posted June 13, 2016 07:37 PM            

Are they just obsessed with love while having sex on the side with all they can, to express domination and contempt to others as much as love and devotion to their one and only? This is the best way I can understand it, but part of the spin is that Scorpio needs an emotional connection to truly enjoy sex ('course, emotional connections could be negative as well as positive).

posted June 13, 2016 07:37 PM            

The Scorpios I knew well were not that way. I knew (that I can think of offhand) 3 broken Scorpios, but only one was obsessed with sex (and in her case she could not stay in a relationship), while another cynically used sex, and the other seemed to not care for it at all (though she was by no means inhibited or conservative, she was an incredibly reckless wild girl, she just didn't care about sex). Hmph, I did know one other who was more the devoted kind (and she was less obsessed with finding a guy than most other women), but when she had a nervous breakdown she had some very wild sexual adventures before she snapped out of it. I also knew a teen Scorpio guy who, as far as I could tell, was faithful to his girlfriend, and he was also kind to me (also a teen) without ever making me feel as if he were attracted to me (he had the "protective big brother" vibe).

posted June 13, 2016 09:26 PM            

"Scorpio children do not come into an atmosphere that is warm and loving, often a parent may be missing. Often Scorpios are unwanted children. Scorpios born into this type of atmosphere pick up all the unpleasant vibrations. Like any infant, Scorpio needs lots of attention and love but the father ignores the child and the mother often gives only minimum care, food, shelter, diaper changes etc. There is little affection, warmth, holding. Later the parents feel guilty about not giving this child love and try to make it up by spoiling him, or by providing opportunities in life. But the little Scorpio isn't buying it. The child needs affection early in life, and the allowance and extra privileges he get's later don't mean anything; and the parents end up thinking the child is ungrateful." (my own father's favourite insult was to call me an ungrateful little b*tch when in fact I was extremely grateful that I wasn't beaten or raped but I was very sad about the lack of love that I clearly saw and often the lack of food)

"Because of the early experience, Scorpio's are on a life-long search for love and affection. They search for the mother love that was missed in childhood. Scorpio's have a reputation as the "super sexed" sign of the zodiac, but they aren't as sexy as you would think. The young Scorpio male and female confuse sex with love, lust with love. If you have sex with someone they will love you, thinks Scorpio. So they learn how to be good at sex; but people who have a relationship with Scorpios often find that after the relationship has been established, the sexual part of it is not nearly as important as it was. Affection becomes more important to Scorpio's. When young Scorpio feels insecure they try to create sexual situations; it makes them feel secure when they think someone "loves" them. (If you love an immature Scorpio, and you are perceptive, you may feel that sex for them is not merely sensual pleasure but is used to control you.)"

"The Scorpio female carries within her a feeling of personal insecurity, a sense of worthlessness that can only be assuaged by getting into love relationships."

"The Scorpio male confuses sex with love, and finds it difficult to return the love that may be given to him since he saw little of it when he was a child. He feels uncomfortable admitting he loves someone; he feels this leaves him open to attack."

Most people do not understand how deep the inner feeling of un-wantedness can be in the Scorpio psyche especially with afflicted planets.

posted June 13, 2016 10:43 PM            

The natal chart, besides being a reflection of our upbringing, is also a reflection of how we process our upbringing and living circumstances.

First, Scorpio/Pluto types often take things more seriously than others. It can come off as paranoia, overthinking, and especially if the individual lacks aspects to Saturn or airy planets, can be prone to believing in conspiracy because Scorpio is an interpersonal sign, its view is subjective. So as they grow up, they tend to see difficult circumstances under a much more pessimistic light and hence there is often a fear of abandonment. Little actions from others can be viewed as betrayal, or threatening. Scorpio, after all is ruled by mars.

Second, Scorpio-pluto types are very big on self-preservation. And this point is very much related to the first one. These people as kids tend to pay attention to little things. They are highly in tune with every movement within their immediate surroundings. As children, they can often misinterpret their minor circumstances and make a mountain out of molehill. Plutonic types are thus often subjects to bullies because they react so strongly to their surrounding environment, pointing out all the different things that they see. So when they become adults, they tend to reserve their judgment to themselves to avoid mob attacks. With the "soft" aspect, these people are often subjects to prolonging deprivation often inflicted upon them by their parents, which lead to very acute awareness of life and very strong hatred towards the things reminding them of how they were raised.

Because of their inner need for self-preservation and how they are naturally in tune (at time, paranoid) with every little movement of life, they are prone to obsessively ruminate through every little details. When there is someone that they are interested in, their attention makes this person feels like he/she is the only one. I wouldnt characterize Scorpios as sexual as much as they want to examine every aspect of how someone would act, react in different circumstances. As Oscar Wilde once said, "Everything is about sex except sex," naturally a scorpio thinks that the sexual acts can reveal aspects about a person that is completely hidden from the view, which satisfy their intensely curious/paranoid nature. And because they examine a person so carefully, there is a special bond between the scorpio with that person that leads to people believing scorpios are passionate and sexy.

The whole self-preservation thing is a double-edged sword, because as a scorpio examine a person, he/she might realize that the other person has not been as in tune with life, is more gullible, is much more easily broken,... so abandonment issues creep in because in the mind of a scorpio, someone who is easily broken can easily betray Scorp too. (This might not be true, of course).

There is thus a sorta need for a scorpio to push others' buttons so they can see your breaking point, how far you will go, what is your deal breaker. Yes, they will trample over you if you are the gullible type. Scorps dont care for societal views of morality. As an interpersonal Mars ruled sign, they believe that you earn their respect by drawing your boundaries. If you cant, too bad. There's no fairness in a battle, just winners and losers.

Hence lots of scorpios cheat. And I can tell you this, lots of scorpio sun/moon/venus/mars/rising or heavy pluto people have secret lovers on the side that no one ever knows about. Scorpio types tend to also get married to people who are faithful but are not as strong-willed as they are, so they can keep these people under control.

Oh, of course the most fulfilling experiences for them is when they can connect with you, because they seek to connect with others at the deepest level. Due to their abandonment issues, the deepest kinds of connection brings them security. That said, they wouldnt mind having fun on the side, or having sex without attachment just to satisfy their curiosity about people. I would say that I have seen lots of scorpios around me use apps like Tinder *shrug.*

I mean, it takes some practices to be a master at figuring people out in sexual acts, and a scorpio/pluto heavy person would be very interested in knowing themselves inside out, so practicing with others is just a way for them to learn about themselves.

Another aspect is because they are interpersonal sign ruled by pluto, their transformation occur via interaction with others. So you often see a venus in scorpio gets into lots of fights with their lovers and then get make-up sex because after their blow up, they can ruminate over every detail and determine if the other person actually cares for them. THis is probably where their reputation for dramas comes from. They want to place themselves and others in various circumstances because that is the only way (in their mind) to see how the other person would act.

posted June 13, 2016 11:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Julz87:
Deepseablue, what book is this? could you recommend please.

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Astrological Insights into Personality by Betty Lundsted

posted June 13, 2016 11:23 PM            

Scorpio represents extremes. Either they are unaffected by you and you remain completely affected by them which is the "I attract people to me and seduce them easily." part or they go to the other extreme and are so affected by the person/job/activity that they obsess endlessly about it. They have to see change to feel anything.

Because Scorpio picks up where Libra left off, Libra sees the scales going up and down and wants to find the balance while Scorpio wants to embrace the extremes, you get a person that picks very carefully what it will do and when it makes itself known it's motto is "You'll either love me or hate me but you will not ignore me." Scorpio has to experience those extremes of "I'm completely in control/I'm completely out of control." It's like it has to dive deeper into the experience or drive the experience in the first place.

If we stop thinking that Scorpio is a sign about sex and instead see that it's a sign about merging with a desire for transformation we will understand why sex is thrown in with it. To merge with another is usually understood with sex. Like when people dream of having sex with someone they consider it inappropriate to have sex with like a family member, a best friend, a friend's partner, their boss, the interpretation is that they want to merge with them, to be like them or to embrace qualities that are like them. They are craving a transformation and the easiest way for us to understand that is through sex. Sex = not myself but not you, something new.

posted June 14, 2016 01:52 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by deepseablues:
Astrological Insights into Personality by Betty Lunsted

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posted June 16, 2016 01:25 PM            

In general I do not agree with the popular "prophecy" among astrologers that Scorpio is an omen for victimhood and abusive childhoods. At least not in the way that is presented. I will elaborate on this point a little later.

Why I disagree with that description of Scorpio sexuality - what Lundsted says about using sex as a misguided attempt to heal your wounds and sense of "unlovableness" is something typical for ALL people who have experienced severe rejection in their early stages of development - be it in the form of abuse, neglect or anything else. This is not the essence of Scorpio sexuality. In fact the creation of "basic shame" (a psychological term for the unconscious rejection a child experiences early on and the pain they carry for the rest of their life) is something much more fitting for Saturn.

Now the point about Scorpio's childhood wounds. I do not agree that they attract abuse. The reason so many Scorpio people become wounded is because of a misunderstanding of their nature which leads to developing that basic shame I explained earlier. Scorpio is extremely vulnerable. Everything affects them tenfold. A Scorpio child needs extremely attuned, sensitive and mindful nurturing. Unfortunately many parents do not understand this and unwittingly do not give their Scorpio child the security and connection they need. What seems like normal and good care to them, to Scorpio it feels like betrayal. So even with non abusive parents Scorpio still develops trust issues. And with abusive parents....it goes without saying. It is not that their nature attracts abuse and creates trauma but people not handling their nature properly.

About their sexuality - it again goes back to their vulnerability, intensity, dept and of course their trust and sense of control.

The logic behind Scorpio is actually very simple, it goes like this:

They are highly sensitive. They need "more" to feel content. People misunderstand their needs. People do not adequately fulfill their needs. They are left hurting. Pain feels unbearable to them. They must remain in control at all times to avoid this from happening again.

There is not a more vulnerable position in which a human can be in than during sex, both psychically and mentally. Are the dots starting to connect? Scorpio cannot stand to be vulnerable and at someone else's mercy because all their life when their well-being has been placed in the hands of others they ended up hurt.

Scorpio in general takes sex seriously. It's not just about the act. It's about power. It's about a sense of survival.

Even if they are promiscuous - that is when they exercise control by stripping sex of its emotional value which is its power.

Either way you can see it's about maintaining control and avoiding pain.

However taking sex a little too seriously or not placing value on it at all is the behavior of damaged or not very mature Scorpios who never truly get over the fact that reality will not carter to their needs and they end up with paranoia as their main driving force in life. They start expecting pain and think everything and everyone is out to get them.

Scorpios are described as "highly sexual" because the vulnerability, the trust and high emotional voltage in the act of sex is exactly the level of psychological intensity that fulfills them. The kind that very few people understand and are able to give them in daily life.

This does not mean having sex often or having sex with many different people, that's besides the point.

A sense of cautiousness about all things in life is present in all Scorpios but it varies from one person to another.

posted June 16, 2016 05:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by meyray:
However it is their goal in life to realize that just as much as others misunderstand them, they misunderstand the world. They need to learn that life and people to not hurt them on purpose. They need to realize that true power is controlling themselves, not the world around them. And that when they've achieved this, nothing can hurt them again.

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Beautifully put. And I feel like something is inspired in me, something not conscious yet, that might help me help a broken Scorpio I know, so thank you.

posted June 17, 2016 08:11 PM            

I don't necessarily disagree with what you said but I do think you misinterpreted a lot of what she has said as well as essentially re-written much of it to sound nicer but is essentially the same. But I do want to clarify for others, that I only posted excerpts from the book to specifically answer PixieJane's questions and she does have a more to say about Scorpio including many of the points you made especially about how Scorpio's main lesson is to learn to transform themselves first, and the world second.

She says "often" not always which is something people often gloss over, she does not say ALL Scorpio's are unwanted and she does not say anywhere that they are abused, or attract it or attract victimhood circumstances. She also gives other examples of the harsh environment that a Scorpio Sun may be born into, including that it could be a family member has recently died, the parents have split, or even that the Scorpio baby is simply born at an inopportune time so that the baby still does not receive the love it needs even though it may be very much wanted, but this will set up a subconscious FEELING of being unwanted or unloved that the Scorpio, depending on its soul evolution, may sub/unconsciously act out until it begins the self-reflection and transformation process. Another example is that people have secret feelings that are never discussed. Sometimes a parent truly does in some way dislike or resent a child and even knows it is wrong to do so and feels guilty about it so they keep it quiet. But a Scorpio child is so intuitive, sensitive and has such awareness of the human psyche that they intuitively pick up the feelings of dislike or resentment from a parent, though they may be subconscious in what they are picking up, each soul and personality is completely different including in their levels of evolution.

I myself in no way think that to have a Scorpio Sun means one will have an abusive childhood. I recognize my chart and circumstances are special and I don't correlate my experiences to all "Scorpio." In fact, Saturn does play a large part for me, however I mentioned what I did about my own father because I was in no way ungrateful EXCEPT FOR the lack of love, I resented this extremely and preferred my friends families, I at times even felt more cared for by my friends or boyfriends parents than I did my own father (I grew up without a mother). So it was just an example proving that for my case that statement was true, that I was made out to be ungrateful when I wasn't. Many people seem to correlate depression with ungrateful-ness which is a very upsetting thing to me that I would like to address and write formally about one day because I think many others with depression issues face the same attitude from others. (that we are somehow ungrateful because we are sad and have a need to process heavy emotions). I had a Scorpio best friend with a Cancer Moon (she also has Merc/Mars in Scorpio so she's very Scorpio though unconscious as of yet in many of her drives) for many years in high school and she was much more privileged than me in every way (love, money, security, food, clothes etc), her dad loves her to death and spoils the crap out of her (9th house stellium) and she has an ok relationship with her mom but there were still difficulties with personality clashes with her mother and she was born at an inopportune time (her parents splitting up and also her mother has many health issues including Hepatitis C that she has had since before my friend was born) and this friend does act out some of the un-evolved Scorpio tendencies especially with sex but also with emotional manipulation, though she has never been abused and has a healthy self-esteem. And the truth is, is that not every single Scorpio Sun will go through the phoenix transformation, it's an option, not a rule or requirement of the sign, some stay in their lower nature Scorpio selves their whole lives, some completely transform only continue to evolve higher, some repeat the cyclic process, starting as a Scorpion, becoming an Eagle, eventually transforming into a Phoenix, just to return back to a Scorpion again.

Again the examples I gave are for how an un-evolved/immature Scorpio may act out their subconscious impulses, but I think many Scorpio's that have begun the transformation process and have taken a deep look into their own abyss can admit that some of these points may have been true for them. I also would like to add what I posted regards Scorpio SUNS only. I take a firm stance against anyone who says planets in signs are the same or more than the Sun in that Sign. A Mars in Scorpio is not EVER more Scorpio than a Scorpio Sun (my ex has Mars and Saturn in Scorpio so I can even attest to this truth), and the same for the rest of the planets. I am not more Libra than Scorpio because I have a stellium in Libra nor am I more Libra than a Libra Sun. Scorpio is my ultimate being in this incarnation and I find it bothersome when people take importance away from the Sun Sign. No one but a Scorpio Sun can TRULY comprehend the sign, in my opinion, and even then... It's difficult

There is one point I do firmly disagree with you on, and that is when you say that "it is unfair that Scorpio is often mishandled at an early age." It is not unfair as Cosmic Law states that everything in the Universe is fair and just at the highest levels because there are no straight lines in the Universe as Everything returns to its Source, and everyone gets what they deserve, no more, no less. We chose our environment, our parents, our blueprint before we came into matter. It is said that this planet is a school where we who are rebels have come to learn the lessons of Life and Love. One of my favourite quotes is "It is said that this is planet is called the Planet of the Sorrowful Star. We are the rebel angels that set our will against the will of God in order to be Gods in our own right." I do not victimize myself in anyway whatsoever because I can openly talk about the pain in my life. I don't believe it's a "victimization attitude" or anything of the likes to openly admit you did not receive enough love or nourishment of some kind in childhood and to see how that has affected your life choices/experiences. It's no different than being able to admit whatever other lack you may have/had, for example if someone doesn't have enough food or clothing, they are not victimizing themselves in being open about that or in their search for more of that thing they lack. When a person doesn't receive adequate physical nurturing as a child, the most natural way to seek that out as an adult is through romantic/sexual relationships, as it's hard to have close physical nurturing contact with another adult without it turning sexual, and it's generally awkward to try and receive that nurturing in a non-romantic way when you have never properly experienced it before. It's such a deep topic which is why only Scorpio Suns can even begin to answer this question and most won't bother to try and explain it if they do have the insight. Once we know we don't really care to explain ourselves to everyone, because they really won't understand anyway.

I think it's important to be open and discuss our painful experiences, in informal settings, as I also think it's important to be more open and accepting of difficult emotions. I accept 100% that I chose and deserve everything that has and continues comes to me. It doesn't mean I don't have emotions, it doesn't mean I don't still experience pain and have many lessons but I do accept, and I am sovereign as all hell as a soul.

One of my other favourite quotes is "only that nature which is capable of loving humanity as a whole is capable of loving individuals wisely." And I think its a really great quote for Scorpio in general especially.