posted March 31, 2017 01:14 PM            

I had a relationship where i feel like i need revenge on an ex of mines for screwing me over. Ever since i was a little kid, my parents always saw me with athletic ability, but i never played a sport in my life. I was always interested in the military and anything involving firearms. I am currently planning to join the military (still deciding on whether to enlist or join as an officer).

I have this complexity of wanting dominance and power over others, and it has been consuming my mind throughout my life. If there was a moment where i felt weak, ill end up angry and depressed. It is only if im trying to accomplish something (science project, business plan) is when i feel successful. I cant stand the thought of being weak, id rather die than be weak honestly. Ive gotten myself into fights/arguments at school with teachers and people and i still feel like i need to do double the pain to others to "win".

I have been told pluto or chiron aspects cause this.

What can you say about these pluto aspects?

Mars in pisces 7th square pluto in sagittarius (tight)
Virgo Ascendant Square pluto
Gemini MC opposite pluto
Moon cancer inconjunct pluto
I have 2 yod aspects

Also jupiter in aries 8th if it counts?

posted March 31, 2017 02:18 PM            

I know that every time I feel similarly (and it has been often), it's because my life is not going the way I want, I feel weak, I suppress it, I turn it outwards.
But when my life is 'rich' enough, the desire for power and revenge vanishes, because others can never take a significant enough portion of my happiness if it's cultivated strongly.

My placements are:
Scorpio NN in 4th
Scorpio Pluto in 4th conjunct Jupiter square Mars
Mars opposite Saturn in Pisces
Moon in Aries inconjunct Pluto and inconjunct Chiron, in a yod
Lilith square Mars opposite Pluto
Scorpio Venus trine Pisces Saturn in 7th

posted March 31, 2017 02:35 PM            

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Chart?

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posted March 31, 2017 02:49 PM            

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Originally posted by Selenite:
Consider that your need for revenge and power over others is a reflection of your own suppressed feelings of weakness, of 'not having enough.'. Since you despise weakness, you probably repress your feelings instead of dealing with them, and then nothing gets solved, and you turn the hate outwards and try to control others when controlling yourself is the answer (And controlling does not mean suppressing).

I know that every time I feel similarly (and it has been often), it's because my life is not going the way I want, I feel weak, I suppress it, I turn it outwards.
But when my life is 'rich' enough, the desire for power and revenge vanishes, because others can never take a significant enough portion of my happiness if it's cultivated strongly.

My placements are:
Scorpio NN in 4th
Scorpio Pluto in 4th conjunct Jupiter square Mars
Mars opposite Saturn in Pisces
Moon in Aries inconjunct Pluto and inconjunct Chiron, in a yod
Lilith square Mars opposite Pluto
Scorpio Venus trine Pisces Saturn in 7th

So yeah, pretty similar stuff

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Its been a hassle honestly. For months ever since the break up, ive gotten in trouble for my outbursts of anger of not getting things my way. My ex herself was a manipulative lying ***** . I have been so down these months i tend to be more quiet rather than social and out going. I have been bullied in freshman, until i got ****** off and got myself into muliple fights.

Ive been emotionally unstable since then. Ive had this consistent sense of wanting to dominate, no matter the cost. Ibe had moments in my life where people just think i have psychopathic tendencies.

posted March 31, 2017 03:39 PM            

You've described the challenge of these aggressive energies very well. Having this awareness early in life is good. Otherwise it can ruin your relationships and you'll make others miserable.

The only cure is to practice Forgiveness proactively. The "I Forgive You" thought or prayer should be a constant until you have mastered it and the emotions it treats. The problem with waiting until someone 'hurts' you to forgive them is that your vengeful tendencies can convince you that they don't deserve forgiveness, that you are right to loathe them. That misses the point that you are doing this to yourself as the primary recipient of your aggression and resentment, and that practicing Forgiveness daily releases you from such toxic motivations.

Have Forgiveness at the ready at all times.

Pray Forgiveness prayers.

Meditate on Forgiveness until it becomes part of your first emotional response.

You will only find a balanced true strength of depth once you do this.

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I was always interested in the military and anything involving firearms. I am currently planning to join the military (still deciding on whether to enlist or join as an officer).

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I would not recommend this at this time.

Instead, engage in martial arts training in submission to the wisdom of a martial arts master. Learn personal discipline over your own energies before entering any military institution that thrives on such aggressive energies as you have described within yourself. If you enter the military in your current state of growth it is very likely you will complicate your trouble with resentment and aggression with a dominance/punishment dynamic common to military training and hierarchy.

Train yourself. Take responsibility for your own emotions rather than providing them as fuel to a war machine. Do this training in as athletic and disciplined a manner as you can until the resentment and desires for dominance and revenge are gone or at least kept very well controlled.

The military might give you attractive ways to channel such aggressive Martial energies, but such a career anytime soon is almost certainly unhealthy for you. Internal discipline and accountability for your own motivations and emotions through personal growth is a higher priority and more rewarding.

posted March 31, 2017 03:46 PM            

With that introduction I reach my first point – what your experiencing now will mellow with time and it will keep mellowing. All the pain and viciousness which now seem like they’re taking over will fade both with you growing biologically and psychologically so don’t get too hung up on how you are now because you will change before you know it.

Astrologically speaking I see you have water planets. These are emotional and sensitive placements. And let me say immediately – this does NOT mean weak. Not at all.

You experienced a painful event… And because you haven’t learned how to properly deal with traumatic experiences yet so you feel rage, indignation and a desire to punish and dominate. This is very understandable but it’s not “the right” way. And you know it.

You are repulsed by the idea of “being weak” because being vulnerable opens you up to pain and being a Cancer Moon and Mars/Pluto pain for you excruciating especially at such a highly reactionary age. The problem is that acting out on the rage and darkness (which are not “you” but are just waste products from your wounds) will only poison you more and make you feel even worse because you can’t punish the outside world for something that’s within you. You strike back, you see that nothing within you has changed and the pain is still there which makes you angrier and you strike back harder and see nothing has changed still, now you’re even angrier and strike back even harder and on and on it goes.

As you gain new experiences you will understand that “being weak”- there’s no such thing really. It doesn’t exist. Everyone has strength and everyone has vulnerability. There is only fear and fear can make people do and believe things which aren’t in their best interest. Being “always strong” and “always dominant” is actually repulsive to most people and attracts negative reactions and hostility. It’s actually being vulnerable and awkward that creates warmth in people and a desire to help and nurture. When you are in a “weak” state 99% of people will NOT strike you down, on the contrary – they will reach out and help. So there is no real reason to be afraid of being “weak”, every other emotion or argument you have against this is just an excuse to keep latching onto the fear of vulnerability because you expect people will hurt you.

There is this very damaging idea that men aren’t supposed to have moments of weakness which is so heinous because ironically is does weaken them as people and keeps them in a perpetual state of misery, anger and darkness. Everyone experiences pain, and not learning how to deal with that pain makes you a broken weak person regardless of how much violence you release or how much you try to dominate reality.

Right now you need closure, you need validation of your painful experience and you need emotional release. For your current situation I suggest you find TWO people – one who you trust and who is empathetic, someone who you know will listen to you without judgment and who will offer you a nurturing embrace. To this person you should release your pain - no anger, no excuses. Spill out everything that’s being pent up and allow yourself to have a “catharsis”. Cry. There is no shame in that. It’s our body’s way of purification. You will feel so much lighter afterwards and you will see that that’s exactly the kind of release you WANTED and couldn’t achieve with anger.
The second person should be someone who you admire, someone you look up to preferably a man so you can see yourself in him. Have a conversation with him about your troubles or about whatever you’d like. Try to find ideals, behaviors and opinions in him that you’d like to aspire to and you in the same fashion try to build your own “honor” code about life from the things you see and learn in life. About doing good and being good – which is what true masculinity is. It will give you so much passion and so much happiness and fulfillment.

posted March 31, 2017 09:48 PM            

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So assuming i control these emotional urges and simply move on, its possible to join the military in a more healthy manner?

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Of course, but its not so much about controlling as channeling the Martial & Plutonian energies you will always have -- in a healthy way.

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But the only thing i just dont see right is forgiving someone at every instance. You have to be strong at times, and frankly when i feel depressed i feel weak, something ths tisjt acceptable in my standards.

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Forgivness and letting go of resentment is not weakness. It takes strength to rise above. You don't Forgive because 'they' earned it or deserve it. You do it to keep yourself and your own motivations clear.

posted March 31, 2017 10:14 PM            

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Originally posted by YD1922:

So assuming i control these emotional urges and simply move on, its possible to join the military in a more healthy manner? I have been planning for a long time to go in as an officer or enlist, and frankly its something ive been looking foward to. I always knew my anger has been keeping me depressed and down on things.

I am starting to go to the gym and im currently working out, trying to gain as much weight as possible so i can enlist in shape. But the only thing i just dont see right is forgiving someone at every instance. You have to be strong at times, and frankly when i feel depressed i feel weak, something ths tisjt acceptable in my standards.

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posted March 31, 2017 10:46 PM            

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Originally posted by Sulkyarcher:
I, myself, don't believe you have to forgive everyone and everything. You just have to find a way to deal with all this intensity and anger that you have!

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Honestly id hope its possible. Im trying my best to move on, but if that isnt enough ive already had problems with the authorities because of my ex who she herself is a backstabbing manipulative ***** .

All i have left is what i want to accomplish (military career) and the only thing in the way is i guess deal with "unfinished business". It has gotten that bad.

posted April 01, 2017 08:46 AM            

Here are instructions on how to add links and images to your posts: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/ubbcode.html

First transfer your image into a photobucket type account. Then you can use the url tags inside plain brackets like so: [url] insert image link here (minus the 's' in https) [/url]. It is better to link the image in this thread since the guidelines for Astrology 2.0 ask that we not post chart images directly into posts here.

posted April 08, 2017 03:49 AM            

Overall i feel insulted by her ******** . this applies in school all the time, whenever i see people somehow acting funny with me, i feel a need to defend myself, better yet go on an offensive in life. i could care less about them all. what really matters to me is getting respect and overall pushing with my goals.

posted April 08, 2017 11:07 AM            

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Originally posted by YD1922:
http://www.astro.com/cgi/showgif.cgi?lang=e&gif=astro_2gw_01_luis.26985.15122.gif&res =100

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YD... You might want to go back to "Personal Readings" (or read ABOVE-POSTS) where I supplied a link for you with instructions on "HOW" to post your chart.

Gently? ... Both Kannon and I have been trying to help you do that.

So, Please read the instructions, Okay?? *heart*

I think serving in the military is an honorable wish.

My FATHER served in the military for over 30 years. From what I observed every single day at dinnertime as he expressed his frustrations with bosses in the military--- It's not a "picnic" to have Bosses who are an actual Military Authority over you (especially when they are INCOMPETENT for the position they hold).

I was involved in Community Theatre groups for a while... and my dad's boss got a part in a play I was in. omg?????? Even the people on stage with him SAW what a wad he was!!

There are some TRUEASSholes IN the military who MIGHT be your "boss" some day, YD.

If you choose that Career, you would need to be able to swallow (or channel) your resentments when you need to "follow orders" or instructions you clearly wouldn't wish (in your opinion) to do.

I like what Kannon said about timing....

AND about going to learn Martial Arts for yourself.

Mixed-Martial Arts are EXTREME Sport, and sound fantastic.

I recently went to a Women's Self Defense Class, and it was taught BY a super super award winning Mixed Martial Arts Master.

Actually now... He works both for himself, AND the Police Department. He's an expert at safety in public buildings, and the planning with dealing with sudden terrorists in the setting, deescalating or neutralizing their effectiveness before they blow stuff up or kill people.

hmmm? ... That's an idea?

The Law Enforcement agencies. It wouldn't be 'as strict' but would allow you flexibility-- to be 'that presence' of being an Authority and helping people in situations stay in control?

Wishing you sooo much luck!

***AND!!!! to lovingly TEASE you here.***
Laughing WITH you and very proud of you,
and with GREAT Lovingness and Caring!!!?
Please READ the dam instructions!!! hahahahah

If you can't follow through with us helping you post a chart?, then you might think twice about the military??? {{{{{ }}}}}

awwww. We're just trying to 'Lovingly' Help you here.