posted June 28, 2016 02:16 PM            

I have:

Sun square Saturn.
Moon trine Saturn.
Venus trine Saturn (very loose but it's apart of my stellium).
Mars square Saturn.
Ascendant square Saturn.
Pluto Square Saturn.

Pluto in the 6th, rules my 7th.
Saturn in the 10th, rules my 9th.

Growing up, my father was in and out of prison. He came home when I was 6 and then left again when I was 12 and now he's home again and I am now 22 years old. I used to idolize my father when I was younger, but now that I'm older, I see him for exactly who he is and to be honest, I don't like what I see. I resented him as a little girl and I resent him even more now. My dad grew up in foster care with a mentally ill mother and a pimp for a father so I keep that in mind often, but his coldness towards me and our relationship still hurts.

Here's the thing, my situation is rather unique because usually, if two people have a child and one ends up going end and out of prison, the parents aren't married let alone even together so the turmoil in the household isn't that severe, but in my case, my parents have been married for 25 years and they're still madly in love. My father is a decent man in general, meaning, he works hard and finds work wherever and whenever he can when he is home, he cooks, cleans, and understands human relating so he's loved by a lot of people, but I think he's a hypocrite to some extent. He preaches about respect and respect as a man and blah blah blah but he's verbally abusive to my mother and I. He says a lot of nasty and hurtful things. Nothing too off the wall, but it hurts enough to question his role as a father considering his already shabby track record as a parent. He's insensitive when it comes to my resentment and doesn't view it as that big of a deal because his favorite line is "life goes on". My mother feels the same way. On one hand, he tries to discipline me for "being disrespectful" (according to his twisted definition), but then will turn right around and disrespect me and my mother by cursing and saying hurtful and mean things. Luckily, this is all he does. He's not an alcoholic or a drug user. He drinks maybe once a week and on Fridays so it's not that major but it's big enough to be concerned.

He has Sun and mercury square Saturn in his own chart along with Sun square Pluto and moon trine Pluto so his need to control his environment is paramount which is obvious through his dealings with me my mother and I. Not to mention, he has moon in Taurus with Venus and Mars in Capricorn.

How can hard Saturn aspects be overcome?

What can I do?

Like I mentioned before, my father is very verbally abusive and controlling. If he doesn't like something, it shouldn't be done. If it's not his way, it's the highway and my mother plays the submissive role through all of this. She doesn't care what happens as long as there's peace in the house which means my emotional needs often go unmet. My family has a lot of issues behind my father going to prison but his own inferiority as a father and man forces him to deny responsibility.

I wrote this post because I just recently noticed a pattern in my intimate relationships that are probably the result of unresolved issues between me and my father which stems from Saturn. He's verbally abusive so as a result, unconsciously, I become verbally abusive to most of my partners. I never noticed it before. I just thought I was being supportive when I ridiculed or criticized them on their shortcomings just like my father does until I started to realize none of my relationships were working out. He passed his trauma to me and I want to let it go. I don't want to pass this aspect to my children. It's horrible.

Does this sound like Saturn or another aspect in the natal?

Saturn is the father of restriction, limitation, etc. Saturn can be cruel and unforgiving and that's how I view my father.

Saturn reveals your insecurities on a silver platter and my father can't accept that his own daughter sees him for who he is. I had a lot of respect for my father when I was a little girl until I grew up and noticed how him talking to the two most important women in his life, was completely wrong. He preaches about respect and considers him a man of good character and moral standing but behind closed doors, he's just like every other father. I have so much built up anger and frustration towards him.

Do you al have similar experiences?

How did you overcome Saturn?

How can I cope with Saturn?

If you have both positive and negative Saturn aspects, how can you work with both energies?

Thank you in advance.

Answering one or two my questions would be greatly appreciated. Answer them all if possible, but I'm not counting on it.

posted June 28, 2016 02:35 PM            

I have:

Sun square Saturn
Venus trine Saturn
Mars trine Saturn
Saturn in the 7th

My father was not abusive but was very absent in my life as he was too busy working and didn't have the energy to put into the family. I'm 37 years old now and can say I did not 'heal' my issues until my first Saturn return which kind of makes sense. Essentially, Saturn dictates being one's own authority figure otherwise as you've discovered, you will project the repressed Saturn energy onto others which they will not appreciate.

Sun square Saturn leads to many self-worth issues but they are just imprints that we've led ourselves to believe in. Once we see them for what they are, essentially beliefs of another person who we believe has authority over us, we can change those beliefs and self-deprecation turns into self-empowerment. Healed Saturn issues resonate a power different from Pluto or Neptune, we become the true King and Queen archetype, confident in ourselves not because we rule over others but because we rule over ourselves.

Venus trine Saturn demonstrates that you already have an inherent knowledge of how relationships should work based on the old chivalry code of honor, respect, loyalty and duty. This relates not just to romantic relationships but every relationship which is why it bothers you that your father appears to be a hypocrite.

With Saturn in your 10th house, I can see you becoming very respected in your career, however do it because it exemplifies your true potential and don't use it as an escape to avoid dealing with your other issues.

posted June 29, 2016 02:31 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Saturn8_Me:

I have Saturn in retrograde (sign of father being absent in someway or another, in my case he was physically there but was not available-too focused on career-for a long time) in 5th: o

---

posted June 29, 2016 02:33 AM            

the first step to me is to really face the issues, as you do. You are becoming aware of an unhealthy pattern, and THAT is the most important, though just first step, to change it. It might take a while though.

posted June 29, 2016 10:49 AM            

It is good to have Saturn trine Moon and Venus. It shows that you will not easily allow yourself to be taken advantage of, and you can deal with reality as it is, instead of putting on rose colored glasses. So start with that.

posted June 29, 2016 01:50 PM            

on some levels I can relate
I have
Sun/Mars/Merc conjunction Square Saturn
Saturn is in Capricorn conj Nep and Uranus opposing Jupiter.
Saturn trines my Moon, ASC

my upbringing was very unstable, my parents got divorced before I was 1 and I visited my dad starting around 4 on holidays. My Dad also has his sun conjunct mars and merc in virgo, and his Saturn is conj his IC so his words are HARSH. his condemning criticism use to really cripple my confidence.. I was always scared of coming across as "stupid" which is true of my virgo moon having a complex with my intelligence. hes not a "typical" parent at all, never really enforced rules on me until I got older, I feel like he is very wild so in turn he raised me pretty wild when he had me lol. not the guy to change diapers or make me take a bath ya know? hes very controlling and it use to really bother me when I was younger.. controlling to the point where if I didn't do what he said he would ground me, take away my things or do whatever he could to make me do what he wanted to do which would include teasing.. manipulation.. whatever. he still tries.. and is slightly narcissistic but I know deep down.. he means well. his pluto is also conj his ASC btw.. ha he was also very reckless and was always doing dangerous stuff..off road racing, tons of drugs, extreme sports, fights.. which he still does some in a different way and I still worry about him. I use to have severe separation anxiety as a child and would have obsessive thoughts/dreams of my parents dying, especially my dad.. he partied all my life and it wasn't until he turned 50 he finally started to quit, and ive been with him through a ton of change through the years.. its been quit a ride!
I sort of have a bad time handling authority as well as being told what to do, lies, or any sort of "push", it reaaaallly brings out my Taurus rising and I'm really really stubborn to anything I'm not familiar with.. which I don't necessarily enjoy. and I def think this stems from that total control as a child where I couldn't even choose my clothes and I was constantly thrown in unknown/dangerous situations and told to "figure it out" or "keep up"

to be honest.. ive been on a continuous journey of healing and self renewing myself.. and ill think I'm doing pretty good until I realize how much is still inside me from all these years, and this will surface when I'm around my dad again and we start to fight and lord and behold I'm 26 and he still tries to have me do everything for him and criticizes me.
the pull between my dad and I has always been uncomfortably strong.. I believe our connection is karmic and that's the reason why the pull is so damn strong as well as intense. my dad and I have a very unique relationship, we are more like friends than father and daughter. weve partied together.. he doesn't shy away from telling me much. ive even helped him do some of his crazy schemes..

posted July 06, 2016 05:36 PM            

I've been working on my self-worth issues consistently and I will continue, but how can I get away from those burdens?

My father feels entitled to share his beliefs about me WITH me, but he also wants me to believe in them wholeheartedly regardless of how I really feel. It'd very disturbing. I can't pretend or force myself to go along with anyone's agenda if I don't agree on the set plans, ya know? Father or not, that's MY Saturn speaking up & quite frankly, I don't have the level of respect for him that he's asking for. He doesn't deserve the amount of respect I give, especially when he doesn't even recognize me as his equal.

posted July 06, 2016 07:51 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yanmorg:
How do I own my Saturn?!

I've been working on my self-worth issues consistently and I will continue, but how can I get away from those burdens?

My father feels entitled to share his beliefs about me WITH me, but he also wants me to believe in them wholeheartedly regardless of how I really feel. It'd very disturbing. I can't pretend or force myself to go along with anyone's agenda if I don't agree on the set plans, ya know? Father or not, that's MY Saturn speaking up & quite frankly, I don't have the level of respect for him that he's asking for. He doesn't deserve the amount of respect I give, especially when he doesn't even recognize me as his equal.

My mother is too weak and brainwashed to do anything. She doesn't even want to. It's very sad and heartbreaking but I'm learning how to detach and deal with it (Transit Uranus currently opposite my Moon and it just started transiting my Venus loosely.) I know you're supposed to respect your parents no matter what, but what about the bad parents? I don't care what the rules are, if you're a hypocrite or I feel you don't mean me any good, I can't respect you. My parents, of course, came from a different era.

---

posted July 06, 2016 10:54 PM            

Mostly, it is about understanding how to work with time. Plan and build and know you are creating a better life and you are in control, not others. It is a change of consciousness to knowing/feeling healthy control.

posted July 07, 2016 07:43 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
How to overcome such heavy influences of Saturn is really a creative act that is up to you, but generally, I'd say you have to learn to parent/father yourself. It means knowing your own boundaries, your own limits; being able to say 'no' to yourself without thinking it is a bad thing; being able to say 'yes' to yourself when you need to, regardless of what others (parents) might think/say.

Mostly, it is about understanding how to work with [b]time. Plan and build and know you are creating a better life and you are in control, not others. It is a change of consciousness to knowing/feeling healthy control.

[/B]

---

Is there a difference in how you get to this point depending on the aspect?

I have a Sun-Saturn square so is this concept naturally harder to grasp or does the square just mean I'll have a harder time separating from that outside authority which is hendering my ability to become my own authority?

What's the difference between a Sun-Saturn square and a Sun-Saturn trine or sextile? I just want to know how the energy would be handled differently.

posted July 07, 2016 08:07 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yanmorg:
How do I own my Saturn?!

.

---

I have moon-mercury sextile saturn in my natal. I realized some time ago that I was very harsh on myself. it does not matter what your father think of you when you know it is not true. You start owning it when you create your own structure and realize how you can be independent from other opionions and emotional support (moon-saturn). some people say that sun-saturn make for late bloomers as saturn limit growth, but if you think that saturn also gives strenght. think of the positive qualities of saturn (structure, organization, realistic, focused, responsible, respectable of the law, society law, etc) think that these qualities need to be internalized and seeked as part of the life path (sun-saturn)the more you focus on your own saturn (it is your chart after all), the more your father will dissappear from the scene. as you take over and life does not bring from outside the saturnian influence. does it make sense?

one thing i did when I discover I was very harsh on myself was to rephrase "in my mind" any negative statement i said mentally. i started to care for me but using my "superego" as a structure.. i never was able to wake up early or be on time (moon uranus does not help).. when i started this, now i have more discipline.... and i am not bringing saturnians to my life.. does it make sense? become yourself more saturnian (please the positive expression of saturn) and many "saturnians" nagging you will dissapear by magic or put it simply, they will have not effect on your or they will stop nagging you..

hope this help..

posted July 07, 2016 01:43 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
How to overcome such heavy influences of Saturn is really a creative act that is up to you, but generally, I'd say you have to learn to parent/father yourself. It means knowing your own boundaries, your own limits; being able to say 'no' to yourself without thinking it is a bad thing; being able to say 'yes' to yourself when you need to, regardless of what others (parents) might think/say.

Mostly, it is about understanding how to work with [b]time. Plan and build and know you are creating a better life and you are in control, not others. It is a change of consciousness to knowing/feeling healthy control.

[/B]

---

posted July 07, 2016 01:50 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Yanmorg:
Is there a difference in how you get to this point depending on the aspect?

I have a Sun-Saturn square so is this concept naturally harder to grasp or does the square just mean I'll have a harder time separating from that outside authority which is hendering my ability to become my own authority?

What's the difference between a Sun-Saturn square and a Sun-Saturn trine or sextile? I just want to know how the energy would be handled differently.

Is it me or is it actual outside influences who are preventing me from becoming my own authority?

---

i know the question is not addressed to me, but my two cents. I think that even with soft aspects the conflict is more about the archetype of the planets.. mercury-saturn and mars-saturn (in spite of the bad press) are better match than sun-saturn or moon-saturn. I think kannon hit on the nail about father yourself and create your own rules which them you say "no" to yourselve because this is part of controlling you (say you want to lose weight and controll the amount of ice-cream) that is moon-saturn by the way...