posted May 01, 2016 02:13 AM            

We had a double whammy mars-saturn conjunction. My Mars conjuncts my partner's Saturn. (Libra)
His Mars conjuncts my Saturn. (Virgo)

My question...when something goes VERY wrong, very quickly, will a Scorpio come back? Seek revenge? Ice you out forever?

As a brief overview of our breakup, for the past 3 months, he had been very depressed. One day, I discovered that he lied about something--actions did not align with words. At that time, I asked him about this lie, and he denied it. Something inside me just snapped, and I did something I would never usually do...I snooped on his phone because I legitimately did not understand why a man who was depressed and "thankful" for my support and love would lie. I found a lot of surprising things. When I confronted him, he angrily left, subsequently deleted me on Facebook, etc. That was our breakup. No talking, no resolution.

After two years, the relationship unraveled in three minutes.

It has been a month now, and I have received a couple of emails from him, and I have inadvertently seen him a few times. All of these emails and encounters usually consist of him saying life is very sad right now (homeless, will probably be fired, sleeps at work, no friends, everything hurts). That is to me. But, to others (my father, even), he will say that he is accused of things, I have a skewed opinion, etc. It seems as though he is trying to win everyone's side? Usually, this is through heavily relying on victimhood.

I am asking this because I have never dealt with a Scorpio breakup, I have never LIVED with a guy before, and I don't know what to expect.
Will I have to handle moving out on my own?
Will he ignore me until the end of time?
Is the memory of our relationship marred by the breakup?

Any advice is welcome!

posted May 01, 2016 03:42 AM            

Will I have to handle moving out on my own?

- Do you want to break up? Or do you want to resume a relationship with him?

If you say yes to my first question, I think you should move out on your own. Take control of the situation. Don't *wait* for his moves. You make the moves. Separate your life and yourself from him. Call your friends/family...etc..., find a place, get all of your stuff out. Delete all of your cookies. Change your bank account passwords...etc...

Will he ignore me until the end of time?

- If you want to break up, I'd say you should ignore him. Or meet him and settle it once and for all.

Is the memory of our relationship marred by the breakup?

- You said you spent years "tending" to his needs and to me it seems that it bugs you. I'd say the relationship itself was already marred.

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I notice that you said he's been depressed. I don't know if he's clinically depressed, or just feeling down - I suppose he's not in the right state of mind to handle this well, hence the playing victim behavior.

If you don't want to break up, then talk it out with him.

The things I said above is what I'd do if I were in your shoes, and it is what I always tell my friends when they're in similar situations.

posted May 01, 2016 04:10 AM            

I do not really want to move out, and I would miss him as my friend. I think he already broke up, so there isn't really anything I can do about it.

The issue is that, I would really like to at least settle matters, but he has disappeared. He will not contact me regarding moving out, utilities, apartment issues. Or, when I do hear from him, he does paint a picture of being down on his luck. This really doesn't solve any of our outstanding issues.

>>You said you spent years "tending" to his needs and to me it seems that it bugs you. I'd say the relationship itself was already marred.

Yeah, it bugs me. of course he was nice a lot of times, and I was, too. Action-wise, I was more of the do-er. I also had the view of wanting to take care of him when he was sad. I think this incident colors what I was previously doing. If he and I ended okay in the end, I would feel that it isn't something bad...like my effort meant something. But, my biased view is now that I was discarded, so the last two years were just nothing. You know? This is something that I can honestly admit.

He is clinically depressed. I wish I can talk about things with him, but I think he is icing me out...but...no, keeps showing up sometimes. This behavior is very confusing.

posted May 02, 2016 12:27 AM              

quote:

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Originally posted by happyaskings:
He'll be back, but I wouldn't let him back in.

I really don't think its a question of him coming back. He will. I think you need think about your wants/needs and if they were being met/if this relationship was right for you.

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posted May 02, 2016 04:38 AM            

He makes it all about himself... how crappy everything is for him blah blah blah.
I've been in a similar situation with a Scorpio ex and it is not worth being dragged around. Don't wait about for him, don't let him soften you by playing the martyr. Do what you have to do and what is best for you.

posted May 02, 2016 04:57 AM            

I had tried to contact him about settling the utilities. He contacted my friend and said, basically "I'm still feeling rather fragile and don't want everyone seeing me cry in public if I can't cope though. I don't feel able right now, but I'll communicate with [me] next week if I feel a bit better." This is coming from someone who left ME.

posted May 02, 2016 05:07 AM            

Would the best thing be to just leave?

posted May 02, 2016 05:23 AM            

The furniture is communal, but technically I bought it for the apartment.

posted May 04, 2016 11:13 AM            

Second, I don't believe he's depressed. He may have gotten a diagnosis of it, but it's way too easy to get that (at least in the US), and I know that sometimes they're wrong. I know one diagnosed with that when she wasn't even looking for that (she asked for tests on her thyroid and such) and was sold pills for depression which caused her to have a psychotic breakdown (and institutionalized, and nearly killed before the cops intervened in her self-destructive behavior--had she died as a result before she was saved, it would be labeled as death due to depression, and it would've been BS, just as the diagnosis itself was) as she shouldn't have been on them in the first place, which was determined after several blood tests and other tests were made once she was institutionalized which her regular doctor (that she dropped after this incident) never performed before diagnosing her with depression.

I've looked into it, and clinical depression typically results in lower sex drive and avoidance (sometimes extreme avoidance) of social activities. Yet your guy is partying and getting it on with other women. His being depressed is BS, and is just a diagnosis (whether he gave it to himself or managed to easily gain a BS diagnosis from a doctor, switching doctors if he had to until he got one) to manipulate you in putting up with his BS, a "get out of jail free" card if you will. And it works, you're even feeling obligated to take him back. Why would a manipulative ******* like him NOT use the label of depression when it works so well?

posted May 04, 2016 11:35 AM            

The thing is, he DOES have a lower sex drive (at least from what I knew).

Also, I don't know if this was cheating. I would not say it was cheating, per se. I don't really actually think he was getting it on with these girls, but he did go out with them, and he didn't tell me or lied about doing it. So, that is why I was upset...just the lying. Probably he could be the type to cheat, but his state makes him very weakened, if that makes sense.

When I say parties, I mean, like...social dinners, not like partying at a club.

He has symptoms of depression, from what I observed.

posted May 27, 2016 01:21 PM            

I don't know the exact placement of your planets, and I hate to be alarmist, but I am concerned about you because Mars has just retrograded into Scorpio, so he is not to be trusted right now with all his scorpio placements and your double whammies of Saturn/Mars conjunctions.

If you have to talk to him, meet him at a public place like Starbuck, not at your home or anywhere private.

I don't know what the housing laws are where you live, but if you can legally change the lock on the door, do it! Heck, if you can move out to another place that he doesn't know, do it.

posted May 27, 2016 01:56 PM              

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:
This is one instance where having Pisces rising makes you a sucker.

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I have this, and I agree.

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:
ETA: If you cannot cut him out of your life right now, pretend to be accommodating and be nice to him while planning a long term exit strategy.

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And *this*--->

quote:

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Originally posted by Belage:
Now is not the time to get in a fight or argument with Scorpio individuals. Not with mars retrograde in Scorpio.

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