posted February 27, 2016 03:22 PM            

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Originally posted by candycrush:
Thanks so much hypatia! I'll post it, but let me now if it's better for me to post my natal or if perhaps my relocation chart may be of more help.

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posted February 28, 2016 12:52 AM            

Its so sad to hear that is not just romantic relationships but that you feel a block with all relationships.

I know your Saturn is at home in aquarius but your saturn is afflicted as it is part of 2 Thor's hammer aspect patterns in your chart, it also rules and conjuncts your DC along with Uranus which is in mutual reception with Saturn and your Uranus has its challenges too. For example, Uranus your DC ruler inconjuncts Chiron and squares your Venus which trines your chiron in the 12th:

Perhaps relationships for you start abruptly (dc ruler square venus) and with you putting the other up in a pedestal and seeing them through rose colored glasses (Uranus conjuncts neptune in the 5th) but then out of the blue it all comes crashing down and things end in what feels to you out of nowhere disappointment, disillusionment and pain but you somehow always heal and continue to belief in love.

Saturn conjuncts your DC exact and sesquisquares Jupiter, your 5th House ruler, and sesquisquares Mars in the 11th which rules your IC forming a Thor's Hammer with Saturn at the apex of it. You also have a Thor's Hammer with Mars at the apex sesquisquare Pluto in the 4th and Saturn conjunct DC so connecting with others is hard for you, very hard.

The IC is your true deepest self found underneath the surface, your vulnerable side, your soul, the parts of you that you share with people you are very intimate with and you allow all the way in.

Its scary to show others our vulnerable side but for you is even more challenging and that is what is needed to create a bond with others and reach a certain level of intimacy with others.

Since saturn conjunct DC sesquisquares your IC ruler its hard for you open up on a deeper level and show your vulnerable side to friends (mars in the 11th), potential lovers (jupiter 5H ruler sesquisquare saturn) and family (Mars 4H ruler sesquisquare saturn and Pluto in the 4th).

Its hard for you to express love, your creative side and assert yourself. Its hard for you to show your true self in any one to one interaction but also in group settings and it really hasn't help at all that when you do show your true self you are criticized and feel not accepted by others; perhaps bullying has been an ongoing theme for you in your life.

Yet you need to find the courage to be you no matter what bc only that way you will identify who your tribe is and know who really likes you for you just the way you are and who truly gets you and is worth your time.

Relationships are about quality and not quantity. You have to let go of the fear of not being accepted for who you are, learn to ignore those who don't get you and not let others define your opinion of yourself. You have to decide to be true to yourself and show your true self to others no matter what. If you stop caring about what others think and show your true self always most will end up accepting you as you are sooner than later but you have let go of that fear of rejection and need for approval.

Your outlet planet for your Saturn-DC Thor's Hammer is Venus in the 9th. Perhaps you feel more comfortable showing your true self around people who come from a different ethnic background from you. Perhaps you find taking a cultural plunge and surrounding yourself among strangers that you are able to find healing, feel more at ease and be more able to be yourself and connect with others. Its easier to open up and connect to foreigners for you. Traveling helps you connect with others and makes you feel more at home and has a healing effect on you. Focus on building relationships with people that expand your horizons and thinking that is when you let your guard down the most and open up.

Higher education is also a great way to connect with others for you, perhaps meeting people at school and joining clubs of like minded people makes it easier for you to put your guard down, show your vulnerable side and connect with others. Seek out people who have a similar philosophy to you of life or similar political ideologies.

posted February 28, 2016 12:55 AM            

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Originally posted by candycrush:
also, please let me know if you want me to do a chart analysis for you in return, i'd be more than happy to do it!

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That sounds like fun. When we are done with yours I will post mine.

posted February 28, 2016 02:24 AM            

The DC rules one on one interactions not just relationships and you have Saturn conjunct DC exact forming TWO thor's hammer aspect patterns so its very hard to connect with others and to top it off saturn opposes your AC and pluto squares your AC as you mentioned but trust me the two thor's hammer aspect patterns are definitely factoring in and venus is the only outlet I am seeing.

So people perhaps feel you come off as intense and serious but in a school setting and among people of different ethnic backgrounds or other venus in the 9th themes you can probably find it easier to connect. I would also imagine that plutonic, uranian and saturnian types would get your vibe and so you will be able to connect with them more easily.

Last, no matter who you are or how your chart looks like if a person walks into a room there will be a few people who automatically don't like that person typically so you need to let yourself shine and be comfortable in your own skin in spite of you detecting critical stares which often have nothing to do with you and they are just having a bad day or have a lousy personality themselves and that is their problem and it doesn't have to become yours, don't mind them and be kind anyways.

People really respond to someone who is comfortable in their own skin and let themselves be vulnerable and are fully themselves so do that and more people will respond to you and you will be able to connect more with people. Be vulnerable, be sweet, give people compliments, if you open up and show vulnerability they are more likely to also reciprocate and use your venusian charm, tap into venus as much as possible. Dress with light colors, smile and forget about the few you feel don't like you, there is always a few for everyone.

posted February 28, 2016 03:52 AM            

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Originally posted by candycrush:
School settings are actually the most difficult place for me to connect, and despite the fact that I do show my vulnerable side (I'm not super assertive in person) and give compliments I don't get far. As far as this being "everyones" problem, I do have to say I doubt that. There's normal amounts of that and then there's these situations. I mean two already very rare thor's hammers in one chart alone + saturn in the 7th/11th and being afflicted + bad aspects to ascendent says a lot about how not normal or common this is. I don't actually care, I tend totally accept that, I was just curious since the only thing that bothers me is the bad vibe followed by uncalled for arrogant behavior on other people's part, as if I'd done something to them personally.

May I bother you with one more question? What is my karmic lesson and soul purpose in this lifetime?

Thanks again!

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I hear you, thor's hammers brings harsh severe criticism from others which leads to a lot of personal frustration and tension and you have two thor's hammers involving saturn conjunct dc so geeeeeeez it has to be rough yeah.

If school settings are the most difficult for you to connect then where do you feel is easiest for you to connect??

As for your Karmic Lessons lets start with the Thor's Hammer pattern or Fist of God:

"Alice Portman writes: “This is a particularly difficult pattern as the sesquiquadrate aspect tends to give quite severe criticism from others and this produces considerable personal tension. To work at its best it needs at least one planet in the pattern to have an outlet i.e. an easy flow aspect to another planet or planetary pattern. The outlet planet can describe people who help and/or a talent or ability that eases the pressure.”

In Norse—mostly Icelandic—mythology. Thor was the god of lightning, strength, protection, healing and thunder. He wielded his hammer with incredible precision, never missing his target.

If the square is between two cardinal signs the focal point of the pattern falls into a mutable sign—suggesting a change with flexibility (without resistance) is required. (in your case is a fixed sign, saturn in Aquarius)

If the square is between two fixed signs the focal point of the pattern falls into a cardinal sign. The modality associated with taking charge and leading.(Your mars in the 11th)

When the square takes place in mutable signs, the apex point falls into a fixed sign, perhaps suggesting that the person needs to stick to their personal choices."

So part of your journey is to stick to your personal choices, lead and take charge.

^So you have two focal points Mars in Cancer in the 11th ruling your 9th and IC and Saturn in Aquarius conjunct DC and both these focal points are hints to how to master your karmic lessons along with Mercury which squares your nodes so Mercury in the 7th is your skipped step.

Mastering your Karmic Lessons will involve Mars, Saturn and Mercury and both Saturn and Mercury fall in the 7th so that is telling and your mercury inconjuncts Jupiter which is also part of the Saturn apex thor's hammer.

One idea for a career I have for you is something that involves the law, perhaps family law with jupiter ruling the 5th and mars in cancer ruling the 9th and IC and Saturn conjunct DC. Perhaps you are meant to be a divorce lawyer or judge and deal with custody issues etc..

Think about it Jupiter, Saturn and Mars working together for justice to protect children from a messy divorce and make sure their best interest are protected. Pluto in the 4th ruling the IC, Mars ruling the IC and your 9th and saturn conjunct DC fist of god also fits in with family law nicely so both thor's hammers fit in to this career option.

You can also take the family therapist route or social worker route and work for child protective services, become an investigator for child abuse, or run a foster home...

Perhaps becoming an art therapist or speech therapist for kids would also be great options for you.

What do you think?

posted February 28, 2016 07:30 PM            

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Originally posted by candycrush:
Way to assume...I've always had trouble with concentration/focus, which I've read can be due to mercury retrograde which many with ADHD have. That said, Steve Jobs was no genius. Steve Wozniak, yes, but Jobs was no tech genius, just good with style and whatnot. I'm taking it that you didn't take time to actually know anything about Steve Jobs before writing that and that you only knew "Steve Jobs=Apple=must be tech genius"

" I feel you lack self confidence in your abilities and have negative false beliefs of your self which self sabatoge."

Quite a heavy assumption to make about someone you know literally zilch about. Perhaps your problem is too much confidence considering it takes quite some balls to make assumptions about a complete strangers confidence levels, beliefs of self, and whether or not this stranger from online has beliefs of self which self sabotage. Even despite my saying earlier that I know I have many good qualities, don't have anything about my behavior/personality or physical appearance (which I said was normal/pretty) that is bad or negative or that would make someone dislike me, and that it "isn't me personally" and that I have a pleasant and agreeable attitude...and that I never break the law or act in scandalous ways...which I doubt someone with self-worth would assess themselves that way or even would have the self-respect to stay out of trouble and be personable in the first place. WOW. Again, way to assume. Such a logical conclusion to come to as well.

Thanks again for your time. Bye.

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What on earth just happened? I was having a friendly conversation with you. You seem VERY intelligent and I feel you are selling yourself short by thinking you can't pursue a degree that is all! so I mentioned that perhaps you have some negative false beliefs such as "I am not smart enough to get through college." I have negative false beliefs of myself and I think everyone struggles with negative false beliefs so I was not at all attacking you or 'making assumptions' given you had just said you don't feel you can successfully pursue a degree in law or even psychology which is a lot easier than law IMO. On the context of what we were discussing already I am surprised it was interpreted that way and that you felt offended bc by no means was that at all what I was trying to do.

I am aware about everything you mentioned about Steve Jobs and he didn't even finish college but there is no doubt in my mind he is very intelligent and a visionary with good leadership qualities although not perfect in the leadership department. Even though he didn't finish college nor was he the brains behind the coding programming aspects of his success he is well rounded and educated without a doubt as he wouldn't have made i as far as he did otherwise and if he didn't have something big brewing already on the line that he was pursuing with his partner, the coding programming genius, he would have I am sure successfully finished college. His partner should have received equal recognition though and is unfair that was not the case.

I feel both him and Steve Wozniak are highly intelligent in different ways.

I also have trouble with concentration and focus and I have mercury rx but I made it through school and got my bachelor's and master's degree, I did not let that stop me bc I knew I was smart just not mainstream in my thinking, interests or approach to things. I dont think my problem with focusing is bc my mercury is Rx though I think is the aspects it forms. Also, you can take medication for ADHD, many kids do and it completely turns things around big time for them academically going from Ds, Fs, and Cs to As, Bs, and Cs.

I do wish you the best and yes you can definitely adopt, even without looking at your chart if you heart is in it, you should go for it! There are so many kids that need a loving home out there and you do seem to have karmic lessons that are connected to the home and children so that is one way your thor's hammers can manifest or like I said setting up a foster home or day care.

Good Luck with everything. I truly wish you the best!

posted February 28, 2016 08:56 PM            

I also feel that if you can find a way to be successful without going to college that is the dream and the ideal in my opinion.

Be back later and will read your last post carefully and respond...

posted February 28, 2016 10:43 PM            

I actually cried when you poured your heart and read this part below. I really feel your frustration and pain and how tired you feel of this happening to you, I feel perhaps you are getting close to a turning point with this source of frustration:

"I also have three stressful and difficult exams coming up which are giving me grief, one is tomorrow, and that may also be why I'm a bit defensive..but mostly it's because I misunderstood what you meant/intended, and please understand--when your whole life you've never done or said anything wrong to anyone (way too sensitive to hurt people's feelings and way too afraid to argue with strangers in real life--don't like arguments at all, definitely don't want to be trashy/rude in public either) but you consistently, day in and day out, are subject to undeserved criticism and wrong assumptions about your character, it turns you a bit defensive. I'm not making excuses, I just want you to understand my reaction from my perspective and I hope you aren't mad

That said, I'm not an aggressive or angry person by nature--I'm reserved and don't bother anyone, my aspirations include having a job that pays enough to move to a bigger city so I can volunteer at children's hospitals and just play with disabled kids and kids with cancer (I'm that girl that gets misty eyed during St. Jude's commercials, they're heartbreaking and inspiring). I also strongly sympathize with war victims and people who have lost loved ones at war. I'm highly sensitive to people's suffering, so much so that if i were to describe myself in one way, that would be the main thing that sums me up as a person. Again, my physical appearance/looks/way I dress are totally normal and typical and I never look inappropriate or anything, I cannot stress enough how little I physically stand out and acting out and rebellion have never been my thing, so I never do or say anything to attract negative or questionable attention. I'm conservative in behavior but friendly and personable (never want to make anyone feel how others make me feel, I mean, when I see elderly people or someone disabled or clearly ill, I get devasted instantly, the mere thought of someone bullying that person actually makes me feel intensely sad)...and yet, all my life as soon as someone sees me, they dismiss me as whatever they think. I can handle that fine, I'm strong, but imagine you're a nice, easy-going person and harmless soul but people endlessly misjudge you and disregard you as something you're not even close to. It's like, "you have no idea how kind and sympathetic I am as a person, you'll probably never meet anyone as understanding and caring as I am, and you know nothing about me or what I've been through, but sure, go ahead and make those faces and don't try to get to know me, sure, have more respect and kindness toward people who are no where near as nice but write me off as whatever adjectives you told yourself I am based off a vibe I gave you!" But of course I never say anything. You'd be offended and angry, you know? You'd want to say something back, too. But I understand that that wasn't the case here, and I admit I was wrong to respond that way, but again, I thought "here we go again. great, it literally never ends.""

posted February 28, 2016 11:04 PM            

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Originally posted by candycrush:
I understand! Thank you! And I do want to go to finish college. I don't judge those who don't or couldn't, but it isn't an option for me not to. I want a career and not a vocational job (no disrespect to anyone who doesn't have a career, I'm not knocking it I just have a personal preference). I want a college degree and I prefer the professional route. And today, the best way to have a stable career and paycheck is through a degree, it's the safest way and it would make me proud of myself. Life is already hard for everyone, not having a degree to fall back on just makes it harder, as it makes it harder to have a decent salary and "stress-free" job. My entire life I wanted to help people and have a college education. Without one I'd feel a hole in myself, I value education. It just seems extremely hard and difficult for me. Which hurts as much as people's reactions to me. Thanks for understand and thank you for saying you'll read it later!

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I think you are very smart and capable and that you will figure out college, I think you are meant to overcome this challenge in your life. I belief that venus in the 9th been your outlet planet for the thor's hammer tells us that you are meant to overcome this challenge and that getting that degree may be more challenging for you but even the more proud you will be of yourself when you achieve this and you will! Hang in there and don't give up, you will get that degree trust me! I know it.

Yeah you are in the trial and error stage with the meds and you will find a medication that is a good fit for you and you will figure out the right dosage. Little by little you will get there , this is not a race so its ok if you go at your own pace. I am 32 and I just finished getting my masters degree a little over a year ago Nov 2013 and I was 24 when I graduated with my Bachelor's degree.