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Author
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Topic: TW: Sexual Assault, Chiron Square Mars?
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Mergoatsun
Knowflake Posts: 617
From: Michigan, USA
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted May 29, 2016 01:36 AM
  
TW for abuse and sexual assault.
I'm having an inner-dilemma right now. My ex was back in town and really wanted to see me again. I hadn't heard from him in a couple of years and considering we broke up because he left to be in the marines I was curious to see how he was doing. I currently have a boyfriend, so I checked with him first to make sure he was okay if I went out to coffee with my ex. I reassured my boyfriend it was strictly platonic and just for catching up. I was also very firm with my ex, friendship only, nothing else. My ex wanted to pick me up and drive us, and knowing how old fashion he is I agreed. My ex was the first person I consented to having intercourse with when I was younger. He claims he didn't know I had been raped before him. To make a long story short I was in his car when he decided to take a detour and inappropriately touch me after I told him no and to stop repeatedly. He must of felt entitled to my body because he had it before. I just froze because my body knew there would be no way I could fight or flight out of the situation. He finally stopped when he saw that I got really shaky and had tears in my eyes. Doing more research I realized that when I was first raped I had Chiron Square Mars in transit and then with the new sexual assault I had Chiron square Mars again. I'm also torn on whether or not I should tell my boyfriend, if I do I want to tell him after his board exam. I feel so stupid for getting in that car and freezing up, but I feel like I can't tell anyone because I put myself in that bad situation. I don't want to go to the police because I don't want my character to be put on trial. I'm really just falling apart, and I want to know if Chiron square Mars is the culprit. I also have Chiron sextile Neptune. ------------------
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-Dalai Lama IP: Logged |
Violets
Knowflake Posts: 6011
From:
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted May 29, 2016 01:41 AM
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I don't know about that transit, but I'm sending love and compassion to you, and healing to the best of my mortal ability.  Love to you, Mergoatsun.  IP: Logged |
Mergoatsun
Knowflake Posts: 617
From: Michigan, USA
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted May 29, 2016 01:46 AM
Thank you Violets. I'm trying to find balance again, I'm going to try some more meditation. ------------------
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-Dalai Lama IP: Logged |
florence
Knowflake Posts: 1137
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted May 29, 2016 08:46 AM
I have that natally and have had some issues with boundariesIP: Logged |
Gemmi
Knowflake Posts: 140
From:
Registered: Dec 2014
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posted May 29, 2016 01:20 PM
I feel sorry for what happened to you. I think that tr Chiron square Mars might potentially have been related to it. What houses and signs were involved? Transiting Chiron (6th house in Aquarius) was squaring my natal Mars (3rd house in Scorpio) when I experienced mobbing at work, from my boss. No assault, just psychological mobbing. Transiting Chiron was joined by transiting Neptune at that time though.
IP: Logged |
Mergoatsun
Knowflake Posts: 617
From: Michigan, USA
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted May 29, 2016 01:24 PM
Interesting Florence, Chiron is so mysterious.Gemmi, my Chiron is in 12th house Libra, my Mars is in 3rd house Capricorn. Perhaps my "freeze" reaction is related to the 12th house. I can see dissociation and trying to escape reality there for sure. That also probably has to do with Chiron sextile Neptune, I want to escape to a dreamy world and not confront what happened. ------------------
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-Dalai Lama IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 17858
From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted May 29, 2016 01:27 PM
Oh that is so horrible.  Sorry for your pain, Mergoatsun. IP: Logged |
Gemmi
Knowflake Posts: 140
From:
Registered: Dec 2014
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posted May 29, 2016 01:35 PM
Do you have Chiron square Mars natally? Is Chiron in Pisces currently transiting your natal 6th or 7th house?
You are probably right about the “freeze” reaction and tendency for dissociation. IP: Logged |
Belage
Knowflake Posts: 2166
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 29, 2016 01:41 PM
I am so sorry to hear what happened, Mergoatsun. I can feel your pain through the screen. You did not do anything wrong. But I understand not wanting to go to the police and have your character on trial. I think you should tell your current boyfriend, though. Otherwise this is going to undermine your relationship because it's going to fester like a untreated wound. It looks like you are Scorpio rising. The transit of Chiron square Mars could be symbolic of what happened, but I also think Mars retrograding into Scorpio is also a trigger. Your ex is a Marine, a very masculine occupation, which qualifies perfectly as Mars in Scorpio. Again, sorry you are going through this. With Mars retrograding into Scorpio, we are going to hear many more such stories in the weeks to come. Be careful everyone. IP: Logged |
Ceridwen
Moderator Posts: 26216
From:
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted May 29, 2016 01:54 PM
I am so sorry for what you had to go through.  IP: Logged |
Mergoatsun
Knowflake Posts: 617
From: Michigan, USA
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted May 29, 2016 02:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Gemmi:
Do you have Chiron square Mars natally? Is Chiron in Pisces currently transiting your natal 6th or 7th house?
You are probably right about the “freeze” reaction and tendency for dissociation.
No I have Chiron square Sun natally, my mars square would be too big of an orb. Chiron in Pisces is transiting my 5th house (I have Pisces in Saturn in my 5th house) so that could explain the depression I'm feeling and lacking creativity right now. It will soon be in my 6th house ------------------
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-Dalai Lama IP: Logged |
Mergoatsun
Knowflake Posts: 617
From: Michigan, USA
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted May 29, 2016 02:42 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
Oh that is so horrible. Sorry for your pain, Mergoatsun.
Thank you. Hopefully in the future I can use this pain to help someone else who has gone through a similar situation. ------------------
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-Dalai Lama IP: Logged |
Mergoatsun
Knowflake Posts: 617
From: Michigan, USA
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted May 29, 2016 02:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Belage:
I am so sorry to hear what happened, Mergoatsun. I can feel your pain through the screen. You did not do anything wrong. But I understand not wanting to go to the police and have your character on trial. I think you should tell your current boyfriend, though. Otherwise this is going to undermine your relationship because it's going to fester like a untreated wound. It looks like you are Scorpio rising. The transit of Chiron square Mars could be symbolic of what happened, but I also think Mars retrograding into Scorpio is also a trigger. Your ex is a Marine, a very masculine occupation, which qualifies perfectly as Mars in Scorpio. Again, sorry you are going through this. With Mars retrograding into Scorpio, we are going to hear many more such stories in the weeks to come. Be careful everyone.
I'm actually a late Libra riser, I'm almost a Scorpio riser. but yeah everything you said is lining up in my head. Thank you for your support.
------------------
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-Dalai Lama
IP: Logged |
Mergoatsun
Knowflake Posts: 617
From: Michigan, USA
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted May 29, 2016 02:44 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Ceridwen:
I am so sorry for what you had to go through.
Thank you for the support. The situation is still raw, but it's nice to see that there are kind people in the world IP: Logged |
Nyctea
Knowflake Posts: 325
From:
Registered: Dec 2015
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posted May 29, 2016 03:17 PM
I'm sorry about what happened to you, Mergoatsun. I hope you feel better I'll watch out for this transit from now on. I have Mars square Chiron exact natally, Chiron is in the 4th and Mars in the 7th. I was never sexually abused but it's my worst, deepest fear. I noticed older and disgusting men giving me dirty looks a lot and i almost got hit by a bus once while trying to walk faster. I was so scared of the whole situtation that i started to cry. This world is horrible. It could be a "Mars retrograde in Scorpio thing" too. Recently in Brazil a girl got raped by 30 men at once. I don't even have words for that.
Again, i'm so sorry... IP: Logged |
Nyctea
Knowflake Posts: 325
From:
Registered: Dec 2015
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posted May 29, 2016 03:20 PM
We have to be extremely careful, just because we're women.IP: Logged |
iQ
Moderator Posts: 4945
From: Lyra
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 31, 2016 08:26 AM
Though repeat of negative Natal Aspects in the sky increase the chances of a challenging event, Mars Retrograde combined with Saturn retrograde in the sky further increases the probability of acting negatively. Something very dark had to be in the ex's chart as well to get triggered even when told clearly that this was a friendly meeting.
IP: Logged |
theunknown
Knowflake Posts: 2912
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted May 31, 2016 03:36 PM
You didn't do anything wrong. I wouldnt say you put yourself in that situation. YOu should forgive yourselfI am sorry these situations happened to you. IP: Logged |
Mergoatsun
Knowflake Posts: 617
From: Michigan, USA
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted May 31, 2016 03:47 PM
quote:
Originally posted by iQ:
Though repeat of negative Natal Aspects in the sky increase the chances of a challenging event, Mars Retrograde combined with Saturn retrograde in the sky further increases the probability of acting negatively. Something very dark had to be in the ex's chart as well to get triggered even when told clearly that this was a friendly meeting.
That night I had natal nessus conjunct transit mars and opposite transit sun. Not only that but I also had natal chiron square pluto, pluto conjunct mars and opposite sun. My chart was just so screwed up ------------------
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-Dalai Lama IP: Logged |
Mergoatsun
Knowflake Posts: 617
From: Michigan, USA
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted May 31, 2016 03:59 PM
quote:
Originally posted by theunknown:
You didn't do anything wrong. I wouldnt say you put yourself in that situation. YOu should forgive yourselfI am sorry these situations happened to you.
Thank you, it sucks, but it reminds me that I'm human and with being human comes suffering. ------------------
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-Dalai Lama IP: Logged |
Mergoatsun
Knowflake Posts: 617
From: Michigan, USA
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted May 31, 2016 04:01 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Nyctea:
I'm sorry about what happened to you, Mergoatsun. I hope you feel better I'll watch out for this transit from now on. I have Mars square Chiron exact natally, Chiron is in the 4th and Mars in the 7th. I was never sexually abused but it's my worst, deepest fear. I noticed older and disgusting men giving me dirty looks a lot and i almost got hit by a bus once while trying to walk faster. I was so scared of the whole situtation that i started to cry. This world is horrible. It could be a "Mars retrograde in Scorpio thing" too. Recently in Brazil a girl got raped by 30 men at once. I don't even have words for that.
Again, i'm so sorry...
Oh yikes! I'm not liking this Mars in Scorpio retrograde, it's way too violent for my libra rising self. Also thank you for your kind wishes ------------------
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."
-Dalai Lama IP: Logged |
theunknown
Knowflake Posts: 2912
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted May 31, 2016 10:45 PM
If I remember correctly, you're a Venus in Aquarius. That's your chart ruler. You are supposed to learn discernment in how you relate to other people. 1 in 3 women are raped because that's the chance women meet jerks, men with masculinity problems, or just bad people. When you think in that terms, you'll forgive yourself and you will be much less anxious about telling your current bf. If he's truly a kind person, he would know to understand how you feel. Being a human being comes with suffering, you're right. But it's much worse to live in fears IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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