posted December 21, 2015 05:20 PM            

I'm guessing it's my Sag moon in stellium that helps me to shake things off pretty easy. The extremely rare times I found myself unable to forgive, I was actually more resentful against myself for not letting it go. (For clarity, I'll add that this means letting go of the resentment, not developing amnesia over it so I could be hurt again.) That's even true of myself, that is when I kept ruminating over something I did at 17 (just remembering it suddenly and feeling bad over it again) I got more angry at myself for not letting it go (in this case I learned from it so I should move on, and thing is I'd easily overlook it had someone else done it instead).

Though it is curious to me about how some easily forgive others but not themselves, while others are the exact opposite. (Similarly, some will be more sympathetic to others than themselves, while others are the exact opposite, and they're probably the same ones, that is the ones who can't forgive others while not accepting any blame probably sympathize with one's self but not others.)

And something else I've also observed is that some people need to blame others in order to avoid blaming themselves. Not just projection (though there's that as well), but they'll even make something up about why it's all someone else's fault to feel better about themselves. When I'm aware of their chart there's always (as far as I can recall offhand at this moment) a prominent Scorpio or Cancer aspect.

posted December 21, 2015 05:31 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I figure a Scorpio or Cancer moon would have the hardest time forgiving. Those two signs remember based on how they feel and if you hurt them, they'll remember that even longer than whatever you did (or they thought you did).

I'm guessing it's my Sag moon in stellium that helps me to shake things off pretty easy. The extremely rare times I found myself unable to forgive, I was actually more resentful against myself for not letting it go. (For clarity, I'll add that this means letting go of the resentment, not developing amnesia over it so I could be hurt again.) That's even true of myself, that is when I kept ruminating over something I did at 17 (just remembering it suddenly and feeling bad over it again) I got more angry at myself for not letting it go (in this case I learned from it so I should move on, and thing is I'd easily overlook it had someone else done it instead).

Though it is curious to me about how some easily forgive others but not themselves, while others are the exact opposite. (Similarly, some will be more sympathetic to others than themselves, while others are the exact opposite, and they're probably the same ones, that is the ones who can't forgive others while not accepting any blame probably sympathize with one's self but not others.)

And something else I've also observed is that some people need to blame others in order to avoid blaming themselves. Not just projection (though there's that as well), but they'll even make something up about why it's all someone else's fault to feel better about themselves. When I'm aware of their chart there's always (as far as I can recall offhand at this moment) a prominent Scorpio or Cancer aspect.

That aside, I've found Capricorns virtually never forget...but they're not likely to hold grudges either (doesn't mean they won't take their memories into account, nor do I mean that they're saints who always take the higher road). And though Virgo may criticize, they seem more willing than many to give second (and third) chances to people.

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posted December 21, 2015 05:38 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
I figure a Scorpio or Cancer moon would have the hardest time forgiving. Those two signs remember based on how they feel and if you hurt them, they'll remember that even longer than whatever you did (or they thought you did).

I'm guessing it's my Sag moon in stellium that helps me to shake things off pretty easy. The extremely rare times I found myself unable to forgive, I was actually more resentful against myself for not letting it go. (For clarity, I'll add that this means letting go of the resentment, not developing amnesia over it so I could be hurt again.) That's even true of myself, that is when I kept ruminating over something I did at 17 (just remembering it suddenly and feeling bad over it again) I got more angry at myself for not letting it go (in this case I learned from it so I should move on, and thing is I'd easily overlook it had someone else done it instead).

Though it is curious to me about how some easily forgive others but not themselves, while others are the exact opposite. (Similarly, some will be more sympathetic to others than themselves, while others are the exact opposite, and they're probably the same ones, that is the ones who can't forgive others while not accepting any blame probably sympathize with one's self but not others.)

And something else I've also observed is that some people need to blame others in order to avoid blaming themselves. Not just projection (though there's that as well), but they'll even make something up about why it's all someone else's fault to feel better about themselves. When I'm aware of their chart there's always (as far as I can recall offhand at this moment) a prominent Scorpio or Cancer aspect.

That aside, I've found Capricorns virtually never forget...but they're not likely to hold grudges either (doesn't mean they won't take their memories into account, nor do I mean that they're saints who always take the higher road). And though Virgo may criticize, they seem more willing than many to give second (and third) chances to people.

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posted December 21, 2015 05:43 PM            

And one reason I tend to cut my mom some slack is her heavy Scorpio/Leo placements. While I do think she should transform already rather than being stuck where she is, I know that what she endured growing up was just too much for her. My placements would've handled it much better, but that's not really possible for her. And while my mother certainly earns a lot of bad karma for herself that she endures already, she is also the bad karma of other people.

posted December 21, 2015 05:58 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Sulkyarcher:
I agree with Cancer.

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posted December 21, 2015 06:49 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Koniucha:
I'm just curious what aspect would be related to forgiving or not forgiving.

I am able to forgive others, but I have a very hard time forgiving myself. It has caused me a lot of anxiety. I will just dwell on something forever and it can consume me. I feel like if I was able to forgive myself, I could be much happier.

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What I have found for myself is that I basically always require resolution in order to forgive others, and even myself.

Like I need for the situation to be resolved, and for the behavior to change actively (whether on my part or the other person's part, or both).

I don't like loose ends, and I will hold onto resentment for decades (as unhealthy as that obviously is) if I feel that I'm owed an apology. A SINCERE apology, not just words.

And, if I can't make amends to someone for my own behavior that bothers me (like I'm not in contact with the person anymore, or they are simply incapable of having a civilized conversation or owning their own part), I require some solitude and time to think about it before I can eventually forgive myself...for deeper issues, but also regarding somewhat mild stuff as well.

This could be due to a few things.

Saturn in Cancer
Saturn trine Pisces Sun
Libra Pluto opposite Aries Venus/Ceres
Sun conjunct "True" BML in H8
Pluto trine Mercury

I would think that Saturn, Pluto, and yeah Cancer and Scorpio would have to do with holding grudges, or not.

For me, Pluto can work in a lovely way. It may cause me to hold a deep grudge for many, many years, but...if I get a sincere apology from the person who hurt me, and their behavior reflects a genuine change, I'm over it like it never happened.

posted December 21, 2015 07:12 PM            

He was thinking so much about a mythical "justice to come"…it's very poetic and beautiful.

His 12th House Neptune is conjunct Venus and opposed to his Moon in Pisces. LOL

http://users.clas.ufl.edu/burt/spaceshotsairheads/DerridaJacquesOnCosmopolitanism.pdf

Personally I think Pisces are the most forgiving sign, if they are mature. All Water Signs have the tendency to have this ideal of emotional devotion and selflessness - to which it's normally hard to live up to. So they can get full of passive aggression.

Virgos have a very hard time to forgive themselves.
Cappis maybe even more.
There can be a frightening tendency of self-punishment there.

posted December 21, 2015 07:13 PM              

My husband has Sun conjunct Venus in Leo, and although he also has 8H Sun, he has Sag Asc, and gets over things without really blinking an eye. Really, he rarely even gets offended.

I mean, he will stand his ground if needed, and occasionally go off on people if they really push it, but he'll go out of his way to avoid people who p*ss him off.

So...I say a well-placed Venus with harmonious aspects would add to one's ability to forgive easily

posted December 21, 2015 07:18 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by thegrinning_cat:

But maybe the 6th House can help us to do it in life, as good as we can.

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That struck a pleasant chord with me, as I have Capricorn Mars in H6, and I feel far more redeemed in my life when I can work in environments that help others.

posted December 21, 2015 07:44 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Koniucha:
I am a Scorpio sun, Cancer moon at 29º. Also moon and Cancer dominant.

I have to learn to forgive myself. It's eating me up.

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Would it help you to do charity work?
Maybe volunteer with premature babies in a hospital, or with the elderly?

Just a thought.
Forgiveness is a process...

posted December 21, 2015 07:49 PM            

Some people I am not compatible with, and we shouldn't talk. But I can honestly wish them well.

Some people I can't think about without my blood pressure going up. So I don't think of them. Or, I have to monitor myself when I think of them.

posted December 21, 2015 07:55 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Koniucha:
I am a Scorpio sun, Cancer moon at 29º. Also moon and Cancer dominant.

I have to learn to forgive myself. It's eating me up.

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I hope you can.

posted December 21, 2015 08:53 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PaulMcFly:
Aw... I want to kiss you

No lady should be too hard on themselves!

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posted December 21, 2015 09:41 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by lundan:
But only because we feel hurt a lot more then the average person so obviously we're going to act a lot more dramatic.

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posted December 22, 2015 01:14 AM            

I may never forget (I usually forget easily though lol, but I learn to memorize more, so here I am learning), but, jeez, I can not hold grudges.

posted December 22, 2015 02:31 AM            

I have:
Moon in Gemini
Mercury in Aries
Mars in Aries

posted December 22, 2015 06:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Violets:
That struck a pleasant chord with me, as I have Capricorn Mars in H6, and I feel far more redeemed in my life when I can work in environments that help others.

It does give the feeling of paying off some sort of perceived karmic debt, even if it's indirect.

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I have Neptune in my 6H. I need to look into that more.