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Topic: commitment-phobia in the charts?
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confusedaseff Knowflake Posts: 580 From: Registered: Feb 2015
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posted August 20, 2015 10:06 PM
hiya just wondering what placements and aspects would make someone a commitment-phobe.. other than just plain geminithanks IP: Logged |
ReadingTheStars95 Knowflake Posts: 663 From: Registered: Jun 2014
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posted August 20, 2015 10:14 PM
I kind of have this problem.. Then again, I could probably say that I am Demi-romantic..Hmm.. I would think hard aspects between Venus/Uranus.. Maybe a strong Pluto, actually. Partly because a fear of abandonment/betrayal.. But.. Also.. It takes quite some time for some Plutonian people to really open up to another.. Maybe even the right kind of Pluto/Venus aspects.. Hmm.. Maybe even a heavy Sagittarius.. I feel Sagittarius has a hard time settling sometimes. Hmmm.. Even though I know some might beg to differ.. I would say Taurus CAN be slow to get into relationships.. Taurus is not afraid to take its time when it needs to.. But.. I don't think Taurus has a fear of commitment, really. IP: Logged |
karenkellybella Knowflake Posts: 94 From: Atlanta, GA, USA Registered: Mar 2015
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posted August 20, 2015 10:16 PM
I've been doing a lot of research on Lilith and I read that Lil sitting pretty in H5 can cause commitment issues as will a virgo moon, but only because the Virgo Moon person will seek perfection that is impossible for any potential mate to attain. IP: Logged |
wheresthemoon Knowflake Posts: 593 From: Texas Registered: Aug 2014
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posted August 20, 2015 10:33 PM
I am a commitment phobe. Partially because I have been put through the ringer, but even so here are the things I would attribute this to: Sagittarius moon conjunct Lilith Venus trine Uranus Venus in 11H Venus opposite Pluto Sun square Uranus Moon opposite Mars I would even say sun square Neptune and Venus trine Neptune, cause Neptune makes it harder to deal with real people as opposed to the fantasy you've concocted of a perfect mate. And also Neptune is elusive and boundless.
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Gemini30 Knowflake Posts: 279 From: Los Angeles Registered: Sep 2014
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posted August 20, 2015 10:53 PM
Saturn in the 5th house. Yikes!IP: Logged |
cchampliss2 Knowflake Posts: 194 From: Registered: Jul 2014
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posted August 21, 2015 12:38 AM
I have a sag Venus. And it's sextile both saturn and jupiter. The idea of being in a long term commitment seems very appealing and I would love that now, but when I was younger, any mention of longterm or committed, made me run for the hills. IP: Logged |
RoseLily Knowflake Posts: 59 From: Registered: Jul 2015
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posted August 21, 2015 01:18 AM
quote: Originally posted by ReadingTheStars95: I kind of have this problem.. Then again, I could probably say that I am Demi-romantic..Hmm.. I would think hard aspects between Venus/Uranus.. Maybe a strong Pluto, actually. Partly because a fear of abandonment/betrayal.. But.. Also.. It takes quite some time for some Plutonian people to really open up to another.. Maybe even the right kind of Pluto/Venus aspects..
Yes, yes and YES, alright? YES! I have a Venus-Uranus opposition, combined with a very strong pluto trine my venus and sextile my moon. Add that a Saturn-Asc conjunction from twelfth. I am petrified by any kind of courtship, relationship, commitment I have to do. It's like someone taking me into jail with no way out. I am always wondering about the "what-ifs", always worrying about all kind of possibility that could possibly happen (seventh house Moon in libra), and I need so much a second way out, that sometimes I don't step in at all and sabotage myself or any kind of opportunity, using the excuse "it wouldn't have worked out anyway" I also have this weird setup of falling for unavailable guy. I can be sure as hell that if I have a crush on someone, he has a GF, he's gay, he's married or his dog just died. (RIP to everyone's dog who died). Sometimes the idea of commitment scares me, other times is the possibility of being wronged, hurted or having too much faith and being backstabbed. However I will have to face Venus-Uranus issue someday, because it IS part of my craddle, and I don't like the idea of simply escaping into pluto or moon without resolving my problems :<. IP: Logged |
theunknown Knowflake Posts: 2185 From: Registered: Dec 2010
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posted August 21, 2015 01:24 AM
venus-jupiter/uranus/pluto
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Gemini30 Knowflake Posts: 279 From: Los Angeles Registered: Sep 2014
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posted August 21, 2015 01:55 AM
quote: Originally posted by RoseLily: Yes, yes and YES, alright? YES! I have a Venus-Uranus opposition, combined with a very strong pluto trine my venus and sextile my moon. Add that a Saturn-Asc conjunction from twelfth. I am petrified by any kind of courtship, relationship, commitment I have to do. It's like someone taking me into jail with no way out. I am always wondering about the "what-ifs", always worrying about all kind of possibility that could possibly happen (seventh house Moon in libra), and I need so much a second way out, that sometimes I don't step in at all and sabotage myself or any kind of opportunity, using the excuse "it wouldn't have worked out anyway" I also have this weird setup of falling for unavailable guy. I can be sure as hell that if I have a crush on someone, he has a GF, he's gay, he's married or his dog just died. (RIP to everyone's dog who died). Sometimes the idea of commitment scares me, other times is the possibility of being wronged, hurted or having too much faith and being backstabbed. However I will have to face Venus-Uranus issue someday, because it IS part of my craddle, and I don't like the idea of simply escaping into pluto or moon without resolving my problems :<.
I see how you feel. I also PURPOSELY fall for unavailable women so i don't have to rely on the true potential relationships that await me. Its weird. Why is that? I thought maybe it was i just didnt want to be tied down, but now maybe it really is a insecurity issue? Like maybe i feel i wont be good enough? Ugh.... Venus opp Moon Venus opp pluto Venus tribe Uranus Venus in the 7th house. Moon conj pluto. IP: Logged |
charlie Knowflake Posts: 3229 From: Registered: Jun 2012
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posted August 21, 2015 04:24 AM
I have Venus 11H sq Uranus, Jupiter, Chiron and Pluto sq Sun, Moon, Mercury. Venus is also conjunct Saturn. I CAN commit until the day I panic and need to smell freedom, at which point I will do anything and everything to get out. I am due to get married next month and I am already feeling strange in my stomach :-/ IP: Logged |
Soltze Knowflake Posts: 337 From: Registered: Mar 2015
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posted August 21, 2015 05:46 AM
quote: Originally posted by Gemini30: I see how you feel. I also PURPOSELY fall for unavailable women so i don't have to rely on the true potential relationships that await me. Its weird. Why is that? I thought maybe it was i just didnt want to be tied down, but now maybe it really is a insecurity issue? Like maybe i feel i wont be good enough? Ugh.... Venus opp Moon Venus opp pluto Venus tribe Uranus Venus in the 7th house. Moon conj pluto.
Yeah I've got a Moon conj Pluto as well. I'm a bit insecure. I never really trust anyone. I can be kind and everything but there is always this voice in the back of my head making me suspicious.´ I always fall in love with unavailable men. And I always get in relationships with people I'm not really in love with....i thank that's my Venus opp Neptune
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hannaramaa Moderator Posts: 10207 From: Registered: Nov 2011
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posted August 21, 2015 06:53 AM
Moon / Uranus Moon / Neptune Venus hard aspect to Saturn (maybe Sun too) Uranus and Neptune in the 7th house (Saturn too) Or the 5th house.IP: Logged |
confusedaseff Knowflake Posts: 580 From: Registered: Feb 2015
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posted August 21, 2015 11:17 AM
well i've got:venus sextile uranus venus sextile neptune venus conjunct pluto and chiron in the 5th house and i'm a commitmentphobe :S IP: Logged |
Madpoe Knowflake Posts: 111 From: New York Registered: Oct 2011
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posted August 21, 2015 12:13 PM
I have Saturn (Gemini) in the 5th house. And been with one man for the last 22 years. 15 of 'em married. Also having Venus in Capricorn (12th House) rx and not playing nice with Uranus (9th H). I've wanted nothing but a committed relationship - but perhaps as an aquarian or moon/pluto conj (IDK) i'd lose myself or the person wouldn't see me as worthy once the got passed my defenses.------------------ Sun Aquarius Rising Aquarius Moon Libra Mercury Pisces Venus Capricorn Mars Taurus IP: Logged |
ScorpieScorp Knowflake Posts: 504 From: USA Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 21, 2015 12:37 PM
quote: Originally posted by theunknown: venus-jupiter/uranus/pluto
Well, I finally figured out why I'm a commitment phobe.. Sun/Uranus, Venus/Jupiter, Venus/Saturn, Saturn/ASC... Oh, let's add Venus Square Mars... IP: Logged |
Gemini30 Knowflake Posts: 279 From: Los Angeles Registered: Sep 2014
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posted August 21, 2015 12:51 PM
Im starting to believe commitment phobia is more due to insecurity issues and abandonment fears. Pluto is strong with this one. Its why breakups are so extremely hard on plutonians, takes a while to heal. Its no wonder they get married later than usual. IP: Logged |
margym0o Knowflake Posts: 520 From: Canada Registered: Jul 2014
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posted August 21, 2015 01:04 PM
I think it's very individual and comes down to the environment in which you were raised, your lifestyle, your "prospects" and really if you've found someone you can actually say "yes" to - as the old saying goes "when you know you know!"My best girlfriend has a lot of the aspects mentioned as commitment-phobic but is the OPPOSITE. She was dying...literally DYING to marry her now-fiance and would work herself into hysterics just thinking or talking about it. She waited "5 long years" but he finally proposed this summer. She only had one other serious boyfriend before him for 7 years and merely flirted with a few men in between. She is a Gemini Sun with Saturn/Uranus/Neptune in the 5th, Aqua Moon & Pisces Mars in the 7th, Gemini Venus in the 11th...so Venus opp. Uranus, Venus opp. Saturn... Her parents are the typical stellar role models - "high school sweethearts" and are still happily married after almost 30 years. I think her motivation stems from wanting the same for herself - hence how you're raised plays a big part. IP: Logged |
RoseLily Knowflake Posts: 59 From: Registered: Jul 2015
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posted August 21, 2015 01:13 PM
quote: Originally posted by margym0o: I think it's very individual and comes down to the environment in which you were raised, your lifestyle, your "prospects" and really if you've found someone you can actually say "yes" to - as the old saying goes "when you know you know!"My best girlfriend has a lot of the aspects mentioned as commitment-phobic but is the OPPOSITE. She was dying...literally DYING to marry her now-fiance and would work herself into hysterics just thinking or talking about it. She waited "5 long years" but he finally proposed this summer. She only had one other serious boyfriend before him for 7 years and merely flirted with a few men in between. She is a Gemini Sun with Saturn/Uranus/Neptune in the 5th, Aqua Moon & Pisces Mars in the 7th, Gemini Venus in the 11th...so Venus opp. Uranus, Venus opp. Saturn... Her parents are the typical stellar role models - "high school sweethearts" and are still happily married after almost 30 years. I think her motivation stems from wanting the same for herself - hence how you're raised plays a big part.
I hear what you say, and I agree, however as I said before I have a really deep-seated fear of engaging myself, yet my parent are happily married, have been in a relationships since they were 16 years old and I don't think their relationships suffered from any kind of mishaps, they are always happy together they really are a role-model in that way for me. Yet, I am still scared, but I've also been heavily bullied into primary school and I don't think all of the issues related to that have been resolved yet :/
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starmoon Knowflake Posts: 1725 From: Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 21, 2015 02:01 PM
from what i've observed, hard aspects from uranus to a personal planet, uranus-heavy charts (aka aqua-heavy people), or a saturn-heavy chart, with saturn often in 7/8IP: Logged |