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Author Topic:   Getting over your ex & Aspects
ikja
Knowflake

Posts: 2538
From: The Valley of Restoration
Registered: Oct 2014

posted March 18, 2016 11:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ikja     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just wanted to know how long it took you all to get over your exes. I've been making steady progress for the past nearly 3 years, but I feel like at times... I have moments where the pain still floods back. I've been on dates etc. but no one serious and new since.

How long did it take you to get over your ex and natal aspects do you think played a part in the speed or delay?

I've got Pluto opposite Venus in my natural - so I'm pretty screwed long term anyway lol; but we also had Pluto sextile sun in synastry. I was Pluto. Unsurprisingly. we also had moon trine moon which was helpful for me because I felt he did understand me. So, a part of me feels like I lost a brother too.

Tell me about your experiences?

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StubbornVirgo
Knowflake

Posts: 796
From: Sittin' on Mercury
Registered: Jul 2015

posted March 18, 2016 11:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for StubbornVirgo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
His stellium is sextile my stellium. Our moons are sextile too. We have Venus-Pluto conjunction (he has it natally and my Pluto also aspects his Venus).

It's not an obsessive type of deal, but my Venus-Mars square doesn't forget intense connections quite as easily as I wish it did. It helps to remember how much of a sleezy jerk he really was. Usually my mind wanders to another connection once it enters my life, but I've not been open to anything new in a while. So I've been stuck on replay. It's getting better, though.

ETA: It doesn't help that I have Venus in Virgo, either. I don't like giving up on people, even if I have more than adequate reasons to do so. I also have Venus-Neptune and Venus-Uranus trine. I hold out hope that the timing was wrong, neither one of us was ready, etc.

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Doux RÍve
Moderator

Posts: 9706
From:
Registered: Dec 2010

posted March 19, 2016 07:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Doux RÍve     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't get over the pain associated with my past experiences, like ever.

Somehow it's always there, which sucks so hard.

I also generally find it harder to get over people I've never actually been with (i.e. crushes/impossible scenarios). (Because I've never been with someone I was 'in love' with, probably.)

But there's always a heavy feeling, a sort of bleakness that simply never goes away.
I hear that's the effects of emotional trauma for you. You just get repeatedly fu**ed emotionally, no matter what. And it stays in your psyche for ever, causing you to not want to get involved ever again. Yippee...

Heh, sorry for the gloom. Just not feeling particularly positive at the moment.

Anyway, I have a prominent Pluto and Saturn, which I believe account for that kind of heaviness/bleakness.

(Moon opp. Saturn & sq. Pluto/Mars, among other things.)

Hang in there.

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next to neptune
Knowflake

Posts: 2744
From: The Moon
Registered: Aug 2013

posted March 19, 2016 08:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Maybe its ok to know you might never get over your ex'es as long as it doesnt hinder you from loving a new one again...

I dont think I ever got over my first love for an example, even though its 10 years ago... sometimes I still visit his FB lol....

But I have loved other people since then, just as much. Right now I just got out of a relationship with my second "great love" so it's gonna be a though one to move on from. But my experience tells me that it gets easier when you find a new one. Don't go alone and be heartbroken for too long, cause your ex will also move on, and it gets harder if he moves on before you!!

So get yourself together as fast as possible and find a new love/crush. It's easier that way... you probably wont forget your ex ever, but at least it helps!

I think scorpio/cancer/virgo placement has the hardest time moving on, but they are also the signs most prone to be depressed/heartbroken etc. (in terms of love I would say)

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polkadotstars
Knowflake

Posts: 685
From:
Registered: Feb 2015

posted March 19, 2016 08:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for polkadotstars     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
By getting over your ex do you mean stop loving them?

I move on quickly I suppose. I was head over heels for one guy who lied to me about sleeping with his ex gf/roommate. He broke up with me on my birthday because he realized he loved her when he told her he was seeing me. So that one hurt and took awhile to get over.

But all my other relationships ive been able to move on relatively quickly, within about two months or so.

I think the lesson I learn from relationships is not so much moving on, but realizing what I learned in those relationships. Why did it fail? It usually isn't one persons fault, it's a two way street. So I try to realize what I can do going forward in my next relationship to not repeat the same mistakes. I also remind myself that just because those relationships didn't work out, doesn't mean something is wrong with me, or him, it just didn't work out, period. I still care for my exes, in a way that I hope they have a happy life and I wish them the best. I think this mentality also helps me move on easier.

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hannaramaa
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Posts: 11012
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted March 19, 2016 12:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have a Taurus moon, that's trine Saturn and opposite Pluto and Pluto is in my 5th. I also have Venus square Saturn. It takes me FOREVER to get over someone. I tried working on it and going on dates and it helps a little, but that person is still in the back of your mind so what's the point? And that's not fair to the other guy. My last break up that I cared about was back in June of '14 and I'm still trying to finish letting go, so you're not alone.

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next to neptune
Knowflake

Posts: 2744
From: The Moon
Registered: Aug 2013

posted March 19, 2016 12:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for next to neptune     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hannaramaa:
I have a Taurus moon, that's trine Saturn and opposite Pluto and Pluto is in my 5th. I also have Venus square Saturn. It takes me FOREVER to get over someone. I tried working on it and going on dates and it helps a little, but that person is still in the back of your mind so what's the point? And that's not fair to the other guy. My last break up that I cared about was back in June of '14 and I'm still trying to finish letting go, so you're not alone.

But you shouldn't go out on dates the day after a very hard breakup... but it is stupid and a waste of time to sit and wait forever, while your ex'es are all gone and have moved on with new girls. Do you just want to sit and cry while he's out there having fun without you?

Try to have fun and forget your sorrows, life is too short to give all your energy to someone who just left you.

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hannaramaa
Moderator

Posts: 11012
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted March 19, 2016 01:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by next to neptune:
But you shouldn't go out on dates the day after a very hard breakup... but it is stupid and a waste of time to sit and wait forever, while your ex'es are all gone and have moved on with new girls. Do you just want to sit and cry while he's out there having fun without you?

Try to have fun and forget your sorrows, life is too short to give all your energy to someone who just left you.


I'm not waiting forever for him to come back or to reconcile if that's what you meant. I'm more at the stage of releasing my grudges and not looking at his FB occasionally. I don't want to do that anymore and no, lol I don't sit and cry at all. Most of it comes from wondering if I made the right choice because I dumped them all and then I calmed down and regretting it so... live and learn, eh.

Can you also unquote me? Thank you.

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