posted June 23, 2016 09:50 PM            

I was supposed to graduate from college this past May, but I ended up having to do another year.

I don't get along with my parents, my family, but mostly my father. He's very cruel and verbally abussive (He has Sun square Saturn/ Mercury) and my mother is the total opposite, but for the sake of peace, she won't intervene.

The plan was to stay home until I graduated from College, but my father recently came home from prison and him being in the household has caused a lot of heated arguments and confusion. We do not get along. It's funny because I used to idolize my father even though he was cruel back then too. I guess now that I'm older, I'm tired of it. Anyway, I'm in a lot of emotional pain because I feel like everyone I thought loved me, isn't here to support me. I feel alone and vulnerable. Every aspect of my life is in flames.

I'll be moving out soon and I'm terrified. I feel like this was sudden and I had no time to plan. I'm moving into a college apartment in my hometown and close to campus so it's not major, but I know things will never go back to how they used to be after this move is made. I'm nervous and I don't know what to expect. I have so much anger and recentment towards my parents, but I love them so it's hard finding a positive and effective way of dealing will all of this. I smoke constantly. I have never felt this low in my life. My family all secretly wants to see me fail. My family is really messed up, my emotiona aside. It's horrible and the only thing keeping me going is the thought that someone always has it worse and I kinda do love my self enough to want more for myself. Once I move out and establish even an ounce of security, I'll feel better. Until then, I'm in hell.

When will hell be over?

Will it ever end?

When will Pluto fall exactly on my moon?

When will these Uranus and Pluto transits end?

Please help me.

posted June 23, 2016 10:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ayujegeg:
I say move out, with all that 6th house energy, you'll be fine with financial security, material security etc. The constant emotional upheavals you experience in the house will suck the life out of you and make you depressed.

Emotional health comes first before financial security. If you feel emotionally balanced everything else will fall to place.

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Thank you for saying that.
I need to hear someone else's point of view outside of my own and my environment.

and I feel the same.

I crave the comfort of my roots, but I like having my own tree and the way I like it.. if that makes sense.

I find I'm most content when I'm left alone in my own clean personal space being productive focused on tomorrow's duties. That's as peaceful as it gets.

posted June 23, 2016 10:25 PM            

You like your family roots? Seems like that area of your life to me looks a bit tarnished. You shouldn't be really concerned with that because 4th house is empty. And I don't think you've had any proper strong roots, to be honest.

posted June 23, 2016 10:49 PM            

First of all, Venus rules your chart, so i am very sorry that your mom is not standing up for you for the sake of keeping the peace. This is a let down.

Looks like you will have to move out. so plan to do that. You can always come back with your tails between your legs if things don't work out. You're young and you're allowed to make mistakes. After all, your dad has made serious mistakes too, so don't let him or anyone in the family make you feel less than.