posted May 03, 2017 07:28 AM            

I'd like to know if any of you fellow ones with Capricorn energy (or anyone having insight) have tips for creating a better self-esteem, and learning to love myself.

I have all personal planets, Uranus, and Neptune conjunct in Capricorn the 4th.

I'm in a relationship with a Cancer woman and we're deeply in love. There are some problems though, which seem to stem from my side mostly. Some of the stuff includes me feeling not worthy of her love and not feeling attractive enough (she is very good-looking). Also I seem to be judgemental of her behavior and find it sometimes hard to feel happy for her in situations where I am not involved. Also I tend to interpret situations in the "worst possbile ways". What I mean by this is basically, I interpret the situations and things said in the way, that is the most hurtful to me and threatening to our relationship. I also tend to "read between the lines" of her speech to make similiar bad interpretations.

After doing quite a bit of brutally honest self-evaluation, I have come to the decision that I have a low self-esteem. My self-esteem is not stable, it can be boosted temporarily, by noticing my good qualities, but usually I find myself in the same feelings of being not good enough.

posted May 03, 2017 09:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anonymidarkness:
For me, not comparing myself to others works, you can feel superior or inferior only when you compare yourself to others.

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posted May 03, 2017 09:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by 7ate9:
Hello people of LL!

I'd like to know if any of you fellow ones with Capricorn energy (or anyone having insight) have tips for creating a better self-esteem, and learning to love myself.

I have all personal planets, Uranus, and Neptune conjunct in Capricorn the 4th.

I'm in a relationship with a Cancer woman and we're deeply in love. There are some problems though, which seem to stem from my side mostly. Some of the stuff includes me feeling not worthy of her love and not feeling attractive enough (she is very good-looking). Also I seem to be judgemental of her behavior and find it sometimes hard to feel happy for her in situations where I am not involved. Also I tend to interpret situations in the "worst possbile ways". What I mean by this is basically, I interpret the situations and things said in the way, that is the most hurtful to me and threatening to our relationship. I also tend to "read between the lines" of her speech to make similiar bad interpretations.

After doing quite a bit of brutally honest self-evaluation, I have come to the decision that I have a low self-esteem. My self-esteem is not stable, it can be boosted temporarily, by noticing my good qualities, but usually I find myself in the same feelings of being not good enough.

So, you friendly folks of LL, I'm turning to you for help. How can I get a healthy self-esteem?

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Wow, this sounds a lot like a close friend of mine. He too is working on this as of recent.

First, I want to point out that the self reflection and reaching out for help, is to be admired.

posted May 03, 2017 09:59 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by llewsacm:
Wow, this sounds a lot like a close friend of mine. He too is working on this as of recent.

First, I want to point out that the self reflection and reaching out for help, is to be admired.

What other natal placements do you have?

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Thank you for your kind words. This is my chart.

posted May 03, 2017 10:06 AM            

1.) Over-thinking and analyzing everything. When you look between the lines, is something really there or are you just looking for reasons you're not good enough for the person you love?

2.) Giving meaning to things that aren't really being implied or looking between the line at things that aren't there. You can't decide for the other person if you're good enough for them. Doing this implies you know this information better than they do and you don't realistically have access to what anyone's thinking, thus you can't truly confirm what you believe without concrete evidence to support your claim. As a rule, if other people can't determine if your interpretation is right, you could be seeing things that just aren't there at all.

3.) However, poor self-esteem can be like a self-fulfilling prophecy: what you fear ends up happening, because you don't think you're good enough to have nice things or nice relationships, so you end up doing things that eventually ruin your relationships just to prove to yourself that you're right about not being good enough.

This is some food for thought. If you relate to any of this, you could make some changes to your behavior that would help you feel good enough to be with her.

Why do you think you're not good enough for her? Do you think you lack desirable qualities? If you think you're lacking in certain areas, maybe you can work on improving in them.

This post is all I can give you right now, because I'm basically in the same boat as you. I'm trying to consider how to improve my self-esteem as well, and sadly, nothing seems to budge it. My self-esteem sits right where it is and doesn't seem to ever improve.

posted May 03, 2017 02:44 PM            

Just knowing this is a self-esteem or self-worth issue at its core gets you halfway there.

There are no easy answers. It means changing thinking (and speaking) habits in reference to yourself. Affirmations may help, but if you turn around and go right back to the old thinking/speaking habits, then they are undermined.

The big shift in self-image comes in how you see yourself metaphysically. That is, if your self-image is based on what you see in the mirror then what you've got is vanity or inferiority, but not a healthy self-image. Image yourself as a soul, based on what is in your heart and mind. If you don't like what is there, change them.

It takes time, but once you get better at weeding fear out of your thoughts, you'll avoid reacting to those thoughts as if they are statements about yourself.

posted May 04, 2017 08:33 AM            

I have just one question to ask? How on earth are you dealing with the cardinal planet transits of Pluto,Uranus and Jupiter? Wow

I reckon this "soul searching" is further emphasized by Pluto in the 4th house

You have so much emphasis on the 4th house. And this could suggest that you live a lot in the realm of wanting to be connected and intimate with people.

But that Cap energy certainly throws a spanner in the works by making it difficult for you to open up and become vulnerable. Perhaps fearing rejection?

posted May 04, 2017 09:57 AM            

When you feel insecurity creeping in either go outside or talk to someone (not about your problems but about something mundane, ask them how they are) when that happens you "notice" reality again and it clicks how far-fetched your thoughts are.

If you feel like you can't bring yourself to socialize at that moment either distract yourself with a hobby or focus on some kind of task or your work. When your attention goes to something else that click also happens.

The goal is break your tunnel vision.

Communication with your gf is also important. Being vulnerable is scary but when you do it and you see that she responds with warmth and understanding that is a huge emotional and reality boost.