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Author Topic:   Cancer moon and mommy issues
Solar_Leo_Queen
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posted August 18, 2017 10:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solar_Leo_Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is weird coming from a Cancer moon..

..I have terrible mommy issues. My mother was always at work when I was younger, so she had to hire maids to babysit me and my siblings. When I got older, I had to start taking care of myself (packing lunch, doing laundry, cleaning, etc). My mother seemed cold and uncaring. When I'd get terribly sick (not just a light cough/cold) she's still tell me to suck it up and go to school/work. I never tell her anything about my life because it doesn't seem like she cares enough to ask. Never had her ask if I was eating right or had clean clothes to wear. I never had her encourage me when I failed; she criticized me even more. On my birthday this year, she told me I was ruining my life by deciding to go to beauty school instead of university. I never want to speak to her again, nor even see her.

This is why I can never relate to Cancer moon descriptions. I think this is also why I get along well with Capricorn moons; I find resonance in them. My mother is not nurturing in any way. I grew up to be like that, but not her.

My moon is very well-espected, receiving only sextiles from my mercury and venus. It's my only planet in water as well. So I don't understand why my relationship with my mom turned out this way.

She feels more like Saturn to me. She has Saturn in Cancer, but it's too far from my moon to even make a conjunction.

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GrlyGirl200
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posted August 18, 2017 11:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GrlyGirl200     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
This is weird coming from a Cancer moon..

..I have terrible mommy issues. My mother was always at work when I was younger, so she had to hire maids to babysit me and my siblings. When I got older, I had to start taking care of myself (packing lunch, doing laundry, cleaning, etc). My mother seemed cold and uncaring. When I'd get terribly sick (not just a light cough/cold) she's still tell me to suck it up and go to school/work. I never tell her anything about my life because it doesn't seem like she cares enough to ask. Never had her ask if I was eating right or had clean clothes to wear. I never had her encourage me when I failed; she criticized me even more. On my birthday this year, she told me I was ruining my life by deciding to go to beauty school instead of university. I never want to speak to her again, nor even see her.

This is why I can never relate to Cancer moon descriptions. I think this is also why I get along well with Capricorn moons; I find resonance in them. My mother is not nurturing in any way. I grew up to be like that, but not her.

My moon is very well-espected, receiving only sextiles from my mercury and venus. So I don't understand why my relationship with my mom turned out this way.

She feels more like Saturn to me. She has Saturn in Cancer, but it's too far from my moon to even make a conjunction.


I don't know how old you are, but I hope you talk to her again, I know what she said was painful...but you only have one parent in this world. Plus, she was saying you could achieve so much more than just beauty school (not that there is anything wrong with it), and most parents see their child as someone who can achieve so much more.

I actually have a Cap Moon and am a Cancer Sun/Asc/Mars...my mom actually has her Saturn in Cancer Conjunct my Cancer planets, and while she is a Pisces she also has an Aqua Moon and Mars. I grew up feeling cut off and unloved (my IC in Virgo is Square Uranus...so I experienced a home life in which I was criticized a bit), but I realized she has always seen me as someone would could achieve so much, and any criticism isn't from a place of hate but a place of love (like any Virgo person).

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Aries23Degrees
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posted August 18, 2017 11:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow. It makes sense for you to be that emotionally restrained. You have learned to snuff that part of yourself out.

Look to Ic/Mc to Saturn. Declinations to Moon/Venus . I think there should be something.

My Mom has Sun/Pluto square. What a fighter. A survivor!

I have Moon/Mars square natal. Moon dra/Pluto nat opp.

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GrlyGirl200
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posted August 18, 2017 11:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GrlyGirl200     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Aries23Degrees:
Wow. It makes sense for you to be that emotionally restrained. You have learned to snuff that part of yourself out.

Look to Ic/Mc to Saturn. Declinations to Moon/Venus . I think there should be something.

My Mom has Sun/Pluto square. What a fighter. A survivor!

I have Moon/Mars square natal. Moon dra/Pluto nat opp.


Lol I am similar to you...my Mom has Moon Opp Pluto...and yeah she is a total survivor. She grew up and came of age in the Jim Crow era in the South, only to become a young adult who eschewed ANY preconceived notions of what a woman is supposed to be in the 1960's/70's. She's awesome.

I have my Moon very loosely Opp my Mars, and my Moon Square Pluto.

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Solar_Leo_Queen
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posted August 18, 2017 04:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solar_Leo_Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I do have Virgo on the IC. My whole life, I was expected to be perfect, to meet a certain standard, and to fix whatever errors I made. I grew up thinking this way (hence, my Mercury/Venus in Virgo). It's not always healthy. It took me years to learn to accept that perfection itself is an illusion.

I do agree that my mom thinks I could do so much betrer with my life, and I can, but it's not what I want. But having Pisces MC, I know that's not what I'm supposed to do. I tried to go to university to study social sciences. All it did was drain me and made me feel miserable. I dropped out after a year.

My Ascendant, MC, and IC are forming a t-square.. should this mean something? This is probably normal. I also have my Venus and NN opposing my MC.

When I looked at my synastry with her, the one thing that jumped to me is her Saturn right on my ascendant. Our Saturns are square. She did say to me I am just as critical of her as she is to me. I guess you really get the same treatment from others by how you treat them. My idea of a mother is just different.

Also, I have no idea what a declination is @Aries23Degrees.

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Aries23Degrees
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posted August 18, 2017 10:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Go to astro. com and click on chart wheel-after entering your data. Thereafter click on Pdf drawing ( additional tables). It will download a Pdf format from which to read declinations from your chart.

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kewf1988
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posted August 19, 2017 02:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for kewf1988     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
This is weird coming from a Cancer moon..

..I have terrible mommy issues. My mother was always at work when I was younger, so she had to hire maids to babysit me and my siblings. When I got older, I had to start taking care of myself (packing lunch, doing laundry, cleaning, etc). My mother seemed cold and uncaring. When I'd get terribly sick (not just a light cough/cold) she's still tell me to suck it up and go to school/work. I never tell her anything about my life because it doesn't seem like she cares enough to ask. Never had her ask if I was eating right or had clean clothes to wear. I never had her encourage me when I failed; she criticized me even more. On my birthday this year, she told me I was ruining my life by deciding to go to beauty school instead of university. I never want to speak to her again, nor even see her.

This is why I can never relate to Cancer moon descriptions. I think this is also why I get along well with Capricorn moons; I find resonance in them. My mother is not nurturing in any way. I grew up to be like that, but not her.

My moon is very well-espected, receiving only sextiles from my mercury and venus. It's my only planet in water as well. So I don't understand why my relationship with my mom turned out this way.

She feels more like Saturn to me. She has Saturn in Cancer, but it's too far from my moon to even make a conjunction.


Since you were born in 1997 and Saturn was in Cancer in the mid 1970s, it might just be her not getting parenting yet due to being young. My two best friends' moms were in their teens when they were born, and as a result had rough childhoods (one was in a very poor family, and the other's mom didn't grow up until he was in high school and his dad was too strict as was his stepmom). My mom's Aries Sun/Mercury and Capricorn Moon/Mars led to some terrible emotional outbursts that I'll never forget, but she never stooped low enough to make me go to school sick or not care about how clean my clothes were. She had me when she was 32, so she was fully mature and had enough life experience to be an effective parent, and she worked and went to school at the same time I was in the school system. Obviously not all young parents are that way, but I've noticed poor parenting in young parents more so than older parents, because they haven't reached their Saturn returns yet, which are the sign of reaching full maturity.

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hypatia238
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posted August 19, 2017 10:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hypatia238     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
I do have Virgo on the IC. My whole life, I was expected to be perfect, to meet a certain standard, and to fix whatever errors I made. I grew up thinking this way (hence, my Mercury/Venus in Virgo). It's not always healthy. It took me years to learn to accept that perfection itself is an illusion.

I do agree that my mom thinks I could do so much betrer with my life, and I can, but it's not what I want. But having Pisces MC, I know that's not what I'm supposed to do. I tried to go to university to study social sciences. All it did was drain me and made me feel miserable. I dropped out after a year.

My Ascendant, MC, and IC are forming a t-square.. should this mean something? This is probably normal. I also have my Venus and NN opposing my MC.

When I looked at my synastry with her, the one thing that jumped to me is her Saturn right on my ascendant. Our Saturns are square. She did say to me I am just as critical of her as she is to me. I guess you really get the same treatment from others by how you treat them. My idea of a mother is just different.

Also, I have no idea what a declination is @Aries23Degrees.


Ouchhhhhhhh her saturn conjuncts your ascendant. That explains it love imo....

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Aries23Degrees
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posted August 19, 2017 11:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh yes. Saturn Sun/Moon/Asc can be harsh too synastry wise.

These aspects can be both "marriage" aspects as they are a long term relationship. But the nature(with Saturn involved) feels very formal and businesslike in essense.

My Dad has Saturn on my Moon by conj. Never felt that he liked me much.

Mom has Saturn on my Moon by opp. Its hard to share real emotional feelings with her. I stay distant at times. My Saturn is also opp her Moon(she shares more things with my sister)

My Saturn sits on my Sister's Sun(opp). I care for her but find it difficult to show affection to her. I can also judge her harshly. But our relationship endures because we are siblings

Her Saturn is on my Sun. I feel that she depends on me a lot. So i must be "strong" or at least minimize the more relaxed side of my personality. Be more "serious".

My ex had Saturn in Libra square my Moon. I hated how emotionally vacant he was. But the interesting thing is that I dated two others(after him) that had Saturn in Libra and on my Moon. So it wasn't about him. But what i was attracted to.


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MilaBirkin
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posted August 19, 2017 11:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MilaBirkin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are right, your relationship with your mum seems more like Saturn than Moon in Cancer.

I have Moon in Cancer (opposite Neptune-Uranus, trine Pluto) in 3rd house and I think I had the best mother in the world of all times. I also have Leo in 4th house and Mars in 4th house. The relationship I had with her was not perfect but we were like best friends, mother and daughther, psycoanalists... and more... She was a Cancer Sun-Ascendant (both conjunct my Moon), Moon in Aries (sextile my Venus, trine my Jupiter-Mars), stellium in Leo (falling in my 4th house) in 1rst house (Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Uranus, Pluto).

When I think about the relationship we have with our mother and their personality, I think about the Moon (aspects, sign, house, maybe ruler as well), 4th house and Ceres. As the Moon has to do with the childhood I think that if someone says “I'm more like my Moon sign“ that person didn't 'grow up' yet. I think that you are more mature when you can relate more with the traits of the opposite sign of your moon because you left your childhood behind.

But maybe, you have (or you can have) someone in your life who can take care of you like Cancer. Someone who is more like your Moon (sign, house, aspects) and maybe that person is not your mother at all.

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Ami Anne
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posted August 19, 2017 11:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Cancer Moon--I have them

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colorful butterfly
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posted August 19, 2017 04:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for colorful butterfly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am wondering if it is more like, because of your mother you have a Cancer moon. Like your mom was Saturn like so that made you to be more nurturing , caring etc towards others emotionally because growing up you didn't experience those things.

I am a Cancer sun, I do understand the emotions of a Cancer moon, venus etc. Cancer sun makes me sensitive , wants to withdrawal , easily hurt.

Yet I have a Libra moon which can make me more relational to others, need for peace, harmony etc.

It is also conjunct pluto so my emotions are very strong. It can leave me logical at times , detached. I can see both sides of a story. Yet like when I am mad, I am mad and it doesn't come out as hey you just hurt my feelings. It comes out more like I don't like you etc.

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colorful butterfly
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posted August 19, 2017 04:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for colorful butterfly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
oh, so I also wanted to add that my mom was mentally ill so I think I grew up being revolved around her needs. Trying to make her happy and never really got the nurturing, affection that I needed as a child.

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Solar_Leo_Queen
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posted August 19, 2017 07:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solar_Leo_Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hypatia238:
Ouchhhhhhhh her saturn conjuncts your ascendant. That explains it love imo....

Well her Saturn is in my 1st house, not exactly "on" my ascendant (I have Gemini asc). But the feel is almost the same. I can't be myself around her. She's always telling me exactly how to be, how to dress, how to behave, how to speak, etc. Very stifling overlay tbh.

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Solar_Leo_Queen
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posted August 19, 2017 07:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solar_Leo_Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by colorful butterfly:
I am wondering if it is more like, because of your mother you have a Cancer moon. Like your mom was Saturn like so that made you to be more nurturing , caring etc towards others emotionally because growing up you didn't experience those things.

I guess that would be the case for me. I don't have children, but I consider my cat kind of like my child. I always worry if she has enough to eat, to drink, exercise, or if she feels lonely when I leave for work. I used to have a dog too and took care of him the exact same way, even when he was sick. Had to take public transportation just to get him to the vet because my parents did not have time to drive me. He was puking and peeing all over, but I didn't care. I took care of him until we got to the vet.

You having a Libra moon, it makes sense that you had to try to keep your mom happy and didn't get the nurturing that you were supposed to get. Libra is very other people-oriented. I guess you kinda had to neglect your needs for the sake of others'.

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colorful butterfly
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posted August 19, 2017 10:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for colorful butterfly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
I guess that would be the case for me. I don't have children, but I consider my cat kind of like my child. I always worry if she has enough to eat, to drink, exercise, or if she feels lonely when I leave for work. I used to have a dog too and took care of him the exact same way, even when he was sick. Had to take public transportation just to get him to the vet because my parents did not have time to drive me. He was puking and peeing all over, but I didn't care. I took care of him until we got to the vet.

You having a Libra moon, it makes sense that you had to try to keep your mom happy and didn't get the nurturing that you were supposed to get. Libra is very other people-oriented. I guess you kinda had to neglect your needs for the sake of others'.


Thank you, I was trying to figure out the best words to put Libra moon.

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Randall
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posted August 23, 2017 11:11 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well-said, Solar!

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Kannon McAfee
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posted August 23, 2017 10:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kannon McAfee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Solar_Leo_Queen,

Your natal Moon [18N15] is contra-parallel and quincunx Uranus [19S15]. That is a stressful relationship between them (feeling and liberation) that speaks to possible early life changes in your support system or absences of a parent. This aspect helps characterize how you experienced your mother (along with the other aspects), not necessarily how she was objectively as a person or mother.

Venus aspects can also characterize how one experiences mother/women. Your natal chart has Venus square Pluto, plus coming from Virgo and with other factors there, apparently over the IC, there is seen some chance for an experience of a critical atmosphere at home.

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Randall
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posted August 29, 2017 09:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks, Kannon!

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Solar_Leo_Queen
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posted September 01, 2017 01:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Solar_Leo_Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
Solar_Leo_Queen,

Your natal Moon [18N15] is contra-parallel and quincunx Uranus [19S15]. That is a stressful relationship between them (feeling and liberation) that speaks to possible early life changes in your support system or absences of a parent. This aspect helps characterize how you experienced your mother (along with the other aspects), not necessarily how she was objectively as a person or mother.

Venus aspects can also characterize how one experiences mother/women. Your natal chart has Venus square Pluto, plus coming from Virgo and with other factors there, apparently over the IC, there is seen some chance for an experience of a critical atmosphere at home.


So there's hidden aspects in my chart? I knew of the quincunx but I didn't think that would have any major effects. Not sure what a contraparallel is, but that seems pretty interesting. I also agree that Venus may have something to do with experiencing feminine qualities. I don't get along very well with other women. I tend to mistrust them, even though I have one or two that I trust.

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Kannon McAfee
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posted September 01, 2017 10:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kannon McAfee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
The contra-parallel is an opposition of declination (north/south).

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Randall
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posted September 05, 2017 11:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks!

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Sagical
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posted September 05, 2017 10:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sagical     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Once upon a long time ago, I had read something about Cancer moons.... they had great moms or have mommy issues.

If I relate this back to myself and my Cancer Moon....I have two mother influences. One was that lady who gave birth to me and the other was my loving mother who took care of me and was my best friend until she died twenty years ago Sept 12.

A cancer moon LOVES family. They think Mom is very important. My birth mom thought me coming into the world was the greatest most devastating tragedy of her young life - all future dreams destroyed...... the loving Mother who came to my side was actually my maternal Grandma... She was my Mom and best friend who loved me deeply and was proud of me.

I saw the two sides..... the dysfunctional parenting and then healthy parenting. It gave me clear insights into each and which ways I would want to parent my kids.

My loving mother taught me well......I felt blessed to have had her in my life and I don't know what I would have done without her growing up..... while I believe the birth mother would have left me to the wolves to die........

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Koniucha
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posted September 06, 2017 07:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Koniucha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
This is weird coming from a Cancer moon..

..I have terrible mommy issues. My mother was always at work when I was younger, so she had to hire maids to babysit me and my siblings. When I got older, I had to start taking care of myself (packing lunch, doing laundry, cleaning, etc). My mother seemed cold and uncaring. When I'd get terribly sick (not just a light cough/cold) she's still tell me to suck it up and go to school/work. I never tell her anything about my life because it doesn't seem like she cares enough to ask. Never had her ask if I was eating right or had clean clothes to wear. I never had her encourage me when I failed; she criticized me even more. On my birthday this year, she told me I was ruining my life by deciding to go to beauty school instead of university. I never want to speak to her again, nor even see her.

This is why I can never relate to Cancer moon descriptions. I think this is also why I get along well with Capricorn moons; I find resonance in them. My mother is not nurturing in any way. I grew up to be like that, but not her.

My moon is very well-espected, receiving only sextiles from my mercury and venus. It's my only planet in water as well. So I don't understand why my relationship with my mom turned out this way.

She feels more like Saturn to me. She has Saturn in Cancer, but it's too far from my moon to even make a conjunction.


I am a Cancer moon, but have moon square Pluto. My mom is and continues to be very controlling. She was very hard on the three of us and continues with me. I am the oldest, with the tightest moon square Pluto. My brother also has that and my sister has the trine.

I actually realized I have to limit her in my life, which is so sad because I crave that closeness being a Cancer moon, but I can't for my sanity and that of my daughters.

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Cynnared
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posted September 06, 2017 10:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cynnared     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Koniucha:
I am a Cancer moon, but have moon square Pluto. My mom is and continues to be very controlling. She was very hard on the three of us and continues with me. I am the oldest, with the tightest moon square Pluto. My brother also has that and my sister has the trine.

I actually realized I have to limit her in my life, which is so sad because I crave that closeness being a Cancer moon, but I can't for my sanity and that of my daughters.


The moon in hard aspect the Pluto, in general is quite harsh....mom turns into mommy dearest. I have a few friends with that aspect and their mom are quite hellish to them.....Pluto in hard aspect to a water moon is very tough..

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