posted June 20, 2015 09:38 AM
Saturn on the 11t house cusp conjunct Mars. Neptune in the 1st house.
Moon in Aries in the 4th house
Can you say "hermit" much???
Saturn in 11th wants serious friendships and associations. Has difficulties with small talk and flighty relations.
Also, this is the area of life where volcanic eruptions are likely- standoffs, disagreements, break-offs in friendships and disagreements about principles etc.
Saturn can hold Mars back. But not forever. The accumulated tension often erupts and drama ensues etc.
Saturn in 11th also suggests that you are strict about whom you associate with(11th). For anyone to be a part of your "clique", they need to share your principles. And this is not negotiable(Saturn).
Neptune in 1st is sensitive and receptive; often wanting to be alone and into themselves. They are perfectly happy being on their own as they often feel and are little understood by the world outside them.
Moon in 4th wants a sense of family and belonging- which is difficult to describe as it is not always a tangible thing.
This need to 'belong' drives them from place to place, people to people, for that one good feeling- that incontrovertible thing that hammers it home that "I belong here" etc.
Until then,the Moon in 4th will bounce around endlessly. 
Your sense of peace(4th)is disrupted by Venus: People often want you to behave and be "different" from whom you are.
Most people with this aspect often had a Mom who always had room for visitors in her house.
Guests were very important and any domestic atmosphere was "disguised" in order to please the visitors etc.
This was the Mom who took out the best china for the guests but never let the family use it "capriciously"
Kids with this aspect either do the same as their early environment suggests; please others at the expense of their own happiness(Venus-Moon square).
Holding the opinions of others far above the opinion they have of themselves etc.
Others feel resentful of social obligations that they have to make; being uncomfortable in frivolous atmospheres that are all about exchanging niceties and building "good neighbor relations" etc. They just don't like the pretense of all that.
Also,with Sun in 2nd(your sense of security) is disrupted by Saturn.
The aspect of Saturn to Sun often suggests a father figure whom struggled with confidence issues or felt that they had to push that much harder in order for their goals to be realized.
The father may have "sucked up" to those that he saw as important and did all he could to impress them. Or was perhaps working under the thumb of someone extremely demanding(square Saturn).
Often this is also translated to the child who often learns criticism,feeling "less than" at an early age.
And the willful expression of their own goals(Sun)becomes thwarted by the fear of disapproval or lack of support from others the person deems very important/ influential(square Saturn)
Shyness often results in this case as the individual cannot find a way to do away with the guilt that comes from just being themselves(Sun square Saturn).
The child may also learn early on about hierarchy,positions of authority and levels of importance etc.
So on one end,they may dutifully want to climb to the top- often with what they feel is great effort due to challenges or obstacles(Saturn square).
Or their ego learns to be resentful or bitter about "the authority" etc. These guys will not like to be told what to do by the powers that be and often have stand-offs with people tasked to manage them.
The irony is of-course,that they can be very severe managers themselves when leading others:Often expecting excellence and being quick to criticize(even demoralize)if that "perfect" standard is not realized
If you feel like cancelling.Do that.Go for the feeling that brings you the most "ease". No judgment really.
So sure you may be a little awkward now,but Saturn does ease up as you build more confidence and become aware of your own worth(Sun in 2nd) when older.
The key here is developing ones self-esteem really as suggested by your Sun in 2nd.
I am quite curious about this big realization that you had with your Saturn return that your chart positions were "off".
What was it exactly?If you don't mind sharing?
Lindaland
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