Author
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Topic: How not to react when your child tells you he's gay
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pire Knowflake Posts: 2376 From: France Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 15, 2016 05:57 PM
https://youtu.be/1df_i26wh-w Beware, it hurts people with a heart What being gay sometimes means in 21st century western world ( imagine other part of the world !!! ) not muslims.... Christians !! Nothing astrological, just a reminder in those difficult times IP: Logged |
PixieJane Moderator Posts: 8018 From: CA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 15, 2016 06:49 PM
ETA: never mind, maybe I'll share when it's in the right forum. I just did it out out of spontaneity. It was about the strange family (and their twisted morals) of a former lesbian girlfriend of mine.IP: Logged |
Valentine Knowflake Posts: 670 From: Canada Registered: Dec 2014
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posted June 15, 2016 07:59 PM
I didn't watch all of it, too disturbing, and sad.IP: Logged |
missblyss Knowflake Posts: 173 From: Registered: May 2016
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posted June 15, 2016 10:42 PM
How to react: love them just the same.IP: Logged |
DualGem Knowflake Posts: 191 From: GTA and Eastern Ontario Registered: Oct 2015
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posted June 15, 2016 11:00 PM
It depends on the family values, plus time and place make a difference too.If your in a place that's still stuck on tradition then it would be harder for your family to gain acceptance. But, if your in place where its commonplace or for years the gay community has been struggling for acceptance then it would be a lot easier for the family to be supportive. For example in Quebec its practically acceptable, in contrast to Alberta were they will treat you as a piece of dirt. =================================== Gemini Sun, Capricorn Rising Aries Moon Gemini Mercury Venus Taurus Mars Cancer IP: Logged |
fireopal09 Knowflake Posts: 668 From: Dallas,TX, Us Registered: Oct 2010
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posted June 15, 2016 11:16 PM
Bawling my eyes out. No child should be rejected. Pisces 7th house Moon and proud mother of my LGBT child.------------------ Claire "When going gets weird, the weird turn pro." -HST IP: Logged |
lalalinda Moderator Posts: 4820 From: nevada Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 15, 2016 11:22 PM
So what if they're gay, your love should be unconditional.Fireopal ------------------ Don't look back, you're not going that way. IP: Logged |
Violets Knowflake Posts: 6094 From: Registered: Apr 2011
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posted June 15, 2016 11:39 PM
quote: Originally posted by fireopal09: Bawling my eyes out. No child should be rejected. Pisces 7th house Moon and proud mother of my LGBT child.
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RoseLily Knowflake Posts: 336 From: Registered: Jul 2015
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posted June 16, 2016 12:32 AM
I have many friends of the LGBT community, they are wonderful people, who had to go through so much and had to go against a fear and a judgment from others I will never be capable of understanding. This video disgust me to a profound degree. That wench said she loved him, that's not what parental love is about. It's supportive, accepting if one's children, because YOU understand as the mother that your child is a precious thing that doesn't necessarily grow up the way he wanted to be, yet makes the most of what he was given. Such love is unconditional, her love is nothing but. It's full of clause and abstracts, like a contract. I love you means nothing when there's a "but" slipping in, it just means that you know the words, not that you have the right to pronounce them. I don't even want children later, I am terribly disgusted by pregnancy and I cannot for the life of me endure children, yet once you have one you have responsibilities to him, and never NEVER would I shun him for having the courage of living to the most of what he can be and provide. I'd be disappointed as a mother, in myself, if I learned that my children couldn't trust me enough to admit such a simple matter as the sexual orientation that isn't any of my business anyway. IP: Logged |
Aries23Degrees Knowflake Posts: 3029 From: South Africa Registered: Dec 2012
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posted June 16, 2016 01:39 AM
quote: Originally posted by pire: https://youtu.be/1df_i26wh-w Beware, it hurts people with a heart What being gay sometimes means in 21st century western world ( imagine other part of the world !!! ) not muslims.... Christians !! Nothing astrological, just a reminder in those difficult times
Not to downplay the video or anything, but the video shows a subjective experience that is unique to that relationship. It is important to note the nature of the relationship between parent and child or child and family, BEFORE coming out. If it is strained or restrictive, the coming out may not have a great impact on it. But if its warm and receptive, the coming out may be more positive. But most times, i always tell people to first be completely comfortable and loving of themselves and their own sexual identity, BEFORE bringing the external world in. If you have yet to accept yourself. Looking to others- even if the reaction is positive- may not instill true self-love within. Typically most parent's reactions of a child coming out to them are based more on what they have observed from the world and have been indoctrinated to believe, then what comes from their own inner experience. When someone close to us is "different", we often fear that this "difference" or perhaps "weakness",will reflect poorly on us or that we will also be ridiculed somehow. I often see this in the country of my birth with children that are born with what we refer to as "disabilities" i.e albinism, mental challenges, physical challenges etc. Perhaps we can't put being gay in the same category as a "disability". But I must note that the reactions are often painfully similar i.e rejection from society, ostracized by family, committed to a place far away, bringing "shame"/embarrassment to the family unit etc. As parents become more and more indoctrinated with creating the "perfect" children, now I am observing that even children who have weight challenges/ illnesses are falling into that bracket. But in the same breath, lots is changing-even in the very conservative good ol' South Africa. Perhaps the mass media cannot see the small differences, but they are there. As there are many parents who are just "over" this whole sexuality bias thing. Someone I knew when I volunteered at an LGBI centre was raised by his Dad.So he was very nervous and thought that his Dad would be very angry at his big reveal. They were sitting at a dinner table and the Dad responded with an indifferent "So,what's the problem really?" So it goes to show that people are different.And that not all of us are indoctrinated to hate and it is simply marvelous when everyday people demonstrate that.
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Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 67476 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted June 16, 2016 08:03 AM
I am a Born Again Christian/Messianic Jew, as many people know. I have clients who are gay, bi, etc etc etcI don't SEE race, gender etc etc I see people. We all are people. ------------------ Want to Read Simple, Fun,Sexy Articles on Astrology? Check Me Out, DUDE. http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 66135 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 16, 2016 10:37 AM
A parent's love should be unconditional.IP: Logged |
Faith Knowflake Posts: 17977 From: Bella's Hair Salon Registered: Jul 2011
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posted June 16, 2016 11:29 AM
quote: Originally posted by Aries23Degrees: When someone close to us is "different", we often fear that this "difference" or perhaps "weakness",will reflect poorly on us or that we will also be ridiculed somehow.--- As parents become more and more indoctrinated with creating the "perfect" children, now I am observing that even children who have weight challenges/ illnesses are falling into that bracket.
Great points, all of them. But I especially like these. --- Just wanted to add that obviously the school environments can be very influential and create a division between the parents' values and the child's...so often it seems like the parents and children don't even know each other that well after 18 years. Watching the above video, I was struck with the impression that they are speaking to each other almost like strangers. Yet they are all emotionally charged in a similar way, a family way. I don't like it when people film their families and post it on YouTube, I think it is a violation of privacy, and if you have any respect at all for your family, you won't do that. In this case the child obviously doesn't respect his parents, and with them calling him a "piece of s---" right after claiming to be so devout...yeah, I can't say I blame him. But the father was complaining that the son habitually posted negative things about his father on Facebook, and I think that was the main part of the contention, the worst part of it. Not even that the son was gay, but that he was publicly accusing his father of being a bad father all along, and his parents found him ungrateful for what they had tried to do for him. Who knows what the truth is? We don't know these people. More on topic ~ Obviously any evolved and emotionally healthy parent is going to love their child no matter what. Sexual orientation shouldn't be such a big deal, it's just one small part of who we are. Our culture is too sex-obsessed, and too label-obsessed because we are ego-obsessed....I guess that's why people blow it all out of proportion. All so sad. Please don't quote this. IP: Logged |
LaceyLeigh Knowflake Posts: 822 From: New Jersey Registered: Jul 2014
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posted June 18, 2016 12:21 AM
Very sad. How can you raise and supposedly love someone (your own child) and then completely disown them because of who they love? I don't get it. Hope all is well with him now.IP: Logged |