posted April 19, 2016 12:29 PM              

Maybe some LL folks can offer some insight/experience about very afflicted Venuses?

I have Venus in Aries, to begin with.
Opposite Pluto
Square Vertex
Conjunct Ceres exact

There's an alleged conjunction from my Pisces Jupiter at 25*, to my Aries Venus/Ceres at 3*, but it doesn't seem particularly noticeable to me.

Anyone have ideas on how to help a Venus like this?

The only positive aspect is from my NN, which is also quite afflicted (the only positive aspect my NN receives is likewise from my Venus).

posted April 19, 2016 01:08 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by saadsarah8:

It's tough. I have venus in virgo exactly squaring mars in gemini, and opposite saturn [in pisces]. I'm very demanding and needy in love and friendships, and my jealousy is outrageous (though that could be my moon in the 8th house speaking). Also tons of nervous/awkward energy. I'm very restless, physically and especially MENTALLY. My mind never stops. I think my venus opposite saturn manifests in how I constantly push love away with my self-deprecation and negativity. :[

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posted April 19, 2016 01:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by saadsarah8:

It's tough. I have venus in virgo exactly squaring mars in gemini, and opposite saturn [in pisces]. I'm very demanding and needy in love and friendships, and my jealousy is outrageous (though that could be my moon in the 8th house speaking). Also tons of nervous/awkward energy. I'm very restless, physically and especially MENTALLY. My mind never stops. I think my venus opposite saturn manifests in how I constantly push love away with my self-deprecation and negativity. :[

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I have Virgo Venus conjunct Saturn and square Neptune.

I don't feel like I am needy and demanding, or jealous. But I can be quite nervous and awkward.

Probably negative too, as sometimes I don't feel like I can ever be loved

posted April 19, 2016 01:26 PM            

So when it's challenged, the native may feel some strain in those areas...

Feeling like you're not "feminine" (enough) (compared to others, or compared to the social standards, for example); or that you're not very attractive (and hence, not worthy of love or desire from another).

The social and personal interactions can therefore be challenged, too. Not necessarily because you feel like you don't measure up or that you're somehow "less than", but simply because maybe, growing up, you didn't see a "healthy" model of relating. Perhaps your boundaries were infringed, or you were neglected, or one of your parents had a terrible social or personal life and you picked up on that.

Venus can then have trouble relating in social situations, where there's a give-and-take, and may feel a lack of natural "ease" when it comes to being around other people and having to relate to them.

This can leak into romance, of course, where there can be insecurity, awkwardness, possessiveness or on the other hand rejection and devaluation of romance and love in general.

Basically, think "dysfunction" on some level.

Venus can be either too "Venus-y" or not enough "Venus-y"... So you could be overly compliant, indulgent, and affectionate, or on the other side of the coin, express the qualities of the planet which challenges that Venus. In your case Violets, it's Pluto, so you could swing from "sweet lady who loves everyone" to "I hate you for doing this to me, now I'm gonna kill you with my silent treatment/words/whatever".

With Pluto the dysfunction lies in the fact that the native is afraid of the power of attraction/love, for example they can be afraid that their SO will be stolen from them by another, more attractive/desirable person, and that triggers their own insecurities or feelings of "unworthiness" (sometimes subconscious). Which is why this is an aspect that's said to be manipulative, abusive or even violent. Those triggers can push one to act on their feelings/thoughts, and the result can be damaging, unless they learn to surrender to vulnerability and sharing openly and honestly their fears and desires, and so on.

With Mars, for example, Venus will tend to be more "belligerent". Say Mars opposes Venus, well then, when insecurities arise, or jealousy, the person will be more inclined to pick a fight or act abrasive/aggressive towards the Other, because they triggered the unpleasant feelings and fears.

posted April 19, 2016 01:39 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Aunt Anomalia:
What's wrong about your Vertex square and Ceres conjunction?

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Nothing wrong with the Ceres conjunction, I guess it counts as "the other" positive aspect to my Venus.

posted April 19, 2016 01:41 PM            

quote:

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I dunno, having my Vertex square my Venus sounds kind of counterproductive.

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posted April 19, 2016 01:50 PM              

I'm aware of the expectations of standard "Venusian" femininity, but it's not as much of an issue for me now (it was when I was much, much younger...like in my teens).

I'm pretty comfortable being the competitive, generally athletic person I am (and my H8 placements don't hurt, as it does add a certain appeal, I think).

The other descriptions, particularly Pluto/Venus are pretty accurate for me. I enjoy falling entirely into love/infatuation, and allowing myself to be consumed by those things.
But if/when it turns sour, look out. I won't be forgetting it or moving on any time soon (or ever, in some cases).

posted April 19, 2016 01:51 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Aunt Anomalia:

Try having Pluto square Vertex exact Nah, I wouldn't worry about this one.

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posted April 19, 2016 04:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doux Rêve:
Venus is the principle of femininity, attractiveness, and relating (among other things).

So when it's challenged, the native may feel some strain in those areas...

Feeling like you're not "feminine" (enough) (compared to others, or compared to the social standards, for example); or that you're not very attractive (and hence, not worthy of love or desire from another).

The social and personal interactions can therefore be challenged, too. Not necessarily because you feel like you don't measure up or that you're somehow "less than", but simply because maybe, growing up, you didn't see a "healthy" model of relating. Perhaps your boundaries were infringed, or you were neglected, or one of your parents had a terrible social or personal life and you picked up on that.

Venus can then have trouble relating in social situations, where there's a give-and-take, and may feel a lack of natural "ease" when it comes to being around other people and having to relate to them.

This can leak into romance, of course, where there can be insecurity, awkwardness, possessiveness or on the other hand rejection and devaluation of romance and love in general.

Basically, think "dysfunction" on some level.

Venus can be either too "Venus-y" or not enough "Venus-y"... So you could be overly compliant, indulgent, and affectionate, or on the other side of the coin, express the qualities of the planet which challenges that Venus. In your case Violets, it's Pluto, so you could swing from "sweet lady who loves everyone" to "I hate you for doing this to me, now I'm gonna kill you with my silent treatment/words/whatever".

With Pluto the dysfunction lies in the fact that the native is afraid of the power of attraction/love, for example they can be afraid that their SO will be stolen from them by another, more attractive/desirable person, and that triggers their own insecurities or feelings of "unworthiness" (sometimes subconscious). Which is why this is an aspect that's said to be manipulative, abusive or even violent. Those triggers can push one to act on their feelings/thoughts, and the result can be damaging, unless they learn to surrender to vulnerability and sharing openly and honestly their fears and desires, and so on.

With Mars, for example, Venus will tend to be more "belligerent". Say Mars opposes Venus, well then, when insecurities arise, or jealousy, the person will be more inclined to pick a fight or act abrasive/aggressive towards the Other, because they triggered the unpleasant feelings and fears.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head... Hope it helps a little.

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This is spot on. Thank you for articulating this in a way that makes so much sense. I think my Venus is afflicted but I never understood how it impacted me.

My Leo Venus (11th) is sq. Pluto almost exact and trine Saturn almost exact, and that's it (besides a few other minor aspects). I am definitely a serial monogamist (never dated casually much) so commitment has never been my issue (I value it), rather it has been power struggles and jealousy.

In all of my relationships (even the one I'm in now) there has always been one "other" girl from their pasts (usually the most recent ex) that I hyper-focus on and relentlessly compare myself to - as if she is somehow better than me therefore making me feel unworthy. I wouldn't say I suffer from a complete lack of self-esteem because I feel fairly confident in my overall appearance and in other areas of my life, but in intimate relationships I feel very fearful of - as you said - having my SO taken from me for these reasons. It's a constant struggle and something I work on but it is not easy. Even if my SO has given me no reason to feel insecure and reassures me regularly, these feelings still pop up. To summarize, it really does feel like "unworthiness in love."

posted April 19, 2016 05:25 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by margym0o:
This is spot on. Thank you for articulating this in a way that makes so much sense. I think my Venus is afflicted but I never understood how it impacted me.

My Leo Venus (11th) is sq. Pluto almost exact and trine Saturn almost exact, and that's it (besides a few other minor aspects). I am definitely a serial monogamist (never dated casually much) so commitment has never been my issue (I value it), rather it has been power struggles and jealousy.

In all of my relationships (even the one I'm in now) there has always been one "other" girl from their pasts (usually the most recent ex) that I hyper-focus on and relentlessly compare myself to - as if she is somehow better than me therefore making me feel unworthy. I wouldn't say I suffer from a complete lack of self-esteem because I feel fairly confident in my overall appearance and in other areas of my life, but in intimate relationships I feel very fearful of - as you said - having my SO taken from me for these reasons. It's a constant struggle and something I work on but it is not easy. Even if my SO has given me no reason to feel insecure and reassures me regularly, these feelings still pop up. To summarize, it really does feel like "unworthiness in love."

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Yes. This is me as well. I hate to admit to it, because I am a grown woman at this point, but needling insecurities still get the best of me, even though they're entirely unfounded.
Well, at this time in my life they're unfounded. When I was younger, I had terrible experiences in relationships, and that definitely left an impact on my psyche.

Not sure how to address this, though. I noticed that my grandfather (a man my family feared with good reason) also had the Pluto/Venus opposition as I do. Thankfully, I'm not a violent, unpredictable alcoholic, but my emotions can be very menacing if I feel slighted. But I'm not going to hurt anyone physically (I might cut you down emotionally, though...if I'm extremely upset).

Then again, I have Sun in H8 conjunct BML. So I guess everything is just magnified.

posted April 19, 2016 10:19 PM              

quote:

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n your case Violets, it's Pluto, so you could swing from "sweet lady who loves everyone" to "I hate you for doing this to me, now I'm gonna kill you with my silent treatment/words/whatever".

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Yep, that would be me.

posted April 20, 2016 12:17 PM              

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Originally posted by NeptunianSag:
Saturn conjunct aqua Venus, I work hard at my appearance, try to love myself, it never feels I am good enough. I hope when I'm older Saturn will reward me and make me realise I'm beautiful, although I cant see it at all.

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That sounds more proactive, at least. I guess that awareness is a good first step, and some dedication to trying to improve the areas of stress (for me it would be the need to control, insecurity, out-of-control emotions, and willingness to compromise with people I love).

It's really difficult when there's not much help from other planets, but surely there must be a way of going about it...?