posted November 01, 2015 04:00 AM            

Maybe astrology is bad for me, for one reason: I am already a fatalistic person. I have to focus extremely hard on positive things to see the movement forward in my life.

I went through an insane amount of grief and struggle after 2010. I started my Saturn Return, but then an enormous amount of squares and retrogrades happened in my chart, bringing multiple break ups with my long term boyfriend at the time (including everything from him having an emotional - maybe physical - affair to drinking too much and getting involved in hard drugs, to dumping me one second only to ask me back the next... it was a mess.) My cousin died suddenly while running. My jobs laid me off or fired me, over and over. I got extremely sick. My best friend left the city we were living in, my NEW boyfriend over the last year or so became erratic and confusing so I broke it off with HIM, my teacher died, and then after the final lay off in spring (another square, this time involving Pluto and Uranus - I saw it coming too, but didn't know how it would manifest), I left that city and flew to Europe.

Being here has healed a lot of things - it rekindled the most recent break up over the summer, I got new opportunities doing what I love MOST - singing, and I've felt a complete shift (positive) in my happiness and confidence.

But lately, I've felt really tense again. I'm nervous that I have to go through more hard times. No transits in my chart indicated it, but then yesterday I looked closely and saw I have transiting Saturn squaring my venus starting next month.

Things have been healing so well - the last friggin thing I need is another harsh transit to tear me down a peg. I'm not ready for more upheaval; I'm honestly not sure if I can handle it.

THis is purely from an astrological standpoint - things are going relatively well and I haven't had a reason to worry in 5 months about my SO; he's just been supportive and great. But I feel like I cannot trust the Universe right now. I know we are supposed to look at all of this as lessons - but if we're never given the chance to thrive and see the way it is strengthening us fully, how do we ever get there?

tSaturn square Venus is just one thing coming. My friendships have all been a little weird here too lately (I outlined a weird experience with a friend of mine in another thread). What do I do? Expect the worst? Hide out until June?

posted November 01, 2015 05:09 AM            

This is all I keep hearing. My relationship is in good standing, but I feel like I have nothing to look forward to with this coming.

Can someone help shed some light on this, if there is any?

posted November 01, 2015 06:01 AM            

The bright side is...the transit can shake things up if they are issues that weren't worked through. You might feel at that time that the romantic climate has gone out of the window...and be forced to focus on duties or unpleasant tasks necessary. If you handle the tension and don't jump off the boat...the relationship can emerge stronger.

Venus is also related to material goods that give pleasure...like art, the furniture you name it. It could have some finantial implications. It depends on what Venus is doing on the Natal as well. Sign....house.

posted November 01, 2015 06:11 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Soltze:
Look if you start thinking the transit is going to destroy your relationship...you're attracting that to your life.

The bright side is...the transit can shake things up if they are issues that weren't worked through. You might feel at that time that the romantic climate has gone out of the window...and be forced to focus on duties or unpleasant tasks necessary. If you handle the tension and don't jump off the boat...the relationship can emerge stronger.

Venus is also related to material goods that give pleasure...like art, the furniture you name it. It could have some finantial implications. It depends on what Venus is doing on the Natal as well. Sign....house.

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Thanks, I do know that. I think what frustrated me when I read about this, is that my bf and I have just worked through SO much to get to where we are now. I feel like we just went through so many hurdles and difficulties, and we've been so grateful for the past five or six months to finally get to reap the benefits of having dealt with all that. I can't think of anything we haven't talked through, worked through and discussed and we've both been serious about each other lately in a healthy way I've been completely ready for. So, it's just really soon for another cosmic 'shake up.'

Additionally, since i'm not working for very much money right now, I am REALLY scared of any financial hiccups - that could mean having to turn around and go home again.

So, I guess what I'm trying to do is exactly as you said - find some kind of potential silver lining or hear if anyone went through this transit and survived their relationships/ financial problems?

posted November 01, 2015 06:56 AM            

I'm sorry about all the things you've had to go through.

But don't worry ahead of time, that is just harmful to you.

Take a few deep breaths and relax.

What house does Saturn rule? And Venus?

I would assume that your career will be hit most, since Saturn is in the 10H, and with Venus in the 1st, something in the way you come across might be the problem. Perhaps you'll "simply" get sick, and will lose your voice, and won't be able to perform for a while (I think I remember you saying you are a singer?).
Or something along those lines...
Finances could be affected, as well.

Another way of putting it is that responsibilities get in the way of pleasure.
In terms of romantic relationship, it doesn't have to mean that you'll have arguments or problems with your SO, but that one or both of you will have to deal with things (for example: work, or family obligations) that may prevent you from spending as much time together as you would like.

posted November 01, 2015 07:11 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Cappi,

I'm sorry about all the things you've had to go through.

But don't worry ahead of time, that is just harmful to you.

Take a few deep breaths and relax.

What house does Saturn rule? And Venus?

I would assume that your career will be hit most, since Saturn is in the 10H, and with Venus in the 1st, something in the way you come across might be the problem. Perhaps you'll "simply" get sick, and will lose your voice, and won't be able to perform for a while (I think I remember you saying you are a singer?).
Or something along those lines...
Finances could be affected, as well.

Another way of putting it is that responsibilities get in the way of pleasure.
In terms of romantic relationship, it doesn't have to mean that you'll have arguments or problems with your SO, but that one or both of you will have to deal with things (for example: work, or family obligations) that may prevent you from spending as much time together as you would like.

Also, I can assure you that you're not the only person who goes through multiple harsh transits. Tons of other people experience similar things, and that's okay... It's just the way it works.

If you could try and not worry about the upcoming transits, and just focus on what's happening in the present moment, I believe that could be helpful.

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Thank you for this. I definitely know everyone goes through the highs and lows, sometimes I am just afraid my career/relationship are never going to get off the ground if they keep getting hit from all sides, and at this point, I need all the help I can find to keep me positive.

I am a singer, and I took the leap to move to Europe so I could pursue that further (otherwise, I would have stayed in the states), so I'm definitely worried about that getting hit hard.

Since my career stuff is causing my SO and me to be long distance right now, I can already see that Saturn has forced us to not exactly get to be together much in person (but he has been extremely supportive and so far it's working okay, but I do hope it stays temporary).

I just sometimes have a hard time trusting my luck in life. Like, I moved to Europe during the break up from my SO, and I would hate for my being here to put a NEW strain on the relationship. Or for my coming here to be a total waste of time with my professional career.

I'm stressed of course because I'm facing big time auditions in foreign cities in the coming weeks, so maybe it's just that pressure. The performing life is already lonely, so I'm hoping I don't have more punishment ahead for taking this risk than reward.

Saturn rules my 12th house, and venus rules my 6th. My actual Venus is in my 1st house, in Pisces. Saturn itself is in my 9th house, in Scorpio.

Currently 9th house is very impprtant to me bc I moved to foreign lands to pursue my dreams.

And financially, things are already pretty scary since I am trying to make this craziness work.

What's odd is that even though I do feel like this is showing in my career/confidence houses... at the same time I'm going through Jupiter opposite Mars for the duration of the same months. Jupiter square Uranus for the same months too (makes sense since I'm traveling all over the place to try to work)., and also Jupiter trine Sun all the way until August. So I have all this Jupiter happening at the same time Saturn is.

posted November 01, 2015 07:17 AM            

so, maybe Jupiter can save the day for me? Jupiter tends to be what I need most for luck and 'rising above'.

posted November 01, 2015 07:46 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
With Saturn ruling the 12H and Venus ruling the 6H, I think the psychological realm is very affected - your being so stressed out and worrying about the future strikes me as a combination of those energies (12H/6H axis). It's an axis that deals with the life's demands (6H) and with our subconscious mind, where many fears reside (12H). The 12H is also the house where we find faith, or a lack thereof. And that lack of faith, or optimism, can manifest as psychosomatic illness or stress (6H) because your ability to handle life's crises is undermined...

So I think you may be confronted with your own subconscious beliefs and patterns, and may have to reform them in order to optimize your quality of life.

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This is very helpful. And, highly likely. I just feel like I cannot distinguish 'good' from 'bad' this week!

posted November 01, 2015 09:20 AM            

I fear losing my loved ones all the time. I fear failure. I fear financial ruin. I fear all of these things, every day.

posted November 01, 2015 09:35 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Cappi112:
In general, dealing with fear is something I cannot seem to fully get a hold of.

I fear losing my loved ones all the time. I fear failure. I fear financial ruin. I fear all of these things, every day.

It is exhausting right now!!

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posted November 01, 2015 01:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Soltze:
Oh I see why you are worried. You are going through a phase in which you're uncertain about your career.
It's easy for others to talk about people's problems...but there must be somebody who could give you some sound advice. Someone you trust maybe.
So you don't have to bear the psychological pressure alone.

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Thank you.. yes, I need someone to just be very real with me.

I've been feeling very confused over the months about my potential vs. things people are just feeding me.

Tonight I had a long talk with my SO where I admitted to freaking out a little about the kind of career I have, and not wanting it to hurt anything. He was awesome, just reiterated he loves me and we've been stronger than ever (and we see each other soon), so I do feel confident we'll be okay.

But in this business, the artist is often the money maker for agents and houses. I am willingly a commodity to agents so I can have a job - and they can make money. It's a terrifying business in that way, because you never know who genuinely cares about you, vs. who just wants to make money off of you.

And add to that some cultural barriers and being very far from home... and you have this anxious version of me.