posted June 19, 2017 03:01 PM            

However, I seem to have convinced myself I'm going to die within the next few years, and I don't know how to process or deal with these thoughts. Here's why (natal chart below):

Saturn will be transiting my 8th house shortly (currently Saturn is conjunct my natal Neptune and will soon conjunct my Sun- fun times) and will be conjunct my natal Mercury in Capricorn (also my chart ruler). Also, within the next few years, transiting Pluto will be conjunct my SN (has been moving through my 8th for several years now). These transits are pretty frightening to me and all sorts of horrifying scenarios have been running through my mind, from going bankrupt / becoming poor, to losing my husband through separation or death, to my own death or the death of my child. Again, I'm pregnant so that likely plays into all of this...

Here's how / why I've convinced myself that I'm going to die: at the same time that transiting Pluto will be conjunct my SN, Pluto will be opposing my husband's Venus in Cancer (same degree). Also, I took a look at the chart for when my baby is due (August 12) and Venus will also be in Cancer, at the same degree as my husband (<3) (or close to it, depending on when I deliver). I've read that Pluto opposite Venus transits can be pretty brutal, up to and including the death of one's spouse, parent, or child.

Unfortunately, Pluto and Saturn have been really hammering me over the last 10-15 years- I was in an abusive marriage and got divorced when Pluto was transiting my 7th house. As Pluto was leaving my 7th, I got together with my current husband and we went through some really awful times- he was having issues with alcohol and inappropriate relationships and I was in really bad debt and was a complete mess. I gave him an ultimatum and got him into therapy and 12-step groups and he completely turned his life around; I got into therapy and went to 12-step groups as well (completely turned MY life around) and he has been sober since 2009. We were able to get our acts together and we are really happy together.

In 2011, I lost my grandfather who I was very close to. I also lost a lot of weight and struggled with my career. The worst time for me was when my cousin and best friend died suddenly (while cooling down from a long run) in 2012 at age 31. He was a pastor and had a wife and two little girls; he died the day after my wedding. I've had a really hard time getting over that, especially since a specific cause of death was never determined; his heart just stopped. Most recently, we've had to deal with the early death of my husband's father due to early-onset Alzheimer's- last October. It was somewhat unexpected due to how rapid his decline was last year.

Anyway, I'm really afraid of these transits and thought I would post this in the hopes that maybe someone might have a more positive interpretation or recommendation as to how to handle these extreme fears. Am I doomed? Is my family doomed? Is there hope???

posted June 19, 2017 03:59 PM            

I can see why you'd be paranoid about these transits giving your past experiences and I'm sure pregnancy hormones are not helping you out during this time either!! I think it's so easy for us to extra worry during pregnancy... It in itself is super stressful and so much to worry about!

However, astrology aside, I think it's better to keep positive mind for yourself and for your baby at this time. Saturn and Pluto transit can cause negative effect but there are always positive effects that come about also. And negative effect doesn't always mean "death" (although your life's experiences seem to show otherwise... ).

posted June 19, 2017 05:22 PM            

You have Merc out of bounds. And this Mercury is square to Mars. Mars can amplify the thinking process on things concerning survival vs. oblivion. Having one "do something" to avoid that outcome etc.

You also have Mars in out of sign square to your Sun. So this interaction can have someone act defensively because of an unconscious drive to protect themselves from the threat(Mars) to life(Sun)

Your Mars in the 5th suggests your baby is feeding off those unconscious fears of self oblivion and will come out a fighter or a child who learns survival skills very early on in life either in birth or in their foundation phase(you may give birth to a son/a daughter who is very spirited)

To illustrate this, I was born not breathing and was resuscitated minutes after birth. And in my infancy(post hospital) I was extremely sickly and frail. I had to fight to survive(natal Mars Asc opp from the 6th).

Mars to personal planet is threat. It makes the native vigilant to the frigility of life.

Your Moon/Jupiter conjunct in Scorpio can exacerbate feelings i.e when things are good, they are really good. When things are bad, they can turn towards feeling fatalistic.

Saturn/Pluto are contra parallel and so i wonder if the fear(Saturn) of death/endings(Pluto) is something you have always worried about?

You have Mercury in 8th too and so death is not too far from your mind. And with Moon in Scorpio, you have had to deal with issues of losing loved ones or having those secure relationships end.

Scorpios often go through loss/endings and death a lot in life(sometimes more often than the rest of us) and this can have them become weary and distrustful of the future,being vulnerable or in making emotional ties.

Your Mercury/Neptune midpoint=Sun. You are looking for divine rhyme and reason to your life's existence and with Jupiter in Scorpio, seeking counsel on your fears from someone who is sensitive to the subject of loss, could help alleviate many of your issues with death.

You also have Saturn/Uranus midpoint=Moon which can suggest fear of change and what it will do to your sense of security. Or fear accompanied by making emotional attachments/motherhood,emotional health and mortality.

Pluto/Node square suggests that you may have to confront themes of endings and loss time and time again in this life.

posted June 19, 2017 08:00 PM            

Deep breathing. Meditation. Less thinking.

Take care of you and the baby developing inside you by keeping a worry-free consciousness. If you do have a risk of dying, astrology offers no prevention or solution. Only staying calm and healthy does.

Losses of people close to you can be difficult. I have also had to deal with some similar events in my own family. After being hit by a car a few years ago I slipped into being more cautious than usual. I've had to face this, that I was playing it safe in unnecessary ways so that I could pull out of that mindset and let my energies loose again.

The astrological factors you mention are factors of life transformation. Dealing with such losses and fears is exactly what they challenge us with, finding our own empowerment rather than being affected by the fate of others.

Pluto [now 21S22] has already been parallel your S.Node [21S32] for a while. So you are experiencing the kinds of changes to your previous life connections and arrangements that is to be expected in such a process.

Pluto can help us face our mortality and objectively consider how we want to live our lives, how we want to be living when we die. That may not be very convenient for you now, but no one will be able to use astrology to prove you aren't dying and talk you out of this anxiety. You've got to do that yourself.

Meanwhile, probably not a good time for thinking about astrology. Deal with the fears directly and put them behind you. Make peace with your losses and that sometimes life does not seem fair. It is not easy to do, but your child does not want to enter the world to a mother wracked with anxiety and fear, right?

posted June 20, 2017 09:32 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by florence:
I'm no good on transits but I just wanted to say it's possible to get post-natal depression during pregnancy, antenatally in case you weren't aware (I wasn't) with the same symptoms such as extreme anxiety. It sounds like you could potentially be experiencing it - even if it's triggered by real-life and validly traumatic events.

---

I have been thinking about these extreme fears / anxieties being symptoms of antenatal depression. However, they seem to fluctuate- a lot of the time, I haven't been feeling extremely anxious or depressed. I think part of the problem is that I've been under a lot of stress during my pregnancy to begin with- we just moved to a new house (having lived in an apartment for 7 years and never owning property before) and that's been stressful, and I'm going to have to go back to work full time not too long after the baby is here so I have a lot weighing on my mind.

I had an astrologer tell me years ago that my baby is likely to have health problems and I would have to stay home to take care of him / her, and that has always stuck with me, especially now (knowing that my husband and I wouldn't be able to afford living expenses if we aren't both working).

Anyway, it's tough because I legitimately feel like if I didn't know anything about my chart or astrology at all right now, I wouldn't be worried. My doctors have all told me that I'm doing really well and my baby is in great health, so I have no reason to assume that things will go horribly wrong (aside from paranoia about astrology and some really awful things that have happened in my life in recent years)...

posted June 20, 2017 09:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Hey. 21 Dec here too

You have Merc out of bounds. And this Mercury is square to Mars. Mars can amplify the thinking process on things concerning survival vs. oblivion. Having one "do something" to avoid that outcome etc.

You also have Mars in out of sign square to your Sun. So this interaction can have someone act defensively because of an unconscious drive to protect themselves from the threat(Mars) to life(Sun)

---

Wow, that makes so much sense- I've never spent a lot of time on declinations but in many ways, they seem to be more relevant than just taking a look at aspects and transits. I really have been feeling like my life is in danger!

quote:

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Your Mars in the 5th suggests your baby is feeding off those unconscious fears of self oblivion and will come out a fighter or a child who learns survival skills very early on in life either in birth or in their foundation phase(you may give birth to a son/a daughter who is very spirited)

To illustrate this, I was born not breathing and was resuscitated minutes after birth. And in my infancy(post hospital) I was extremely sickly and frail. I had to fight to survive(natal Mars Asc opp from the 6th).

---

I've struggled throughout my pregnancy with guilt that my anxiety / fears are affecting my baby. Every time I go to my OBGYN checkups, however, I'm told that my health is great and that the baby is doing really well and I shouldn't expect there to be any issues. I'm sorry to read that you went through such a difficult time right after birth! I really hope that my baby doesn't have to go through such a traumatic experience.

quote:

---

Mars to personal planet is threat. It makes the native vigilant to the frigility of life.

Your Moon/Jupiter conjunct in Scorpio can exacerbate feelings i.e when things are good, they are really good. When things are bad, they can turn towards feeling fatalistic.

Saturn/Pluto are contra parallel and so i wonder if the fear(Saturn) of death/endings(Pluto) is something you have always worried about?

---

Unfortunately, it is something I have always worried about, for as long as I can remember. In the case of my cousin who passed away suddenly in 2012, I had always had the feeling that I would lose him and that my time with him was extremely limited, so his sudden, unexpected death was truly a manifestation of one of my worst fears.

quote:

---

You have Mercury in 8th too and so death is not too far from your mind. And with Moon in Scorpio, you have had to deal with issues of losing loved ones or having those secure relationships end.

Scorpios often go through loss/endings and death a lot in life(sometimes more often than the rest of us) and this can have them become weary and distrustful of the future,being vulnerable or in making emotional ties.

Your Mercury/Neptune midpoint=Sun. You are looking for divine rhyme and reason to your life's existence and with Jupiter in Scorpio, seeking counsel on your fears from someone who is sensitive to the subject of loss, could help alleviate many of your issues with death.

---

I have been seeing a therapist who specializes in hypnosis / EMDR, meditation, and processing trauma for several years now, and that has been really helpful for me. I feel like I have so little control over everything now, though, that it's hard to feel empowered (especially when a lot of this feels hormone-related).

quote:

---

You also have Saturn/Uranus midpoint=Moon which can suggest fear of change and what it will do to your sense of security. Or fear accompanied by making emotional attachments/motherhood,emotional health and mortality.

Pluto/Node square suggests that you may have to confront themes of endings and loss time and time again in this life.

---

Hopefully I'll get a little bit of a break?? Because honestly, I'm tired of my worst fears becoming a reality....

posted June 20, 2017 09:55 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
Optimism is a choice of how to see that extends beyond death.

Deep breathing. Meditation. Less thinking.

Take care of you and the baby developing inside you by keeping a worry-free consciousness. If you do have a risk of dying, astrology offers no prevention or solution. Only staying calm and healthy does.

Losses of people close to you can be difficult. I have also had to deal with some similar events in my own family. After being hit by a car a few years ago I slipped into being more cautious than usual. I've had to face this, that I was playing it safe in unnecessary ways so that I could pull out of that mindset and let my energies loose again.

The astrological factors you mention are factors of [b]life transformation. Dealing with such losses and fears is exactly what they challenge us with, finding our own empowerment rather than being affected by the fate of others.

Pluto [now 21S22] has already been parallel your S.Node [21S32] for a while. So you are experiencing the kinds of changes to your previous life connections and arrangements that is to be expected in such a process.

Pluto can help us face our mortality and objectively consider how we want to live our lives, how we want to be living when we die. That may not be very convenient for you now, but no one will be able to use astrology to prove you aren't dying and talk you out of this anxiety. You've got to do that yourself.

Meanwhile, probably not a good time for thinking about astrology. Deal with the fears directly and put them behind you. Make peace with your losses and that sometimes life does not seem fair. It is not easy to do, but your child does not want to enter the world to a mother wracked with anxiety and fear, right?[/b]

---

Thank you so much for this response- I found it to be very reassuring. More than anything, I don't want my anxiety to affect the baby and I feel guilty knowing that these fears could do her harm. My therapist has recommended guided meditation a number of times now, so I think incorporating some kind of regular meditation might help. It might be the only thing that can help me with my tendency to overthink things. Also, trusting my doctors and the universe might be a good idea, too. :P Aside from what people have told me about my chart in the past and how things can "go wrong," I have no reason to assume that things will go badly.

posted June 20, 2017 09:58 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by colorful butterfly:
Congratulations honey on your pregnancy!!!! Astrology aside, I think you are really having some flutuating hormones that is affecting you on a deeper level. I had dreams of death and weird feelings of dieing when I was pregnant too even though that is the most beautiful time in your life. I think the best thing to do is focus on your thoughts and do your best to think positive.

---

posted June 20, 2017 10:02 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YellowGerbera:
First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy! August is coming up so soon, I hope you and your baby are doing well!

I can see why you'd be paranoid about these transits giving your past experiences and I'm sure pregnancy hormones are not helping you out during this time either!! I think it's so easy for us to extra worry during pregnancy... It in itself is super stressful and so much to worry about!

However, astrology aside, I think it's better to keep positive mind for yourself and for your baby at this time. Saturn and Pluto transit can cause negative effect but there are always positive effects that come about also. And negative effect doesn't always mean "death" (although your life's experiences seem to show otherwise... ).

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and I will pray that both you and your baby will be just fine

---

posted June 20, 2017 11:46 AM            

First, congratulations!

Second, take a deep breath. Everything is going to be alright
At first glance this looks like the work of Saturn on your Neptune. And looks like it's starting to square Mars, which is the ruler of your 12th. Big psychological changes happening.

Also wanted to point out that giving birth FEELS like death. And in a way, it is. So you're not technically wrong. I had my first child last year so I can relate. During the 1st trimester, I had sooooo many dreams about violence, killing, and death. And no, I didn't give birth to a demon baby She is a sweet little angel. But that's how your body is interpreting this little alien invader. And then when you actually have the baby, it's a complete death/ transformation of your former life. I had no idea how much, and I think anyone with kids can say it completely changes them. Sounds cliche, but true.

posted June 20, 2017 01:47 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Nelys:
I have been thinking about these extreme fears / anxieties being symptoms of antenatal depression. However, they seem to fluctuate- a lot of the time, I haven't been feeling extremely anxious or depressed. I think part of the problem is that I've been under a lot of stress during my pregnancy to begin with- we just moved to a new house (having lived in an apartment for 7 years and never owning property before) and that's been stressful, and I'm going to have to go back to work full time not too long after the baby is here so I have a lot weighing on my mind.

I had an astrologer tell me years ago that my baby is likely to have health problems and I would have to stay home to take care of him / her, and that has always stuck with me, especially now (knowing that my husband and I wouldn't be able to afford living expenses if we aren't both working).

Anyway, it's tough because I legitimately feel like if I didn't know anything about my chart or astrology at all right now, I wouldn't be worried. My doctors have all told me that I'm doing really well and my baby is in great health, so I have no reason to assume that things will go horribly wrong (aside from paranoia about astrology and some really awful things that have happened in my life in recent years)...

---

I worried an awful lot about things like that but the great thing about babies is that they are an everyday miracle with a whole universe of their own. I don't know how else to put it except to say going with the flow and giving up control was all part of the process for me.

posted June 23, 2017 04:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bananaz:
Oh, man.

First, congratulations!

Second, take a deep breath. Everything is going to be alright
At first glance this looks like the work of Saturn on your Neptune. And looks like it's starting to square Mars, which is the ruler of your 12th. Big psychological changes happening.

Also wanted to point out that giving birth FEELS like death. And in a way, it is. So you're not technically wrong. I had my first child last year so I can relate. During the 1st trimester, I had sooooo many dreams about violence, killing, and death. And no, I didn't give birth to a demon baby She is a sweet little angel. But that's how your body is interpreting this little alien invader. And then when you actually have the baby, it's a complete death/ transformation of your former life. I had no idea how much, and I think anyone with kids can say it completely changes them. Sounds cliche, but true.

Your 8th house is going through a lot of activity, but I think in your case, it's highlighting birth and transformation. You also have Jupiter going through your 6th (lots of daily activity) then right over your moon (BIG emotions). And Pluto, reemphasizing the transformation. So breathe easy. This is all motherhood related stuff.

---

posted June 23, 2017 04:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by florence:
I worried an awful lot about things like that but the great thing about babies is that they are an everyday miracle with a whole universe of their own. I don't know how else to put it except to say going with the flow and giving up control was all part of the process for me.

Sending warm thoughts x

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posted June 23, 2017 05:27 PM            

I woke this morning with an over-active mind producing anxiety thinking about how the Saturn-Pluto conjunction in Capricorn is going to affect my life (my chart, my composite with my wife). Instead of letting my mind wander around in speculation land, I took a moment to take some deep breaths and co-created with the universe that I make the best use of that time period (window of opportunity) for me, my wife, and our life together. I do this verbally as a command, not a request.

I will do this again if I notice my mind drifting in that direction again. I'll keep doing it for as long as I have to.

Anyone can do that to ensure that they partner with the universe to make those astrological influences a proactively positive experience rather than a back-on-my-heels negative experience.

posted June 23, 2017 05:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Nelys:
Thank you for your response- it has been difficult to process these losses and it may just be the case that old feelings tend to "come up" when I'm feeling my most vulnerable. I keep wanting to call my cousin and talk to him about my life and my experiences right now, but then I remember that he is gone and it's hard to accept. At least my doctors have been telling me that I'm in good health and the baby is developing nicely (no issues so far), so hopefully everything will go smoothly.

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That's wonderful to hear about your baby, Nelys!!!