posted September 22, 2016 12:43 PM            

Some people are fortunate enough to have charts that lend themselves to having multiple nice aspects fall into place...but what if you're not so lucky?

posted September 22, 2016 01:33 PM            

Okay, you don't want that. Then you'll have to compromise and/or find additional ways to get what you want rather than putting your eggs in the One True Pairing vision (so you have your partner, and also friends, volunteer work, pets, anything meaningful, etc). Plenty of relationships work with lots of compromise (plenty also fail that seem so easy, too).

Compromise doesn't mean "settling" for someone who treats you bad, though it does mean understanding that the world, and people (including yourself) within it, are not perfect, and all have trials no matter how much they hide them (though some love to exaggerate their trials rather than play them down). It means giving to get, and letting go of unrealistic expectations. Lots of people can't do this, so they seek out "twin flames" (which from what I gather is definitely a "beware what you wish for and/or trying too hard to see something that isn't there" course of action). They have many excellent relationships, but at the first snag or two they bail, thinking it must not be "meant to be." I don't know if you do that, but plenty do.

Plenty also look down upon or even dismiss love that isn't passionate and sexual (like for family, friends, pets, community, which may be a disdain for it, or making it such a low priority that they'll sacrifice and treat these other manifestations of love as crap for the One True Pairing they believe they have this month), and it's no surprise to me that they're usually unhappy and alienated as a result (and given their desperation to fill the void they create in themselves through this way of thinking, they typically make one desperate choice after another so that even their passionate loves are a source of misery).

Generally speaking, I think the strongest charts, be they natal or synastry, are those that had to overcome some adversity. But the key word is "overcome." It can't be bought on ebay, it has to be earned. Not everyone has it in them to earn it (or have the misfortune to fall too hard so that they give up or just die), but those that do will have a stronger chart for it than those who have relatively "easy" natal and synastry charts. That is to say, someone with a good chart has it easier, but someone who rises to face the challenges of their chart will, after a time, have something stronger and more enduring.

posted September 22, 2016 02:01 PM            

The best relationship I had (very,very sweet) had as the strongest aspect SATURN-VENUS CONJUNCTION AND I WAS VENUS and SATURN SQUARE MERCURY!! Like WTF the best part was our conversations!

posted September 23, 2016 08:52 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
Polyamory ( more ).

Okay, you don't want that. Then you'll have to compromise and/or find additional ways to get what you want rather than putting your eggs in the One True Pairing vision (so you have your partner, and also friends, volunteer work, pets, anything meaningful, etc). Plenty of relationships work with lots of compromise (plenty also fail that seem so easy, too).

Compromise doesn't mean "settling" for someone who treats you bad, though it does mean understanding that the world, and people (including yourself) within it, are not perfect, and all have trials no matter how much they hide them (though some love to exaggerate their trials rather than play them down). It means giving to get, and letting go of unrealistic expectations. Lots of people can't do this, so they seek out "twin flames" (which from what I gather is definitely a "beware what you wish for and/or trying too hard to see something that isn't there" course of action). They have many excellent relationships, but at the first snag or two they bail, thinking it must not be "meant to be." I don't know if you do that, but plenty do.

Plenty also look down upon or even dismiss love that isn't passionate and sexual (like for family, friends, pets, community, which may be a disdain for it, or making it such a low priority that they'll sacrifice and treat these other manifestations of love as crap for the One True Pairing they believe they have this month), and it's no surprise to me that they're usually unhappy and alienated as a result (and given their desperation to fill the void they create in themselves through this way of thinking, they typically make one desperate choice after another so that even their passionate loves are a source of misery).

Generally speaking, I think the strongest charts, be they natal or synastry, are those that had to overcome some adversity. But the key word is "overcome." It can't be bought on ebay, it has to be earned. Not everyone has it in them to earn it (or have the misfortune to fall too hard so that they give up or just die), but those that do will have a stronger chart for it than those who have relatively "easy" natal and synastry charts. That is to say, someone with a good chart has it easier, but someone who rises to face the challenges of their chart will, after a time, have something stronger and more enduring.

Briefly sharing of my own experience, I did work within a difficult synastry. I lived up to my compromises and the relationship was beautiful and not at all taken for granted, but then I found out my partner had not, and it was the one incredibly bad breakup that took me years to fully overcome. It was bad enough that I took the obstacles more seriously, and so it was lucky that I got into a fling pretty sure it would be brief, but it became something more enduring. I then found out my partner had multiple placements that would've had me running to the hills had I known, but as it was I thought about the traits of both charts and how to make it so that we can go get enough of what we need, and it has worked out beautifully for the most part (not to say it's all smooth sailing, plenty of bumps and contrary winds come along, but I'm braced for them), so I know they can work.

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I appreciate your thoughtful response and it resonates with me so much. I've always sort of felt like I've put too much emphasis on my personal relationships to feel complete (or perhaps I become obsessed - Venus sq. Pluto!) but this isn't reasonable. I feel like one of my life lessons is to accept other relationships (like you mentioned) to sort of "get the feelings" that I might be missing from one person alone.

posted September 23, 2016 08:33 PM            

My placements are such that anything touching my ASC is squaring my Saturn.

Also, neptune in my partner's charts is either in Scorpio squaring my Mercury (bad) or in Sag squaring my Venus or Mars. After having been in a marriage where there was much betrayal, and he squared my Mercury with his Neptune, I felt pretty worried. But, I have no choice. I believe the placements we are born with are there to help us learn what we need to learn, whether its through ease and gifts, or challenges. And so, I decided that these challenges in synastry must be there to help me learn certain lessons.

posted September 24, 2016 04:04 PM            

All right, I've given up on trying to post the meme, so just picture William Shatner in his Star Fleet Reds saying...

"I don't believe in no win scenarios"

Here's my challenges:

1)Mars square Saturn with a 82° angle. Personally, I don't usually buy into anything wider than a 5° orb. But if you sit on the wrong side of Mars, you tighten that orb up, and get closer to Nessus to boot. Sit on the other side and your touching Agol... Much safer to trine Mars, and Saturn too as you'll see coming up...

Edit: There was a lady... She put her Mars on the wrong side conjunct my Mars. But her Venus was square both of our Mars. Oh, the sex... Like I was a man half my age! But that also meant Mars conjunct (widely) Mars, Nessus, Mercury, Vertex, square Saturn, Uranus, and (widely) Pluto. We couldn't stay in bed *all* the time... *sigh*

2) Mercury as the focus on a T square with Saturn opp Uranus and Pluto, on the Vertex, as sun sign ruler and final depositor. And in the 8th. Simply put, Ms. Theoretical simply *must* aspect my Mercury. Your not going to relate well to me if you don't. There's too much juice focused on it. The most likely place is to put a nice sympathetic planet (like Venus, Jupiter, or Moon) on that point of fated attraction, the antivertex in Sag. My ex put Venus there. Hello Venus, welcome to Venus square Saturn Venus square Uranus, venus square Pluto. Sound fun? Well she was starting with Venus as a T-square with moon opposite Chiron. So I think she was used to the stress. Still, while moon (widely) conjunct Pluto Uranus was interesting, I don't recommend Chiron conjunct Saturn...

3) Moon in Leo (*swoosh*) as the focus of a T square from Neptune opposite Jupiter. I'm not going to talk too much about this one on line. But who doesn't want (and by want I mean need) that moon connection? The aforementioned ex also put her Saturn opp my moon for the Moon opp Saturn DW. I've found the the moon trine from Sag is easier to handle, even if it isn't as good of "glue". And if it's a little early, it can still double in completing the Mercury grand cross.

Edit: in another case, I had moon conjunct her sun. Wow! That was great. And... Moon opposite Moon. That wasn't so great. Her Moon completed the cross, and I resolved her sun opp Moon. But we took turns feeling emotionally fulfilled and.. well, not.

4) Venus... In a grand trine with the Asc and Saturn (Yay)! Right? What could be better? Conjunct the NN? Yes! Only... Your a guy and the girl puts her Mars in Cancer smack on top of your Venus and NN... And the next thing you know, she's turned into a Klingon! Really?!?... I'm a Gemini! Not cool! Or... She puts something like her sun or her Saturn opposite, on your Ceres, conjunct your SN opposite your Venus. Starts out kind of cozy, but then cozy turns to stale... *sigh*

Edit in Saturn conjunct SN, I ended up living my life obsessed for her, waiting for her, until the day she moved on. The SN turns my trine into a kite, you see. With the Sun conjunct SN girl, I was afraid I would turn into living my life in her shadow, so pushed her away. That one makes me sad. She was a sweet girl. We still talk on FB 30+ years later.

Additional Edit: my favorite for her Mars is sextile my sun, from Leo. Set it a little early and it's Mars conjunct my moon too. Sparks!

5) The Sun! Everyone needs an aspect to the Sun, right? I dated a lady who had a Venus Mars conjunction with a 1 1/2° orb and the midpoint was smack dab exactly conjunct my sun! Wow! Except... My sun is square Chiron with a 4° orb... Oh come on now! And my Chiron return was approaching! Arrgh! Enough!

posted September 24, 2016 08:11 PM            

quote:

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Some people are fortunate enough to have charts that lend themselves to having multiple nice aspects fall into place...but what if you're not so lucky?

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There's still hope in the composite charts.

They can turn out orderly, with lots of nice aspects, even when both people have "messy" charts.

posted September 24, 2016 09:43 PM            

If you're curious....

posted September 24, 2016 10:31 PM            

I remember your data from the SR chart.