posted December 04, 2016 10:16 AM            

beginning:

so my year kinda started last november with the saturn-neptune square with neptune exactly conjunct my natal saturn

it was hard, i started slipping into depression and i thought i hit rock bottom but turns out there was a sub basement and i found it at the end of jan/beginning of feb. my stockholm syndrome shattered and all the PTSD came out, my mind just broke and i was a marathon runner from all my problem and just everything so long but i guess even marathon runners get tired. cue about 2 months of holding myself together during the day and at night fetal position on the shower floor sobbing till my whole body ached and i was dehydrated.

during that time as well, i was frivolous with money and drink and cigarettes to try and treat the pain and guilt and just everything. i decided to get into therapy when i started covering the mirrors because i was scared i'd see the devil if i saw myself.

in march i started looking for a therapist and i started early april. it was the best decision i've ever made in my life, i reckon ill still be in therapy for the whole of 2017 and i look forward to it. worth it. but the healing i was able to get with it with EDMR and all the techniques to work through past trauma has been amazing.

i actually feel authentic.

summer:

didn't do as well with uni as i would have liked to but considering ^ i'm not beating myself up about it. the depression by now nearly gone though it had it's moments once or twice. i moved in with a flatmate which is something old me would've never been able to do because of how little she trusted anyone, i got a job, started going out. jupiter is transiting my 5th house so i've been painting and dancing and feeling like singing and just trying to express myself in more different ways that i use to do as a kid but .. well it was beaten out of me.

i read that jupiter has been getting 'cockblocked' by saturn so it's effects in virgo hasn't been that great, and i agree. it's a degree away from enter my 6th house and i've been feeling that already.

but even with the muted effects of jupiter in the 5th and saturn transiting my 7th house i met someone who is so far a great match for me. i say so far because it's still early days. i can't help but be romantic about it but they say the 5th house is the house of 'true love' so we'll see how it goes. and saturn transiting the 7th house can being either a break up or it can being a long serious relationship. its looking like these two are coming true.

fall/winter:

i got myself a steadier side hustle tutoring which is a bit on and off and i'm hoping jupiter in my 6th will help me out with that. my studies are going fine, i finally travelled out my country! and i will be doing the same for xmas this year. i'm still in therapy and i'm making progress. i tried out a martial art that i want to continue when i can and i started at the gym in november though my health has been keeping me away from it unfortunately.

there was 9th house troubles in september
money troubles in october but they worked out okay i guess

in november health problems started up and there was a cancer scare. now theres a thing about possible surgery i may have to get.
i have an exam coming up soon that i should be studying for but i'm finding it hard to focus because of how on and off sick i've been the whole of november. i'm exhausted health wise.

emotionally and mentally - fall has been rough since most of the issues that cropped up were linked to old old old stuff that i thought id be done with. so much bad information given by other people causing problems and it wasn't even during a merc retrograde!

but generally fall/winter tends to be hard on me emotionally and mentally. i basically go back into mourning but now i'm handling it a bit better.

i hope my exam will go well, i've been working really hard and my mind has been clearer than ever.
i'm looking forward to holidays but i'm nervous as well.. with my background chistmas as never been easy and last xmas i sat in my room drunk off my face sobbing.

overall:

that saturn square neptune ruled my life since it started. and during the breaks it was jupiter and mars for sure.
another key player was definately chiron in my 5th house and i reckon with jupiter expanding anything it touches it may have had an play on why i fell so fast.

other things - i had a small group of friends but as time went on during the year they started disappearing, i hope it's just saturn thats cutting out ******** , but a few that stuck on i'm happy they did.

posted December 04, 2016 03:33 PM            

Saturn transits are indeed testing.And even before it has hit my Sun,I feel like
my pessimism has hit an all time high.

Saturn sorta "compressed" my faith in humanity as headlines,videos and Facebook /twitter comments of cruel racial hate speech started to surface in this country.

It is weird because its not like they are happening for the 1st time. But I must say that reaction to them hurts like hell.

I try to look away from all that but sometimes I am angered as it is clear that it hasn't really sunk in to many people just how deeply hurtful such divisions can be on the collective conscious level.Especially when trying to work towards peace and reconciliation.

I get so emotional about it and it seems there is little I can do to change it besides soothing myself down from it with books and music..

From a more personal front, I noted that Moon had progressed to Libra around the time that I decided to part ways with my job(June 2016).

I felt like I just couldn't take how bored I was anymore.It was just killing the heck out of me

Besides that,nothing of note.Jupiter entered Libra quietly with no real substantive thing to speak of really.

Transiting Mars in Sag was interesting and dramatic lol. It also worked on my nerves for a while until the relief came when it moved to Cap.And then nothing much happened.

Sun transit in Sag started with an interview which was very testing and revealed more of my own intentions than anything else.

That's it for now

posted December 04, 2016 03:39 PM            

I suffered through depression and anxiety this year, not to mention severe anger problems I held inside because I didn't want to hurt someone unintentionally. I was emotionally broken and I felt horrible all in all. I lost my faith in humanity a long time ago honestly; it cannot be regained.

posted December 04, 2016 05:07 PM            

What you said about discovering your 'intentions'? That's soooo cool. So cool to get and be Clear on something. Having it get Clarified. I bet it adds more pulp to your auric emanations to have that kind of discovery...

Sarah! jan {{{{{HUG}}}}} Good for you. Sooo Brave. I know what that feels like... to be left in a heap on the floor like that. And crying??? omg. Cry cry cry.... It's GOOD for you sweetheart. Cry. Cry it ALLLL out. Don't leave ANY tears uncried... or their salt can cake and leave corrosion in your life.

Keep on working hard. Work very very hard... You are actually 'fighting' for the Quality of your future life right now... Fight until you can't fight anymore... rest.. then get back up and FIGHT some more. Don't wait until you're too old.

You NEED to heal now, so that you can have Best Outcomes at end of your life. You'll even be more economically prosperous later on, because of working on yourself now, thoroughly.

Abuse, unprocessed, is one of the worst toxic poisons and deadly contaminants that a Human Being can have inside them while they walk the earth in a birthday suit. --- It's a silent killer. It can kill every dream and undermine every future possibility you'd ever hold for a better life for yourself-- and your children's lives, as/or if they happen for you. .....

... And when you are finally healed, be an Encouragement to another human-sister (or a brother).

... Life. It's is just TOO Hard without anyone 'being there' for you. Along the way, with God's mercy, you can be there for someone else.... because that's one of the definitions of being awakened. You have compassion for others 'because' you 'know' what that's like for them...

heh. .... Myself right now? Sag rising, Libra early MC. (intercepted H9/3 Virgo/Pisces). Early Gemini.
I'm hurting in my soul... sorta massively.
Not ready to write about it yet.
Maybe for week before NewYear... if I've still got internet then.

Go Sarah. ... Go Aries23Degrees...
I hope the Universe (God) will bring you real, and GOOD, results and rewards from what you're both going through.

Aries23... I think you are one of the BEST astrologers here at LL. I've seen some of your work... you have a great potential in it, should you pursue this. If not-- I Believe you will succeed in whatever your mission in life.

Blessings... Shine! Be True to yourself, then share 'who' you are by JUST Being it. You'll Make A Difference...

(music) True Colors (Cyndi Lauper, lyrics) [4:07] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFiz-j66X74

BTW...

LIFE, is more Real, than what you see in those graphs. It's not the paper, it's not the tech screen.. It's about the Person.

posted December 04, 2016 05:31 PM            

Some day....... *harp riffs*

You'll be doing stuff like Sting. You wait and see! Hang in there. There ARE some Good Humans in This World-- and that's you, and people here (including me, *grin* omg, LOL).

Here's my crystal ball video for you. DREAM It, and something like it CAN Be Yours.

Most importantly, don't lose faith in you...

posted December 04, 2016 09:24 PM            

Jupiter conjunct Sun. My fave activity this year was driving for hours along the coast and through the mountains, alone to my thoughts. The world is my oyster, but what do I want from life?

Mars in Scorpio for several months, I didn't contain my anger this year like I normally do.

Saturn squaring Sun, conflicts with everyone. My level of tolerance has diminished.

Saturn square Neptune, disillusionment. I learn most about myself through other people. From their reactions this year, people are starting to see the person behind the mask.