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Author Topic:   Scorpio Psychology: Shy or Taciturn?
Koho
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posted April 02, 2015 09:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koho     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This idea popped into my head because of two reasons. First I see people apply the term shy to Scorpio which I disagree with as a Scorpio trait. Second, a review of my own interactions at work.

I'm a 7th house Sun Scorpio, and a 6th house Mercury Scorpio. I would describe myself as taciturn, not shy. I consider shyness to have an inherent element of bashfulness. The only similar element a shy person and a taciturn person have are quietness and nothing more.

Now this is all speculation to a great extent. The only Scorpio I truly know is myself, and I may just be talking more about my personal makeup than the overall Scorpio persona. Also, forgive the scattered thoughts and errors, no time to really do this perfectly right at the moment. With that said -

----

People often say they're surprised how talkative their Scorpio friends become after awhile. Why is this? Were they just shy in the beginning? Probably not just shyness, or at all. This chatty Scorpio friend decided you are not a rival, and/or your relationship doesn't take place in an arena where their goals exist. They can be easy. For my House of Cards lovers think about how chatty Frank gets with Freddy at the BBQ joint.

We all know Scorpio's are a suspicious lot, and some seemingly mysterious. Why is a Scorpio inclined to be suspicious? Strategy.

If the other Scorpios are anything like me they acknowledge conversation and the usage of words more than a simple past time. A conversation, if used intelligently, is a game of chess. Sentences are the moves you make to a certain goal.
Because we think like this we assume that the other person is the same. Superfluous conversations, fun conversations, are saved for the people not in potential conflict with your goals. And for those that are, sometimes the casual conversation is applied for charismatic purposes.

So we listen. Careful to say enough to keep an interesting balance, but not enough to give ourselves away. But we do want to know who you are. So we keep listening. We hope everyone else will volunteer to fill the room with conversation, and their mannerisms. And through this, you learn all the right things to say to appeal to the person.

These tactics become true only if it is in a place where the Scorpio wants something. Maybe work on the eve of a high level executive retiring and everyone gunning and hoping for promotion.

And if you find us in a place like this, our interactions are measured with many things running through our heads

How do I learn more with saying less?

How do I balance that with maintaining the conversation and charisma? Words have a cost but if you're too cheap with them then you become a bore and no one will share anything with you.

How do I refrain from being transparent if there's information I want?

How do you avoid setting off a person's intuitive alarms? Intuition is a delicate thing. The second you set it off in a person you've failed. They'll put up a shell even if they're not sure why they don't trust you. I imagine my Scorpio rising friends have a little more trouble masking themselves than those Scorpios with nice, unassuming Ascendants like a Taurus or Libra.

And even with all these thoughts, how do you maintain all these conscious efforts while analyzing the person's eyes, facial and bodily movements? After all, you want to keep an eye out for a person's physical tell. Everyone's got one. Mine happens to be very Taurus like when I've been made uncomfortable. The Scorpio's intuition usually picks up on the physical tell, the break in physical pattern, to know whether or not they probed the wrong way. This is why we stare at you even when you're looking away. We need to identify that break in mannerisms because it tells us what's going on in your head.

So this is why a Scorpio is quiet. There's an advantage to saying less, a careful balance to be had with it. Most successful business people I've met truly get this.
There's also a lot of work, and thinking/analyzing of a person if you're *really* searching for something in that conversation. The mind is just active and the gears are turning.

A good, effective conversation is a careful dance. You can tell a neophyte Scorpio by their endless questioning. They make it so so apparent that they're probing you for answers, that they're more than just interested in you. They fail to create smoke through excessive, and probably aimless probing, unless the smoke is the onslaught of questions.

I should add that sometimes, the worst of'em, do this kind of probing for no apparent reason other than the enjoyment of it. I've had a girl play me like a fiddle one night at a bar for no other reason than the enjoyment of getting a person to spill the beans through careful manipulation (I'm still impressed with her to this day, I was very embarrassed)

Also, if we forget to say Hi to you in the hallway it was because we got caught up in our heads analyzing you. Probably stared at you the entire walk past you. Sorry.

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SaturnFan
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posted April 03, 2015 05:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SaturnFan     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Koho,

Thank you for giving us a peek into the Scorpio mind, that's almost a privilege considering how it's an accepted truth that Scorpios never reveal their strategies

It might depend on other placements and the AC sign, but in my personal experience not a single Scorpio I know has come across as shy. Quiet yes, but you can always see how they are measuring up the situation rather than finding it difficult to include themselves. All Scorpios I know just naturally make people around them act in a way, as if they are trying to impress the Scorpio. You know, sometimes when you stay quiet and just look at a person, this will provoke them to talk more and more - and in most cases, they start presenting themselves in a better light when they are around a Scorpio. It's fascinating to watch - quiet but powerful energy.

Of course, these are just my personal observations, and the Scorpios I know are very young still so this might be why they are not be hiding very well the fact that they are actively studying their conversations partners. But as they mature they will be mastering their poker face fully, I'm sure

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erickaf
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posted April 03, 2015 06:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for erickaf     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am shy and I a double Scorpio...I don't speak unless I am spoken to.

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Eirlys
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posted April 03, 2015 08:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Eirlys     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
taciturn

[tas-i-turn]

adjective

1.
inclined to silence; reserved in speech; reluctant to join in conversation.


------------------
It's my Pisces Moon. ☆☾

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4lifephrases
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posted April 03, 2015 09:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 4lifephrases     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sun in Scorpio 12th , Sag Asc and Sag Merc.

Thanks for the word. This couldn't have come better time. I think it must be eclipse which bought it out.

I guess we are so busy learning and we are learning so many things undercurrent. I have been trying to understand new culture for almost 10 years so since I didn't understand it I didn't say much and let other talk. I kind of understand as well that people actually want to talk about themselves anyway.

We sense things under surface. For very long I wasn't that much of body language observer. I hear first see later, maybe it is bit how you are in womb. I think with me people think I am quiet so I do not have any expectations. I have always had very powerful people take over my life thinking I am dumb because I am quiet and have no expectations whatsoever. ( Saturn in 11th)

Anyway I think because I was so busy learning of them I forgot that they needed to learn about my culture too. I assumed they were cleverer but just realized they were not. I started getting very angry when I realized how they would make stupid assumptions. I had to really dig deep to know what was actually bothering me ? and now I know so that helps.

I completely agree we do not like to spend our words and best video I have seen with businessmen. Please go to Youtube and see subtitles and if you are entrepreneur kind of one then see whole movie. Very inspirational !
http://www.tubechop.com/watch/5567129

I have also found that I had try to make other feel quiet secure and try to be similar but it really backfires as people assume that I would be one who would bring their dreams come true. (Neptune in 1st) Sort of fit in so that they like us rather than stand out and not disagree with things.
(Venus in Libra) Sucker to keep relationship and general peace.

I guess I really need to learn few random things which doesn't expose me per say. I know one of my relative is excellent doing at this by gossiping about others and never revealing about anything about her( Gemini Sun) but I feel gossiping is so beneath me and actually I wouldn't gossip with her because she is just very good at spreading at news but not keeping at secret.My Scorpio Sun goes ----beep beep beep ( not to be trusted)

I am also like this in one of my relationship with Scorpio Men or maybe just bad timing. What a mistake ! I have done but I guess it was never meant to be anyway. :-)

I think it also feels like we are so guarded and closed whereas others are open. Feeling vulnerable so I think it is right that there should be a balance.

We do not have words when we are doing something midway so say for instance I had project and I had an idea what is my output should be. We wouldn't talk about it until we are sure. So say for example I was opening a shop and I was learning how to open it. I wouldn't say I am opening shop unlike a Gemini who would go. I have thought up the name. Here is a board. Here are the pictures. Here I am painting. Here I am learning xyz.

1) Scorpio likes to DO something ground breaking. ( Yes, do we are very passionate on what we are going to do or doing) 2) Scorpio want to achieve without other fears / negative feedback as it might be unhelpful and would make us further delve in their negativity. Stop us from taking action at put in paralysis 3) We are very strategic in whom we approach for help. 4) We know people better than they know themselves.

Sometimes it is just matter of time we are more chatty once we are sure of things. We do not delve people in our confusion because when we do we are told we are confused and it doesn't help.

We don't talk unless there is a reason so just random talking makes us wonder what am I suppose to do with this information. We are active listeners too unlike others who are comfortable being passive listener. That's where learning to listen more empathetically comes in place because most of the times people just speak without thinking but when they don't tell us it feels why are you telling me this ????
Despite I am woman I was bought up as a man so I think it is more developing of feminine side you just listen for sake of it.

1) I am hereafter going to ask people if they want me to do something or just listen like sounding board. I think it never used to be problem when there were church when there were pastors who would just listen. people need people to offload, I suppose. Scorpios never offload which is sort of unhealthy maybe???

2) When we get obsessed about something maybe it is time to speak to somebody, Not sure but we do come up with great ideas ourselves and we enjoy problem solving. I guess there is dilemma to share or not to share ?

3) Time to be strategic on what we are comfortable sharing and what we are not. I am very open on Facebook wall and I think probably those sort of things I do not mind saying. Babble...Babble...*gjbkcndkbfdk,.....I suppose.:-)

I also feel we feel most loved when we are fully accepted for who we are. I guess we are afraid that people might not accept our true nature because there are parts of us we are not very proud of or have been criticized for. Most people we share our thoughts they think "oh you are so deep and do not want to have that sort of deeper connection" I have realized the only person I feel fully loved by is by my husband because he knows everything about me and still accept me. He hasn't bothered to understand me but simply love me.

Even though I know that this is a very loving forum and people always seem to be appreciative from hearing yet I have this nudging sound do you really want to press "Submit Now" button. Weren't you suppose to be Taciturn ???? lol...

BTW I am sharing my recent experience, feel free to comment,criticize or stretch my thoughts. Just be gentle.

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erickaf
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posted April 03, 2015 09:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for erickaf     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Eirlys:
[b]taciturn

[tas-i-turn]

adjective

1.
inclined to silence; reserved in speech; reluctant to join in conversation.


[/B]



I love this word...I have used it to describe myself...

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Koho
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posted April 03, 2015 10:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koho     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"I have also found that I had try to make other feel quiet secure and try to be similar but it really backfires as people assume that I would be one who would bring their dreams come true. (Neptune in 1st) Sort of fit in so that they like us rather than stand out and not disagree with things.
(Venus in Libra) Sucker to keep relationship and general peace."

I'm a Venus in Libra as well. It is a good asset if you learn how to use it well. Your sense of fairness gives you a good gauge on how to get what you want. Most people push too hard, take too much, Venus in Libra helps make you fair in your relating. You're probably very good about maintaining bridges. Be fair but don't maintain peace for the sake of peace; learn to go for what you want when it is worth it and then try to make the result as fair as possible so no one resents you.

That Neptune in the 1st also sounds useful but only if you manage it. Tap into that mirroring ability you have only when you have a goal that requires it. I've mirrored people to secure my role before. I think it's important to understand most people like to be understood and related to so if you keep in mind the little things they like that you pick up from casual conversations then in time they'll forget they mentioned these things and you can slowly mirror their likes slowly. But I think this is a bullet you should only use once and aim it well because people can catch on to it. Once they catch on to it and see you're contradicting your likes and dislikes dependent on the person then suddenly you're considered manipulative. So mirror the right person and use it sparingly. If people can see themselves and their wants in your Neptune appeal then you have a great asset to play into their fantasy. Pisces/Neptune has it's own form of strategy and I know Pisces people who are incredibly good at this.

"We sense things under surface. For very long I wasn't that much of body language observer. I hear first see later, maybe it is bit how you are in womb. I think with me people think I am quiet so I do not have any expectations. I have always had very powerful people take over my life thinking I am dumb because I am quiet and have no expectations whatsoever. ( Saturn in 11th)
"

Body language is incredibly important. I had to learn this as well. Not only is reading someone's body language important but managing your own. Everything about your look has to be carefully chosen. Style of dress, posture, neutral face, happy face, mannerisms, even the subtle ones. It all sends a message about what kind of person you are, or the kind of person you want people to think you are. I had to learn this and resisted it for awhile but people are ultimately judged by appearance first and that first impression sets a very hard tone to overcome.

"I guess I really need to learn few random things which doesn't expose me per say. I know one of my relative is excellent doing at this by gossiping about others and never revealing about anything about her( Gemini Sun) but I feel gossiping is so beneath me and actually I wouldn't gossip with her because she is just very good at spreading at news but not keeping at secret.My Scorpio Sun goes ----beep beep beep ( not to be trusted)"

This one is interesting too. I had to learn to deal with this too. I used to despise gossip and judged people harshly for it. I had to get over it. People who gossip are important. They keep information moving, and they know a lot. The trick is you don't want to be the gossip or the gossiper but you want to be tapped into it. These people are really useful and depending on how smart they are they tend to know what's up without giving themselves away.

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Kannon McAfee
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posted April 03, 2015 03:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kannon McAfee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The Plutonian and/or fixed water/Martial nature of Scorpio means generally conservation of emotional energy. Whereas Cancer is generally the mode of attachment, familial bonding and interactive ebb-and-flow, Scorpio's energies are held more in reserve.

Reserved does not necessarily mean shy or insecure about one's place in relation to others. It means reserving one's energies as a fundamental approach to power.

------------------
Professional astrology - Expert rectification http://kannonmcafee.wordpress.com/
Rising Sign descriptions: https://kannonmcafee.wordpress.com/rising-signs-2/

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Koho
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posted April 03, 2015 06:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koho     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Perfectly said Kannon. I couldn't have said it better.

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4lifephrases
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posted April 07, 2015 08:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 4lifephrases     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Koho:
I'm a Venus in Libra as well. It is a good asset if you learn how to use it well. Your sense of fairness gives you a good gauge on how to get what you want. Most people push too hard, take too much, Venus in Libra helps make you fair in your relating. You're probably very good about maintaining bridges. Be fair but don't maintain peace for the sake of peace; learn to go for what you want when it is worth it and then try to make the result as fair as possible so no one resents you.

I like to give unconditionally.I am not that much measuring person or even like person who likes to say "look I am doing this" and "look I am doing that" but I think I reach my limit of giving and then I get very angry and ****** . Until recently I didn't know that was happening that I also had expectations and I never voiced them.
I give because I feel like and maybe I undervalue myself, I don't know??? or I stop because my circumstances change. So say for instance I had lot of time and I kept on talking to somebody every day then they expect that and when I stop because I no longer had time they get all angry. There are people who would just take and wouldn't even realize that they are being unreasonable. I think I have learnt that I really need to manage people's expectations, otherwise they think I am god or magician. Mirroring I do effortlessly but doing that for wrong person who is busy trying to mould me for their advantage is wrong and most of the time I have found those false authorities within family. I had to be very conscious of my own limitation sometimes I just thought I could do everything maybe because of Sag.

Other thing I find really difficult is people with whom you can say good stuff like if you have achieved something , they would be all happy. Then if you tell them you had bad time and they won't believe or would say don't worry or vice versa. When you have a bad time you would tell them all and they would listen but then they do not want to hear anything good like your achievement or even positive change of situation. I guess people just get stuck in that emotion.

I have found difficulty to find who is sensible to hear good and bad. Be Happy with achievements rather than jealous and be empathetic - not overly pitiful with failures. I feel as a Scorpio I go immense highs and lows so depending on which way I am I should be probably choosing people.

Body language is incredibly important. I had to learn this as well. Not only is reading someone's body language important but managing your own. Everything about your look has to be carefully chosen. Style of dress, posture, neutral face, happy face, mannerisms, even the subtle ones. It all sends a message about what kind of person you are, or the kind of person you want people to think you are. I had to learn this and resisted it for awhile but people are ultimately judged by appearance first and that first impression sets a very hard tone to overcome.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veEQQ-N9xWU
I am actually currently working on what kind of person you want people to think you are.
I am not sure if I am that calculative consciously but yes I would prepare when I am feeling under prepared for some big thing - important thing.


Good one on Small Talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F-S6rgf1-E

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DeepFreeze
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posted April 08, 2015 06:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeepFreeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Koho:

"

Body language is incredibly important. I had to learn this as well. Not only is reading someone's body language important but managing your own. Everything about your look has to be carefully chosen. Style of dress, posture, neutral face, happy face, mannerisms, even the subtle ones. It all sends a message about what kind of person you are, or the kind of person you want people to think you are. I had to learn this and resisted it for awhile but people are ultimately judged by appearance first and that first impression sets a very hard tone to overcome.


The thing I have is Pluto/asc and I'm not sure that's it. I'm highly mercurial but it's 12th.

Well either way, this is a lesson for me as well, in particular because I have no issues with looking/staring at people.
I could see someone take it as threatening. (A stranger did once for sure)

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confusedaseff
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posted April 08, 2015 06:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for confusedaseff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Koho:

So this is why a Scorpio is quiet. There's an advantage to saying less, a careful balance to be had with it. Most successful business people I've met truly get this.
There's also a lot of work, and thinking/analyzing of a person if you're *really* searching for something in that conversation. The mind is just active and the gears are turning.

A good, effective conversation is a careful dance. You can tell a neophyte Scorpio by their endless questioning. They make it so so apparent that they're probing you for answers, that they're more than just interested in you. They fail to create smoke through excessive, and probably aimless probing, unless the smoke is the onslaught of questions.

I should add that sometimes, the worst of'em, do this kind of probing for no apparent reason other than the enjoyment of it. I've had a girl play me like a fiddle one night at a bar for no other reason than the enjoyment of getting a person to spill the beans through careful manipulation (I'm still impressed with her to this day, I was very embarrassed)

Also, if we forget to say Hi to you in the hallway it was because we got caught up in our heads analyzing you. Probably stared at you the entire walk past you. Sorry.


my bf is a scorpio raising and this is him exactly when we met and even now. prying him open took so much work but once i did that gemini came out and i can't get him to shut up nowadays :P even now, he prefers to listen when we're out with new people etc and i can see in his eyes the intensity there is he's analysing them almost mathmathically.

i have sun in the 8th so quite scorpionic and i'm definately working on keeping my trap shut because while my mind is doing everything a scorpio as you said does, my mouth is distracting. so i need some self control there.

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confusedaseff
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posted April 08, 2015 06:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for confusedaseff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veEQQ-N9xWU
I am actually currently working on what kind of person you want people to think you are.
I am not sure if I am that calculative consciously but yes I would prepare when I am feeling under prepared for some big thing - important thing.


@4lifephrases - thank you for posting this us it's absolutely brilliant!

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Koniucha
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posted April 08, 2015 07:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koniucha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am 10th house Scorpio sun and 10th house Scorpio Mercury.

I have been told so many times in my life why am I so quiet, although much less now that I am older. I am in my thirties now, and life feels much better for me and I am more comfortable with myself.

I do not feel that I am shy, I am just not a big talker. My Scopr Merc makes me very suspicious also. I mostly listen and only say what needs to be said.

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4lifephrases
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posted April 08, 2015 09:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 4lifephrases     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by confusedaseff:
@4lifephrases - thank you for posting this us it's absolutely brilliant!

Thanks for appreciating !

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Koho
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posted April 08, 2015 06:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koho     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Koniucha:
I am 10th house Scorpio sun and 10th house Scorpio Mercury.

I have been told so many times in my life why am I so quiet, although much less now that I am older. I am in my thirties now, and life feels much better for me and I am more comfortable with myself.

I do not feel that I am shy, I am just not a big talker. My Scopr Merc makes me very suspicious also. I mostly listen and only say what needs to be said.


Basically sums up what I said and I relate well to your sentiment. Must be the Scorpio Sun + Scorpio Mercury combo

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Koho
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posted April 08, 2015 08:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koho     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DeepFreeze:
The thing I have is Pluto/asc and I'm not sure that's it. I'm highly mercurial but it's 12th.

Well either way, this is a lesson for me as well, in particular because I have no issues with looking/staring at people.
I could see someone take it as threatening. (A stranger did once for sure)


Ya, it happens. I guess it kinda depends how you do it. Don't do it like this guy -

http://i.imgur.com/vcd9sQI.gif

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DeepFreeze
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posted April 08, 2015 08:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DeepFreeze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
^^^
lolololololol

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4lifephrases
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posted April 09, 2015 10:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 4lifephrases     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Koho : I forgot to Say Thanks for your advice because I started analyzing. Sorry as to me it is like question how can you be unconditional and calculative at the same time? How one can balance that when everybody else is being calculative?

I know that certain people are more deserving and how friends, family is more important to Scorpio but I haven't found that way. Have you ever like get hurt because you were trying to be unconditional and they were being calculative ?

Actually all my problems would go away if I knew who wanted what? because an individual who is so busy receiving conditional love wouldn't even recognize unconditional love.

I probably need to learn how to do Deal making and keeping scores.

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