posted January 30, 2016 07:15 AM            

What they say on cafe astrology:
Generally, one of life's lessons for these people is to learn to discriminate more and to get in touch with what they truly want and need.

And

Because these people value harmony, they may find themselves giving in to others too easily, especially in the first half of life. Resentment is possible, as they feel that they are the ones who seem to do all the acquiescing. There can be a distinct tendency to become friends (and lovers) with people too readily, simply because there is a strong need for approval and a hunger for receiving affection. As such, these people may get involved with people who seem to really like them, and they don't consider whether they actually like them back! It's somewhat of a weakness, as these people are very charmed by the idea that someone seems to really like them and appreciate them.

Someone who really did his best to conquer me. I thought:" well, he is nice so let's do this!" He was not MY choice. I think this is awful or almost painful. It happened too many times. A few years back it dawned on me. "What do I desire?" In my case it even went so far that I sexually satisfied someone because I felt pity for him. That's bad, so ...ugh.

posted January 31, 2016 05:06 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sylven:
Any of you guys have this placement? I have. I have read something which rings very true in my case and was wondering if any of you have it too?

What they say on cafe astrology:
Generally, one of life's lessons for these people is to learn to discriminate more and to get in touch with what they truly want and need.

And

Because these people value harmony, they may find themselves giving in to others too easily, especially in the first half of life. Resentment is possible, as they feel that they are the ones who seem to do all the acquiescing. There can be a distinct tendency to become friends (and lovers) with people too readily, simply because there is a strong need for approval and a hunger for receiving affection. As such, these people may get involved with people who seem to really like them, and they don't consider whether they actually like them back! It's somewhat of a weakness, as these people are very charmed by the idea that someone seems to really like them and appreciate them.

Someone who really did his best to conquer me. I thought:" well, he is nice so let's do this!" He was not MY choice. I think this is awful or almost painful. It happened too many times. A few years back it dawned on me. "What do [b]I desire?" In my case it even went so far that I sexually satisfied someone because I felt pity for him. That's bad, so ...ugh.

It would be nice to hear other stories and how and when did the awareness come? [/B]

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i dont have the aspect, but I suspect the reason is because of the projection of one planet and the owning of the other. you may project your venus in the other, meaning that the satisfaction of your desires, your pleasure, your selfish need to enjoy is projected, the other person get that (pleasure). you instead give the moon, the nurturing (giving the other pleasure because of emotional feelings, either companssion) do you have any aspect to neptune to your moon or venus or mars?

one way to go around this aspect venus-moon is to really try to own both.. you need to nurture, but you also have the right to your own sense of beauty and joy. venus it is about enjoyment and pleasure and likes, which determine what you like, what you find beautiful.. you may find that the people you like physically or romantically are not the one who nurture you or viceversa... is owning both sides that would avoid the problem.. easier said than practiced..

but this is life lesson for those having the aspect..

posted January 31, 2016 07:06 AM            

Very interesting! Projection yes! Life is all about projection. You could be right ( i need to ponder on it) I do feel the ones I find physically attractive are not so much nurturing. The ones who do nurture me I don't find physically attractive. So I guess one will end up with either of them. I have done a lot of self work through the years and currently am mastering more the I AM. It is indeed easier said than done.

Hmm, Neptune is quintile my Moon.
Moon is trine Uranus, sextile Chiron and (widely) square Saturn, trine MC and Mercury and inconjunct Mars. So Moon is pretty aspected. In the fifth house.

Venus is sextile Uranus and trine Chiron
Mars is also sextile Saturn, Sesquiquadrate Neptune and a very wide square with Uranus (9)

posted January 31, 2016 09:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sylven:
Thanks!!!

Very interesting! Projection yes! Life is all about projection. You could be right ( i need to ponder on it) I do feel the ones I find physically attractive are not so much nurturing. The ones who do nurture me I don't find physically attractive. So I guess one will end up with either of them. I have done a lot of self work through the years and currently am mastering more the I AM. It is indeed easier said than done.

Hmm, Neptune is quintile my Moon.
Moon is trine Uranus, sextile Chiron and (widely) square Saturn, trine MC and Mercury and inconjunct Mars. So Moon is pretty aspected. In the fifth house.

Venus is sextile Uranus and trine Chiron
Mars is also sextile Saturn, Sesquiquadrate Neptune and a very wide square with Uranus (9)

I will ponder on your thoughts. Thanks again!

---

as both venus & moon aspect chiron and chiron heal what they cannot heal in themselves, it makes sense to own more your moon than your venus. venus is more "selfish" and have no need of satisfying the other, but herself. she attracts what she desires by charm. having chiron aspecting it may make difficult to feel worth of deserving such joy... those things work an uncouncious levels and it may help, either if sound like superficial solution to send messages to the unconscious. like writing in some place you see often "I deserve pleasure" . honor the goddess and one way of doing is is start connecting with that energy. one book I would recommend by Liz Greene, "inner planets" very interesting chapter on venus.

best wishes

posted January 31, 2016 12:58 PM            

It used to be alright while i was a teenager... i entered a long-term relationship even though i wasn't in love with the person, but they were. Eventually i grew to like being with him, although i probably took him for granted at times. I decided to end the relationship 4 years later, telling the man that i don't think i've ever really loved him. It broke his heart, but it wasn't fair for us to keep going together, also i was very young so this outcome was not surprising.

Later, in my adolescence, i had the chance to be with someone i really desired... sadly it was a very boring experience for me, we couldn't really connect emotionally; he is deprived of intense emotions and although i understand very well where he is coming from i would rather have something different.

A few months later, i met a karmic lover, who was much more intense and fun to be with, but it took me many months to actually fall for him. Once that happened "the spell" was broken - i was vulnerable, seeking to satisfty the other person, to meet his expectations, to be always there for him... The tables totally turned around, i was giving more of myself than i was receiving, i was neglecting myself in the name of "our happiness", or his, perhaps? Anyway, this was a big mistake for me and it backfired, as the more i wanted to be with him the more he was slipping away... until, finally, he broke it off and i was left completely empty inside.

I have also made the mistake to be with someone sexually, disregarding my personal feelings at the time, just so we can get it over with, or to remain on good terms. We really need to discriminate more, otherwise we are easily (ab)used by others.

In order to remain the "nice person" and avoid arguments i have always tried to meet everyone else's expectations (especially my parents'). In recent years this has really started backfiring, even my parents now treat me with disrespect because they were so used to control me. It gets the worst out of them when i no longer comply and they always try to present me in a bad light infront of other people

I have always felt exteme guilt in my gut whenever i would easily agree to other people's suggestions that were not in my favour. I only now find where this is originating from and why i keep being challenged with it, as i learn more about it through astrology.

posted January 31, 2016 03:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by outofideas:
Hey, i also have this aspect and in opposing sings as well - my Venus (and Sun) is in Sagittarius and my Moon in Gemini - which makes me a very confused person altogether.

It used to be alright while i was a teenager... i entered a long-term relationship even though i wasn't in love with the person, but they were. Eventually i grew to like being with him, although i probably took him for granted at times. I decided to end the relationship 4 years later, telling the man that i don't think i've ever really loved him. It broke his heart, but it wasn't fair for us to keep going together, also i was very young so this outcome was not surprising.

Later, in my adolescence, i had the chance to be with someone i really desired... sadly it was a very boring experience for me, we couldn't really connect emotionally; he is deprived of intense emotions and although i understand very well where he is coming from i would rather have something different.

A few months later, i met a karmic lover, who was much more intense and fun to be with, but it took me many months to actually fall for him. Once that happened "the spell" was broken - i was vulnerable, seeking to satisfty the other person, to meet his expectations, to be always there for him... The tables totally turned around, i was giving more of myself than i was receiving, i was neglecting myself in the name of "our happiness", or his, perhaps? Anyway, this was a big mistake for me and it backfired, as the more i wanted to be with him the more he was slipping away... until, finally, he broke it off and i was left completely empty inside.

I have also made the mistake to be with someone sexually, disregarding my personal feelings at the time, just so we can get it over with, or to remain on good terms. We really need to discriminate more, otherwise we are easily (ab)used by others.

In order to remain the "nice person" and avoid arguments i have always tried to meet everyone else's expectations (especially my parents'). In recent years this has really started backfiring, even my parents now treat me with disrespect because they were so used to control me. It gets the worse out of them when i no longer comply and they always try to present me in a bad light infront of other people

I have always felt exteme guilt in my gut whenever i would easily agree to other people's suggestions that were not in my favour. I only now find where this is originating from and why i keep being challenged with it, as i learn more about it through astrology.

It is a big lesson for me, as i also have many other supporting aspects that are supposed to force me in to shaping my own identity and teach me to stand up for myself, without thinking of other's well-being first.
As [b]nordicsoul suggested, for example, i also have Neptune square Mars.[/B]

---

my moon is in gemini too, which degree is yours?

sorry to hear that. I do hope in some time you will share the good news of a more renewed you, who is not willing to be taken for a ride..

best wishes

posted February 02, 2016 12:43 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by nordicsoul:
as both venus & moon aspect chiron and chiron heal what they cannot heal in themselves, it makes sense to own more your moon than your venus. venus is more "selfish" and have no need of satisfying the other, but herself. she attracts what she desires by charm. having chiron aspecting it may make difficult to feel worth of deserving such joy... those things work an uncouncious levels and it may help, either if sound like superficial solution to send messages to the unconscious. like writing in some place you see often "I deserve pleasure" . honor the goddess and one way of doing is is start connecting with that energy. one book I would recommend by Liz Greene, "inner planets" very interesting chapter on venus.

best wishes

NS

---

posted February 02, 2016 01:25 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by outofideas:
Hey, i also have this aspect and in opposing sings as well - my Venus (and Sun) is in Sagittarius and my Moon in Gemini - which makes me a very confused person altogether.

It used to be alright while i was a teenager... i entered a long-term relationship even though i wasn't in love with the person, but they were. Eventually i grew to like being with him, although i probably took him for granted at times. I decided to end the relationship 4 years later, telling the man that i don't think i've ever really loved him. It broke his heart, but it wasn't fair for us to keep going together, also i was very young so this outcome was not surprising.

Later, in my adolescence, i had the chance to be with someone i really desired... sadly it was a very boring experience for me, we couldn't really connect emotionally; he is deprived of intense emotions and although i understand very well where he is coming from i would rather have something different.

A few months later, i met a karmic lover, who was much more intense and fun to be with, but it took me many months to actually fall for him. Once that happened "the spell" was broken - i was vulnerable, seeking to satisfty the other person, to meet his expectations, to be always there for him... The tables totally turned around, i was giving more of myself than i was receiving, i was neglecting myself in the name of "our happiness", or his, perhaps? Anyway, this was a big mistake for me and it backfired, as the more i wanted to be with him the more he was slipping away... until, finally, he broke it off and i was left completely empty inside.

I have also made the mistake to be with someone sexually, disregarding my personal feelings at the time, just so we can get it over with, or to remain on good terms. We really need to discriminate more, otherwise we are easily (ab)used by others.

In order to remain the "nice person" and avoid arguments i have always tried to meet everyone else's expectations (especially my parents'). In recent years this has really started backfiring, even my parents now treat me with disrespect because they were so used to control me. It gets the worse out of them when i no longer comply and they always try to present me in a bad light infront of other people

I have always felt exteme guilt in my gut whenever i would easily agree to other people's suggestions that were not in my favour. I only now find where this is originating from and why i keep being challenged with it, as i learn more about it through astrology.

It is a big lesson for me, as i also have many other supporting aspects that are supposed to force me in to shaping my own identity and teach me to stand up for myself, without thinking of other's well-being first.
As [b]nordicsoul suggested, for example, i also have Neptune square Mars.[/B]

---

Thank you so much for your beautiful and open piece of writing!!

Ugh, I totally hear ya!! I also experienced the parents thing. When I told them I wanted to get married (with someone I hardly knew) they said:" well, if you want to do that this way you got to do it our way!" Like okay ... wtf?! Parents meant well but being extremely old fashioned about this. I just felt like getting married because it was possible. I did not think it through (would not do that again ever). So the wedding (small) was how they wanted it. With friends of them and I really didn't like it. But... lying to myself I did back then. Ugh (cannot stop using that word) it's just so awful. How we disregard ourselves. I used to get under snowed in communication and one day I was so fed up with that that I can still to this day be so assertive telling them loudly:" HEY I WAS TALKING!" Haha ... it's just the way it goes when you have been invisible for years. I still feel I am invisible most of the time though, in all kind of ways.
Back on subject. So you have your moon in Gem?! Beautiful! I love Gem Moons! My MC is 10 and Mercury is 14 Gem. Aqua Moon also 10 and Venus 6 Leo (in 5th/11th). So do you also have experience with foreigners, because your Venus in Sag in 9th? Did you also have this problem with siblings? Since your moon is in 3rd?
I just got carried away on romantic spells more than once. Sometimes it just felt like "oh I can learn to be in love with this person" Somehow I am very good at it too! Because it always happend very fast! Skilled I am

Beautiful of your body to let you know what you are doing. Guilt in your gut. I would thank your body for letting you know all these years!! Amazing and sweet!

It's also very funny. There is one man whom I really really really desired. Like ALL OF HIM!!! So attractive and irresistible but ... emotional not available! WHAT?!! I will love him anyway! It's really one or the other right? Jeez!!

You wrote they were so used to control me. It gets the worse out of them when i no longer comply and they always try to present me in a bad light infront of other people GOOD FOR YOU!!! It's btw not very pretty as parents to present your child in a bad light in front of others. Did you talk to them about this? They do it completely unconsciously I hope? Sad, it's just very sad. Some people just don't know how else to react because they are not in contact with themselves. They don't really love themselves.

posted February 03, 2016 03:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by outofideas:
My Gemini Moon is at 6 degrees, in 3rd house, if that's of any importance

Thank you for the kind words, nordicsoul, i have been learning or realising a lot about myself with the help of astrology, and will definitely aim to renew myself for the better.

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I just asked about the degree to see if our moons were conjunct..but they are not.. mine is at the end of gemini...

posted February 03, 2016 04:41 PM            

I'm surprised this topic is not slightly more popular!

So, regarding my parents, it's just their personalities and our environment here enforcing this immature attitude in them towards me. I am kind of used to it and in most cases it would get better if the current circumstances are beneficial to them. If not, well, i will be facing a lot of opposition

Oh, i can also relate to sometimes being invisible and i don't usually talk much, unless i feel comfortable in a company of people or with a person. However, it has often been the case that i would get interrupted or ignored with a change in topic by someone, who, i suppose, prefers to have the upper hand in a conversation. It has annoyed me, but as it often turns out, these people just didn't deserve my attention at the time Unfortunately it can be almost taken to the extremes where i am just mostly listening and would lose interest in communicating altogether.

As to my Venus in Sag in 9th - i definitely have many contacts with foreigners and my most precious loving relationship was with a foreigner. Although it was great, it couldn't last long because the situation was quite complicated.
I have no siblings - brothers or sisters - so maybe i'm lucky in that respect

I suppose romantically, it would be best if we could find a partner with whom we easily own both aspects in a balanced way, as nordicsoul has suggested.

posted February 04, 2016 01:15 AM            

Be back later.

posted February 04, 2016 01:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sylven:
I'll be back later with more but needed to comment on the invisible thing. The invisible bit happens more in communication than over all invisibility.

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Yes, that was my point as well.

quote:

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Originally posted by Sylven:
When for instance I have the answer to someone's question, they asked the question out loud randomly. I tell them but they don't (wanna) hear. I leave it and shrug. Then 10 minutes later they find out the answer, sometimes after hard work haha and then they say:" aah!!! that's the answer!"

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Haha, i have also been in many similar situations. In some cases i have been simply ignored, in others it feels like people don't (want to) believe me or just don't know how to respond and would rather first see how things will unfold or what they would find on their own. Other times i just let the other person find on their own, without me telling them anything, and after they have a result i just smirk to myself and i'm like "yep, i thought so."

Something else i find very annoying - people repeating my words as if they are their own or as if they came up with them in the first place. Now that i do not appreaciate!

quote:

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Originally posted by Sylven:

How is it with no siblings? My daughter has no siblings. She is a Sag too btw.

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It's never been a problem for me, i've never felt the "need" for a sibling. I wouldn't mind having one or two, however i have no idea what that would be like But i have definitely been fine on my own.

I know of 2 other (male) Sags - one of them has a brother, the other one a sister.
The former surely now appreciates his younger brother, as he is being supported by him financially. As the older brother, he calls the shots, so to speak, and would always offer his opinion, whether bad or good Sometimes, he may be trying to take the role of the father, who needs his son to take care of him in ways

posted February 05, 2016 12:39 AM            

quote:

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So, regarding my parents, it's just their personalities and our environment here enforcing this immature attitude in them towards me. I am kind of used to it and in most cases it would get better if the current circumstances are beneficial to them. If not, well, i will be facing a lot of opposition

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Huh, the environment?

quote:

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Oh, i can also relate to sometimes being invisible and i don't usually talk much, unless i feel comfortable in a company of people or with a person. However, it has often been the case that i would get interrupted or ignored with a change in topic by someone, who, i suppose, prefers to have the upper hand in a conversation. It has annoyed me, but as it often turns out, these people just didn't deserve my attention at the time Unfortunately it can be almost taken to the extremes where i am just mostly listening and would lose interest in communicating altogether.

---

quote:

---

As to my Venus in Sag in 9th - i definitely have many contacts with foreigners and my most precious loving relationship was with a foreigner. Although it was great, it couldn't last long because the situation was quite complicated.

---

quote:

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I suppose romantically, it would be best if we could find a partner with whom we easily own both aspects in a balanced way, as nordicsoul has suggested.

---

posted February 05, 2016 12:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by charlie:
I have Cancer Venus 11H opp. Cap Moon 5H.
What I have noticed is that I only seem to attract people that fall on the midpoint which is Libra/Aries. It sorta balances my insane self out. ALL my boyfriends and lovers have had prominent Aries in them and atleast 90% of my friends have been/are Libra.

I have never really had a problem with loving the wrong man. I have never been with the wrong man since I consider them all having been right regardless of how long we were together. They all served a purpose in my growth.

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Hi Charlie! Thanks for your comment!

I haven't experienced that in such a way, the midpoint. For me that would be 8 Taurus. I don't meet many of them or with planets there. Scorpio though ... Someone's mars, someone's pluto, someone's Moon ...
Are there other points or planets in Aries/Libra in your chart?

posted February 14, 2016 06:53 PM            

I often find myself trying to adjust to other's plans and desires. More often than not i let others make choices for me, because i am always so damn confused and indecisive. I consciously start thinking in their favour, neglecting my own needs, as well as generally being confused with them in the first place. This can happen in any casual social setting.
But i realise i have to take care of myself first... and it should start coming naturally. I know it did before, unconsciously, until someone purposely withheld their love for me.
And now i realise why i was incredibly happy in another relationship - because both my Moon and Venus were constantly satisfied in it, for months. It was really like living a fairytale romance.

So to balance it all out, i should start with loving and appreciating myself first, taking care of myself, embracing my own desires. And in relation to other people i should not have unrealistic or high expectations at all times. Neither should i adjust my values and needs to suit other's capabilities.

I'll try to answer your other questions, Sylven.

Regarding my parents... yes, where i live the environment and mentality are just vulgar and driven by stuff like "i feel better about myself when i see others suffer"

I have my Mercury in Cappy, 11th house:
- conjunct Neptune ( lack of willpower )
- square Mars in Aries(hasty speech, impatient)
- sextile Pluto

I have my South Node in Virgo, and my character is heavily influenced by many Virgoan traits. They have all been slowly coming out since my puberty.

posted February 15, 2016 12:55 AM            

I saw, in one of the other threads you are born on the same date (not year) as one of my biggest loves (soulmate). He also has a Cappy Mercury.

I also have south node in virgo btw.

Although I am very strong willed (as in, I have a strong opinion) I recognise what you said. I am also very flexible so when someone else really really wants something else I can easily choose what they want. Or more their way . It happens with interior decoration (Venus) as well. I don't have problems with decision making. I can do that very well. And I won't settle for something that I find ugly, in the house. Simply because the wrong interior can make me feel sick and depressed. Very sensitive there. Anyway, I think my husband can over rule me in this aspect. Luckily he has great taste and good eye for design and what not. I remember once. I really wanted a big wooden arm chair in our open spaced kitchen. The one with lion heads at the end of the arms. With velvet fabric, nice and medieval looking. I was allowed to bring it in and make it my own but he was not happy, my husband . I thought it looked awesome on the head of our long large table. It was combined with modern. Husband disliked it so much it had to go after a year. He convinced me. It might also be that I didn't finish it good enough and it wasn't perfect. I thought "ok, it's not so much a problem, let the thing be out". It was too big as well. I am not a materialist @ all. Very easy. But yeah, I can be very easy going in that department. We do choose together. We both have to be happy with it. But I am much much more eccentric.

Lemme ponder on this some more.

posted February 15, 2016 09:50 AM            

That chair does sound like it was very fancy and stylish, Sylven! I have an eye for the eccentric so i would have no idea why your husband didn't like it!
It's interesting that you craft or carve wooden shapes like that?

posted February 20, 2016 03:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by XzaultaX:
I have my Venus in Scorpio and Moon in Taurus. They opposite each other but it's a 9 orb

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Why do you hate it? Can you elaborate on that? Im very interested to know.