posted November 02, 2015 09:51 AM            

My name's Ashley, new user as of today! *waves*
I'm Taurus Sun/Pisces Venus/Leo Moon/Pisces Mars/Scorpio Asc.

The man in question is Capricorn Sun/Pisces Venus/Capricorn Moon/Virgo Mars/Taurus Asc.
Can provide more if need be.

I'm feeling emotionally whiplash from this Cap guy, Anthony. When we're together in person, he's super affectionate, kissing my forehead, holding hands in public, cooking together and etc. We do everything that couples would do. Yet when I told him last week that I felt healed enough to have a relationship/title, he was taken aback/guarded and said, "I'm not sure that I'm wanting or ready for a relationship yet. I like you and really care about you, but I don't want to hurt you." The next day and days since, however, he's continued to be affectionate and so on as if nothing had happened.

Then, last night, he ended up canceling plans with me because a close friend was broken up with. We were on the phone and he started saying how we already act like we’re dating when we’re not, talking every day and stuff, that if he didn’t see me for a week he’d be fine. I was hurt but said I could take it down some notches. He then carried on to say that he should have said something before but didn’t. He said that I was attractive and there was chemistry and everything else but that he didn't want a relationship and didn't want to date me.

I got really upset obviously and said I didn't understand; he said that there was nothing wrong with me, it wasn't that I wasn't good enough, that maybe there was something he had to work through with past relationship and stuff, but not to "hold out on him," that he would hate for me to miss an opportunity with someone else and what if he became interested in someone else down the line. To be honest, I had reached my emotional threshold and starting to cry, which caused him to choke up and that it was "killing him" to hear me cry. He said there could be the possibility that we’d be something, but he doesn’t feel any change right now.

I just don’t understand it. Like, I seriously feel deep down, especially when we’re in person that we do share emotions and such; his nonverbal cues are very loving and caring. Yet he's telling me there's nothing. He wants to be more platonic and still hang out--said he'd love to keep doing what we're doing but he doesn't want to hurt me. But if he still wants to continue everything that we’ve been doing that couples do, how does that not signify something more? He said “I don’t know” a lot, as well. I’m sure part of me is in shock, but I truly feel that it can’t all be me and nothing on his end. I’m usually pretty perceptive and felt nothing “warning” me, so this came as a complete shock.

I want to explain some background that I think affects my situation.

He and I have been friends since early July, though we've known of each other for about a year (we both go to local comic/MTG shop).

He's been single a little over year; was in a 3 year relationship with a girl he was going to propose to, but found out that the last 6mo she'd been emotionally cheating on him through texts/phone calls--ultimately left him for that guy and is still with him. He's 35, she's 25 (same age as me).

I got out of a 3 year relationship a little over a month ago. He was my best friend for 5 years, and unfortunately, though I tried, I never could full get past the "BFF" zone with him emotionally. So, rather than get engaged and feel like I was settling, I let him go to find someone who could fully love him the way he should be.

When I was first single, he offered a lot of comfort, and one night we realized our intense chemistry/attraction for each other--ended up consummating that. He said I was the first person he had done that with since his break up. At the time, however, he had gone on a few dates in the few weeks prior. Everything I said above has happened since.

I've never been into a man who was Capricorn, so I'm a bit lost; I've dated 4 men: Sagittarius, Unknown sign, Pisces, and Cancer (the 3 year one).

Any and all help is appreciated. I'm admittedly new to Astrology in terms of signs other than the Sun. I’m just feeling so devastated and blindsided right now. Thank you!

posted November 02, 2015 10:05 AM            

Your story does sound heartbreaking.

It seems like the Cap in question is saying exactly what he feels (where is his Mercury?)

His feelings may change and he may come to see that he was only taking you for granted. Well I have a Cap sun/moon/Mercury friend who lives with regret over pushing away someone she truly loved, and only realizing later how much she loved him.

Sometimes people need space to have perspective and maybe he was asking you for that space?

Though...if I were to give any advice...it would be, try to drop him from your thoughts and genuinely move on. For all we know, he was serious about not wanting to be in your life that way, and the sooner you can reckon with that, the sooner you can heal.

posted November 02, 2015 10:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
Hi Ashley ~ Welcome to LindaLand!

Your story does sound heartbreaking.

It seems like the Cap in question is saying exactly what he feels (where is his Mercury?)

His feelings may change and he may come to see that he was only taking you for granted. Well I have a Cap sun/moon/Mercury friend who lives with regret over pushing away someone she truly loved, and only realizing later how much she loved him.

Sometimes people need space to have perspective and maybe he was asking you for that space?

Though...if I were to give any advice...it would be, try to drop him from your thoughts and genuinely move on. For all we know, he was serious about not wanting to be in your life that way, and the sooner you can reckon with that, the sooner you can heal.

Wish you the best.

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posted November 02, 2015 12:25 PM            

It doesn't matter how YOU feel, at all, since he is feeling something entirely different but it's in our nature to try and "fix" people into loving us.

I grew up with men around me and was taught early on to LISTEN to them. They may or may not act on some brief, rose colored dream or fantasy they have but will they say they love you? No.

To make my answer slightly more astro-based: my own Cap Moon would play this card if I wasn't into you but want to, kinda, keep you hanging for a while.

Move on and good luck!! Plenty of good men to grab out there

Oh, and to be mean to my own species...we have tendencies to go for material security, power and people with VERY stable-everything...not saying this is not you and not saying this goes for ALL Caps.

posted November 02, 2015 12:41 PM            

I think that his feelings for you are likely to be platonic.And he may be finding your response to have them "upgrade" to romantic attraction- very uncomfortable!

posted November 02, 2015 01:10 PM            

I have cappy moon and Pisces Venus.

To be honest his behaviour is a bit strange and it doesn't match with what he is saying to you. He seems to be scared of the commitment because it looks like he doesn't like the title but the fact is that you are already in a relationship whether he likes that name or not lol. I think there must be something that is making him unsure about you for him to act this way. It might not be you as you, it might be something within him that is stopping him from fully committing to you.

Have you checked his current transits? Pluto is conj my moon and my dsc so all tho I want a relationship I want to be 100% sure that this is what I want before I call it a relationship. This wasn't the case before Pluto tho.

From what you said he went through quite a lot recently with the break up and the possible proposal and betrayal, so I think he probably needs some more time to trust you and to fully commit to you. But there is no guarantee with this.

So it you like him and you have fun with him stay with him and enjoy it. It might turn into something serious eventually. If you can't and you need more commitment from him now then just leave him and you will find someone else who can offer you what you need

posted November 02, 2015 03:35 PM            

Astrology aside, it's true what everyone else has said - if he really wanted you in his life, he wouldn't push you away. My feeling from reading your story is that he probably felt very warm and comforted by your interactions together, you may have even reminded him of his ex and so falling into those patterns with you was easy. Then when it came time to make it "permanent," he panicked and probably realized what he had been doing.

He obviously tried to let you down in the best way he knew how, as confusing as his words may have been. We often aren't very articulate when we're sad or distressed.