posted March 18, 2015 04:14 PM            

And I have a scorpio venus in 5th house, and I've always had a really hard time with maintaining friendships... this area of my life has literally never been truly satisfied for me...

So I just wondered if scorp/leo in venus or venus in 8th/5th house have a harder time with friendships/relationships because those are bad placements for venus in general?

What else do you think could make a person have a very hard time with friendships?

posted March 18, 2015 04:36 PM            

There is nothing wrong with being a one or two friend person. Just be careful that when you do make those connections you cater to them properly. It took me a long time to realise just how valuable they are to me, and I let many get away by not being the best friend I could be. The truth is that when I stopped worrying about it, thinking something is wrong with me, Im incapable of friendship blah blah blah, I usually realised there was *someone* there, waiting to be *my* friend, and I started being receptive to that. Those are what I put my energy into, as well as maintaining the few I already have.

I have my eleventh house in Gemini and Uranus and merc the fifth in sag, so yeaaah, I should be the total opposite of this. I think it has to be that scorpio venus. I think this would be even more true for a 5th house scorp.

posted March 18, 2015 05:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by AngaCrowley:
Im sorpio venus in 4th and Im not big on maintaining friendships not worth the effort. Acquaintances have absolutely no appeal to me and besides, I quite sh*te at them. Try having a meaningful conversation with someone you only speak to here and there or can only call to invite to something -- awkward at best and bound to disappoint you. A ton of random people just arent going to communicate with me at the level I want them to, and Im not willing to, either. Id much rather have one or two I can call and talk for four hours, for no reason, and put all of my energy into that. If we cant do that, or I dont think our personalities will ever merge enough to get there ... meh. I have a close few and that's that. I just dont get the point of being social for the sake of it, it's empty for me, a facade of connecting. I used to think something was wrong with me, I was anti social, maybe, except that I always had one or two people who I could just be entirely myself with and vice versa and that for me was fulfilling. So ... why was that so wrong? When I didnt nurture those, was when I really suffered, and as a scorpio venus it WAS easy for me to forget those needed nurturing and devotion and open-ness and etc. All the more because they are rare. When Id go against my nature and try and be a social butterfly, yes, I was very active, always around people, always being social, invited to this place or that, but I was exhausted, unfulfilled, and lonely. I drank A LOT. It didnt make me feel more 'normal' or like Id gained something. It made me feel like something huge was missing.

There is nothing wrong with being a one or two friend person. Just be careful that when you do make those connections you cater to them properly. It took me a long time to realise just how valuable they are to me, and I let many get away by not being the best friend I could be. The truth is that when I stopped worrying about it, thinking something is wrong with me, Im incapable of friendship blah blah blah, I usually realised there was *someone* there, waiting to be *my* friend, and I started being receptive to that. Those are what I put my energy into, as well as maintaining the few I already have.

I have my eleventh house in Gemini and Uranus and merc the fifth in sag, so yeaaah, I should be the total opposite of this. I think it has to be that scorpio venus. I think this would be even more true for a 5th house scorp.

Where is your eleventh?

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posted March 19, 2015 04:59 AM            

When I grew up , I have 4 friends in university that still contact to each others . And I have a wonderful friendship with my co-worker that we 're happy to hang out together .

posted March 19, 2015 07:01 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by next to neptune:
I've read somewhere that scorpio and leo people don't "understand what a friendship is about".

And I have a scorpio venus in 5th house, and I've always had a really hard time with maintaining friendships... this area of my life has literally never been truly satisfied for me...

So I just wondered if scorp/leo in venus or venus in 8th/5th house have a harder time with friendships/relationships because those are bad placements for venus in general?

What else do you think could make a person have a very hard time with friendships?

I don't see other very bad placements in my natal chart that could be linked to friendships, but in general I've got a lot of squares/oppositions, especially to my moon and mercury.

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By "hard time",do you mean that you are constantly fighting/squabbling with your friends?

posted March 19, 2015 07:54 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by AscTaurus:
By "hard time",do you mean that you are constantly fighting/squabbling with your friends?

Or do you mean that the definition of "friendship" is something hard for you to grasp? So much so that you don't even know if you have friends?

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posted March 19, 2015 09:10 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by next to neptune:
It's not like I am constantly fighting or arguing, but it does happen a bit too often with my closest friends yes. I just very often get disappointed with my "so-called" friends, and yes to the point where I'm actually wondering whether we are real friends at all. And thats also why I come to think about that I don't think I can grasp what it IS that makes a true friendship?
Cause maybe it's just me and I have totally misunderstood my "friends". maybe they just never saw me as a real friend either, and therefor they didn't treat me as one...

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It is very natural for Venus in Scorpio to look for meaning and define things relative to their own experience.

The sign is ruled by "psycho-analyzing" Pluto anyways. So they want to get to the "crux" of the matter and not diddle daddle(much like Aries and subsequent secondary ruler Mars).

I think what you are looking for in friendships is the same thing that you are looking for in relationships; namely intimacy.

Trouble is that with Venus in water or Venus in aspect with Neptune/Pluto,the definition of what that is is not so much intellectual as it is a "feeling".

So you look for bonds that make you "feel" a certain way. And much like the relationships that you form/find ideal,you are looking to "belong".

This is what I think is at the heart of ALL water placements. To look for connections and "belonging".

I don't mean to digress.But i think it relates strongly to what you just wrote.

Someone close to me is going through a Pluto/Uranus square transit to her Natal Venus in Aries. And she is starting to doubt/question the friendships she has had.

I don't think the Uranus aspect minds losing/gaining friends quickly as Uranus is all about change/flux anyways.

But I see that the psychological workings of this "let go/don't let go" are digging into her and having her question what the definition of friendship is? And what she can expect from her friendships?

I think Pluto asks for definitions.And so Pluto ruled Scorpio often wants to "define" whatever it is that they getting into. So they know what they can invest(if anything).

I don't know that many Venus in Scorpio people who would be ok with a partner that says "Let's not label what we have at the moment,let us just see where it goes" etc.

Not unless that Venus in Scorpio has Moon/Sun in Aquarius. Moon/Sun in aspect with Uranus/Neptune. Or Venus in aspect with Uranus/Neptune.

posted March 19, 2015 09:47 AM            

I have Venus in Leo square Pluto almost exact and this resonates with me. It also explains why since childhood I have only maintained 1 or 2 close friendships at a time - it really is "all in" with these friends. I was never the type to hang out in circle, and go to the mall, to parties, share secrets etc. with this circle, it was always one on one.

My parents always thought I was being anti-social or too "clingy" to any one individual but I don't see it this way. I am perfectly content spilling my guts to someone I trust and feel no need to engage many people at once. I often fare well in friendships where the feeling is mutual - getting close to people who prefer intimate friendships as well.

posted March 19, 2015 10:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by margym0o:
I think AscTaurus was bang on - it's that need for intimacy and substance and depth in a friendship that would steer us away from superficial relations.

I have Venus in Leo square Pluto almost exact and this resonates with me. It also explains why since childhood I have only maintained 1 or 2 close friendships at a time - it really is "all in" with these friends. I was never the type to hang out in circle, and go to the mall, to parties, share secrets etc. with this circle, it was always one on one.

My parents always thought I was being anti-social or too "clingy" to any one individual but I don't see it this way. I am perfectly content spilling my guts to someone I trust and feel no need to engage many people at once. I often fare well in friendships where the feeling is mutual - getting close to people who prefer intimate friendships as well.

One thing I am still struggling to understand is how my Venus being in the 11th house manifests. You would think with this placement that friendships would be very important to me but overall, not really.

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I am not too wild about house interpretations sometimes. as I feel like they look at a chart from a more "lateral" basis that an inclusive one

In life, most houses overlap and are not as neatly arranged as suggested by certain site interpretations of Planets in certain houses.

Since Pluto makes aspects to your Venus, I wouldn't imagine that you have many friends(as you said).

But i do see you investing a lot into Venus-related areas(as Pluto aspects that).

So if friendship is an area of interest that falls under the "Venus" umbrella, it will have a sort of "Pluto" feel to it.

posted March 19, 2015 03:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by AscTaurus:
It is very natural for Venus in Scorpio to look for meaning and define things relative to their own experience.

The sign is ruled by "psycho-analyzing" Pluto anyways. So they want to get to the "crux" of the matter and not diddle daddle(much like Aries and subsequent secondary ruler Mars).

I think what you are looking for in friendships is the same thing that you are looking for in relationships; namely intimacy.

Trouble is that with Venus in water or Venus in aspect with Neptune/Pluto,the definition of what that is is not so much intellectual as it is a "feeling".

So you look for bonds that make you "feel" a certain way. And much like the relationships that you form/find ideal,you are looking to "belong".

This is what I think is at the heart of ALL water placements. To look for connections and "belonging".

I don't mean to digress.But i think it relates strongly to what you just wrote.

Someone close to me is going through a Pluto/Uranus square transit to her Natal Venus in Aries. And she is starting to doubt/question the friendships she has had.

I don't think the Uranus aspect minds losing/gaining friends quickly as Uranus is all about change/flux anyways.

But I see that the psychological workings of this "let go/don't let go" are digging into her and having her question what the definition of friendship is? And what she can expect from her friendships?

I think Pluto asks for definitions.And so Pluto ruled Scorpio often wants to "define" whatever it is that they getting into. So they know what they can invest(if anything).

I don't know that many Venus in Scorpio people who would be ok with a partner that says "Let's not label what we have at the moment,let us just see where it goes" etc.

Not unless that Venus in Scorpio has Moon/Sun in Aquarius. Moon/Sun in aspect with Uranus/Neptune. Or Venus in aspect with Uranus/Neptune.

Venus in Scorpio's that I know are 'all or nothing'.Quite intense really.

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I have venus conjunct pluto (but it's 9 degrees wide) and venus sextile uranus (2-3 degrees I think) and sextile neptune as well (5 degrees)

But at the same time I have my pisces moon square uranus very tightly, and that's probably confusing to me, cause even though I like having a few close friends, I also like having my freedom and not become TOO intimate, like just having 1-2 friends that I talk with about everything...
But I often find myself either finding friends that is very much air/distant/uranus/cold or people that are too intense/scorpio/taurus-like... I've had a lot of aqua/gemini friends, but also scorpio/taurus friends... the strange thing is that aqua/gemini often falls in my 8th/12th house and scorpio/taurus in my 5th/11th... so it's all in some very strong houses:S

But I think you are right, that I want to know how much I can "invest" my feelings in relationships, and I want to define what I am with other people, and what kind of relation we have... I often find that what I think we have, might not be what we really have, or maybe we "had" that once, but now it has "changed". I just like to know that if I invest a lot of my time, thoughts and love towards someone, they really deserve it because they are loyal to me and our relation in return... but people always seem to change, and then everything I was fighting for just seemed to be lost...