posted September 08, 2016 04:05 PM            

Art and spiritual healing.. In many different expressions are I think what keeps me alive and thriving.

posted September 08, 2016 05:12 PM            

By studying astrology. Astrology made me see why i have such a "dark side" in the first place. Before astrology i used to believe that maybe i'm just an angry, troubled guy who was on his way to become a troublemaker, criminal, or whatever.

posted September 08, 2016 09:58 PM            

Then I remembered, I've been experiencing some synchronicities that are showing me how deeply enmeshed the light and darkness are. Like I've been having dreams where terror and exhilaration and aliveness are all happening at once, and it's just sublime.

^^ Tr Pluto is conjunct my 15 Cap sun now

Well I'm seeing and learning. The important thing for me is to maintain distance between my experiences and my sense of self. I am not the feelings that pass through me....I am beyond that, "dying to the past every moment" as best I can.

Scorpio being about death and all.

posted September 08, 2016 09:59 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by charlie:
I am not ashamed. I don't try to hide anything. I talk openly about my darkness. And I try to go with the flow since I know fighting it is pointless. If someone has a problem with me I will take it for what it is: they have a problem with me which means they don't need to be around me.

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Wisdom, C!

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posted September 08, 2016 10:17 PM            

I also learned that pretending something doesn't exist doesn't make it magically go away, if anything it just makes you more vulnerable to it. In my own experience, my worst experiences were when I had a positive attitude, probably because I let my guard down, while the best were times that I was sure I was going to suffer, perhaps because I was so alert. In any case, ignorance is a liability, not a defense. And there are times to flow and a time to smash (just like air, just like water), but the trick is knowing which is which.

Rather interesting in a paradoxical way, I showed a lot less barbarity in the name of survival (though I did show some, and unapologetic about it) and I accept greed as natural, though like virtue the vices must be kept in moderation. So being for the free market (not that I think it would cure all ills the way some do), I was surprised when even those who are much more suspicious of capitalism and scornful of greed told me not to feel guilty about the incredible profits I was making from the "collectibles" I made.

I've also showed more concern for others (such as picking up tacks off a bike trail, volunteering to aid the homeless, sweeping up broken glass that no one else would, taking care of animals not mine) when I think the morality of reciprocity is acceptable, and that life is harsh. Though for me, I do a lot of good BECAUSE life is harsh and unfair. I find it puzzling that others can only do good if they feel that the universe is ultimately good and will take care of everyone anyway (because then what's the point?). They in turn don't know why I don't just "give up." (Which is like asking me why I take a shower when I'll just get dirty again.)

posted September 08, 2016 10:18 PM            

Another problem some have is they think to feel something is as bad as doing it. Harry Potter dealt with that one much better (as have some myths) in how everyone has secrets, and everyone has good and evil, but what defines a person are their choices, not their impulses and desires. I accept that there have been times people I know, like, and trust have felt hostility or desire to harm me in some ways, just as they have good feelings for me. I trust them to act on the good, at least not do anything too terrible, just as I face impulses (sometimes even baffling ones that I know would be bad to act upon) and all is well, at least to me. Of course I know better than to exchange stories with them about when we felt like doing something terrible to the other person or even feeling that way.

I suppose some find it too scary to contemplate the darkness around them, and just how potentially dangerous the world is. As for me, I realize I'm alive because of a mix of luck and that an unknown amount of times people, even people I have not noticed or who seemed entirely friendly, have chosen not to act upon violent impulses toward me, but could've (and probably would've had circumstances been a little different). Aggressive sexual harassment (and worse) is not okay, but if they hold a burning lust that I don't detect then it doesn't bother me the way it would with some people (*). I'm okay with that. Others are not.

(* Interesting enough there was major drama because some guy got into the elevator at a convention with a woman and invited her to coffee, and this was seen as terrible. I figured that he was tired and tipsy since they left a bar and I personally wouldn't be unduly distressed by the offer, though I'd politely turn it down. What confuses people is they think I'm unaware of the dangers, but this is where I differ: the VERY MOMENT he entered the elevator, quite possibly at 3 PM, I'd have gone to "yellow alert" and not let him get behind me and stay alert. Not in a shifty eyed way, I'd be as polite as I could, and I wouldn't automatically assume he meant me harm--if I did then I'd get off--but "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." That is, I'd have been on alert even earlier than that woman was, but at the same time his inviting me to his room wouldn't phase me...though again, I'd refuse, politely, saying I was tired, but I would not shift my yellow alert for orange on the question alone.)

x

That said, the dark side can be benign. For example, men who have been conditioned that anything other than a few emotions is effeminate (so that feeling compassion makes them feel "less a man") can repress that side of themselves so that it becomes part of their dark side (with the same results, creating strange obsessive thoughts, seeking alcohol so they can let that part of themselves out, or projecting it into other men to punish them for it). Likewise, the evil can become the light (known, overt, open) in the form of wars, persecution, inquisitions, and other horrors while the dark (secret, hidden, taboo) is the hidden part that runs underground railroads, resistance movements, and secret saviors. Sometimes it's the darkness that heals the sickness in the light as well as vice versa.

There's another view that I know is common, that all that is dark is demonic, and not natural to the human condition. I can't even understand this view enough to comment on it at this time. They're convinced that fetuses wouldn't masturbate in the womb (as they do) unless the mother was involved in something demonic (because, you know, our erotic natures are somehow evil or impure in their view), for example, or that to acknowledge we have instincts once important to survival that have become problematic in our modern world is also somehow demonic and not natural to the human condition as opposed to modern civilization is what's actually unnatural and tough on our instincts (though worth it, IMO, but I acknowledge civilization comes with a price).

As a Plutonian I have to wonder if they're naturally blind, or if they blinded themselves on purpose, and as for myself I realize there's a dark in every light and a light in every dark (the yin-yang), though it's often overlooked (all those shadows and shades of grey in the nooks and crannies, or conversely the tiny pinpricks of light glowing in the dark, and how both need the other to make the cosmos functional and complete, and we need them in ourselves--but in harmony, under our control rather than we under its control, which is not possible without acknowledging it first).

I could also go onto how purpose drives things, like the difference between murder and self-defense, between malicious mutilation and life saving surgery. Perhaps this seems strange to you, but there are those who don't see that much of a difference between them, or they don't contemplate how the actions are the same with a completely different intent. I can.

posted September 09, 2016 04:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by scorpiogirl:
I'll answer with a question: What do you mean by "dark side"?

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Dark Side meaning
The need to control yourself & others
Manipulation
Irrational Mistrust
The inability to move on from past hurt/the need to embrace pain
Etc.

posted September 09, 2016 08:21 AM            

Then, find the light *within* that darkness.

Find a way to use it for the goodness of others, whether that be to validate their experiences, offer guidance, or simply let them know you hear them without judgement.

Pluto is darkness, but he is also transformation. That darkness can be transformed into light when we find a way to use it to uplift others.

posted September 09, 2016 09:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Voix_de_la_Mer:
IMO, know your darkness. Inside out.

Then, find the light *within* that darkness.

Find a way to use it for the goodness of others, whether that be to validate their experiences, offer guidance, or simply let them know you hear them without judgement.

Pluto is darkness, but he is also transformation. That darkness can be transformed into light when we find a way to use it to uplift others.

Having never known true darkness, we cannot appreciate and cultivate light.
That is Pluto's gift IMHO.

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posted September 09, 2016 09:46 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Gemini30:
How do i embrace it?

By studying astrology. Astrology made me see why i have such a "dark side" in the first place. Before astrology i used to believe that maybe i'm just an angry, troubled guy who was on his way to become a troublemaker, criminal, or whatever.

Astrology saved me in a way. It made me realize that my 1st house pluto, sun 8th house, moon conj pluto, venus opp pluto aspects are what makes me who I am today. And that I can accept. I now know when to use my dark energy and when not to use it.

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posted September 09, 2016 11:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by @lycat74:
I totally agree. I would say that sometimes astrology makes me feel like I am totally evil and going to hell. Sometimes btw (the Plutonian imagination can go to extremes sometimes). Did it take you a long time to accept it? Are you still accepting it?

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Yes i feel the same way!! Many of my thoughts have been "hell worthy" lol. It took me a long time to accept that i was like that. My moon is strong in my chart so my overactive imagination keeps me level-headed, so I know I'll never act out on those impulses. I would say after my Saturn Return, is when I finally accepted the darkness or my evil side.

My Saturn Return was brutal. Thoughts of suicide, anxiety, depression you name it, I had it. After my SR, I took some time to be by myself and just reflect on all that i have been through. In the process, I realized I am strong and can beat any let down. Now I embrace any challenges ahead cause I now know they are there for a reason, to make me stronger.

I believe a perfect quote for all Plutonians is "The night is darkest just before the dawn."

posted September 09, 2016 07:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by @lycat74:
Dark Side meaning
The need to control yourself & others
Manipulation
Irrational Mistrust
The inability to move on from past hurt/the need to embrace pain
Etc.

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Not so much me.

However, back when I think I was 22 (not sure), I had this terrible nightmare of a demon chasing me, like something out of Jeepers Creepers. It was morbid throughout and it finally caught me. Then it impaled me on 5 swords as it needed me filled with rage and despair for some ritual to work. But once I realized I was going to die, I just let go and there was no more "should" ("I should," "People should," "Life should," etc) and as I let those go a tremendous sense of peace overcame me and the demon became infuriated because it needed my anger and distress to make the ritual work. (And that's when I woke up.)

That peace was so intense that I meditated on it when I woke up. And then I put off the things I had planned and simply had fun all day after resolving to not worry about what I should do or how things should be for that single day. And it was one of the best days in my life.

Obviously if I lived like that 24/7 I'd have some real problems, but I do resolve to repeat this from time to time and having learned not to focus on what "should" be or happen or what I "should be doing" I find a similar peace. For me it's about finding the right balance, enough responsibility to get by but enough goof off time that it's actually worth it and saves me a lot of misery.

I've also learned to focus more on controlling myself than others around me, though I'm not some uptight Victorian as some on the net have imagined me as (and probably never would imagine me that way if they ever met me face to face).

Beyond that...I did fearlessly face the pain within me, got some interesting stories about that, but don't feel like sharing. It was all about healing, though, not basking in it. And it wasn't about "hugging my inner child" or some such, but I don't feel like describing it.

One possible quality about me that might apply here is many fans love their ships ("ships" is short for relationships, and means a focus on a canon or noncanon romantic relationship), and make all kinds of art over it, including YT vids. They're okay, but whereas most Buffy fans will look for Spuffy (Spike/Buffy), Bangel (Buffy/Angel), and many others (including some really weird or disturbing ones), I find myself loving fanmade vids like this that's more like a horror story and about grief than about love and sex:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aH3HNt8JbbM

Just to be clear, I find nothing romantic about it, it's tragic, and it completely drew me in (after years of not adding anything to my Buffy playlist, I added that one right away and it's one of my favorites). The lyrics are as haunting and tragic as the content of the video, it went so good together, and it draws me like a moth to flame, perhaps because things like that (the evil potential of passionate love) are a fear of mine (and I'm a Buffy fan).

posted September 10, 2016 09:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by @lycat74:
How do Plutonians embrace/accept their darker sides?

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everybody has a dark side, not just typical scorpio/pluto people. these people only have a harder or easier time (depending on aspects) controlling this side of theirs, simply because a more true potential exists here.

but to answer your question, I learned very early as a child that life is completely intertwined with death, so I have given up the need to control, and have become able to keep myself detached (especially from my own negative/dark thoughts), and I try to look at things and difficult situations from a third person's perspective, almost like a detective.

Anybody close to me has mentioned that I have "given up"! that is a bit true, as I don't try to change situations I cannot control and I take most things as they are, but there is still some part of me that has a strong need to experience a truly mutual and interchangeable dom/sub relationship, only sexually though, but it is okay with me if the other person wants it all the way (I believe it is resulted by me being abused as a child).

posted September 10, 2016 09:57 AM            

I read Stephen King, who is the KING of the dark side and that helps.

I am reading "Under the Dome" now.

It is amazing. It shows what happens when small minded mob mentality rules

Over 1000 pages of the worst of human nature

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posted September 10, 2016 11:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by @lycat74:
Dark Side meaning
The need to control yourself & others
Manipulation
Irrational Mistrust
The inability to move on from past hurt/the need to embrace pain
Etc.

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Ok, well...I guess what I'm trying to do is pinpoint the areas and the people of my life that I'm hurting with these behaviours. In general I try to allow them to cause as little harm in my life as possible. I don't think I can eliminate them but my goal is not to make the same mistakes again (I mean mistakes born from mistrust, etc).

posted September 12, 2016 01:35 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by @lycat74:
Dark Side meaning
The need to control yourself & others
Manipulation
Irrational Mistrust
The inability to move on from past hurt/the need to embrace pain
Etc.

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posted September 12, 2016 02:04 AM            

Pluto is my fourth dominant but I'm a Scorpio Asc Pluto in 1st

Its square my sun
Sextile Venus

I love the concept of Pluto and primal instinct but I am reluctant to introduce his force fully in my life and have a really bad time excepting not responsibility but Power (such as a CEO, manager, president, celebrity, whatever puts me in a form of some type of food chain with someone is not my cup of tea, I'm passionate but not extreme or controlling at all

The thing I've noticed about this aspect is that it really intensifies your outer personality and does give you magnetic powers, with Pluto its easy to get people to do what u want with Pluto even unconsciously..in fact its scary if not controlled properly. I believe any Pluto aspect with the sun most importantly Asc, moon, Venus , or DSC makes a great impact on our your personal attraction and sexuality. People see u more as a sex machine the tighter the aspect or placed in the 1st house especially..