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Author Topic:   commitment-phobia in the charts?
confusedaseff
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posted August 20, 2015 10:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for confusedaseff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hiya just wondering what placements and aspects would make someone a commitment-phobe.. other than just plain gemini

thanks

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ReadingTheStars95
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posted August 20, 2015 10:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ReadingTheStars95     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I kind of have this problem.. Then again, I could probably say that I am Demi-romantic..

Hmm.. I would think hard aspects between Venus/Uranus..

Maybe a strong Pluto, actually. Partly because a fear of abandonment/betrayal.. But.. Also.. It takes quite some time for some Plutonian people to really open up to another..

Maybe even the right kind of Pluto/Venus aspects..

Hmm.. Maybe even a heavy Sagittarius.. I feel Sagittarius has a hard time settling sometimes.

Hmmm..

Even though I know some might beg to differ.. I would say Taurus CAN be slow to get into relationships.. Taurus is not afraid to take its time when it needs to.. But.. I don't think Taurus has a fear of commitment, really.

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karenkellybella
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posted August 20, 2015 10:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for karenkellybella     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've been doing a lot of research on Lilith and I read that Lil sitting pretty in H5 can cause commitment issues as will a virgo moon, but only because the Virgo Moon person will seek perfection that is impossible for any potential mate to attain.

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wheresthemoon
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posted August 20, 2015 10:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheresthemoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am a commitment phobe. Partially because I have been put through the ringer, but even so here are the things I would attribute this to:

Sagittarius moon conjunct Lilith
Venus trine Uranus
Venus in 11H
Venus opposite Pluto
Sun square Uranus
Moon opposite Mars

I would even say sun square Neptune and Venus trine Neptune, cause Neptune makes it harder to deal with real people as opposed to the fantasy you've concocted of a perfect mate. And also Neptune is elusive and boundless.

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Gemini30
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posted August 20, 2015 10:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gemini30     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Saturn in the 5th house. Yikes!

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cchampliss2
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posted August 21, 2015 12:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cchampliss2     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have a sag Venus. And it's sextile both saturn and jupiter. The idea of being in a long term commitment seems very appealing and I would love that now, but when I was younger, any mention of longterm or committed, made me run for the hills.

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RoseLily
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posted August 21, 2015 01:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for RoseLily     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ReadingTheStars95:
I kind of have this problem.. Then again, I could probably say that I am Demi-romantic..

Hmm.. I would think hard aspects between Venus/Uranus..

Maybe a strong Pluto, actually. Partly because a fear of abandonment/betrayal.. But.. Also.. It takes quite some time for some Plutonian people to really open up to another..

Maybe even the right kind of Pluto/Venus aspects..


Yes, yes and YES, alright? YES!
I have a Venus-Uranus opposition, combined with a very strong pluto trine my venus and sextile my moon. Add that a Saturn-Asc conjunction from twelfth.
I am petrified by any kind of courtship, relationship, commitment I have to do.
It's like someone taking me into jail with no way out.
I am always wondering about the "what-ifs", always worrying about all kind of possibility that could possibly happen (seventh house Moon in libra), and I need so much a second way out, that sometimes I don't step in at all and sabotage myself or any kind of opportunity, using the excuse "it wouldn't have worked out anyway"
I also have this weird setup of falling for unavailable guy.
I can be sure as hell that if I have a crush on someone, he has a GF, he's gay, he's married or his dog just died. (RIP to everyone's dog who died).
Sometimes the idea of commitment scares me, other times is the possibility of being wronged, hurted or having too much faith and being backstabbed.
However I will have to face Venus-Uranus issue someday, because it IS part of my craddle, and I don't like the idea of simply escaping into pluto or moon without resolving my problems :<.

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theunknown
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posted August 21, 2015 01:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for theunknown     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
venus-jupiter/uranus/pluto

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Gemini30
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posted August 21, 2015 01:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gemini30     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by RoseLily:
Yes, yes and YES, alright? YES!
I have a Venus-Uranus opposition, combined with a very strong pluto trine my venus and sextile my moon. Add that a Saturn-Asc conjunction from twelfth.
I am petrified by any kind of courtship, relationship, commitment I have to do.
It's like someone taking me into jail with no way out.
I am always wondering about the "what-ifs", always worrying about all kind of possibility that could possibly happen (seventh house Moon in libra), and I need so much a second way out, that sometimes I don't step in at all and sabotage myself or any kind of opportunity, using the excuse "it wouldn't have worked out anyway"
I also have this weird setup of falling for unavailable guy.
I can be sure as hell that if I have a crush on someone, he has a GF, he's gay, he's married or his dog just died. (RIP to everyone's dog who died).
Sometimes the idea of commitment scares me, other times is the possibility of being wronged, hurted or having too much faith and being backstabbed.
However I will have to face Venus-Uranus issue someday, because it IS part of my craddle, and I don't like the idea of simply escaping into pluto or moon without resolving my problems :<.

I see how you feel. I also PURPOSELY fall for unavailable women so i don't have to rely on the true potential relationships that await me. Its weird.

Why is that? I thought maybe it was i just didnt want to be tied down, but now maybe it really is a insecurity issue? Like maybe i feel i wont be good enough?

Ugh....

Venus opp Moon
Venus opp pluto
Venus tribe Uranus
Venus in the 7th house.
Moon conj pluto.

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charlie
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posted August 21, 2015 04:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for charlie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have Venus 11H sq Uranus, Jupiter, Chiron and Pluto sq Sun, Moon, Mercury. Venus is also conjunct Saturn. I CAN commit until the day I panic and need to smell freedom, at which point I will do anything and everything to get out.

I am due to get married next month and I am already feeling strange in my stomach :-/

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Soltze
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posted August 21, 2015 05:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Soltze     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gemini30:
I see how you feel. I also PURPOSELY fall for unavailable women so i don't have to rely on the true potential relationships that await me. Its weird.

Why is that? I thought maybe it was i just didnt want to be tied down, but now maybe it really is a insecurity issue? Like maybe i feel i wont be good enough?

Ugh....

Venus opp Moon
Venus opp pluto
Venus tribe Uranus
Venus in the 7th house.
Moon conj pluto.


Yeah I've got a Moon conj Pluto as well.
I'm a bit insecure. I never really trust anyone.
I can be kind and everything but there is always this voice in the back of my head making me suspicious.´
I always fall in love with unavailable men. And I always get in relationships with people I'm not really in love with....i thank that's my Venus opp Neptune

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hannaramaa
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posted August 21, 2015 06:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Moon / Uranus
Moon / Neptune
Venus hard aspect to Saturn (maybe Sun too)
Uranus and Neptune in the 7th house (Saturn too)
Or the 5th house.

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confusedaseff
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posted August 21, 2015 11:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for confusedaseff     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
well i've got:

venus sextile uranus
venus sextile neptune
venus conjunct pluto

and chiron in the 5th house

and i'm a commitmentphobe :S

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Madpoe
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posted August 21, 2015 12:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Madpoe     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have Saturn (Gemini) in the 5th house.
And been with one man for the last 22 years. 15 of 'em married. Also having Venus in Capricorn (12th House) rx and not playing nice with Uranus (9th H). I've wanted nothing but a committed relationship - but perhaps as an aquarian or moon/pluto conj (IDK) i'd lose myself or the person wouldn't see me as worthy once the got passed my defenses.

------------------
Sun Aquarius
Rising Aquarius
Moon Libra
Mercury Pisces
Venus Capricorn
Mars Taurus

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ScorpieScorp
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posted August 21, 2015 12:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScorpieScorp     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by theunknown:
venus-jupiter/uranus/pluto

Well, I finally figured out why I'm a commitment phobe..

Sun/Uranus, Venus/Jupiter, Venus/Saturn, Saturn/ASC...

Oh, let's add Venus Square Mars...

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Gemini30
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posted August 21, 2015 12:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gemini30     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Im starting to believe commitment phobia is more due to insecurity issues and abandonment fears.

Pluto is strong with this one. Its why breakups are so extremely hard on plutonians, takes a while to heal. Its no wonder they get married later than usual.

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margym0o
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posted August 21, 2015 01:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think it's very individual and comes down to the environment in which you were raised, your lifestyle, your "prospects" and really if you've found someone you can actually say "yes" to - as the old saying goes "when you know you know!"

My best girlfriend has a lot of the aspects mentioned as commitment-phobic but is the OPPOSITE. She was dying...literally DYING to marry her now-fiance and would work herself into hysterics just thinking or talking about it. She waited "5 long years" but he finally proposed this summer. She only had one other serious boyfriend before him for 7 years and merely flirted with a few men in between.

She is a Gemini Sun with Saturn/Uranus/Neptune in the 5th, Aqua Moon & Pisces Mars in the 7th, Gemini Venus in the 11th...so Venus opp. Uranus, Venus opp. Saturn...

Her parents are the typical stellar role models - "high school sweethearts" and are still happily married after almost 30 years. I think her motivation stems from wanting the same for herself - hence how you're raised plays a big part.

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RoseLily
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posted August 21, 2015 01:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RoseLily     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by margym0o:
I think it's very individual and comes down to the environment in which you were raised, your lifestyle, your "prospects" and really if you've found someone you can actually say "yes" to - as the old saying goes "when you know you know!"

My best girlfriend has a lot of the aspects mentioned as commitment-phobic but is the OPPOSITE. She was dying...literally DYING to marry her now-fiance and would work herself into hysterics just thinking or talking about it. She waited "5 long years" but he finally proposed this summer. She only had one other serious boyfriend before him for 7 years and merely flirted with a few men in between.

She is a Gemini Sun with Saturn/Uranus/Neptune in the 5th, Aqua Moon & Pisces Mars in the 7th, Gemini Venus in the 11th...so Venus opp. Uranus, Venus opp. Saturn...

Her parents are the typical stellar role models - "high school sweethearts" and are still happily married after almost 30 years. I think her motivation stems from wanting the same for herself - hence how you're raised plays a big part.


I hear what you say, and I agree, however as I said before I have a really deep-seated fear of engaging myself, yet my parent are happily married, have been in a relationships since they were 16 years old and I don't think their relationships suffered from any kind of mishaps, they are always happy together they really are a role-model in that way for me.
Yet, I am still scared, but I've also been heavily bullied into primary school and I don't think all of the issues related to that have been resolved yet :/

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starmoon
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posted August 21, 2015 02:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starmoon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
from what i've observed, hard aspects from uranus to a personal planet, uranus-heavy charts (aka aqua-heavy people), or a saturn-heavy chart, with saturn often in 7/8

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