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Author
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Topic: Capricorn Man Cold
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StelliumH6
Knowflake Posts: 639
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 24, 2015 02:41 PM
  
I said to him, "I want to make you happy." His response to me - "I am the only person responsible for my happiness."
Guess his Venus and Moon.. His Mars is Pisces!IP: Logged |
charlie
Knowflake Posts: 5490
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted September 24, 2015 03:00 PM
He is correct. That's what I'd say too and I have a Cap Moon. He most likely has a problem of some sort and he'll solve it on his own. That's how we are.IP: Logged |
athenaia
Knowflake Posts: 1792
From: USA
Registered: May 2015
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posted September 24, 2015 03:06 PM
-IP: Logged |
StelliumH6
Knowflake Posts: 639
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 24, 2015 03:49 PM
charlie- I am a Cap. Moon as well; and I thought it was heartless. He does not get it, or he does not want to let his emotions show at all.IP: Logged |
StelliumH6
Knowflake Posts: 639
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 24, 2015 03:53 PM
athenaia- I hope he is storing it in his "file box", and understands that I care for him.IP: Logged |
curiouspisces89
Knowflake Posts: 286
From: UK
Registered: Jul 2015
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posted September 25, 2015 02:05 AM
Yes I am a Cap moon too and I think the same as him. So don't worry about it. I don't think we are cold we just don't want to bother people with our own problems and we like to solve problems alone. We never want to seem week too so this makes us keep our emotions inside. All you have to do is showing him that you are there for him and I think over time we become more open  I am sure he knows you care about him IP: Logged |
12muddy
Knowflake Posts: 3075
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted September 25, 2015 02:27 AM
Insensitive at worst, but I get it. In some occasions I've had to say things along those lines because it was the only way I could get my point across. Love, affection...etc... are offers, and a person has the right to either decline or accept. Sometimes it's more complicated, only certain people can make me feel the way I want to feel. IP: Logged |
bananaz
Knowflake Posts: 1026
From: Orlando, FL USA
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted September 25, 2015 03:34 AM
I know several Cap moons (this placement seems to run in my family) and they're not as heartless as they appear. What I find to be the common link between them is the need for respect. Well guess what most people think deters that--weakness. If they show weakness, they lose the respect they crave. Cap mooners need love too. Just give the guy some space, and then try to make him happy without spelling it out. Just make him happy. Words mean nothing to a cap moon. Actions, however, are a different story. IP: Logged |
curiouspisces89
Knowflake Posts: 286
From: UK
Registered: Jul 2015
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posted September 25, 2015 03:56 AM
I totally agree with Bananaz! IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 21731
From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted September 25, 2015 08:35 AM
quote:
Originally posted by 12muddy:
Insensitive at worst, but I get it. In some occasions I've had to say things along those lines because it was the only way I could get my point across. Love, affection...etc... are offers, and a person has the right to either decline or accept. Sometimes it's more complicated, only certain people can make me feel the way I want to feel.
Same here. It's impossible to know what his intentions were with that comment ~ it could be just as athenaia said, or it could mean "back off." He sounds like an Aquarius Venus? IP: Logged |
StelliumH6
Knowflake Posts: 639
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 25, 2015 09:15 AM
Faith- If he meant back off, then that is very rude of him.
I told him his comment was true that his happiness is up to him, and he can do it all. I want to help him out where I can.
Actually his Moon is Aquarius; and Capricorn Venus.
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starmoon
Knowflake Posts: 1828
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 25, 2015 10:37 AM
he sounds smart and capable.IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 21731
From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted September 25, 2015 10:58 AM
quote:
Originally posted by StelliumH6:
Faith- If he meant back off, then that is very rude of him.
I told him his comment was true that his happiness is up to him, and he can do it all. I want to help him out where I can.
Actually his Moon is Aquarius; and Capricorn Venus.
If he SAID "back off" that would be rude. If he genuinely feels that he wants you to keep some distance, that's just the way he feels. But he may not feel that. Like I said, it's impossible to know the meaning of his words, without context. IP: Logged |
unforgiven_soul
Knowflake Posts: 701
From:
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted September 25, 2015 12:50 PM
quote:
Originally posted by StelliumH6:
I said to him, "I want to make you happy." His response to me - "I am the only person responsible for my happiness."
Guess his Venus and Moon.. His Mars is Pisces!
At first sight it sounds rude, but it depends on who's saying it. I think he's going through a hard time and wants to solve his problems by himself. No one can solve anyone's problems, but the person it self. This is not the best way to say it, but it's the truth. I would take it as "this is not the right time to be really attached. I'll reach you as soon as I get better". IP: Logged |
Plutonian_Gal8
Knowflake Posts: 672
From:
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted September 25, 2015 01:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by bananaz:
I know several Cap moons (this placement seems to run in my family) and they're not as heartless as they appear. What I find to be the common link between them is the need for respect. Well guess what most people think deters that--weakness. If they show weakness, they lose the respect they crave. Cap mooners need love too. Just give the guy some space, and then try to make him happy without spelling it out. Just make him happy. Words mean nothing to a cap moon. Actions, however, are a different story.
IP: Logged |
Cappi112
Knowflake Posts: 705
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: May 2015
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posted September 25, 2015 02:39 PM
Most of my serious relationships have been with Cappies, and I am a cappie, so maybe I'm just used to this 'tough love'... but to me, it's not harsh at all - it's just true. You're not responsible for his happiness... No one should be responsible for another human being's happiness. You can do whatever you want to try to make someone happy, but they're gonna feel however they feel. It's like trying to make someone love you. Not going to happen unless they FEEL that way.So I guess I'm not sure what's wrong with his saying that? I think both of the Cap men I dated (and btw, the most serious, reliable relationships of my life were with these men), said that to me at some time or another. They meant it in a loving way - not a cold way. But with Caps, you have to expect a little tough love mixed in with all their passionate love making. Just go with it; don't be too sensitive about it. IP: Logged |
StelliumH6
Knowflake Posts: 639
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted September 25, 2015 04:07 PM
Cappi- Perfect post! 'Tough love mixed with passionate lovemaking.'
I should clarify. There is not a problem he is going through. I said that I want to make him happy because I was "giving in" to something involving him. You know - Sometimes you do things for the ones you love.
Thank you all for your input! I enjoy reading the replies.IP: Logged |
Septembergirl
Knowflake Posts: 445
From:
Registered: Jan 2015
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posted September 25, 2015 07:51 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Faith:
Same here.It's impossible to know what his intentions were with that comment ~ it could be just as athenaia said, or it could mean "back off." He sounds like an Aquarius Venus?[/QUOTE Aquarius Venus. I agree!! IP: Logged |
confusedaseff
Knowflake Posts: 626
From:
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted September 25, 2015 08:04 PM
i'm a cap moon and maybe it's my venus in scorpio but if a guy said that to me i'd be like .... um O.o.. like i get where you're coming from but thats a bit abrasive...
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bansheequeen
unregistered
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posted September 26, 2015 03:37 AM
If he was a cancer or scorpio moon he would have said that phrase with a hidden meaning attached.But I doubt a cap moon would have. He was probably just being matter of fact without realizing it would hurt someone elses feelings. IP: Logged |
bansheequeen
unregistered
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posted September 26, 2015 03:38 AM
quote:
Originally posted by athenaia:
That's their way of saying "I don't want the burden to be on you, don't worry, let me handle this on my own" while they internalize the fact that you made the effort to try to get them to cheer up, they'll store that kind gesture into the file cabinets of their hearts for a long time
I am a cap venus and I have this mentality. I would rather be the one that puts on the burdens so the other person can be happy. IP: Logged |
athenegoddess
Knowflake Posts: 643
From: us
Registered: Sep 2018
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posted September 26, 2015 03:41 AM
I say that sometimes.. I'm a Cap Moon. It usually translates to not being powerfully interested in the other person or feeling they cannot give me what I need... Many people can't anyway.IP: Logged |
Cappi112
Knowflake Posts: 705
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: May 2015
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posted September 26, 2015 04:54 AM
In so many years with sensitive cap dudes, I have learned their knee-jerk response to ANYTHING, even love, is to say the harsh thing. Then to smooth it out. The first one was Cap with Scorpio moon, and his had LAYERS of meaning underneath it when he said the harsh stuff - which eroded the relationship over time because I felt his true resentment there. The most recent is Cap sun with Virgo moon - he just says things the cold way first, then he amends them. In his case, it's almost always just his blunt honesty rather than a sign of underlying issues or not being interested in me. To me this is much more cap-like.IP: Logged |
Plutonian_Gal8
Knowflake Posts: 672
From:
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted September 26, 2015 08:37 AM
Piggybacking off Bananaz, Capricorn/Saturian ppl hold a fear of being perceived as weak. But that comment your guy made (IMO) sounds a touch too cold, especially since you've indicated he isn't going through anything. I assume he's pushing off for some underlying reason but I hope it was just a bad moment and his actions will smooth over that remark! I've had 2 Capricorn Sun/Aquarius Venus men in my life for years (amongst many other Cap men because I love them and attract them) and they are guys of a very few words once things get mushy  And I already know I make them feel awkward but I do it anyway! It cracks me up! But no, I'm an Aquarius Sun/Capricorn Venus so that's why I "get" them and there's very little misunderstanding. My ex-fiance was going through rough transits last year and in all of our 11+ years of being in touch off and on, he shocked me by confiding via text he was hurting and crying and this was a HUGE shock for me!! HUGE! He's Cap/Aqua Venus AND Aqua moon so I knew he'd really hit rock bottom to let his emotions show. But here's the thing, I conveyed my love, support, and words of encouragement. Made it clear I'm here and to let it all out - you'll triumph once the storm goes over. Then I gave him his space. I knew I wouldn't get a lengthy mushy response back. I simply let him be. And once he resumed contact I didn't harp on how he was doing, or reach for a lot of specifics as to why he was hurting. That would've made him think that confiding in me was a mistake: because he showed vulnerability and he would now believe I see him as less than. So just knowing I had his back made a world of a difference and I didn't bring back up that emotional breakthrough he had, because evidently by now he's better and doesn't care to "explain his vulnerability" and issues in depth....
When it comes time to proclaim your love and support, just try to decipher a push off from a deflection with them is all. Deflections are more about "let me say something that makes her know I can handle this". And I've seen women try to reinforce their love and concern with sweet words, which further rattles many Capricorn guys because the mushiness challenges them to reciprocate and it's uncomfortable more often than not. That fear of vulnerability via words gives pause. Actions are always better; practical actions with a healthy dose of romance resonate more than an overflow of mushy stuff.
IP: Logged |
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