posted March 14, 2015 08:48 PM            

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Originally posted by Peluches:
It's okay. Ignore him, he's 14. Besides, soon you won't have to live with him anymore.

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posted March 15, 2015 12:13 AM            

I also have a sibling that is quite a challenge to deal with at times. I have to count to 10 and watch what I say.

We both however, have the Moon in Cancer. So there is some deep empathy to how sensitive we both can be in our reactions to the world i.e relationships and all.

What is his Moon sign? And what is your Moon sign? Sometimes the dynamics of the relationship between two people plays out with regards to the aspects between their major planets or their synastry overlays.

posted March 15, 2015 03:56 AM            

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Originally posted by Swanlake:
This might sound odd, but I recommend you watch some you tube vids on how to train an out of control dog. You have to let them know that YOU are the alpha male

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Good luck with that approach on a capricorn, 14 or otherwise O__O

I have to disagree. He is 14 and it isnt just 'how he is' if he isnt acting that way to everyone (your other sister). He is lashing out for something. You saying, quite bluntly, that you and your three siblings 'hate him' indicates a very concerning barrier between himself, and apparently, the majority of his family that doesnt just go one way. It's easy to say that it's his behaviour that makes you guys feel that way; it's also easy for him to say that he behaves that way because of how he is treated/thought of. To me the problem sounds reciprocal, and there is probably something else at the root other than 'blame'. What is going underneath the surface to make him act this way? Why do you react with hate rather than understanding, or compassion, or pity, when he is behaving (feeling) so miserably? Im not saying you have to let him push you around, but the fastest way to aggravate the problem is to treat it with immediate, frustrated intolerance, which you say is not what you want. Have you tried having a meaningful conversation with him about his life? Why he is angry? What is he trying to convey with all of that taunting and poking? Remember that he is 14; I do not believe it is as sophisticated or calculated as your 20 year old mind might assume.

posted March 15, 2015 04:21 AM            

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Good luck with that approach on a capricorn, 14 or otherwise O__O

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I'll take my chances. She's older, has the resources, and he needs her, definitely she's the alpha in that relationship.

I work with a handful of Cappies. While my job is beneath theirs, I'm fairly independent. So when they get out of control with their commands and pushiness I turn cold until they change their approach. This is easy because I already have Moon sq Saturn & Saturn conj Asc.

Like hypocrites everywhere they complain about my reaction to their actions. However the message is clear, there shall be no double standards in our relationship. They may not like me, but at least I'll get some respect out of them.

posted March 15, 2015 05:45 AM            

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I work with a handful of Cappies. While my job is beneath theirs, I'm fairly independent. So when they get out of control with their commands and pushiness I turn cold until they change their approach. [/B]

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As a capricorn I think this is a fine approach, turning cold. That's very much a language I can speak and understand -- the cold breeze. I dont LIKE to be ignored, either, but I will change my approach if this is your reaction to me and I am not getting through. Being ruled by saturn, this is a very paternal kind of energy which I can respect, and when I respect your approach I will change my behaviour, as well.

But the whole alpha training/forcing submission (like one might a disobedient animal) which was recommended and which I disagreed with, no, this is not a good approach in my opinion. My ego would NOT respond well to this, not ever. She could gain the upper hand, he is only 14 and she is truly in control. But it's a good way to permanently damage a relationship over something he will hopefully grow out of, too.

posted March 15, 2015 08:35 PM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Wow. I empathize.

I also have a sibling that is quite a challenge to deal with at times. I have to count to 10 and watch what I say.

We both however, have the Moon in Cancer. So there is some deep empathy to how sensitive we both can be in our reactions to the world i.e relationships and all.

What is his Moon sign? And what is your Moon sign? Sometimes the dynamics of the relationship between two people plays out with regards to the aspects between their major planets or their synastry overlays.

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Hey Aries. He has moon in Sagittarius and my moon is in Taurus.

posted March 15, 2015 08:41 PM            

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Originally posted by Swanlake:
He sounds like he's in need of some "tough love", ie discipline and it should be coming from a strong male figure - his father.
14 is a difficult age. Boys need attention from their dads. He probably feels angry deep down.
This is a major problem today, "absent" parents, and kids being neglected, left to their own devices and not being taught respect, given bounderies etc..
I feel sorry for you. It shouldn't be your problem.
DONT do him any favors if he's been obnoxious that week. He needs to learn about "cause & effect" ie consequences.
Can you lock yourself in your room?
How does he "try to make you feel guilty"- Do you let yourself be manipulated into trying to explain yourself or engaging in arguments with him? - Then DON'T.
Tell him you're unavailable/busy and it's none of his business. Just keep repeating the same words, till he realises you mean it.
You need to get tough and realise you have rights, and don't "owe" him anything

This might sound odd, but I recommend you watch some you tube vids on how to train an out of control dog. You have to let them know that YOU are the alpha male

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posted March 15, 2015 09:10 PM            

@AngaCrowley I actually haven't asked him about his life. Now that I think about it, nobody has. My sister might have, but I'm not sure. I had a feeling he might have some issues that he doesn't talk about in our family. My friend follows him on Twitter and tells me that he posts some depressing things sometimes. Something like "nobody understands". I was surprised at this because he always put up a tough front. But he's a teenager thinking teenage things. I guess I should be more understanding to him but I don't want him taking advantage of me and twisting my words around when all I'm trying to do is lead him to the right path. I don't know how to talk to him without him blowing up.

posted March 15, 2015 09:23 PM            

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Originally posted by AngaCrowley:
As a capricorn I think this is a fine approach, turning cold. That's very much a language I can speak and understand -- the cold breeze. I dont LIKE to be ignored, either, but I will change my approach if this is your reaction to me and I am not getting through. Being ruled by saturn, this is a very paternal kind of energy which I can respect, and when I respect your approach I will change my behaviour, as well.

But the whole alpha training/forcing submission (like one might a disobedient animal) which was recommended and which I disagreed with, no, this is not a good approach in my opinion. My ego would NOT respond well to this, not ever. She could gain the upper hand, he is only 14 and she is truly in control. But it's a good way to permanently damage a relationship over something he will hopefully grow out of, too.

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Dog training is NOT about "FORCING". It's basically about rewarding good behavior while letting the dog know in no uncertain terms that bad behavior will NOT be rewarded. (not much different from what you are describing above). ( "Cesar's" dog training is ideal to watch to easily absorb this principle)

I made this suggestion,not to imply that kids be treated like dogs(!), but rather to demonstrate the similar PRINCIPLES.
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posted March 16, 2015 04:28 PM            

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Originally posted by Einfühlung:
Hey Aries. He has moon in Sagittarius and my moon is in Taurus.

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Moon in fire can be a headache for those who have it in earth.So it makes sense that you two may have some friction.

Moon in Taurus is usually very calm and long-suffering before they burst. Whereas Moon in Sagittarius can shoot from the hip when ticked off.

I think the best way to get on with someone whom you are on two differing levels with. is to find something that you are both passionate about. Then focus on that.

Are there added square/opposition aspects between you two that could make the relating to one another seem impossible?

I for instance have Moon(me) sqaure Venus(she) with my sister. And I sometimes find her Aries Venus energy too abrasive

But we both feel very passionate about equal rights for people and will converse extensively on society ills and "imbalances".

This is where we truly bond I must say.