posted February 07, 2016 12:30 AM            

The reason for this is quite simply because I was never satisfied with my first relationship. Perhaps it was just too orthodox and uninteresting. This obviously does not interfere with the amount of unconditional love I have for my ex who I still respect very much because this person has not wronged me in anyway and I mean that. We still talk too.

However I could not keep lying to myself. There was/is something missing from my life. Even though I was in a relationship with this person in the past, I always felt ... Myself and not myself. Myself in a way that was comfortable actinf anyway I pleased and also less myself by acting that same way; completely uninhibited

Maybe I can chalk it up to being young. All I know is, it didn't feel like love. Or rather, the kind of love I secretly longed for. It seemed more platonic to me than sensual.

Fast-forward to now .... I usually spend my time alone although I always speak to everyone. I don't purposely isolate myself from talking to my friends, I just feel like to some extent they respect and understand my solitary nature just as much as I would theirs. So it's normal

Have I even remotely bothered to try and mingle with anyone? Not at all. I feel like that part of my life is completely nonexistent. Perhaps due to some disappointing failures in my past. Although my confidence has grown since then in some respects.

The difference between back then and now is that I'm no longer surrounded by large crowds of people (11th house?). I am no longer in school and haven't been for a while so it feels harder for me to reconnect or have those wonderful chances like others normally do.

This is my chart + Progressed chart

posted February 07, 2016 11:55 AM            

The sun/venus/mercury stellium in your 12th house of Cancer making a Trine to the moon at 0 (Degree of new beginnings) of Pisces which is making a Trine to the N. Node in Scorpio explains why.

Your stellium is also making a Trine to your POF. Your POF and Moon are in the House of other people, your N. Node is in the house of family which is good.

Have you ever watched Practical Magic, when young sandra bullock makes a list (potion) of what she wants in a life partner.

posted February 07, 2016 04:52 PM            

I think you having Moon in the 8th makes you long for a true connection with someone that's going to bring deep meaning but you haven't really had that yet. I can relate to that, although I have Moon in the 7th but my chart ruler in the 8th, as well as Chiron in 8th, so 8th house matters are tricky for me. And with Aquarius in your 7th, you need a relationship with unique energy so not just ANYBODY can bring this.