posted October 14, 2015 12:45 PM            

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Originally posted by Gabby:
When I like a guy, I mean really like him and want him to be "the one" I will tell him about mistakes others have made in the past, reasons I cut guys off...things in my heart I really hope doesn't do because I don't want to have to cut him off.
I never knew this was a scorpio trait...
Now I'm dating a scorp AC/Venus/Moon/Jupiter/Neptune and I find he's telling me about things girls did that made him have to say, nope she's not going to work. At first I was kind of wondering why he was talking about exes so much....but then I started thinking about it and realized I did the same thing with guys I really liked.
I realize I'm hard to get to open up and I know I'm always watching and testing to see if this is someone I could love forever so when I find someone really special it's like i want to give them "cheat codes" into my heart. I want them to win me over...I don't want to have to cut them off, I don't want them to lose me. The intelligent guys who are really trying to win my heart will listen and take notes. Most guys are not this smart! Lol

So now, I'm kind of happy....I realize he's giving me cheat codes to know how to navigate through his maze and win his game.
So I'm taking notes and paying a lot of attention to what he says....I appreciate his help!

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My current SO does exactly the same thing. He has a legitimately psycho ex girlfriend. It's almost funny now because when he told me about her initially, I remember thinking "Yeah, yeah, the crazy ex card, I know this one." But she was a stalking, meddling, horror trainwreck of an ex who, when finding out about him dating me (by stalking my social media feeds), emailed me pretending to be my sister and telling me he was cheating. Then, she pretended to be ME, and messaged half of his female friends saying that he was a player and a liar. She effectively pitted him and me against each other for the better portion of the entire first 8 months we dated.

He warned me endlessly that her prying into his emails and facebook while they were dating was a deal breaker for him, so when she pretended to be me, he was gone until he found out she was the one who did all those things.

In the process, he mentioned tons of other things that were uncool in his book (flirting with other guys openly, cheating, things that had happened to him).

posted October 14, 2015 12:47 PM            

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Originally posted by DopGang:
Hmmmm...
Ultimately I see this as not the best thing. That's not to say that I'd worry about it much. I just personally count it as more bad than good. I can message you later if you want.

Essentially though, as you would do this to let them know what not to do to end up cut off because it was in your mind that you didn't want things to go wrong and end up heartbroken. It's understandable and I'm not claiming that I'm perfect by any means. It just seems like focusing on "prevention" rather than making good things happen. You see what I'm saying?
It's kind of in line with that "love like you've never been hurt" saying.
You know your boundaries and it just seems. I can't think of the word but as if you set them up and say, "there. This is the box that you're allowed to live in if this is to work".
I hope I'm not coming across too harsh.
You know us Virgo influenced folks.

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posted October 14, 2015 12:51 PM            

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Originally posted by DopGang:
Hmmmm...
Ultimately I see this as not the best thing. That's not to say that I'd worry about it much. I just personally count it as more bad than good. I can message you later if you want.

Essentially though, as you would do this to let them know what not to do to end up cut off because it was in your mind that you didn't want things to go wrong and end up heartbroken. It's understandable and I'm not claiming that I'm perfect by any means. It just seems like focusing on "prevention" rather than making good things happen. You see what I'm saying?
It's kind of in line with that "love like you've never been hurt" saying.
You know your boundaries and it just seems. I can't think of the word but as if you set them up and say, "there. This is the box that you're allowed to live in if this is to work".
I hope I'm not coming across too harsh.
You know us Virgo influenced folks.

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posted October 14, 2015 12:57 PM            

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Originally posted by Cappi112:
My current SO does exactly the same thing. He has a legitimately psycho ex girlfriend. It's almost funny now because when he told me about her initially, I remember thinking "Yeah, yeah, the crazy ex card, I know this one." But she was a stalking, meddling, horror trainwreck of an ex who, when finding out about him dating me (by stalking my social media feeds), emailed me pretending to be my sister and telling me he was cheating. Then, she pretended to be ME, and messaged half of his female friends saying that he was a player and a liar. She effectively pitted him and me against each other for the better portion of the entire first 8 months we dated.

He warned me endlessly that her prying into his emails and facebook while they were dating was a deal breaker for him, so when she pretended to be me, he was gone until he found out she was the one who did all those things.

In the process, he mentioned tons of other things that were uncool in his book (flirting with other guys openly, cheating, things that had happened to him).

He is Scorpio AC and Venus. He basically a scorpio. It's been a hell of a ride. I don't think he got to a point of being able to trust me until just a few months ago after all that crazy.

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posted October 14, 2015 01:01 PM            

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Originally posted by 12muddy:
Hmm I sort of notice the same thing with some I know/used to know, not just in romantic context. It is the one thing that can break the deal. I see it as sending out "warnings" indirectly, and often I quit immediately coz it gets on my nerves. I somehow don't have a problem with the other person saying it upfront like "I would like you to not do this and that, because...etc..." or "You better not do abcd...". Throw in some humor and it's great.

But enough with my rant. I like that you said you're happy. Wish you all the best.

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It feels like it's direct, just because I understand it. I might start saying things like "so I guess I know that's a bad line to cross with you" but in a cute way.
Maybe that would let him know he can talk to me directly I'm getting what he's saying. I want to hear him.
It's funny, since he's doing it I don't feel compelled to do it also like I have in the past....the fact that he's doing it makes me feel safe I know how much he feels for me, it's like he's trying to protect me in his scorpion ways.

posted October 14, 2015 01:05 PM            

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Originally posted by malicefey:
Currently seeing a Scorpio and I definitely went through something much similar. I'm a Venus/Merc/Pluto in Scorp so I can understand.The hint dropping happens alot when it comes to him describing his past experiences that didn't work out. I listened in quite well and I learned. It's subtle but if people can catch on, it'll help alot!

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posted October 14, 2015 01:22 PM            

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Originally posted by DopGang:
But I've done it lots in the past Which is why I feel like I understand it. As you know, we share Pluto/asc and Uranus/nn in Scorpio.

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I kind of think this is maybe a scorp Venus thing...that when this process is used in a way to help someone you care for deeply to not cross those scorpio lines, the ones that are the kiss of death with scorpio love...it's actually a kindness. We cannot help that we are so picky and need very specific kinds of love, at first.
My Pluto is conjunct my Venus, I think that's why I see it as loving not controlling.
I have lines that when crossed I can't turn the damage it's done around, I can't help that the person has permanently lost my heart. I can't reopen my heart to them even if I wanted to.
If I could tell someone how to prevent that and they genuinely listen, we might get past the first stages and be able to move into the next stage, the trusting stage.
That's the stage where I can adapt and want to accept any and all if them, because in that stage my love for them trumps all else....I want to see them shine from the inside out in their ways, not mine!
But if don't get past that first stage, the stage where they have to past my tests and it had to be my way.
If not I will never feel the depth of love for them I want to! I won't be able to love them with all my heart of they don't past through the first stage.

posted October 14, 2015 01:37 PM            

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Originally posted by Liliya:
Scorpios I've been with romantically or as friends never did that. They actually hardly ever talk about past relationships. I only know 1 Scorpio guy (Mars in Virgo, Venus in Cap), who said anything negative about ex ("she hardly ever showered...").

Maybe it's a Plutonic trait? My hubby is Plutonic (Pluto tightly aspecting everything except for Uranus), and he said some things about his ex, that I took a note of and made sure to never repeat

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Ya, i don't necessarily think it's scorpio ppl in generally...
I think it's a Pluto/Venus or scorp Venus trait...it's like our way of helping ppl get past our armour so we can open up and love them the way we want.

posted October 14, 2015 01:47 PM            

Maybe it's a Virgo trait in combination with Scorpio/Pluto?

Virgo (critisize because they care)
Scorpio (deep feelings, being careful)

Talking about flaws before things get too serious to avoid getting hurt.

posted October 14, 2015 01:52 PM            

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Originally posted by DopGang:
It's ok Gabby. I get it. I've been there and in fact went into the very dark side of Pluto. That sucks.
As a reaction to that, I've gone the other way.

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It's funny, I can feel something is touching me deeply enough it's bringing out my knee jerk fears of abandonment, as any relationship does that touches me heart.
I can tell this one might be around long enough that maybe I'll actually be able to work through my fears instead of just feeling them but not having the relationship long enough to get past them.

posted October 14, 2015 01:58 PM            

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Originally posted by Gabby:
Scorpios seems to attract crazy ppl!! Lol

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posted October 14, 2015 02:06 PM            

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Originally posted by Gabby:
It's funny, I can feel something is touching me deeply enough it's bringing out my knee jerk fears of abandonment, as any relationship does that touches me heart.
I can tell this one might be around long enough that maybe I'll actually be able to work through my fears instead of just feeling them but not having the relationship long enough to get past them.

I hate Pluto on my Venus, love always hurts and is full of fear initially...your Venus where is it compared to Pluto? Do they aspect?

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posted October 14, 2015 02:19 PM            

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Originally posted by Belage:
Not all Scorpios do this, but an ex of mine certainly did. I told me what he would do to a woman if she cheated on him. I am not a cheater so he didn't have to worry about that, but the gory details turned me off and I got rid of him.

Other scorpios will not tell you, but I prefer the ones that tell you, as I do appreciate a fair warning. I love scorpios!

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I wouldn't appreciate gory details either, yuck!!
What the guy I'm seeing told me was very mild, just how he was dating a girl and some ppl came up and asked for a ride and he said yes....she cut him off and told the ppl no.
She told him they looked like low class ppl and she wasn't going to help those kinds of ppl. He felt that was cold and heartless and didn't want to be with someone who could be that way.

posted October 14, 2015 02:22 PM            

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Originally posted by DopGang:
Mine is 15 Virgo. 12th house. They don't aspect.

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posted October 14, 2015 02:23 PM            

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Originally posted by theunknown:
maybe it's because I have an aries moon i never got to a point where a Scorp has to warn me. I mean I'd drop them before I think about cheating, because by that time they already bore me and dropping them just make more sense than handling two people at once.

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