posted March 15, 2015 06:57 PM            

Highly recommended.

quote:

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“Why am I attracted to people who are wrong for me?” And the answer is quite simple, actually:

Because your wounded self is doing the attracting.

...

Your unconscious is programmed to attract people who activate your wounds. The reason for this is so you’ll grow.

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http://www.the-open-mind.com/why-were-attracted-to-people-who-are-wrong-for-us/

posted March 15, 2015 07:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
Great article. Hits the nail on the head.

Highly recommended.

http://www.the-open-mind.com/why-were-attracted-to-people-who-are-wrong-for-us/

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posted March 23, 2015 01:33 PM            

Of course, we might also ask after reading it, what are the astrological correlates to this?

My take on that is that for many people the Lunar factor carries more weight in the 'wounded attraction' dynamic until we heal and dispense with those things that operate to self-sabotage from below our conscious awareness.

Moon = basic receptive principle and is essentially the receptacle for what we take in and continue to carry with us. As a luminary that reflects and redirects the Sun's light in a certain way it is far more important than any asteroid, including Chiron.

Some of us may have been in self-protection mode to survive early in life, regardless of the absence of big traumas, and this is a defensive posture that tends to block vital, heartfelt interaction and intimacy. I was that way. Moon in Capricorn square Uranus (widely) and trine Saturn.

Those in defensive mode can learn the world is a safe place and with some softening up can let others see the real person inside.

The condition of the Moon by sign and aspects can give some clues to our style of feeling, of touch or touchiness, and the way we want to be mothered or nurtured.

Obviously there are other factors, but I'd rather see people empowered in going directly to what is their own pattern rather than make it an intellectualized astrological study. Do the healing.

Others may be a bit too eager to jump into relationships based on initial attraction and not look/feel their way to what that attraction really is. They may not have the boundaries for staged, gradual relating. Some may lack alertness to who is carrying even more baggage that will turn the developing relationship into a polluted one. A relationship can be no better than the average quality of attitudes between two people. Changing that pattern is under your control. This can mean developing a time sense of 'wait' of 'watch and see' without superimposing agendas or analyzing the other person to death.

At about age 36 I had to very intentionally change the vibe I was putting out. I'd experienced unrequited love over and over. But it was a decision to change -- first and foremost. It was a second stage in beginning to heal.

I had to do some final forgiving and letting go of past parental issues. No expecting them repair it -- just let it go and start fresh. Wipe it off the books.

I did some hypnosis as an aid to changing the vibe I put out and changed my appearance. At one point I started getting noticed by women -- second looks. That was very encouraging to see that I had the power to change.

Even in the initial stages of these changes I was still going after people who could not/would not respond; women who were too young; people with anger and heavy baggage who couldn't meet me in the middle. I had to stick with it in order to see it through and cap it off as a spiritual matter to only couple with someone who could accept me as I am. But before that can happen I had to accept myself as I am.