posted October 28, 2017 05:05 AM            

I have fallen for an Aqua man and I really need help to understand him and what is going on here. If there are any Aquas or Aqua experts who can help me I would appreciate it so much!

I think maybe we have something special between us that has grown slowly over time but it feels very alien to me and I have no idea how to navigate this strange relationship and at this point I think perhaps the feelings might not be returned at all!

We met a year ago and dated for a couple of months. He pursued me at the time quite sweetly and was a perfect gentleman and he seemed completely smitten, but once we were an item he seemed to angst quite a lot after only a few dates.

The problems were:

1. He seemed almost immediately to begin to analyse me in terms of long term suitability and to question / put negatives onto the possibility of a future. For example "you're so emotional and I am so guarded and I worry how that will be in five years".

2. He had deep issues with the idea of losing his freedom. I made it clear from day one that I expected immediate exclusivity (I'm a Scorpio!) and he was very uncomfortable with that demand. He felt I expected too much too soon and I felt it was basic respect.

3. He put blocks up on emotional connection by backing off and keeping a wall up and got annoyed if I tried to get close, saying I was trying to get into his head; then he'd comment he felt concerned our relationship was purely based on sexual passion (when the truth was sexual passion was all he was giving me!)

I admit I made mistakes at the time by being a typical Scorpio; demanding, inflexible and possessive and my attempts to manipulate and control him always backfired and pushed him further away.

On the positive side, despite the friction the attraction was extremely strong and it took us several attempts to break up. We were also always very tolerant and patient with the other one and there was a lot of mutual respect and compassion between us. We never got angry or argued, it was more like we were trying to convince the other one to accept our terms and neither one would.

He worried I was too intense, he worried that we were too different and he worried we were attracted to each other too passionately sexually and this was shallow and lacked the friendship element. He kept saying that we should just spend time together and get to know each other slowly but at the same time he kind of avoided intimacy with me. I felt like he was making excuses not to take a chance because he didn't know me well enough to judge compatibility.

In the end, he disappeared without saying goodbye. We had only had 5 dates at that time (spread over 3 months because of all the issues between us) and I didn't feel any emotional connection to him at the time because I felt he had been deliberately distant with me.

5 months passed by and then he contacted me to apologise for disappearing. He wasn't trying to see me or get back together but he wanted to say that he regretted behaving in such a selfish and inconsiderate way. He said he got spooked and that was his own fault and he expressed regret that things hadn't worked out with us. I thanked him for his apology and we said goodbye.

I admit, the sincerity of this apology showed integrity and kindness to me, and also showed that he had been thinking of me and at that time I started to like him more than I had when we were dating.

He the continued to contact me every few weeks, just a message to ask how I was and slowly over time we started to speak regularly.

He told me he'd been in only one relationship in his life, and it was one he'd been trapped in by pregnancy and that he had been dating "casually" for years without any commitment. He said part of him loved his freedom and part of him felt I was right - that dating this way was sad and lonely and didn't have any real meaning. He made it clear he had a strong fear of picking the wrong person and becoming trapped again.

He definitely rationalises romance rather than just going with what he feels!

Over a few months we talked quite regularly. Sometimes it was very flirty and passionate and we'd talk about meeting up. The sexual attraction between us was always 10 out of 10 so we definitely still wanted each other.

Other times we'd just talk about life or our thoughts and I do think we became kind of "pen friends" and I started to like him a lot and care about him.

The only thing I didn't like was his lack of consistency, and quite often we'd have an intimate talk and speak of meeting up and he would not follow through and would go quiet for a couple of weeks. I could feel a strong sense of push / pull.

He tried to see me a few times, asking me to hang out or meet him that night, but it felt to me like he wanted sex from me because at the moment, he's been dating two women for a few months so I had no idea what the point of seeing him was.

One day he messaged me and said "I am down to one girl I am seeing by the way" and I said "ok!" and then he said "maybe you and I could hang out? Go to the movies or dinner or something and see what happens". So it definitely felt like he was feeling me out for potentially dating again.

He says none of the women he is dating are potential relationships but they are "nice to pass the time" but at the same time he never said he was interested in anything more than sex with me so I always felt a bit confused about what he actually wanted.

Last week, I was sick and feeling really low and he asked if he could come over and see me. Until that point, I honestly thought his only interest in me was having sex with me again so the request surprised me. He did come over and we saw each other for the first time in about 8 months, and he took very tender care of me which was a side of him I hadn't seen. He was extremely kind and affectionate to me, settling me and bringing me hot drinks and holding my hand and he kept telling me how pretty I was and how nice my skin felt and all that.

That night he also talked to me quite deeply about his thoughts and feelings and I got to know him better than I ever had before. I definitely started to fall for him and thought we should try dating again.

I asked him why he wanted to spend his Saturday night taking care of me when I was just a girl he dated a few weeks a year ago and he said "you're a nice person, I enjoy taking care of you and it's my way of showing TLC. I am sorry if I haven't been good to you more generally but I do really like you".

Then after that night he went very quiet on me. It took him 5 days to contact me again and he actually told me he'd been on a date with someone else (new person!) who he apparently had a first date with right before he came over to take care of me! Which really shocked me. I was just baffled, and actually quite hurt and confused about why he would want to take care of an ex right after a first date and before a second date with someone else!

We talked a bit yesterday and I felt a bit tired of being confused so I told him I thought he and I would be really good together. He replied, "really? interesting...we're good friends and I desire you strongly physically but do you think that's enough?". I pretty much said yes and all the reasons I thought we were a good match despite our differences and he replied "you always spook me with this emotional stuff, but it's part of who you are and I love you for it".

We then had a kind of flirty conversation back and forth but he didn't really say what he thought.

I am pretty confused here, not sure what he wants from me. Does he just want a friend? Does he just want a friend with maybe the potential of sex?

I can't understand at all what his motivations are if they appear to not be dating me? I think over time it's become pretty clear from my side of things that we're a perfect match. He drives me crazy, yes, but I think I would also deeply love this person just as he is

posted October 28, 2017 06:30 AM            

I also fee that he is addicted to the emotional "fix" you supply. Kinda like a movie he wants to watch, be entertained by . But then walk out into his real life.

He has shown you many times whom he really is. Conceptually he'd like to think that he is living up to an ideal. But the real guy whom you are dealing with is rife with issues that he immature in dealing head on with.

You also gain some type of "fix" from this up/down motiion. Perhaps its he keeping u on your toes that you find fascinating? That is fine if you honestly love that. But me thinks you want so much more. And he aint giving.

My thoughts are that you believe in the fireworks that you two have. No wait...scratch that. U believe in the fireworks that YOU believe you share. He on the other hand is not making that clear. And that is how he will keep it.

You come across very emotional. Don't be made to feel guilty for that. Its not "wrong" that you are. He just isn't the right fit fot you. And the breadcrumbs he expects to fill you up make u even hungrier.

And its not because he can't give you a full meal. Its perhaps because you haven't demanded it. As you keep letting him walk in/out of your life at will.

No matter the sign, if someone likes someone. They dont flaunt their other dates in the persons face because they don't want to ruin what they share with the person concerned.

If you are concerned about losing the sex. As scorpio influenced people often confuse good sex with love, keep him as a f*** buddy. But make that clear to him. And most importantly to you too

I think that you can do better. And the irony is that when eventually you do wake from this and realize that, he may pull out all the stops to get you.

posted October 28, 2017 08:35 AM            

I’m not an Aqua anything but I do have a stellium in 11H trine Uranus. I also have an Aqua Vertex. We have HIGH ideals. Most are impossible to live up to! The tendency to analyze from the beginning is there and unfortunately the littlest “wrong” will make a lot of “wrongs” down the road. If a man had demanded total exclusivity from me from the get-go, I would have run for the hills, and I have. He might have agreed to this ON HIS OWN TERMS, which would loosely have translated to him spending time with you. Verbal demands might be a tad intrusive for Uranians..

Personally I don’t see a Scorp and Aqua as a good combo whatsoever but that’s my opinion!

Now, he may like you a lot and try and give it another shot by contacting you HERE AND THERE, and that is your pointer to lay low and go with flow of things. If that’s not something you can do, we are all wired differently, you should probably cut contact for your own good.

posted October 28, 2017 08:50 AM            

I know Aqua / Scorp can be difficult but I've done it before at it was a fantastic relationship. He was a different person though of course.

I've got pretty much half my planets in Scorpio and half in Sag so I do have an airy element but the Scorpio is definitely dominant.

Ahh. I just can't work out what to do in this situation. I'm frustrated because he's 46 and doesn't really have female friends ever (definitely not in contact with exes)... So I wonder why it is that he wants to be in contact with me all the time or take care of me when I'm Sick. I don't see what his angle is or what the point is but i feel like we are slowly getting closer.

It's not platonic either. There's a lot of sexual tension. It's strange.

I don't really feel any jealousy about other women. He's not committed to anyone for many years and I think the common denominator is him.

posted October 28, 2017 09:31 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by misspriss:
Thank you

I know Aqua / Scorp can be difficult but I've done it before at it was a fantastic relationship. He was a different person though of course.

I've got pretty much half my planets in Scorpio and half in Sag so I do have an airy element but the Scorpio is definitely dominant.

Ahh. I just can't work out what to do in this situation. I'm frustrated because he's 46 and doesn't really have female friends ever (definitely not in contact with exes)... So I wonder why it is that he wants to be in contact with me all the time or take care of me when I'm Sick. I don't see what his angle is or what the point is but i feel like we are slowly getting closer.

It's not platonic either. There's a lot of sexual tension. It's strange.

I don't really feel any jealousy about other women. He's not committed to anyone for many years and I think the common denominator is him.

It's frustrating to let him go because I feel there is something there but as you say it might be only me that feels it

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