posted June 15, 2015 11:03 AM            

Relationships, bad habits, thoughts, etc.

I have an obessesion with stalking certain ex's and their girlfriends' social networking profiles.

Me and the guy could have ended things two years ago. I still check their pages incessantly.

It's an extremely bad habit that I have been struggling with for years. I just don't know how to stop this annoying bad habit.

The longest I've stopped would probably be two months when I deleted all of my social networking sites. I felt so free and forward moving during that time, but I got bored one day and decided to hop back in the mix.

It's an obsession that undermines my confidence because knowing how pathetic it is keeping up with ex boyfriends AND their girlfriends. I hate that I do this. I have no self control or self-discipline and it drives me insane on a daily basis.

I wish I could have a healthy detachment from my mind, but I feel like a trapped prisoner every day.

How do you all let go? Does any one else have any similar experiences?

posted June 15, 2015 12:11 PM            

My advice is to invest this energy in a cause. It's powerful and intense energy, you shouldn't try to tame it or suppress it, but just channel it in a different way. It can be anything from volunteer work, your job, education, any kind of hobby - whatever fires up the same kind of passion you already know so well. This will balance out your energies, so you will 'ease up' on the other issues which seem to haunt you now.

posted June 15, 2015 12:13 PM            

To me, letting go is accepting what has happened and moving on. Accepting that someone else has different feelings and plans from me. Forgiving them. It's hard because the Scorpio energy is the "forever" type of energy.

Can I ever forget? No way. Am I the same afterwards? No way. If I truly loved someone, and they left me, they've taken a piece of my heart I can't get back.

Channel that focus and energy on something constructive. Plunge yourself into something new or something you're passionate about but may have neglected lately. Go out and meet new people. There's more to life than just love.

I know it's easier said than done, but don't look back with bitterness and anger. It's just gonna eat away at you and contaminate any potential new relationships you may have. Do it for yourself, not your ex.

posted June 15, 2015 01:43 PM            

You fell back into it because you had no defense, when boredom

(or weakness) hit you-- and it will happen again, if you don't

prepare yourself for the next time.

Like SaturnFan said, you need a sufficient substitute-- you can't

just delete everything and leave yourself to twiddle your thumbs.

You need something else to put in its place.

Another thing that helps is to change your routine.. even the smallest

things can have a positive effect of breaking that pattern.

Take a new route home from work or school.

Stop at a different place for coffee than usual, if that's part of the

routine.

Just do something DIFFERENT.

Also-- it may help to shine a light on that habit/obsession/tendency

of yours... keeping it in the dark only makes it stronger.

Someone told me once that we are only as sick as our secrets... is

there anyone you trust that you can share this with?

Maybe someone who has gone through something similar?

Because this isn't exclusive to you.

posted June 15, 2015 03:08 PM            

I have the same issue fellow Pluto on the cusp of the 7th house with Mars in 7th.

But I don't hold on to everything(as I suspect is also the case with you).

Like you, I also have Mars and Pluto next to each other on the angle of the 7th; Only it is my Mars that is on the cusp of the 7th whilst Pluto is in the 7th.

But I see how these play out; Emotions are just so strong.

The good news is that you can overcome.And it will come as a sudden "cold turkey".

But in the mean time, try to let go slowly. Be it stalking your ex or viewing their social pages etc.

Instead choose just one day a week where you don't do that. Then make it 2- then 3 and so on.

It's really all about finding a way to drive your emotions towards one thing and then inadvertently ,away from another.

Its easier said than done. I know. But the key word here is "ease". Do what gives you "ease" and not try and reach out for an overnight solution etc.

posted June 15, 2015 03:46 PM            

I too, have had similar experiences with obsession and sometimes anxiety with previous partners. You worry about who they are with and develop an automatic hate towards the partner they are with (or friends of the opposite sex).

For me personally, burning off this fear with exercise helped me alot. Also keeping yourself busy with things helps take your mind off things, especially if you were in this routine in the first place.

Strangely finding another partner or new friend of the opposite sex can also help deter your feelings towards the 'ex'. Especially in person, it helps you take your mind off the former.

(P.S I have a Venus in Aries, so it's quite easy for me to do this; but for someone with a Scorpio Venus, it might be harder!)

These are just suggestions, so you can choose to use them if you like!

------------------
Get your own Ideal Partner Report!

posted June 16, 2015 11:21 AM            

Let the time heal you , although it is longer than any other peaple.

posted June 16, 2015 12:49 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by SaturnFan:
Scorpio Stellium + Scorpio Pluto conjunct Scorpio Sun square Saturn... no wonder you struggle with the kind of obsessiveness you describe.

My advice is to invest this energy in a cause. It's powerful and intense energy, you shouldn't try to tame it or suppress it, but just channel it in a different way. It can be anything from volunteer work, your job, education, any kind of hobby - whatever fires up the same kind of passion you already know so well. This will balance out your energies, so you will 'ease up' on the other issues which seem to haunt you now.

I LOVE Scorpio energy It's incredibly powerful. You are abundant in it, but it's currently running wild, clinging to this or that - once you get full control of it, you could rule the world!

---

It feels amazing hearing that I do not need to hide all of that intense energy after hearing time and time again that I need to solve my emotional problems or issues.

There's a feeling of empowerment and confidence after reading your reply so I thank you for your positive words and encouragement.

You sound like you understand where I'm coming from which is comforting. So there is an astrological reason behind my madness!

posted June 16, 2015 12:58 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by CosmiqPhuz:
Speaking as someone with Venus conjunct Pluto in Scorpio, it's something that takes time. A lot of time.

To me, letting go is accepting what has happened and moving on. Accepting that someone else has different feelings and plans from me. Forgiving them. It's hard because the Scorpio energy is the "forever" type of energy.

Can I ever forget? No way. Am I the same afterwards? No way. If I truly loved someone, and they left me, they've taken a piece of my heart I can't get back.

Channel that focus and energy on something constructive. Plunge yourself into something new or something you're passionate about but may have neglected lately. Go out and meet new people. There's more to life than just love.

I know it's easier said than done, but don't look back with bitterness and anger. It's just gonna eat away at you and contaminate any potential new relationships you may have. Do it for yourself, not your ex.

I'm not saying to be all roses and daffodils if you ever run into him. But, I look back at my past loves as lessons learned and good memories. I smile and shed a tear. Everyone deserves to be happy, including yourself.

---

posted June 16, 2015 01:15 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Eirlys:
Originally posted by Yanmorg:
[b]...
The longest I've stopped would probably be two months when I deleted all of my social networking sites. I felt so free and forward moving during that time, but I got bored one day and decided to hop back in the mix.

-------

You fell back into it because you had no defense, when boredom

(or weakness) hit you-- and it will happen again, if you don't

prepare yourself for the next time.

Like SaturnFan said, you need a sufficient substitute-- you can't

just delete everything and leave yourself to twiddle your thumbs.

You need something else to put in its place.

Another thing that helps is to change your routine.. even the smallest

things can have a positive effect of breaking that pattern.

Take a new route home from work or school.

Stop at a different place for coffee than usual, if that's part of the

routine.

Just do something DIFFERENT.

Also-- it may help to shine a light on that habit/obsession/tendency

of yours... keeping it in the dark only makes it stronger.

Someone told me once that we are only as sick as our secrets... is

there anyone you trust that you can share this with?

Maybe someone who has gone through something similar?

Because this isn't exclusive to you.

[/B]

---

Yeah you and SaturnFan definitely nailed it. I am going to reread these posts and follow you guys' advice. I need to make some serious changes and I'm thankful LindaLand is here to help seriously. & yes, like you said, do something different! Every time I start moving in that direction for awhile, I always feel the affects It dors work. I just allow self doubt and negative memories lf how I was treated, force me back into the black hole.

& I tell anyone close to me who will listen! The issue is not telling someone, the issue is, most people don't have the same issue or understand something seemingly so simple is hard to let go of. If I try to explain, I look like a helpless crazy maniac and it's not surprising because I feel like one when engaging jn such pointless behavior.

Despite how I may come across in my posts on here and the way I described the situation, I live and pretty normal life Haha. It is affecting me a lot but you would never know unless you got up close and personal. These are innee daemons I'm trying to get rid of so I don't expect anyone to truly understand because it's mainly all happening within.

I'm appreciative of LindaLand and astrology because it does shed some insight and gives an awarness to these bad habits that wouldn't be there without Astrology.

posted June 16, 2015 01:19 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Is it that you can't let go? Or is it that you imagine it would hurt too much to even try?

I have the same issue fellow Pluto on the cusp of the 7th house with Mars in 7th.

But I don't hold on to everything(as I suspect is also the case with you).

Like you, I also have Mars and Pluto next to each other on the angle of the 7th; Only it is my Mars that is on the cusp of the 7th whilst Pluto is in the 7th.

But I see how these play out; Emotions are just so strong.

The good news is that you can overcome.And it will come as a sudden "cold turkey".

But in the mean time, try to let go slowly. Be it stalking your ex or viewing their social pages etc.

Instead choose just one day a week where you don't do that. Then make it 2- then 3 and so on.

It's really all about finding a way to drive your emotions towards one thing and then inadvertently ,away from another.

Its easier said than done. I know. But the key word here is "ease". Do what gives you "ease" and not try and reach out for an overnight solution etc.

---

Excellent question. I believe it's the latter. It is just too painful to stop a lot of the time. I'll be doig good consistently, sometimes for weeks and then once that one dull moment hits and I start thinking, the desire overcomes my desire to let it go. I find comfort in pain in acm way because t has become so familiar.

I do believe it will come on cold turkey because it has happened before. This is the Pluto/Saturn way! disciplined transformation! I am slowly gaining confidence every day.