posted September 18, 2016 08:07 AM            

Iīve been, on more than one occasion, called "a walking, talking, breathing embodiment of sex".

I got myself in a relationship with a man whose "was supposed to be soon Ex Wife" (because they were divorcing) found out she was pregnant. We tried staying away from each other, breaking up (I even quit my job because we were co-workers), but itīs like... impossible. He even referred to me as to his "Lilith" once.

My boss, usually an extremely professional, distant, serious business man is awkwardly attempting to flirt with me (kind of like testing the waters, which I pretend not to notice).

Itīs like... All of them see this shell, this higly sexualised being (against my will, for the most of it), but none of them bother with what the shellīs hiding.

And Iīve been hurt so many times as a result, that at this point, I automatically hide my emotions whenever someone shows up out of, I guess, some fear of them making me feel like a stupid idiot for feeling something for someone.

Itīs like, that what makes me myself, things I actually like about myself, are the same things that are preventing anyone else from loving me.