posted February 01, 2017 06:49 PM            

those of us, hell most of us, who went through a dodgy childhood will get older and enter romantic relationships where we repeat patterns

It is a romantic house

think of attachment theory - secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganised..

maybe this can be seen in the chart!

romantic relationships or even intimate relationships can bring out the most vulnerable parts of you and that starts at home. actually -not 'can' it sure as hell does. wait till the honeymoon period ends and boom there it is!

so instead of looking at the 5th, 7th, 8th house look at the 4th!

if the 4th house synastry aspects is messed up this person may really hurt you!

i know when i dated someone with an ascendant in libra the sign of my IC i was repeating patterns like you wouldn't believe. It was comfortable but like i ran away from home i ran away from him

guys i dated with harsh aspects to planets in my 4th house and IC ended up ******* with my head and had me in therapy and it always went back to do with family of origin issue we haven't faced!

and now i'm dating a guy with a lot of planets in my 4th house and mine in his and if we make it through this patch it literally hangs on us individually deciding to go through our 4th house hell and working through it.

frankly i'm not scared of anything 8th house i'm scared of the 4th house! that holds the origin of everything that i'm scared of anyways!

resolving our 4th house issues is key! remember that whats in your 10th house is opposing your 4th house! so there are clues there too!

thats just my 2 cents.
to me the 8th house is like what i think most consider the 6th house to be like - mundane. people die, taxes due... life continues on..

posted February 02, 2017 05:56 AM            

I personally never look at the 5th house as anything romantic. it's mostly about fun, cute or self-elevating expressions of liking or crushing on someone. 8th house, more about whom you trust with your life, and who you may fall weak before/whom you obey without question, and overall people who have some sort of power (for your good or bad) over you.

personally for me real romance is the 7th house. sometimes it turns into hatred on their part and they become my enemy, but most of the time I find it so easy to fall for people who have planets (personal + jupiter, not so sure about saturn, neptune, uranus and pluto) or the north node in my 7th.

but I agree, aspects to your 4th cusp and its ruler or the planets in it overall is very important in synastry.

posted February 02, 2017 08:27 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquagembaby:
Possibly it can shed light on how well you can settle down or start a family, and become comfortable w/ another person, which is definitely related to relationships, yes.

It seems more relevant to synastry though? How can we see how one will act in relationships when looking at the natal? For example, if someone has Venus in 4H, or a love asteroid in the 4H, do these things mean something? Does Venus in 4H make someone attached and fixated on the past maybe?

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I think in some cases, for an immature or troubled 4th house stellium person, they can be way overinvolved with their family of origin, to the detriment of exploring their hopes and dreams, growing emotionally or intellectually, finding freedom and chatting their own course. These are people you'll find living with their parents in their thirties (not to support the parent or help them through an illness or something....and not just after a crisis hit, a health problem or a divorce.....but just, long term, over years, because they've never created their own life/career/home/chosen family)....and people who you'll hear saying "My dad wants me to...." when they're thirty-five, not in the sense of collecting advice from their parents alongside advice from friends, lover or partner, mentors and their own intuition, but because they deeply believe that it's right for their parents to make their decisions for them.

The mature/evolved version of a 4th house stellium creates a family (which can be inclusive in a healthy way with his/her family of origin too, taking a leadership or caretaker role) and strongly nurtures this family/home base.

I think it's as much about the natal as the synastry--if the 4th house is at odds with something else in the chart, it affects ALL the native's relationships.

For example: my ex's 4h Taurus Venus at odds with his 12h Sag Moon....he's clunkily, unquestioningly rooted in his family of origin. His only solution to any problem is his parents. He hasn't explored other ways of thinking or living, BUT his Moon gives him a strong desire to wander and adventure and explore and escape....so he compartmentalizes anything he does/experiences away from his family, lies about it, hides it and doesn't acknowledge it as part of his real life. He honors his parents unquestioningly, but also takes it absolutely for granted and as a given that he can't share his deepest emotional self with them and that it's right to hide it and lie about it.

In my case, 4h Aries Chiron is squared 7h Cancer Venus, and also at odds with the rest of my 7h Cancer (Saturn, Moon)....,so my natural and deep desire to nurture and partner and be part of a loving couple is at odds with a forceful, aggressive, sometimes rageful wounding and drive to heal my family of origin issues...with the Chiron also opposite Uranus, there's an intense conflict between this and my lifepath.

posted February 02, 2017 03:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
Actually one of the first houses I look at is the 2nd house. If the values clash, then no amount of romance and attraction can keep the relationship alive in the long run.

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posted February 02, 2017 04:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ceridwen:
No, what you value is 2nd house (along with your feelings of Self-value or lack thereof and actually also how you feel inside your body).

9th house is about showing your life philosophy.

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posted February 02, 2017 04:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lucia23:

I think in some cases, for an immature or troubled 4th house stellium person, they can be way overinvolved with their family of origin, to the detriment of exploring their hopes and dreams, growing emotionally or intellectually, finding freedom and chatting their own course. These are people you'll find living with their parents in their thirties (not to support the parent or help them through an illness or something....and not just after a crisis hit, a health problem or a divorce.....but just, long term, over years, because they've never created their own life/career/home/chosen family)....and people who you'll hear saying "My dad wants me to...." when they're thirty-five, not in the sense of collecting advice from their parents alongside advice from friends, lover or partner, mentors and their own intuition, but because they deeply believe that it's right for their parents to make their decisions for them.

The mature/evolved version of a 4th house stellium creates a family (which can be inclusive in a healthy way with his/her family of origin too, taking a leadership or caretaker role) and strongly nurtures this family/home base.

I think it's as much about the natal as the synastry--if the 4th house is at odds with something else in the chart, it affects ALL the native's relationships.

For example: my ex's 4h Taurus Venus at odds with his 12h Sag Moon....he's clunkily, unquestioningly rooted in his family of origin. His only solution to any problem is his parents. He hasn't explored other ways of thinking or living, BUT his Moon gives him a strong desire to wander and adventure and explore and escape....so he compartmentalizes anything he does/experiences away from his family, lies about it, hides it and doesn't acknowledge it as part of his real life. He honors his parents unquestioningly, but also takes it absolutely for granted and as a given that he can't share his deepest emotional self with them and that it's right to hide it and lie about it.

In my case, 4h Aries Chiron is squared 7h Cancer Venus, and also at odds with the rest of my 7h Cancer (Saturn, Moon)....,so my natural and deep desire to nurture and partner and be part of a loving couple is at odds with a forceful, aggressive, sometimes rageful wounding and drive to heal my family of origin issues...with the Chiron also opposite Uranus, there's an intense conflict between this and my lifepath.

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Hmm interesting. I definitely agree the family related problems created by the 4H does affect your relationships. Though this seems hard to interpret strictly from just chart reading and takes knowledge of the person's family history and what not.

posted February 04, 2017 02:21 PM            

The 4th house doesn't function all on its own. Planets conjunct it usually aspect the Asc/Dsc in some cases. And always oppose the MC

In many ways the planets conjunct the 4th house cusp(especially), become ingrained in our personality-together with Asc expression

If you have Moon conjunct the IC/ oppose the MC, your Home life/career will change a lot.

This is because when young,you got accustomed to your environment constantly changing and going through many ups and downs.

So when you are older, this extends to your sense of security(IC) i.e so you need things to be dynamic,changing constantly in order for them to feel familiar to you

Now if the planet aspects the Asc/Dsc,when it comes to the expression(what we can't help but express about ourselves),one can appear easily nervous/tense or anxious.

This may be that they are always unconsciously anticipating changes /fluctuations in every environment they are in.

So they are extra sensitive/vigilant to external stimulus and appear to access their emotional nature very quickly.

Not only does this underpin their responses, but it also makes someone with similar qualities(Moon square Dsc) attracting or attractive- because they look familiar to them.

Now in this instant,the Moon/Ic connection will be important in relationships too.

But if someone has Saturn conjunct the Ic and Uranus in the 7th conjunct Dsc axis,this dynamic may have them want to distance themselves from one or the other(because of the likely square relationship between the
two)

So the individual may either choose a strongly Uranus partner as a statement to rebel against the conforming conditions they grew up under(Saturn on the IC).

In actual fact, the attraction may be based on how "new" the Uranus person makes them feel-as opposed to the rigid/old person they feel they have grown up to be(Saturn on the Ic)

The other scenario could be that the person may feel like they always attract irresponsible people(Uranus)to them and are left to clean up the mess when things don't work out(Saturn on the IC).

The 4th house is also a relationship house because it is that part of us which is so familiar.

posted February 06, 2017 09:12 PM            

I f my partner doesn't feel 'safe' to me, we will never work out. I need him to feel comfortable and somewhat familiar so I can open up to him and be truly a part of the relationship.

I honestly value the 4th house above any other house in my personal synastry. The best relationship I ever had was with a man who had his Moon and Venus in my 4th house. Other houses are secondary to me.