posted July 27, 2017 08:37 PM            

I have spent the last 45yr looking for a love that will never exist.

posted July 27, 2017 10:30 PM            

There is a partner for everyone who wants one. We sometimes miss opportunities, but there will always be more. The timing may not be to our liking, but persistence pays off.

I was nearly 40 when I found my wife, and our relationship became official during Venus-Rx! (March 2009)

Venus in t-square with Jupiter and Pluto has a bit of idealist tendency with Jupiter, and a bit of a tendency for attracting untenable situations with Pluto involved. Overall, drama and wide-ranging intense feelings of affection can be triggered easily.

I don't know what your experience has been like, but sometimes we can reach a point where we don't like the pattern and do something to change it on our end (internally or externally). That is a healthier response than 'giving up on love.'

posted July 28, 2017 12:05 AM            

Are there aspects to the Moon that may contribute?

Post your chart.

posted July 28, 2017 08:16 AM            

Thank you Kannon and Aries....here is a link to my chart. Do either of you know how to post the picture directly, instead of using the link to Photo bucket?

Nonetheless you both are right! I have been through my fair share of non-commited men using me or more accurately...letting them use me (my need to be loved was very extreme, yes Aries). I grew up and learned to change that PATTERN (externally & internally, thank you Kannon) . Once I started putting up boundaries it got better. When it didn't work out at least I didn't feel used.

Kannon, you are right about me looking for the ideal person....I have been actively trying to change that...

I look for someone with a good job, no kids (I don't have kids and it will be more balanced this way), not married (self explanatory), no drugs (duh), somewhat attractive to me, someone who will communicate, treat people nicely, believe in something spiritual ...I don't know what else to change...these are important things to me.

posted July 28, 2017 10:15 AM            

i.e. your Moon is practically unaspected. On this basis I would like to see you meet a man with a planet around 22 Capricorn and 22 Virgo, to really tie up a grand trine with that Moon and make it feel more involved. Of course if he had Venus loosely conjunct your Pluto, all the better.

With Pluto currently opposing your Mars, I understand that you're really feeling that sense of 'loss' and looking at past manipulations. If you can use this transit to try to heal those wounds, all the better. You don't want to attract another party to 'act them out' really, if you can help it!

On the plus side, Neptune will be coming up to trine your Mars pretty soon and Uranus will be forming an electric sextile to your Venus. That's your window :-) Just know that Pluto will always bring you to your knees before you are left with a clean slate to start from....

posted July 28, 2017 02:31 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by waxlobster:
Mmmm I think the difficulty here is that the closest ptolmeic aspect to your Moon is a 5 degree orb sextile to Mars.

i.e. your Moon is practically unaspected. On this basis I would like to see you meet a man with a planet around 22 Capricorn and 22 Virgo, to really tie up a grand trine with that Moon and make it feel more involved. Of course if he had Venus loosely conjunct your Pluto, all the better.

With Pluto currently opposing your Mars, I understand that you're really feeling that sense of 'loss' and looking at past manipulations. If you can use this transit to try to heal those wounds, all the better. You don't want to attract another party to 'act them out' really, if you can help it!

On the plus side, Neptune will be coming up to trine your Mars pretty soon and Uranus will be forming an electric sextile to your Venus. That's your window :-) Just know that Pluto will always bring you to your knees before you are left with a clean slate to start from....

New horizons are not far off ¢¾

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Wow Waxlobster, so much insight in this message!

- My moon being unaspected helps explain a lot. I know a Taurus moon is a strong moon but I have always felt like I just didn't know how to use it.
-I have always loved Capricorns and virgos...unfortunately I don't atract them due to my leo rising.
-Pluto opp my mars!!! I am terrible at reading transits...I thought women didn't feel their mars but now I understand why I am sooo sad and depressed.
-and lastly....neptune & Uranus....that there might be light at the end of this horrible ride makes me feel better, so much better!!!

posted July 28, 2017 07:11 PM            

Your Moon is not even close to being 'unaspected.'

In your birth chart Moon ~23 Taurus is in applying trine to Pluto 29 Virgo; is exactly parallel Sun [22N58], parallel Venus [23N49] and Mars [23N26]; is closely contra-parallel Jupiter [23N06]. So let's not kid ourselves that your chart somehow does not support love.

Quite the contrary, your chart shows an abundance of Lunar and Venusian aspects, some of which can indicate idealism and/or people-pleasing tendencies (Jupiter), willingness and eagerness (Mars, Sun).

The key is probably in taking a break from relationships long enough to get to know yourself well enough to know exactly what signal you are putting out that you can change. That may take longer than you'd like.

Strong parallels like these often tend to produce automatic behavior that goes uncontemplated. Conjunctions and parallels show how we are regardless how those around us are or what was modeled for us early in life.

I'd say it took me 2-3 years in the process when I realized I needed to send a different signal to the opposite sex. I did change my appearance by growing a goatee so I'd look like a man in my 30s instead of a 20-year-old. But more importantly, I used hypnosis and my spiritual life to change myself inside and started taking more risks and letting myself show a bit more. There were a few misses, but it comes down to I deserve this and will only partner with someone who fully appreciates me as I am.

We're not talking change so that you will be acceptable. We're talking change so that you know you are acceptable as you are.

You may need to forgive yourself for what you think you did that was so bad.

You might benefit from some non-critical feedback from someone who knows you really well and can see your pattern more clearly than you can. My own pattern was easy -- I wasn't getting noticed and when I had my chances I wasn't following through -- no relationships at all.

So take however long it takes to change the pattern. That is far better than telling us you're being punished. That is not it. No one gets punished <by who?> so that it is impossible to have a healthy relationship. That's not how it works. Change the pattern and the results change. The pattern is always in self.

posted July 29, 2017 07:55 AM            

Pluto opposite Mars is a tough transit indeed and it will be going on for a few more months but by the end of the year it will be separating. All you can do with Pluto is allow it to show you the depths and deeper motivations you have within you.

Mars, in my opinion is as important in women as it is in men. It's your drive, your fire, your energy and your life force style. In an ideal world we learn, as individuals, to balance our masculine and feminine sides within ourselves. Gone are the days when defined roles for the sexes are necessary, and equally that imbalance caused by societal pressures is no longer relevant symbolically, or when assessing a chart.

Leo rising is a fantastic, dynamic sign to have! It may be that the grand trine creating man that I'm manifesting in my mind for you (haha) won't have his actual Sun in an earth sign, maybe a Venus in Virgo with Sun in Leo...

Anything's possible. You're going through a deep learning, your choices and ideas about what suits you may be different once Pluto has done his work. :-)

Take care x

posted July 29, 2017 08:35 AM            

-"idealism and/or people-pleasing tendencies"
EXACTLY ME.....I would do whatever to please the man wether he deserved it or not.....that was my downfall! I did learn to change it a year and a half ago....now that I think about it....it really hasn't been that long....I need to be more patient.

-"But more importantly, I used hypnosis and my spiritual life to change myself inside and started taking more risks and letting myself show a bit more."
Very good advice (hypnosis) which I will consider, I found my spiritual life already which is what helped made me change the pattern.

-"We are talking change so that you are acceptable as you are" This is a process I am working on....I lost a lot of the spark that made me the great person I am....I would like to get that back. Something to work on.

-I have forgiven myself for my past but it is difficult when going through a rough transit to not think the worst. I would like to use hypnosis to fix this.