posted June 21, 2016 12:35 PM            

I have Pluto in 7th too and never had a long term relationship until the recent Libra that lasted 3 years.

I think the important thing here is to look at quality before quantity.

posted June 21, 2016 01:01 PM            

The most difficult part in my case is finding the right person. I can never seem to find that specific someone that completes the picture, and it manages to contribute to how isolated I feel 😢

Oh well...I'll just be waiting then...

posted June 21, 2016 08:37 PM            

21 is still young believe it or not. I've met people that were 23 and hadn't ever been in a relationship. I know you may be feeling anxious and feeling left out but from someone that's been in sh*tty relationships (and I wasn't in love w/ any of them) I wish so badly I could take back all that time I wasted. I could have been doing something else productive. So being in relationships really isn't everything . Just b/c you're in one, that doesn't mean it's going to go in your liking in any way shape or form at all.

posted June 22, 2016 01:52 AM            

Pluto in 7th house I'm not really sure is that bad... its more about transformation, and you might get transformed when being in a close relationship

posted June 22, 2016 08:54 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by soren:
genetics

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posted January 15, 2018 04:44 AM            

If it makes you feel better, I'm way older than you (32) and I haven't had a romantic relationship that lasted more than 3 months. Why? Honestly, it's a combination of not making relationships a priority and also not meeting the right guy. Some of us meet the right person early in life while others aren't quite as fortunate.

Many people stay in extremely unhealthy relationships for several years. I'm not one of those people. If a relationship shows red flags,then I'm leaving. I'm not the type to stick around and allow myself to be controlled and mistreated. Usually the people who stick around in unhealthy relationships do so out of a fear of being alone or because of financial reasons. Women, in particular, will often stick with an abusive man because they can't survive financially on their own. They lack the education, job skills and confidence to build their own life.

posted January 15, 2018 08:05 AM            

Does your Venus aspect Saturn?

My Venus conjuncts Jupiter and makes a wide trine to Saturn so love and abundance is definitely on the rador, but it might take awhile (Saturn).

posted January 15, 2018 02:07 PM            

I have transit Neptune in 5th house with Chiron so I feel I'm healing, I blame it on transits to be honest, I started relationships with Neptune and Chiron there and it felt creating stories in my head and then boom reality check with Chiron there... As for natal placements Venus is my 7th house ruler sits on my 8th house.

posted January 18, 2018 06:17 PM            

I used to have long gaps between relationships (of years) and relationships were shortlived (a few months at a time max). It felt lonely not having a relationship and then it was dissatisfaction and strife when in a relationship. I only liked the people I dated.

posted January 19, 2018 12:36 AM            

Pluto-Venus in 7th is a contradiction.

Venus loves people and interaction. Pluto dislikes interactions that don't lead to something "deep". But Venus just likes interacting-regardless if the connection is earth shattering or not.

Venus is more tolerant of people-viewing most people from an idealistic point of "who they are trying to be" rather than who they are.

Pluto sees people and is often fearful/suspicious of them. Often holding them at arms length.

Pluto has an incessant need to connect that borders on obsessive. So they can come across intense; overwhelming and too serious.

Venus has no such needs for intense interactions(unless aspected by Pluto or in Scorpio/Cap). They are just usually looking to have fun with people-regardless of whether they stray or stay.

Most believe say that they want the "Pluto" love i.e the live and die/ you are my all kinda love. But they don't. Not really.

They believe in a love that is breezy, romantic and packaged to live to their own delusions of what they want the partner to be-no matter how many times they are confronted by the real deal.

If you want to have someone to date. You will have to play by societal norms i.e not every person you go out with is supposed to be " the one". And not every sexual experience you have with someone means that they are "meant" to be with you.

You will have to learn to ease off your Pluto energy and demand less of people. And only reserve your intensity for those who will reciprocate(because there are). The rest you can just be breezy.

The irony that u will find in love is that the more easygoing you are with partners, the more intense they may get. The less stringent your requirements are with them, the more they want to commit.

I too have Pluto/Venus in 7th. I have had plenty flings but few authentic bonds. I guess Mars conjunct Dsc likes the beginning stages and lacks follow through?

All the same however, i do understand Pluto in 7th need for that one powerful bond. But in all honesty, such a bond happens over time and is incremental. Not sudden.

And often its the urgent "now or never" feeling of Pluto that makes us believe that it has to happen overnight. Because that is what we project, that is what scares people. Its too much too soon.

If we had to look through the eyes of others and see how they see us. We would be weary of ourselves too.

posted January 19, 2018 04:19 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Where is Moon? And what aspects are there?
Any planets aspecting the Ic?

Pluto-Venus in 7th is a contradiction.

Venus loves people anx interaction. Pluto dislikes interactions that don't lead to something "deep". But Venus just likes interacting-regardless if the connection is earth shattering or not.

Venus is more tolerant of people-viewing most people from an idealistic point of "who they are trying to be" rather than who they are.

Pluto sees people and is often fearful/suspicious of them. Often holding them at arms length.

Pluto has an incessant need to connect that borders on obsessive. So they can come across intense; overwhelming and too serious.

Venus has no such needs for intense interactions(unless aspected by Pluto or in Scorpio/Cap). They are just usually looking to have fun with people-regardless of whether they stray or stay.

Most believe say that they want the "Pluto" love i.e the live and die/ you are my all kinda love. But they don't. Not really.

They believe in a love that is breezy, romantic and packaged to live to their own delusions of what they want the partner to be-no matter how many times they are confronted by the real deal.

If you want to have someone to date. You will have to play by societal norms i.e not every person you go out with is supposed to be " the one". And not every sexual experience you have with someone means that they are "meant" to be with you.

You will have to learn to ease off your Pluto energy and demand less of people. And only reserve your intensity for those who will reciprocate(because there are). The rest you can just be breezy.

The irony that u will find in love is that the more easygoing you are with partners, the more intense they may get. The less stringent your requirements are with them, the more they want to commit.

I too have Pluto/Venus in 7th. I have had plenty flings but few authentic bonds. I guess Mars conjunct Dsc likes the beginning stages and lacks follow through?

All the same however, i do understand Pluto in 7th need for that one powerful bond. But in all honesty, such a bond happens over time and is incremental. Not sudden.

And often its the urgent "now or never" feeling of Pluto that makes us believe that it has to happen overnight. Because that is what we project, that is what scares people. Its too much too soon.

If we had to look through the eyes of others and see how they see us. We would be weary of ourselves too.

---

Very, very insightful, Aries.

Where was this post 7-8 years ago when I was in High School trying to figure out why I was so ‘different’?!

I have a Scorpio stellium in my 6th house including my Libra moon that makes a sextile to my Sun in Scorpio so my chart is still all connected even moreso than ‘normal’..

Pluto rules my 7th, located in the 6th.

Mars is just above my 7th house cusp line and conjuncts Pluto while opposing my ASC (1st degree Sagittarius).

Pluto conjuncts my Sun.
Venus is in Scorpio.
Jupiter is at 0 degrees in Scorpio right on my 6th house cusp conjunct my Scorpio stellium so everything overlaps.

That Pluto ruling my 7th is just the icing on the cake.

Everything Aries mentioned hits home.

I have always wondered why I never had this ability like most of my peers. I’m too intense for everything and men would just run away (sometimes literally). My friendships were a completely different arena ironically. All of my friendships were light, breezy, but solid. They were intense in the sense of a strong bond, but not emotionally.

My relationships with the men I dated in the past kept being just one intense affair after another with them all ending the same way: they either break up with me or completely erase me from their life without any notice and I end up going into a crazy frenzy trying to recover what I lost. I’m still trying to heal from the psychological trauma til this very day. Although I will say, I am much more wiser, happier, and have made extreme progress in becoming more self aware and figuring things out on my own related to my own intense nature.

I said all this to say, I am currently in a very fulfilling relationship with another Plutonian (He has Scorpio ASC, Pluto in the 12th, Venus opposite Pluto are a few of his aspects.) and my intensity is finally recirpricates, sometimes even moreso. What I will tell you from my own experience, it still won’t feel the same as it did with previous intense affairs. Once you finally find someone to reciprocate those feelings, it kind of evens it all out so you won’t have to carry all of that weight by yourself. Are you following?

It will still be intense, but without all the negative feelings. You won’t feel burnt out or exhausted afterwards. At least that’s how I felt chasing all those ‘breezy affairs’ wondering why no one wanted to go deeper.

And it does get better with age.

It took all of high school, college, graduating from college, etc to find what I have.

It definitely didn’t come easy and I had to clear a lot of karma.. while also going through extreme pain. It was ALL worth it though. I can say that. It almost feels unreal because when I reflect, I never thought I would be at this point.

Word of potential advice: You attract what you are.

Keep trying to find answers.

Dig. Dig. Dig.

Question those feelings when they come up.

Try to train yourself to let go of people, situations, etc.

Practice in small ways first. Always start small.

You are intense by nature.
You are intense for a reason.

And it’s beautiful.

Your heart beats for a thousand people.

Don’t let society change who you are.

There are more like you.

We’re like the treasure you find in the deepest darkest parts of the ocean.

There’s nothing wrong with you.

Once you start healing yourself, you will start to attract what you need.

posted January 19, 2018 08:22 AM            

I am glad that what I said resonates.

posted January 19, 2018 10:24 AM            

quote:

---

Word of potential advice: You attract what you are.

Keep trying to find answers.

Dig. Dig. Dig.

Question those feelings when they come up.

Try to train yourself to let go of people, situations, etc.

Practice in small ways first. Always start small.

You are intense by nature.
You are intense for a reason.

And it’s beautiful.

Your heart beats for a thousand people.

Don’t let society change who you are.

There are more like you.

We’re like the treasure you find in the deepest darkest parts of the ocean.

There’s nothing wrong with you.

Once you start healing yourself, you will start to attract what you need.

I get you.[/B]

---

posted January 19, 2018 07:14 PM            

Everyone is on their own timing. Just because almost everyone else of your peer group is dating and having sex doesn't mean you should.

There is a mate for everyone who wants one, so you'll eventually find one. It took me until I was nearly 39. Sometimes we're just (intentionally or unintentionally) clueless and miss out on relationships with someone right in front of us because we don't actually want to take the emotional risk or the risk it won't last.

Some of us are (painfully) smart enough to not engage in relationships when we know our self worth is $#!t.

posted February 03, 2018 03:50 AM            

The point is that you HAVE a boyfriend. The relationship between you and he may be unconventional, but its there. You have someone in the background.

This is different from someone who does not have ANYONE. The loneliness becomes palpable and you end up thinking that there is something wrong with you.

No-one person can fill u up. That much is true. That you can only do urself and then pour out to others.

To get someone, one needs to change their ideas about others. Truth is that there are always people out there for you. But it takes a change of mind to actually "see" them.

Emotionally we may be closed off or have our defenses
up and not let other people in. It turns people away or has them think that we are not interested in them.

posted February 03, 2018 10:24 AM            

I don't want to be presumptions but
Are you under pressure to enter a relationship from a "cultural perspective???".

In my background its sorta expected to be in relationship and have kids by my age.

I'm nothing like the rest of them...