Posts: 91
From: Cranbrook, BC, Canada
Registered: Feb 2014
|
posted February 08, 2015 08:01 PM
Yeah, that was me! IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
