posted July 15, 2016 03:47 PM            

a short back story to what happened the last few years. long story short, i basically had a mid-life crises, breakdown, a dark night of the soul. this went on once i hit my 30s. i was in a very complicated, very archetypal relationship that mirrored all of my dark shadows that i needed to integrate within my psyche. this, and other things that happened in my life, and the friendships i had as well which catapulted into all this inner work, going within journey.

i left my very stressful, demanding job to save myself. i became really sick physically, mentally, and emotionally. i had adrenal fatigue which is an imbalance of the stress hormone cortisol -- plus i felt i also suffered PTSD (childhood traumas being triggered, came up)

at first, this going into the pits of the 'cave' happened for almost 2 years... then i came back to work, then another breakdown happened this last time around (so overall i've been going through this for over 4 plus years, with that gap in between). ever since then, i've been literally fighting for my life. the first year or so, it was very intense. there was this feeling of 'soul death' ....long story short, i stumbled upon the works of Carl Jung, which totally gave me light (insights) as to what the heck is going on with me!! that totally pushed and helped me to getting out of this 'cave'. over 2 years later, here i am, still struggling a bit, but healthier, and i feel like i am becoming back to Self once again.

throughout this journey, i wasn't healthy and did not have the energy to seek for another job, so i gave myself the time to heal. in between, when i would have the energy to even search for a job, i went to a couple of interviews. one of them (the one i really wanted) almost offered me the position, but then something happened where the company had to reasses the position, so that didn't work out.

so there is this feeling of 'bad luck' or almost there, but no cigar sort of theme happening with me in regards to my job search. i want to SEE what is going on in my transit chart that would validate this? if so, when will i ever get things running again? i used to be very, very good with manifestation, and making things happen. that was part of my career. and i LOVED doing it. but ever since this hard times in my life, it's SO hard to even motivate or gather energy to make something happen. I miss it, and would love to regain it back.

thank you

*PLEASE DON'T QUOTE

posted July 15, 2016 04:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
This will probably get moved to Personal Readings and then I will try to help.

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thank you Faith!! (love that name, so fitting coz i need it!!)

i will send you a reminder, if Randall chooses to move it

posted July 15, 2016 05:14 PM            

Don't worry, this is all TRANSITS. I figured that out just today. I was thinking, "is my life destroyed," but then I somehow saw my chart afresh and recognized that it was various bumping and grinding from the T-square. Like you, I was a very good manifester and I was in a pretty high-vibe place when everything turned to sh*t!!

I love your critical degree 12th house Leo Jupiter--it tells me that your struggles with mental health and negativity during this rough patch will only make your ability to manifest in your career and life stronger and more creative in the future.