|
Author
|
Topic: Scorpio Men - I don't understand
|
Moonfish
Moderator Posts: 5125
From: Tropical Ocean
Registered: Jul 2011
|
posted January 13, 2016 03:11 PM
  
In terms of "love/relationships", I am specifically talking about Scorpio men with Scorpio Venus. You'd think being a Scorpio myself I would relate, but no, I'm just as confused as most women that try to get involved with these men. Long story short, I had a crush on a Scorpio man (Sun/Mercury/Venus/Pluto) I met at work. We became good friends, shared great conversations, and I thought there was a romantic connection between us. He would tell me things like "I want to protect you" from "Your mom is going to be my future mother in-law". From that point I was positive that we were going to be in a relationship, so positive, that I asked him on a date with no hesitation... Well, at first he said yes but a few days before we were suppose to go on our date something didn't feel right. Before I knew it I get this long message stating that he thinks i'm a wonderful woman, but he feels uncomfortable going out with me.
I was upset, and I felt led on, but my response was cordial. Despite the pain he made me feel I still wanted to be his friend. Years later, I find out that he's been dating all these other women, traveling, dining out, and yet, he felt too uncomfortable to see a movie with me(?)
I know you can't force someone to feel a certain way about you, and that would never be my intention. However, I don't understand what I did to make this Scorpio man so closed off to me... yet he has no problem being with other people. We haven't talked for a while, but I know that even now he's been talking a lot with this other girl... I guess I just need closure.  IP: Logged |
strawberryaa
Knowflake Posts: 31
From:
Registered: Dec 2015
|
posted January 13, 2016 03:17 PM
My first boyfriend had Venus in Scorpio and he was sooo confusing to me. At first he was all about me, texting me all the time, talking about the future, making plans and then suddenly he was so cold, he stopped talking to me and didn't explain to me anything... That was our "brake up" I guess. This made me really insecure about myself, because I thought that there is something wrong about me. :/IP: Logged |
DopGang
Knowflake Posts: 1761
From:
Registered: Jun 2015
|
posted January 13, 2016 03:22 PM
Well, I have some experience with Venus in Scorpio (women).
Not that they are all the same etc BUT I think sometimes they begin to develop feelings but are afraid to let them happen. They fear being hurt. To them it CAN feel like a life or death matter, not just possible pain. So they are extra careful.
If I were in your shoes I would just be patient and stick this out. Continue to be a great friend. Your dependability will only impress him. Other things are possible but this is what I personally feel. IP: Logged |
CosmiqPhuz
Knowflake Posts: 479
From: Lititz, PA, USA
Registered: Jan 2014
|
posted January 13, 2016 03:23 PM
Talk about mixed signals, jeez. Wish I knew what to tell you. I guess people pick up on the scorpio venus vibes and think it's specifically for them. A couple people have felt I led them on, but in reality I never intended to. Venus is about love, but it's also about friendship and "like". Mix that with the intense sexual scorpio and that could be the reason they can be misread. Although, I don't blame you. He gave pretty clear signs of interest. With his sun and venus in the same sign, he could be more superficial/flirty than the typical venus in scorpio though. His moon could make a difference as well. IP: Logged |
Moonfish
Moderator Posts: 5125
From: Tropical Ocean
Registered: Jul 2011
|
posted January 13, 2016 03:41 PM
Hi strawberryaa,
I'm sorry to hear that I truly feel your pain. Venus Scorpio is definitely a placement that causes one much heartache whether it be to the owner or the person they get involved with. I hate to say it, but I think they're probably the worst people to fall in love with. IP: Logged |
Moonfish
Moderator Posts: 5125
From: Tropical Ocean
Registered: Jul 2011
|
posted January 13, 2016 03:47 PM
Hi DopGang,
That definitely makes sense  and with that in mind I can't blame them. At the same time, I wish they understood that it's wrong to pull someone in just to leave them in the abyss. Emotionally, I can relate but Mentally, breaking someone's heart just to protect your own is so messed up. IP: Logged |
Moonfish
Moderator Posts: 5125
From: Tropical Ocean
Registered: Jul 2011
|
posted January 13, 2016 04:03 PM
Hi CosmiqPhuz,
I understand what you mean, they definitely can express themselves so passionately that people unintentionally take it for something it's not. I've told myself in the past that I was at fault for not realizing that sooner. However, as an adult there are some things you just don't do or say without the knowledge of how that could affect that person. I just try to tell myself that with every placement there is evolution needs to take place. IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 2002
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted January 13, 2016 04:53 PM
I love Venus in Scorpio men. I perfectly understand them, their intensity, their need to pull back until they are ready. I have Saturn in Scorpio, so none of these men have been able to hurt me. I see thru all the game playing and it doesn't affect me at all. I guess Saturn gives me the upper hand. I could see myself with a Venus in Scorpio man for the long haul, but I will never pursue one. I would let them pursue me. It's funny that now that I am older, I love everything Scorpio. Saturn does get better with age. IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 2002
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted January 13, 2016 05:15 PM
As with every aspect, there is someone with a very complimentary aspect who can deal with it and make it work.For instance, if a woman has Mars or sun in Scorpio, possibly conjunct a Scorpio venus guy, it would be great! They would understand each other pretty well. So if this Venus in Scorpio man is playing game with you and getting away, check out what aspects you are making to his Venus. Productive aspects such as trine, sextile and even conjunctions can be very bonding. Square or oppositions aspects, watch out! IP: Logged |
Moonfish
Moderator Posts: 5125
From: Tropical Ocean
Registered: Jul 2011
|
posted January 13, 2016 05:38 PM
Hi Belage,
I am a Scorpio w/ Scorpio Mars & Pluto in the 8H.
His Scorpio Venus conjuncts my stellium between 3-5degs. I do understand in terms of being guarded to protect yourself. But my feelings are that this is not about waiting, this is about him rejecting me whether it'd be based on his fears or faded interests. Now I don't have a crystal ball but my instincts tell me he's not coming back. I guess it's my Libra Venus that doesn't respond well to his coldness. I need someone to show that they care about me as much as I do about them. For me, love must be equal. Hmm, Saturn in Scorpio definitely sounds humbling. I'm glad there's a placement that can deal with Venus Scorps. IP: Logged |
misspriss
Knowflake Posts: 87
From: London
Registered: Nov 2015
|
posted January 13, 2016 05:57 PM
Hi Moonfish.I am also a Scorpio woman and had problems with a Scorp sun / venus / merc / pluto also. He was just so hard to understand so I know how you feel. I can't offer any amazing advice, but a hug and some understanding. I personally have never felt so confused in my life, so I get what you mean xx IP: Logged |
Moonfish
Moderator Posts: 5125
From: Tropical Ocean
Registered: Jul 2011
|
posted January 13, 2016 06:07 PM
Hi misspriss,
Oh no, you too? Sorry to hear that!
Thank you, it's nice know someone who's been in the same exact situation.
...Oh well, at least now I know what to stay away from.
I appreciate your kind words, Thanks again <3IP: Logged |
Starry~*
Knowflake Posts: 434
From: New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2011
|
posted January 13, 2016 06:44 PM
Sorry to hear you've gotta go through this stuff.I'm a Libra sun/moon/mars but with Scorpio ASC/pluto/merc/venus. My boyfriend is a Scorpio sun/saturn conjunct but an 8H Pluto t-square between moon and mars. It's true what Belage said. Honestly, I thought I would never be able to find someone who can deal with my passions and depth. I always thought I had to tone some of that stuff down if I wanted to be with someone and make them happy. That is, until I met my SO. It's funny because he said that I tend to be "hot and cold" from time to time...and I'm not even the true scorpio over here. But he is very understanding. He has even admitted that I remind him of himself at times. Generally speaking, I must say scorps usually know what they want. The problem arises when they don't, or isn't sure, so they give off the wrong signals to people. When the inner self is conflicted, they are just a mess. IP: Logged |
4lifephrases
Knowflake Posts: 562
From: London, United Kingdom
Registered: Nov 2010
|
posted January 13, 2016 07:00 PM
I am sure there is PART 2 to this and all this Scorpio Sun Woman / Scorpio Man ... would either move on or have amazing relationship. It is no coincidence there are 3 people in last 10 days have posted similar stories. IP: Logged |
PixieJane
Moderator Posts: 7487
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010
|
posted January 13, 2016 07:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Moonfish:
I guess it's my Libra Venus that doesn't respond well to his coldness. I need someone to show that they care about me as much as I do about them. For me, love must be equal. Hmm, Saturn in Scorpio definitely sounds humbling. I'm glad there's a placement that can deal with Venus Scorps.
That's probably more your Pisces moon than Libra Venus. At least I have a Libra Venus and Sag moon and tend to shrug these things off. Btw, I'm with a Scorpio Venus (and Mars) now and it works out great. Though at first I was leery of her Scorpio placements and Cancer moon fearing someone obsessive and suffocating (and I had bad experiences with others with such placements) but she wasn't. Maybe it's her age, maybe it's her Sag sun and Gemini ASC, maybe it's my 4H Scorpio Jupiter. It's ironic that most fantasize about a lover with Scorpio placements until they get it and find the reality quite different, whereas I who shied away from people with those placements (the fantasies others have of suffocating stalkers are nightmares to me--I literally had a nightmare once where Edward the vampire was romantically interested in me rather than Bella and in the nightmare I was despairing that he couldn't be killed, stopped, or escaped from and contemplating suicide for myself) only to find that with a little work it can work out great. Again, I don't know if it's her maturity and other placements that modify it. Though that said, there are traits and personal history she has that I associated more with her Sag sun and Gemini ASC that others here would claim are manifestations of her Scorpio Venus. IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 2002
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted January 13, 2016 09:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Moonfish:
Hi [b]Belage,
I am a Scorpio w/ Scorpio Mars & Pluto in the 8H.
His Scorpio Venus conjuncts my stellium between 3-5degs. I do understand in terms of being guarded to protect yourself. But my feelings are that this is not about waiting, this is about him rejecting me whether it'd be based on his fears or faded interests. Now I don't have a crystal ball but my instincts tell me he's not coming back. I guess it's my Libra Venus that doesn't respond well to his coldness. I need someone to show that they care about me as much as I do about them. For me, love must be equal. Hmm, Saturn in Scorpio definitely sounds humbling. I'm glad there's a placement that can deal with Venus Scorps.[/B]
I am curious. Do you have planets in your natal making stressful aspects to your Scorpio Stellium? Also, more importantly, do you know in which house of your man's chart his Scorpio Venus and your stellium fall? if these planets do not fall in 5th, 7th or 8th house, he may not feel the emotional intensity you would expect from a Scorpio Venus. IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 3090
From: AC-Neptune Quintile AMOR
Registered: Sep 2014
|
posted January 13, 2016 10:53 PM
You know what I think when it comes down to it is about fear of betrayal, of getting hurt, issues with trust and personal insecurities.Its like when you have a very good strong chemistry all those fears get heightened as well as your insecurities and not feeling good enough for the other, when there is a lot at stake you may not know how to act around the other and your fight or flight instincts kick in and that in combo with personal insecurities and not feeling good enough can keep someone at a distance and avoidant. Leading to a lot of people talking themselves out of intense relationships and is why so many people end up with people with synastries and composites that are less mind blowing although still nice bc the energy is more manageable and less risky. @Moonfish: I feel perhaps you were too much his type and he rather not delve into that and keep it light serial dating other girls....OR he liked a lot your personality hence the comments but you were not his type. IP: Logged |
hypatia238
Moderator Posts: 3090
From: AC-Neptune Quintile AMOR
Registered: Sep 2014
|
posted January 13, 2016 11:06 PM
@Moonfish: Why did you not follow up with his response by asking why "uncomfortable"?You are an amazing girl though and I know in my heart you will find someone kind that will value you greatly. IP: Logged |
4lifephrases
Knowflake Posts: 562
From: London, United Kingdom
Registered: Nov 2010
|
posted January 14, 2016 04:34 PM
I have Libra Venus too. This might be generalization but do others think that there is a tendency for Scorpions that we need other to also show lots of interest and reassurance. Because of that we are both Scorpio Sun it might be rather difficult to make it any headway. bit like
You first , No You first.
You first, No You first.
Nobody ends up making move or reassure enough. Just a thought ? IP: Logged |
Elysia
Knowflake Posts: 573
From:
Registered: Aug 2015
|
posted January 15, 2016 10:13 AM
Okay, we really do need a Scorpio Support Group forum.Jokes aside, Moonfish - here's some hugs for you. XXX IP: Logged |
Fabulous
Knowflake Posts: 57
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
|
posted January 15, 2016 10:58 AM
I read somewhere that a two-Scorpio pairing is either heaven or hell. I think it could be heaven only if both Scorpios are highly evolved. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
